Feelings
Fuck I feel shit. I feel so ugly and horrible. Why is Emily so perfect? I have never heard anyone bitch about her. It is really horrible being best friends with Katie, Emily and Freya because they are all so perfect and pretty. Enerybody loves them and all the boys fancy them. I just wish one of them wasn't fancied by someone. I just feel like, I feel like shit so you should too. I feel like such a bitch, I am just wishing unhappiness on all my friends.
I like Tom so much. Why won't he like me? What is wrong with me? I try and convince myself that the only reason he doesn't like me is my teeth, and that he is just really superficial, but I know its not true, and even if it was it would not be that much of a help. He just prefers Katie and Emily. Most people do, if you asked like anyone who they prefer out of me, Emily , Katie and Freya noone would say me. Boy or girl. Noone fancies me. I am horrible and ugly. Actually I know I'm not ugly but people do not find me attractive. I wish someone, anyone fancied me. I wish Tom but I have resigned myself to the fact that he almost definately never will. It's funny how little things can make you feel so incredibly shit. Rainbow just said about Tom talking about how great Emily is and it depressed me so much. I want to be happy for her and angry at her but I cant bring myself to be either. I cant be happy because I just like him to much, and I cant be angry because she hasn't actually done anything and I just really like her. If I am honest I am just really angry at myself for not being good enough for Tom.