ahh memories of a new year
I think of the quote I thought of the first time in November, when the elusive mirage decided to drop me a line:
"Trick me once, shame on you. Trick me twice, shame on me"
Which is why after cordial exchange to, you know, catch up on the last 3 months (!!!) I ignored the suggestion that we 'simply must catch up, darling' (pfft... excuse ME?!)
However I got over it by Christmas and filled with holiday spirit dropped him (alongside everyone else on my mobile phone) a Happy Christmas and New Year. Ironic then, that a few days before New Year I run into the chap, who makes several planned dates in advance (which bt.w. - were in the majority just plans (including the weekend retreat at his parents due to his inability to put in effort therefore overcoming complications...). This is a lil diddy I penned:
I must not overanalyse this time
I'll take it as it comes
And if it's doesn't eventuate, well,
We've been through that before
Complex feelings we explore
Governed by fear
Falling to the floor,
It's but a tragic script I've read before
Knowing our feelings, but
with no strength to say it anymore.
We talk with eyes not with words
The most important left unheard
An age of endless circling, well,
Soon our time will be forever gone
Complex feelings we explore
Governed by fear
Again on the floor,
A repeat performance,
Knowing, but
with no strength to say it anymore.
Will you say what's on my mind this time, or
Once again part with an embrace?
Will I abandon paranoia to throw caution in the air, or
my hands. In defeat.
It's simply because I'm scared of you,
Scared of my wanting you more and more,
Desire to evaporate into you,
Wanting my complexity explored.
This porverbial wall is hard to climb,
and I wonder,
Is it really worth the fall?
Long story short... went on 7 hour date, had excellent time... but all in all, didn't care either way how it went (though for lust purposes i did PREFER one way over the other)
I noticed on said date that i was seeing flaws.. not completely overpowering flaws, but stillf flaws that made me think for the first time, "i betcha there's other guys out here. Heaps of them. Perhaps even better? No, not so much better but different and equally as enticing..."
"Trick me once, shame on you. Trick me twice, shame on me"
Which is why after cordial exchange to, you know, catch up on the last 3 months (!!!) I ignored the suggestion that we 'simply must catch up, darling' (pfft... excuse ME?!)
However I got over it by Christmas and filled with holiday spirit dropped him (alongside everyone else on my mobile phone) a Happy Christmas and New Year. Ironic then, that a few days before New Year I run into the chap, who makes several planned dates in advance (which bt.w. - were in the majority just plans (including the weekend retreat at his parents due to his inability to put in effort therefore overcoming complications...). This is a lil diddy I penned:
I must not overanalyse this time
I'll take it as it comes
And if it's doesn't eventuate, well,
We've been through that before
Complex feelings we explore
Governed by fear
Falling to the floor,
It's but a tragic script I've read before
Knowing our feelings, but
with no strength to say it anymore.
We talk with eyes not with words
The most important left unheard
An age of endless circling, well,
Soon our time will be forever gone
Complex feelings we explore
Governed by fear
Again on the floor,
A repeat performance,
Knowing, but
with no strength to say it anymore.
Will you say what's on my mind this time, or
Once again part with an embrace?
Will I abandon paranoia to throw caution in the air, or
my hands. In defeat.
It's simply because I'm scared of you,
Scared of my wanting you more and more,
Desire to evaporate into you,
Wanting my complexity explored.
This porverbial wall is hard to climb,
and I wonder,
Is it really worth the fall?
Long story short... went on 7 hour date, had excellent time... but all in all, didn't care either way how it went (though for lust purposes i did PREFER one way over the other)
I noticed on said date that i was seeing flaws.. not completely overpowering flaws, but stillf flaws that made me think for the first time, "i betcha there's other guys out here. Heaps of them. Perhaps even better? No, not so much better but different and equally as enticing..."