(no subject)
K well I dont know what happened..but i was happy, and now im kinda pisssed off. I dont understand. I think im just goin through a mood swing, or im stick and tired of hearing about college this, and college that...and ohh what are you gonna do with your life!! STOP IT, I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!!! NOT FOR 42 DAYS!! PLEASE!
So i went to jakes house last night..and talked to his mom for 3 1/2 hours. It was just the parents there, until jake came home saw me, and got shy. And then Keegan came home with Todd and she practically tackled me with a hug. It felt good to be hugged, meaningfully. So Mrs.M and i talked the whole time, Im just ready for this "break" to be over. I want him back. I want to be sleeping at 10 o'clock and then feel my cell buzzing and see his name on my caller I.D. And i want to hear his voice when he leaves me messages during class saying he's just wanting to talk..and he'll call me at lunch. I want to see him every monday, wensday, and weekends like we used to. I want to watch saving silverman at his house..even though we end up cuddling the whole movie. I want to get a BAJILLION texts in every hour from him.
This sucks. A lot. I want to hear from Britton so i dont worry myself to insanity thinking he's in a lot of trouble over there. God forbid! I want everyone home...and things to be great.. cuz right now i feel like crying, and i dont know why.
And i cut my thumb while cutting lettuce, and it pissed me off because my brother wanted me to make dinner, but then he leaves as soon as its done, and i eat dinner by myself. I hate that...SO much. Not the cooking and leaving part, but eating alone.
Im just full of complaints aren't I?. I guess if my life wasn't goin so dumb right now then maybe I wouldn't be. Oh and one last thing. You know how everyone has their best friend that they most likely will be walking with grad. night....? It may be even you. I won't. I have a feeling she doesn't even give A CRAP about school anymore, and i want to yell at her for being the way she is! Because she's smarter than that...I KNOW SHE IS!! fricken A. And we wont walk together. We wont be wearing matching cap and gowns together. I wont have that picture of us with diplomas framed in my room. I WILL BE BY MYSELF GRADUATION NIGHT.!!! BY MY FRICKEN SELF BECAUSE NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!! AT ALL!!! *crying now*. Ill see everyone huggin their best friends, their boyfriend/girlfriends..and yeah there's me on the other side looking in.
I feel like no one really knows who i am anymore, no one really cares. And its making me feel like i shouldn't either.
OH AND ANOTHER THING. FETCHING PROM!!! yeah, I've heard mention of it at least 15 times in the past 2 weeks. "ohh have you been asked yet?" NO I HAVENT BEEN ASKED YET, I HONESLTY DONT THINK IM GONNA BE ASKED AND IF I AM, IT PROBABLY WONT BE MY DREAM DATE!! Or my boyfriend..or my lover...or even my crush!! cuz I look at all the senior girls i know, and 90% of them have their dates already! Do i? no. Cuz Im danielle, and no one takes me seriously. No one ever has, and probably never will. Cuz i cut myself off from getting involved with guys at school, cuz i KNOW i will end up hurt. Again. For the millionth time. I've learned from 3 drummer boys, that i really cant trust boys that go my school. I see them almost every day and it bugs the HECK out of me.
Whatever.
So i went to jakes house last night..and talked to his mom for 3 1/2 hours. It was just the parents there, until jake came home saw me, and got shy. And then Keegan came home with Todd and she practically tackled me with a hug. It felt good to be hugged, meaningfully. So Mrs.M and i talked the whole time, Im just ready for this "break" to be over. I want him back. I want to be sleeping at 10 o'clock and then feel my cell buzzing and see his name on my caller I.D. And i want to hear his voice when he leaves me messages during class saying he's just wanting to talk..and he'll call me at lunch. I want to see him every monday, wensday, and weekends like we used to. I want to watch saving silverman at his house..even though we end up cuddling the whole movie. I want to get a BAJILLION texts in every hour from him.
This sucks. A lot. I want to hear from Britton so i dont worry myself to insanity thinking he's in a lot of trouble over there. God forbid! I want everyone home...and things to be great.. cuz right now i feel like crying, and i dont know why.
And i cut my thumb while cutting lettuce, and it pissed me off because my brother wanted me to make dinner, but then he leaves as soon as its done, and i eat dinner by myself. I hate that...SO much. Not the cooking and leaving part, but eating alone.
Im just full of complaints aren't I?. I guess if my life wasn't goin so dumb right now then maybe I wouldn't be. Oh and one last thing. You know how everyone has their best friend that they most likely will be walking with grad. night....? It may be even you. I won't. I have a feeling she doesn't even give A CRAP about school anymore, and i want to yell at her for being the way she is! Because she's smarter than that...I KNOW SHE IS!! fricken A. And we wont walk together. We wont be wearing matching cap and gowns together. I wont have that picture of us with diplomas framed in my room. I WILL BE BY MYSELF GRADUATION NIGHT.!!! BY MY FRICKEN SELF BECAUSE NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!! AT ALL!!! *crying now*. Ill see everyone huggin their best friends, their boyfriend/girlfriends..and yeah there's me on the other side looking in.
I feel like no one really knows who i am anymore, no one really cares. And its making me feel like i shouldn't either.
OH AND ANOTHER THING. FETCHING PROM!!! yeah, I've heard mention of it at least 15 times in the past 2 weeks. "ohh have you been asked yet?" NO I HAVENT BEEN ASKED YET, I HONESLTY DONT THINK IM GONNA BE ASKED AND IF I AM, IT PROBABLY WONT BE MY DREAM DATE!! Or my boyfriend..or my lover...or even my crush!! cuz I look at all the senior girls i know, and 90% of them have their dates already! Do i? no. Cuz Im danielle, and no one takes me seriously. No one ever has, and probably never will. Cuz i cut myself off from getting involved with guys at school, cuz i KNOW i will end up hurt. Again. For the millionth time. I've learned from 3 drummer boys, that i really cant trust boys that go my school. I see them almost every day and it bugs the HECK out of me.
Whatever.