The Exodus
"It's supposed to flood in Bangkok."
"Flood?" Pete thinks for a minute from behind the driver's wheel as we race down the highway. "Good thing we've got an anchor then."
Our departure was five hours later than expected due to Pete pulling one of his acts as the great Hudini, but I laugh for the late departure hasn't effected my mood later and because ironically it's ridiculously, there is an anchor in the back of the truck.
---
That weekend as the rains that fell and lightening hit thrice, which is said as normal for bad luck. A car crash, stabbing (in the hand by a Nigerian hooker, to which my father asked later when I relayed the story, "Is that what they call a hand job?"), and murder. It was as if the force that issues the winds of travel was blowing, issuing a harsh good riddance for my journey Stateside.
If you google "Worst Airline Ever" you may be surprised. I was. United Airlines? Reeeeaaaally? I admit, when I returned to the states from Europe on United I was appalled by the spam luncheon, sugar bla, and a Twix candy bar for dessert. Perhaps it's simply that Americans have a greater capacity to complain, and to bring those complaints through to the internet. Look what I myself am getting up to... Most airlines do get by serving sugar foods, an obvious money saver, and perhaps it goes unnoticed by many travelers. I detest it, however, when after an airplane meal when you feel the telling fuzzy-after-meal critters come out and moss your teeth. It's one reason I tend to request vegetarian, as there are greater chances of getting a simple fruit platter, or better yet, go vegan. Today on China Eastern airlines, however, that request went unnoticed as I suspiciously tore apart a bun stuffed with a sausage. I stuffed the oreo bars, dried (fructose) apples, and cake bread in my bag for later and tried to get some shut eye.
I imagined what it would be like to be 6'2" stuffed in that little seat. I felt like my brother in our past travels with his legs sprawling and knees grinding, much to my annoyance and complaint, into into my knee as my knee grazed the stranger sitting next to me. I was Alice in Wonderland, a giant thrashing in a miniature airplane seat, writhing to find a comfortable position as I've always been able to do on every transportation. Ever. It's one of the wonders of being little.
Tiniest seats ever.
Once I accepted the tiny seats and had cushioned my lower back with my travel pillow to protect myself from the hours of fabric-covered-wooden-seat agony, I crammed a pillow up on the window and tried to get some shut eye. After all, my flight had been delayed until 3:15am, and who can really say when it actually took off the ground.
I pushed away the sarong I'd been using for warmth. Removed the extra shirt, and wondered why it was so steamy in the airplane. Although I'd blind folded myself with a bandana to protect my eyes from harmful airplane light, I could surely HEAR the ventilators. I just couldn't feel them. Eventually I peaked one eye out, and much to my dismay, THERE WERE NO VENTS! I'd been duped by faux vent sound! I was to sit there for hours and hours of agony in a miniature seat breathing airplane death funk air!
And here is where I make an angry comment about how the stewardesses lock the toilet doors half an hour before landing.
Well, with all that said and done, the time here in Shanghai is now 11:11am, and it's time to down some noodles, fill up my water bottle, and board the next 14 hours of China Eastern flight to New York.
"Flood?" Pete thinks for a minute from behind the driver's wheel as we race down the highway. "Good thing we've got an anchor then."
Our departure was five hours later than expected due to Pete pulling one of his acts as the great Hudini, but I laugh for the late departure hasn't effected my mood later and because ironically it's ridiculously, there is an anchor in the back of the truck.
---
That weekend as the rains that fell and lightening hit thrice, which is said as normal for bad luck. A car crash, stabbing (in the hand by a Nigerian hooker, to which my father asked later when I relayed the story, "Is that what they call a hand job?"), and murder. It was as if the force that issues the winds of travel was blowing, issuing a harsh good riddance for my journey Stateside.
If you google "Worst Airline Ever" you may be surprised. I was. United Airlines? Reeeeaaaally? I admit, when I returned to the states from Europe on United I was appalled by the spam luncheon, sugar bla, and a Twix candy bar for dessert. Perhaps it's simply that Americans have a greater capacity to complain, and to bring those complaints through to the internet. Look what I myself am getting up to... Most airlines do get by serving sugar foods, an obvious money saver, and perhaps it goes unnoticed by many travelers. I detest it, however, when after an airplane meal when you feel the telling fuzzy-after-meal critters come out and moss your teeth. It's one reason I tend to request vegetarian, as there are greater chances of getting a simple fruit platter, or better yet, go vegan. Today on China Eastern airlines, however, that request went unnoticed as I suspiciously tore apart a bun stuffed with a sausage. I stuffed the oreo bars, dried (fructose) apples, and cake bread in my bag for later and tried to get some shut eye.
I imagined what it would be like to be 6'2" stuffed in that little seat. I felt like my brother in our past travels with his legs sprawling and knees grinding, much to my annoyance and complaint, into into my knee as my knee grazed the stranger sitting next to me. I was Alice in Wonderland, a giant thrashing in a miniature airplane seat, writhing to find a comfortable position as I've always been able to do on every transportation. Ever. It's one of the wonders of being little.
Tiniest seats ever.
Once I accepted the tiny seats and had cushioned my lower back with my travel pillow to protect myself from the hours of fabric-covered-wooden-seat agony, I crammed a pillow up on the window and tried to get some shut eye. After all, my flight had been delayed until 3:15am, and who can really say when it actually took off the ground.
I pushed away the sarong I'd been using for warmth. Removed the extra shirt, and wondered why it was so steamy in the airplane. Although I'd blind folded myself with a bandana to protect my eyes from harmful airplane light, I could surely HEAR the ventilators. I just couldn't feel them. Eventually I peaked one eye out, and much to my dismay, THERE WERE NO VENTS! I'd been duped by faux vent sound! I was to sit there for hours and hours of agony in a miniature seat breathing airplane death funk air!
And here is where I make an angry comment about how the stewardesses lock the toilet doors half an hour before landing.
Well, with all that said and done, the time here in Shanghai is now 11:11am, and it's time to down some noodles, fill up my water bottle, and board the next 14 hours of China Eastern flight to New York.