Don't Look Down (page 6)
(back to page 5: http://luv-bowie-luver.livejournal.com/53079.html)
***
“Darling, do you know what’s happened to my phone?” Gordon asked curiously. It was nearly lunchtime and everyone was up and about, getting ready to go out for a ski at the nearby lodge. Gordon was trying to access his phone, but it wouldn’t even switch on.
“No idea,” Krista spoke quickly, damning herself for lying to him but for some reason he did not catch her out, “do hurry or we’ll be late!”
“Huh.. “ Gordon threw his phone down onto the kitchen counter and left it there, “oh well. I’ll see if it’ll charge when we get back.”
David looked at Krista knowingly, she slowed down as she passed by him and he gently snagged her arm.
“Odd time for a phone to die,” David said quietly.
“You know?” Krista breathed nervously.
“I read the paper,” David said firmly.
“It’s in the paper!?” Krista panicked more, “oh God.. “
“Relax,” David reassured her, “it wasn’t exactly front page headlines.. It was in the gossip column.”
"What were you doing reading the gossip column?" Krista teased him gently.
David laughed quietly.
"I always say, if you haven't got anything nice to say about someone, come and sit next to me!" he told her amusedly, his grin fading only slightly due to the seriousness of the situation.
Krista smiled but sighed softly, running her fingers worriedly through her hair.
“So what happens now?” she wondered.
“Well,” David lifted his gaze to ensure Gordon wasn’t about to interrupt them, “he won’t come away from this smelling of roses, but he can opt for a press conference to clear up the facts.”
“And that’ll help?” Krista asked him pointedly.
“It won’t hurt,” David replied vaguely, “come on, we’d better get moving.”
He shifted away from her just as Gordon approached them, Krista looked up and Gordon smiled at her a little, looking curiously from her to David and back again.
“Something wrong?” Gordon wondered.
“Uhm.. “ Krista’s voice shook a little and her eyes darted to David, but he was still walking away and didn’t turn back. Gordon looked less amused now, his expression turning almost serious.
“Babe?” he prompted her.
“It’s not important right now,” Krista replied, not wanting to ruin what could potentially be a wonderful day out, “can we just go?”
Gordon sized her up for a moment and she held her breath, then he just smiled broadly at her and pulled her close to him.
“You are a funny, little thing sometimes,” he said amusedly, ruffling her hair and kissing her cheek with a laugh when she squealed in protest and swatted his hand away.
*
Watching David trying to teach Gordon how to ski was hilarious, Gordon kept falling over and in turn, David would sink to his knees in laughter. It eventually turned into a half hearted snowball fight, with Gordon stuffing snow down David’s back when he finally caught him and dragged him to the ground.
“Gordon! Be careful!” Krista shouted across the snowy ground, wobbling as Iman grabbed her arm and held her steady, she was learning too but was making a bit more progress because she wasn’t goofing off like the men had been all day long.
“It’s alright,” Iman reassured Krista, “David’s a big boy, he can handle a little rough housing.”
“He’s so much smaller in stature though,” Krista worried, “what if he gets hurt?”
“Trust me,” Iman spoke knowingly, “my David is tougher than he looks.”
She turned and continued on down the slope, Krista hoped she knew what she was talking about and followed her slowly, glancing back at the men once more and then continuing on after Iman. Lexi and Savannah were playing in the snow nearby, the slope was a small one for beginners and so they wouldn’t be able to go out of sight of their parents very easily.
“Fuck, that was freezing!” David shook the snow out of his clothes, “I can’t feel my back at all.. “
Gordon got up as well, shaking himself off a little and dusting the snow from his hair.
“Yeah well, I can hardly feel my arse,” Gordon complained with a grin, “how much did you manage to pack down there? Fuckin’ hell!”
David laughed a little harder as Gordon tried to discreetly scoop the snow from his pants and Gordon tried to tell him to shut up but dissolved into laughter himself in the end.
Back inside the lodge, they all drank some hot chocolate to warm up and admit to one another how much fun they’d had. Skiing had a romantic place in David and Iman’s hearts, they constantly held hands, smiled and kissed at every opportunity and Krista adored them for the way they behaved like newlyweds despite having been married for a long, long time. She gazed at Gordon, who was squeezing her thigh while he talked to some guy sitting close to him about the benefits of fennel and lemongrass on whatever dish the guy had queried him about. Krista hadn’t really been listening, her thoughts drifting back to that news piece and her heart skipping a beat as she tried to find the right way to tell Gordon about it.
She had no idea how he’d react, she knew that the longer she left it the more damage she might cause, but could she honestly destroy such an amazing holiday with such a shitty piece of information? Did she really want to look back on the photos of this trip (not to mention their wedding pictures!) and see that faraway look in Gordon’s eyes, as he thought distractedly about the headlines and forced a smile to his face just for the sake of the camera? She had to hand it to David, he was as cool as a cucumber and didn’t even seem remotely phased or look anything at all like he might be harboring such a secret. David would eventually tell Gordon if Krista did not, he was too good a friend to let one of his best mates down like that but he was giving her the opportunity to get in first. She looked at Gordon again, he was going to be a billionaire someday, she was certain of it and this would not be the only incident he would have to face. Might as well get it over with, it wasn’t just going to magically disappear all on it’s own.
“Gordon,” Krista spoke up and was quick to notice David ushering Iman away, leaving them alone to talk. Gordon turned away from the fan he was chatting with and gave her his complete attention.
“What’s the matter darling?” he asked her with concern in both his tone and expression, “you look pale.”
He was staring at her with such affection, love and worry, Krista hated to have to be the one to break the bad news to him. She touched his face and stroked his cheek softly, her bottom lip trembling and she snuggled up into his offered embrace.
“Hey,” Gordon consoled her gently, “what’s got you so upset sweetheart? Is it the baby?”
“No,” Krista let him know immediately, “no it’s not the baby.”
Gordon hugged her tighter.
“Whatever it is,” he assured her, rubbing her back and letting her cuddle up into him more, “I’ll fix it, I promise babe.”
Krista rubbed her cheek against his shirt, feeling his broad, muscular chest through the fabric and sighing deeply, relaxing into his arms. Even as she prepared to tell him his bad news, he was thinking only of her and promising to make it better. Selfless, it was a word she often used to describe him and she felt it right now, no matter what was happening, she always felt his immediate concern for her welfare before his own.
“You’re not going to like this,” Krista finally managed to speak. She drew back and he looked at her curiously, his warm, deep blue eyes catching the sunlight that reflected from the snow outside the window and taking her breath away momentarily. She took out her phone and shakily held it out to him, Gordon looked confused as he took it from her hesitantly, then he glanced down at the little screen and Krista watched as his brow began to furrow and his eyes got decidedly colder, the deep blue turning pale as if by magic and she shivered involuntarily. They had changed almost before her very eyes and they now looked so icy, it was utterly frightening..
Krista waited silently, she knew she shouldn’t be afraid of him but the way his eyes had just changed color like that, it really set her nerves on edge. She had seen it happen on television before, but she had merely assumed that it had been a trick of the camera or coincidental lighting fixtures in the right place at the right time. Now, she knew better and it was eerie to say the least. Gordon handed her phone slowly back to her and she instantly turned it off, trying to gauge how he might respond right then.
Gordon stood up and walked off, Krista got to her feet and felt someone snag the crook of her elbow. She turned her head, it was David.
“Best not, love,” David cautioned her quickly and quietly, before heading back over to Iman and sitting down once more.
Krista felt like crying, no.. Not crying, she felt like throwing herself onto the bed and sobbing until there were no more tears left to fall. She knew that Gordon would walk away when his anger threatened to get the better of him, for this she was thankful and could only hope that he returned soon, before some unlucky soul got in his way while he was trying to cool off.
Outside, Gordon wandered off towards the forested area where the snow lay on the ground like an undisturbed white carpet. He leaned against a tree and his knees felt suddenly weak, his hands trembled and he took in some deep breaths, long and slow. He was angry about the story in the news, anyone would be but it was the pain of knowing that Krista had withheld the information from him that had truly set him off and forced him to remove himself from her presence. She had drained the battery from his phone, let him sleep in and then hurried him out the door so he wouldn’t see the newspaper. It wasn’t something he would expect her to do to him, it made very little sense to the furious chef as he tried to calm himself down. He continued walking, too agitated to really concentrate much on where he was going until he finally glanced up and realized he had wandered quite a long distance from the lodge.
He went to grab his phone from his pocket, but then he remembered it wasn’t there and he sighed, the snow had begun to fall softly again, covering his tracks and preventing him from following them back the way he’d come. He swore explicitly under his breath and ran his fingers through his hair, struggling to get his bearings and grateful of his snow gear or else he’d have to also worry about freezing to death. He stared hard at the ground, trying to see if he could spot the telltale tracks of his footprints and he thought that he just barely could make them out but he wasn’t really sure. He glanced at his wristwatch, it would be dark in a few hours so he really needed to come up with a better plan.
Back at the lodge, everyone was ready to go home but Krista could not find Gordon anywhere.
“He’s been gone for hours!” she fretted, “where could he be for so long?”
“I don’t know,” David admitted, “he’s probably wandered into the woods, it’s really coming down thick and fast out there by now. Do you want to see if we can get someone out there looking for him?”
“Yes,” Krista nodded quickly, regretting causing his phone to die now more than ever, “I’ll never forgive myself if something has happened to him!”
David went to find someone in charge, while Iman consoled the high-strung Krista, trying to reassure her that Gordon was smart and would be just fine, but Krista couldn’t help worrying and fearing for his life.
“We will find him,” Iman spoke calmly, rubbing Krista’s back and arm, “you will see. David has told me about what was in the news, we will stick by you both, whatever the fallout.”
Krista was encouraged and thankful of this, normally celebs would distance themselves from any sort of scandal if they could help it but David and Iman, while no different in that area usually, were not budging and were standing firm and true to their loyalty and friendship with the Ramsays.
“Thank you,” Krista sighed softly, “I really appreciate that and so will Gordon, once we find him.”
“That is the spirit,” Iman hugged her again, “don’t worry yourself so much, the snow is settling down and he will be easier to find now.”
Krista glanced out of the window, the snow had stopped falling and she felt relieved but her chest was still tight with anxiety and fear of the unknown.
Outside, Gordon slowly turned around when he heard a soft growling sound to his left and he froze to the spot. There was a huge gray wolf, standing there and staring at him. Gordon swallowed dryly, he was about to see if he could perhaps frighten it off by lunging towards it and shouting, when several other wolves emerged from the trees and began to snarl and growl at him. Gordon dared not take his eyes off them, though he tried to remember which way he should run to the closest tree and hoped that it was easy to climb. He stole a quick glance around himself and realized he was right in the middle of a large clearing, he couldn’t outrun a wolf and the nearest tree was not near enough.
“Damn!” he cursed under his breath, suddenly aware of the wolves now closing in and circling around him, cutting off any and all hope of retreat.
The sound of a helicopter quickly sent the wolves running deeper into the woods, they headed for the mountains and Gordon shielded his eyes as he looked up and squinted. He breathed out a sigh of relief and the pilot indicated that he’d seen Gordon, he would be safe now.
Krista was relieved to be able to throw her arms around his neck and Gordon felt her trembling in his embrace, she’d been so worried about him and he felt instant regret at having wandered off so far from the lodge. He peppered her face with kisses, mumbling soft apologies against her cheeks and ears as he did so, the thought of never seeing her or Savannah again had enabled him to calm down from his fury pretty quickly. Krista forgave him of course, he didn’t set out to get lost on purpose, she felt very lucky to have such a wonderful little family, the thought of losing any of them was utterly terrifying.
“Let’s go home and get you warmed up,” Krista suggested, taking note of his teeth now chattering as it grew steadily darker and much colder. Gordon didn’t argue and they headed back to the car, where Iman and David were waiting for them. They had been very pleased to know Gordon was safe, but thought it best to let he and Krista have a moment to themselves before rushing over to make a fuss of him. Gordon took the attention in his stride, he understood their concern and he was silent for the trip back to the house. Krista thought he’d never cheer up, however he did seem to brighten up after a hot shower and when he’d started to cook dinner.
“Never fails,” Krista smiled to herself. Cooking seemed like work to most people, but Gordon found that it was more like an escape for him, he could focus every bit of his attention on what he was doing and none of his problems could bother him while he was in the zone. Tasting the food, it was impossible to tell that Gordon was distracted or furious at all, it melted in their mouths and their contentment soothed his angry soul. His stomach full and his palate pleased with good tasting food, Gordon ventured outside to sit for a while. Krista went to put little Savannah to bed, giving him his space because she sensed that he wasn’t just angry with Erica just now. His responses to her were short and while his tone wasn’t at all snippy, he wasn’t exactly giving her a warm, fuzzy feeling either. She came out of the bedroom and Iman was waiting for her, looking sympathetic.
“You must talk to him now,” Iman advised, “sometimes giving him space can be a good thing but you need to know when enough is enough. You don’t want him to deal with this alone, he’ll only end up bottling it away and that just isn’t healthy.”
Krista nodded, she would never turn down advice from Iman, she was quite happily married and seemed well versed in the ways of keeping a relationship strong and healthy. Iman touched her shoulder.
“Good luck,” Iman said softly, “and try not to force it, he’ll come around when he’s ready. Just make sure you’re there for him.”
Krista took this to heart as she went outside to stand near Gordon, who had been gazing up at the stars until he’d noticed her and was now looking at Krista curiously.
“What a day, uh?” he spoke first. Krista tried not to but she started to cry and just fell into his embrace the moment he opened his arms. He could have been a lot more hostile towards her, but she just knew he never would.
“I don’t want us to fight!” Krista sobbed into his chest, “I’m sorry, I never should have lied to you.”
Gordon felt badly for being so stiff towards her all evening, he rubbed her back comfortingly and kissed the top of her head.
“Babe, we’re going to be married in a couple of days,” Gordon reminded her gently, “we need to get past this and move on.”
Krista couldn’t have agreed more and she was glad that this wasn’t going to turn into one of those fights that could last for days or weeks. She and Gordon had always been upfront and honest with each other and while they did have their disagreements (it was only natural because they were both quite stubborn at the best of times) they had never actually fought to the point of storming out in tears or throwing things at each other. Gordon refused to allow any situation to escalate in such a way, he’d had enough of it growing up and while training, he had plenty of his fill of shouting at work, he didn’t need more of the same at home. Home was his refuge from such things, the place where he could just relax, goof off and be himself. It bothered him a great deal when something unsettled the harmony of the sanctuary that was his home and his family.
“It’s time to put this whole thing to rest,” Gordon said to her quietly and Krista shivered.
She knew what it would entail and she would stand right there at his side, she just wished it didn’t have to happen around their wedding day. Such conflicted emotions surrounding both events, she wasn’t sure she could cope.
“Should we perhaps delay the wedding?” Krista wondered.
“No,” Gordon refused, “I want to be with you forever and I can’t wait to slip that ring onto your finger and call you my wife.”
He drew back and gazed into her eyes so lovingly, she almost felt that she didn’t deserve him after what she’d done. She leaned up and kissed his lips softly, so he placed his hand at the back of her neck and encouraged her to make out with him. Krista relaxed and sighed, her tongue massaging with his and her hands trailing down over his back. She started to shuffle backwards towards the door, keen to get him to follow her upstairs and into the bed..
*
Erica was sitting in a restaurant with Scotty, he got up and went to the toilet and that’s when Erica suddenly heard the conversation going on in the booth directly behind her. She strained to listen, because Gordon’s name was being mentioned and she wanted to know if her story was being taken seriously. She had been promised front page and got the gossip column instead, the bastards.. There were several women sitting at the booth, giggling and making remarks about the article.
“I think it’s insane!” said a woman named Trudy, “how does Chef Ramsay even have a kid? He’s sooo young and hot!”
“Unf tell me about it, I was shocked!” said her friend Melanie, “and anyway, if it’s Gordon, it’s definitely not rape!”
They all giggled again and Erica’s face burned, she glared at the table and ground her teeth, why were they making fun of her?! She was the victim here, didn’t they care?!
“I feel sorry for that poor little girl though,” said Trudy, “she’s stuck in the middle of it all.”
“Yeah,” Melanie agreed, “I bet she’s cute as a button too.”
“She’s gotta be,” Trudy laughed, “I can’t wait to see if she’s got his eyes!”
“Oh my god I’d die!” Melanie spoke in a shrill tone, “aww how gorgeous is he?”
“He could fuck me any day of the week,” Trudy mused.
“Amen,” Melanie giggled, "everytime he says 'fuck me' I just want to jump into my television set and go for it!"
Erica clawed at her seat with her fingernails, feeling suddenly very apprehensive and regretting going public now. If these women were anything to go by, Gordon would only have to tell the press how neglected and abused Savannah was and everyone would be eating out of his hands. Scotty returned to the table and Erica stood up, grabbing her purse.
“Where are you going?” asked Scotty, “we haven’t eaten yet.”
“I’m suddenly not very hungry,” Erica said grumpily, “you can stay but I’m going home for an early night.”
Scotty nodded, he was starving so Erica headed home by herself and as she approached her car in the parking lot, a group of people surrounded her and kept her from getting into it.
“What do you want?” Erica asked them, looking from face to face wildly, “leave me alone!”
“We don’t like what you said about Chef Ramsay,” a thuggish looking woman stepped forwards, “we’re going to teach you a brutal lesson about fibbing.. Chef hates liars!!“
*
Krista smiled amusedly as Gordon followed her into the bedroom, she knew she could always lure him to bed, whether he was exhausted and being stubborn or not tired yet and keen for sex, she knew most of his weaknesses and had a few tricks up her sleeve.
“Ohh baby.. “ Krista ran her hands over his body, “you’ve been working out more than usual, haven’t you?”
“What’re you talking about?” Gordon laughed, “are you trying to.. Huhh.. “
She had reached his semi erect member and was stroking it firmly, just gently squeezing the head into her palm. Krista watched his eyes flutter and then stare down at her hazily, his breathing sped up a little and became uneven, she had him on the run now and she started to back away, forcing him to follow her up onto the bed. She gave him a coy smile, licking her lips provocatively and raising her eyebrows. Gordon shuffled forwards on his knees and Krista lowered herself down to take him into her mouth, she began to lick and tease first, suckling his tip and teasing precum from it. His soft hums of pleasure aroused her and she began to suck in earnest now, moving her head and relaxing her throat as best she could. Gordon swore and if he wasn’t already on his knees, she easily would have made them buckle.
He was always a pushover for a decent blow job and Krista had learned through trial and error just the exact way he liked it best. Gordon watched her intently, in between shutting his eyes and groaning, thrusting his hips and pleading her to keep going when she paused for breath. Krista continued to stroke his length while she took in a quick breather, not wanting him to feel the need to finish himself off. She reached down, fondling and probing at his soft, sensitive weights. His fingers ran through her hair, cupped the back of her head and she knew he was close.
“Krista.. I’m going to.. “ Gordon breathed heavily, “huhh.. fuuhhuhh.. “
Krista was amazed, he couldn’t even form a single expletive anymore and she soon felt his grip tighten in her hair as he suddenly came down her throat. Krista always felt a sense of smugness and accomplishment when she made Gordon come, she never fully understood why but she enjoyed it and smiled as she carefully withdrew from him, licking her lips in satisfaction. Gordon slumped down into the pillows and closed his eyes, Krista gazed down at him, flustered and in disbelief.
“Oh no you don’t,” she pulled at him, trying to get him to sit up again, “it’s my turn!”
Gordon suddenly lunged at her and she squealed, giggling as he tackled her gently so as not to cause too much distress to her pregnant body. It was still very early and the chance for miscarriage in the first trimester was higher than at any other stage of pregnancy, so he was going to have to be very mindful of this for some months to come yet.
Gordon started by kissing her softly, running his hands over her body sensuously and making her arch in anticipation. Krista whined and moaned, his kisses trailing from her mouth down to her neck and shoulder, then finally to her breasts.
“Ohh babbyy!” Krista called to him softly, feeling his tongue circling her nipple before he blew onto it softly and caused it to harden, “Gordonnn!”
He smiled, closing his eyes and taking the breast into his mouth, keen to savor it because when she was a little bit farther along he’d have to stop until the breastmilk was no longer an issue for him. Far too sweet for him, but then who knows? Maybe he would like it if it came from somebody he loved with his whole heart. Continuing his journey downwards, Gordon lavished her stomach with plenty of kisses and Krista giggled, ticklish and excited. He ran his hand over her tiny, barely 5 week bump and it brought tears to her eyes, because he just gazed at it so lovingly, as if to say ‘that is my baby in there and I love him or her so much already’.
Gordon kissed her inner thighs, using his hands now to sweep his thumbs over them and push them further apart. Krista had never really experienced such intimacy before she met Gordon, it was hard to find someone who took as much pleasure from giving oral as they did receiving it. Her mind was hazy as his tongue located her sweet spots with ease, he had mapped out her entire body within a few weeks and was quite familiar with each and every inch of her.
“Mmm,” his hum of delight sent her into an arch of desire, knowing he was enjoying himself turned her on until she was incredibly aroused.
“Yess!” Krista bucked her hips, “oh.. ohh!”
He was getting hard again, running his hands smoothly around to her rear so he could elevate it and dip his tongue deep inside of her. Krista whined and moaned, his suckling and licking were driving her to the edge and his muffled moans in response to her cries were just making her go over the edge that much faster. Krista felt her thighs shaking, she bucked hard and fast and taking the hint, Gordon targeted her clit exclusively. Krista panted and moaned loudly, her body rocked into orgasm and she encouraged Gordon to fuck her while she was still climaxing. He didn’t argue and was soon plunging into her, the twitching tightness of her inner walls and the way they seemed to massage and pull him further in, it was sheer ecstasy.
“Faster, harder!” Krista insisted and Gordon complied but not too hard or fast because he remembered that he had to be careful.
He pushed her onto her side, thrusting one of her knees up and holding it there while he lay behind her and continued to thrust into her. Krista panted and twisted her upper half right around, meeting his lips with hers and drawing him down into a deep, passionate kiss. His moans got louder, more desperate and she felt him throb and pulse inside of her, the way his body moved and the sudden feeling of hot between her legs indicated that he’d just came. It took them a while to calm after that, kissing and groping one another as they always did. Giving cheeky smiles and naughty giggles, it really was the best way to come down after such an intense climax. Krista stroked his face and looked at his eyes, she could not help but see how soft and deep azure-blue they were. The calm seas before the ice storm, she thought to herself.
“What will you do about the article?” Krista wondered to him, feeling terrible for bringing up such a thing right after she’d managed to get him to calm down.
“Nothing,” Gordon answered her quietly, “it’s just gossip darling.”
Krista nodded, relieved that he wasn’t going to have to endure invasive and personal questions at a press conference or feel the need to push Savannah out there into the public eye if he wasn’t comfortable in doing so just yet.
“I’m glad,” Krista encouraged his mature approach to the situation, it’d do them no good to draw attention to it if nobody was making a huge deal about it.
“I might make some sort of formal statement of course,” Gordon explained, “I can have someone else do it for me though.”
“Will you mention the abuse?” Krista asked him carefully, knowing the subject was a sensitive one.
“Not unless I have no other choice,” Gordon replied tiredly, “I don’t want her to get beaten to a bloody pulp, now that her face is splashed all over the bloody news.”
Krista nodded, it made sense to her that he’d want to protect someone from getting hurt if he could, even if it was Erica. They weren’t aware of it just then, but as they cuddled up and fell asleep in each other’s arms, Erica was slowly dragging her badly beaten self to the hospital. And her claim? Well, the tabloids the next morning were screaming the headlines: “Gordon Ramsay hired goons to shut me up!”
David was the first to awaken and noticed it immediately, shaking his head and furrowing his brow.
“What is it darling?” Iman asked him, sipping her coffee that David had brought in for her.
“It’s that crackpot ex-girlfriend of Gordon’s,” David replied, “she’s at it again!”
Iman looked worriedly at her husband.
“He’s going to have to say something,” Iman said firmly, “or she will just keep doing this until she ruins him, you know that, don’t you?”
David nodded, he knew it well.
“I’ll talk to him after breakfast,” David promised, “I really do feel badly for him, though. This is supposed to be a holiday for him and his family, they’re going to be married in a day or two and now this happens.”
“I agree the timing is awful,” Iman said quietly, “but I am certain that once he makes his statement, this will all blow over.”
David looked back down at the article, it had made page three rather than the gossip column this time and that could only mean Erica had become more than just a casual interest on a slow news day by now.
“Damn,” he grumbled, for even if Gordon mentioned the abuse now, he might not get people on his side because of the claims against him for abusing Erica in more ways than one.
Gordon was still asleep when Krista woke up, she gazed at him for a long time and finally had to just touch his peacefully resting face. He shifted and grunted, blinking open his eyes and looking at her half asleep and drowsy. Krista was certain that if they ever did have a big fight, all he would have to do is wake up beside her and she’d go all soft on him.
“Morning babe,” he mumbled, eyes closing once more. Krista leaned down and kissed his cheek, causing him to smile and open his eyes again.
“Good morning honey,” she grinned at him.
“Mmm, how are you feeling today?” Gordon slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“I’m fine,” Krista looked confused, he was the one who had got the bad news so why was he concerned about how she felt?
“Good,” Gordon cleared his throat, “I might get an early start.”
He kissed her lips briefly and wandered off for the bathroom.
“Gordon! You’re still naked!” Krista called but he was already out the door.
She sighed and bit her bottom lip, shrugging and snuggling back down into the warm blankets, it had snowed all night and it was freezing!
Gordon went into the bathroom and started the shower running, looking over to the sink where David was now cleaning his teeth.
“Sorry, didn’t see you there,” Gordon apologized.
“No problem,” David set down his toothbrush and began to floss, inching closer to the mirror, “bit nippy this morning.”
“Yeah, fancy a jog?” Gordon wondered.
David turned around and laughed, shaking his head.
“You still do that?” David asked him.
“Yeah,” Gordon nodded, “can’t you tell?”
“I noticed,” David have a coy smile and turned back to the mirror, “ah but I have to do a lot of work this morning.”
“Work? Aren’t you supposed to be on holiday?” Gordon stepped into the shower and began to wash himself.
“Intermittently,” David responded idly, “it’s one of my favorite ways to make an album. A change of scenery always inspires me.”
“Sounds alright,” Gordon rinsed his hair.
It went quiet and David eventually left the bathroom, he had to talk to Gordon seriously about the article but not in the bathroom. Gordon washed his hair and got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and walking back to the bedroom. Krista smiled at him as he wandered in, dropping the towel to tease her as he shut the door.
“Ohh baby.. “ Krista purred, sitting up suddenly, “c’mere.. “
Gordon grinned at her cheekily and Savannah started to call for Krista.
“I’ve got to go for a run anyway, darling,” Gordon said regretfully, “I’ll see you at breakfast.”
He got dressed and kissed her cheek, then he went out and Krista looked a little confused as to why he would go out for jog straight after taking a shower..
Gordon left the house and began to jog around the block, but then he stopped by a tree and leaned against it for a moment. He felt his chest tightening and found it difficult to breathe, so he sat down and tried to calm himself. It was a strange sensation, probably just a panic attack, he’d be alright in a minute. He was just under a lot of pressure and too much stress right now, he needed to vent and there just wasn’t anywhere safe around for him to do it. He wanted to punch the ground, or maybe the tree but he kept it bottled up and held it in, slowly getting back up onto his feet and continuing on his way. By the time he got back and had jumped back into the shower for a brief rinse, Gordon had pushed aside his concerns and focused on what he was supposed to be doing to help Krista finalize their wedding arrangements. He hurried downstairs to breakfast, David wasn’t too bad a cook and the discussion was light hearted as he sat down and kissed Krista on the cheek.
It was afterwards that really put a damper on Gordon’s spirit, as David took him aside and they went upstairs to sit together in David’s office. David quietly told Gordon about the new article, his tone was serious and his expression sympathetic yet supportive. Gordon ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily, burying his face into his hands and shaking his head. Was this nightmare ever going to end?
“I’ll do whatever I can of course,” David said firmly.
“Thank you,” Gordon said, appreciatively.
David put his hand on Gordon’s shoulder and Krista knocked softly, the door was open already and she slowly walked in. David got up and politely left them to it.
“Gordon?” Krista spoke softly. Gordon got up and walked over to the window, Krista frowned and approached him.
“Are you alright?” she asked.
Iman had filled her in and she had come up to check on him.
“I just need a minute,” Gordon said quietly.
“We can get through this,” Krista came closer, “Gordon.. “
“I said get out!” he snapped at her and Krista jumped in fright.
Her eyes widened and she backed away, he’d never shouted at her like that before, not ever, not even once..
“I-I’ll come back when you’ve calmed down,” she said to him, fighting back the tears in her eyes and turning sharply.
She left him there and Gordon sighed, staring out of the window and closing his eyes, a couple of tears slid down his face and he instantly regretted opening his mouth just now.
Krista ran to the bathroom and locked herself inside, she closed the lid of the toilet and sat down upon it, just sobbing heavily into her palms as she buried her face in them. Her chest was heaving and her heart was in pain, her eyes were puffy and her head began to throb. She and Gordon had disagreed before but this was the first time he had ever actually shouted at her like that, with his flashing eyes and screwed up face full of contempt. He generally reserved that expression for the TV shows, she never actually believed he was capable of making in earnest and certainly not directing at her.
Iman knocked softly on the bathroom door, calling gently for Krista to please open the door. She wiped her eyes and stood up, slowly approaching the door and unlocking it so Iman could enter, which she did and immediately hugged Krista.
“Are you alright, you poor thing?” Iman asked quietly, “oh honey, I’m so sorry.. I heard the shout from downstairs but I only came running because I thought David was making a nuisance of himself.. I never thought you’d be the one Gordon was shouting at.. “
Krista cried harder, shaking her head and just feeling so much more hurt.
“I know he’s going through alot right now,” Krista admitted, “I shouldn’t be so upset, he didn’t mean it, right?”
“Of course he didn’t,” Iman soothed her, “but it’s still not an excuse, he should apologize to you when he’s calmed down.”
“I just got so scared, Iman,” Krista shook all over her body, “I will never laugh at those poor contestants ever again!”
Iman rubbed Krista’s back comfortingly, easily prepared to stay there for as long as Krista needed.
*
Back in the other room, Gordon was clawing at the wooden window frame but he didn’t leave any marks on it, this was not his home and he was respectful of other people’s property. His head was hung low, ashamed of his sudden outburst at the one person he should be pulling closer to himself instead of pushing away. Krista had stuck with Gordon through his worst days, she had been there when nobody else wanted to have anything to do with him. She had supported and encouraged him to get off the floor and start looking up, she was the reason he’d not been found dead in his apartment a long time ago, possibly from choking on his own puke. She’d saved his life, perhaps without even realizing it and she’d never asked him for anything in return because she knew he was almost penniless and she’d even offered him a room. Gordon felt terrible, how could he have snapped at her?
Erica was the one he was pissed at, but she wasn’t here and he’d just lashed out at the love of his life.
“Fucking arsehole,” he grumbled to himself and he meant it, too.
His first instinct was to run, just turn away from the situation and hide, go down to the nearest bar and drink himself into a stupor. But of course, his mind didn’t work that way anymore, he knew the end results of such behavior and didn’t particularly want to go back there again. He was a big, strong and easily intimidating man but when he was drunk, he was reduced to almost infancy and needed looking after.
This was generally when he found out who his real friends were, if he happened to be with the wrong ones at the time well, he often woke up with serious regrets and his head in the toilet, alone and shaking. Gordon lifted his head, his logical thinking whirring back in to take over his more impulsive thoughts and he knew he had to apologize to Krista as soon as possible. He turned around and walked out of the room, but he wasn’t sure where she would be so he went downstairs and found David keeping the toddlers entertained.
David glanced up, still grinning from being amused at Lexi and Savannah’s giggles and gurgles.
“Is Krista around?” Gordon asked, ashamed of himself for even needing to ask.
“She hasn’t come down,” David responded calmly, “though I saw Iman pass me by on my way down the stairs, I daresay she’s up there with Krista.”
“Alright,” Gordon glanced at the stairs, so long as she wasn’t alone.
“David,” Gordon suddenly looked back down at his friend, “would you really come with me? To make that statement?”
“Of course,” David replied without hesitation.
“Thanks,” Gordon said honestly, “I appreciate it, I really do.”
David couldn’t possibly have an inkling of how much his support actually meant to Gordon, but David had been through this kind of shit before and he knew how to handle it without a bigger fuss being made out of things.
“I’ve got your back, son,” David promised him quietly, “don’t give it another thought.”
In his younger days, trouble was David’s middle name and he saw a lot of himself in Gordon at times.
“Thank you,” Gordon sighed with relief, he really didn’t want to have to face this alone, “I’d better go find Krista.. “
“Yes,” David said firmly with a short nod, “you’d better.”
Gordon walked back upstairs and listened carefully, he heard the sound of soft talking coming from the bathroom and he moved to stand just outside of the door. He cleared his throat, announcing his presence politely before he knocked on it softly. Krista and Iman glanced up at the door as Gordon made his presence known to them, Iman stood to her feet and smiled reassuringly at Krista.
“Be strong now,” she said firmly, “forgive him, Krista, but don’t let him get away with it.”
Krista nodded, wiping her eyes as Iman turned and quietly slipped out of the bathroom. Gordon looked around the door and Krista couldn’t help but bite back a smile at his hangdog expression.
“You can come in,” she said softly, sniffling and using some tissues to clear up her face a little. Gordon crept in and closed the door behind him, turning to look at her again. It took every ounce of her willpower not to just jump up and hug him, she was the one who needed comforting now, not Gordon.
“Krista, I’m sorry,” Gordon started with the obvious part, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you, darling.”
“But you did,” Krista wasn’t going to let him off so easily, “Gordon, you really frightened me.”
Gordon could see the way she was shaking all over again and he knelt down by her feet now, almost groveling there as his big blue eyes stared up at her pleadingly.
“Can you forgive me?” he asked her softly. Krista looked down at him and she did want to forgive him, oh but how could she?
“I don’t know,” she spoke with complete honesty, turning her eyes reluctantly away from his. Gordon waited patiently for a while, then he sat back and started to feel as though she was taking this whole thing a bit too far. He had only snapped at her briefly, it wasn’t like he had screamed at her and kicked something over, or thrown anything at her.
“Babe, I’m going to make a statement soon,” he said quietly, “it’s going to be alright.”
Krista felt more tears stinging into her eyes.
“You just don’t understand, do you?” she asked him, turning her gaze back to meet with his, “I know you can fix this thing with Erica, Gordon. I honestly believe in your capabilities and you have great friends who can back you up but this isn’t about that. This is about us.. “
Gordon’s puzzled expression only hurt Krista more, she needed him to get it but it just didn’t seem to be sinking in.
“Please,” Krista begged with him, “Gordon, tell me you know what I’m going on about?”
He remained silent, she could see him trying to figure it out and gave him some time to work on it, silently and patiently waiting for it to finally click. When it became obvious to her that he wasn’t following, Krista sighed and decided she would have to spell it out for him.
“Gordon you shouted at me,” she said firmly, “you don’t do that to someone you love.”
“It was just a little snap, darling,” Gordon inched closer to her on his knees, “it was nothing.”
“Maybe to you,” Krista bit back angrily, “but it was damn terrifying for me, Gordon!”
She stood up and pushed at him, unexpectedly he fell backwards and Krista stormed out of the bathroom. Gordon sat up and rubbed the back of his head where it had hit the tiles, he hadn’t been thinking she would actually get physical or violent with him, he’d only wanted to make it up to her but she just wouldn’t let him. He sat there, a little dazed and more than just a little confused, where had he gone wrong? Why wasn’t she accepting his apology?
Krista went to the bedroom and lay down on the bed, hugging her pillows tightly and facing away from the door. She couldn’t understand why she wasn’t just happy that he’d come to his senses and stopped being nasty in such a quick amount of time. She was actually quite proud of him for that, because she knew what he was like once before and he certainly had come a long way since then. So why couldn’t she just let go of this angry feeling inside of her? It didn’t make any sense to her, but she kept getting images of Gordon snapping at the baby and shouting at Savannah. It was a fearful thought, was she even ready to be a mother right now? Could she handle a newborn baby? Would Gordon stick around to help her out or would he be too busy doing his own thing and leave it all up to her?
She started to cry again, she felt so stupid and she wanted to just stop but she couldn’t help it.
Gordon slowly picked himself up off the floor, the urge to flee was stronger than ever and yet he felt drawn to follow Krista to the bedroom. She was aware that he had come silently into the room, but she didn’t turn to face him.
“Krista,” he spoke first.
“Go away, please.. “ she said softly, “I need to be alone right now, Gordon.”
“But I don’t,” Gordon said quietly, “don’t do that to me, baby, please. You know I can’t take it.. “
“Oh, you can’t take being alone?” Krista scoffed, “you can go away for a week or a month but you can’t take being alone? Who sleeps with you in your hotel bed then, huh?”
“That’s not fair,” Gordon furrowed his brow at her, “you know I sleep by myself darling and you know I have to work.. “
Krista did not respond and Gordon set his jaw as he turned and left the room, he was starting to get riled up and he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice in one day. He went downstairs and sat down on the sofa, pulling Savannah up onto his lap. She nuzzled his chest and yawned, ready for her nap.
“How’d it go?” David asked him, “she’s okay to go to sleep, I’ve already fed them both.”
“Thanks,” Gordon sighed tiredly, “it didn’t go so great, she won’t listen to me.”
Iman was standing nearby, but she soon left the room and headed back upstairs to find Krista. She adored the woman and David loved Gordon, these two were such a great couple and they were clearly made for each other, so this was going to be fixed somehow, one way or another.
“What did you say?” David asked.
“I said I was sorry,” Gordon replied, “what more is there?”
“Nothing mate,” David shook his head, “that should have been plenty enough to get the ball rolling at least.”
“Well it wasn’t,” Gordon sighed, “I just can’t understand it, am I really that bloody scary?”
David smiled faintly at him, he’d seen kids dress up as Gordon for Halloween but he decided that perhaps now wasn’t the right time to tease him about that.
“What are you going to do?” David wondered instead.
“I’m not sure yet,” Gordon replied honestly, “but I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do, I’m not going to give up. I love her, David.. I’m a fucking slave to that and it is killing me inside to have her so angry with me.”
“I know the feeling,” David sympathized, “I seriously do. Women just don’t seem to realize the power they can hold over guys like us.”
Gordon nodded, he certainly hoped this was true or else women were a lot more manipulative than he wanted to believe.
Iman found Krista on her bed and sat beside her, rubbing her back.
“What went wrong, hm?” Iman asked, “didn’t he say he was sorry?”
“He did, but that wasn’t it,” Krista sat up and looked at her worriedly, “Iman, I keep thinking he’s going to hurt the baby or shout at Savannah.. If he’s going to scream at me, what’s stopping him from doing it to them? What if he hurts them? What if - !!”
“Shh.. “ Iman embraced the now sobbing woman, “it’s alright, take a few deep breaths and listen to Iman.. “
Krista nodded and tried to stifle her sobs.
“What you’re feeling is completely normal,” Iman told her, “you’re insecure and while I hate to play the hormonal card, I’m afraid this is one of those times where the blame needs to be placed squarely upon it. Your body is going through such rapid and radical changes right now, you’ve never been pregnant before Krista but I have. Alexandria wasn’t my first child, so trust me when I tell you that I know what I’m talking about, alright?”
Krista nodded again, pulling back and looking at Iman’s gentle smile, it made her feel much better.
“So, I’m not being irrational because he shouted at me?” Krista asked softly.
“It may have triggered the feelings,” Iman replied wisely, “but you can overcome them. Gordon is a good man, you know that in your heart.”
“I do,” Krista agreed, “he’s never done anything to make me doubt that before, I don’t know why I’m blowing this all out of proportion.”
“It’ll take some getting used to,” Iman warned her, “but you must always talk to somebody about it when you feel this way, don’t bottle it up and hold it inside of you. It will only do more harm than good.”
“Thank you,” Krista smiled sadly, “you and David are so good to Gordon and I.. “
“We love you both very much,” Iman touched Krista’s cheek affectionately, “we were young too, once. We know the struggles and if we can help you to avoid the bigger obstacles then we will certainly do our best to help. You need only ask, Krista. We will always be there.”
Krista sighed and relaxed her shoulders.
“I think it’s my turn to apologize, huh?” Krista spoke sheepishly.
Iman smiled broadly, nodding slowly and standing up to walk with Krista back down to the living room.
David glanced up as the women walked into the living room and he placed his finger to his lips, they crept in and looked around the sofa at Gordon, who was asleep with Savannah curled up on his chest.
“Aww,” Iman smiled, “isn’t that cute?”
“It’s not like Gordon to fall asleep during the day,” Krista worried a little, unable to resist feeling his forehead for a temperature but he felt alright.
“Probably the stress, love,” David told her, “will you let him sleep?”
“He’ll have my guts if I do,” Krista looked warily at Gordon.
“Tough choice,” Iman said thoughtfully.
Krista sat beside Gordon and tried to take Savannah gently from him, so she could put the toddler to bed but the instant Savannah moved just a little, Gordon’s eyes snapped open and his arms embraced the little girl protectively. He looked around at Krista and blinked a few times, finally surrendering the child into her arms and sitting back again to try and recompose himself.
“How long was I out?” he frowned at his wrist watch.
“Just a minute,” David reassured him.
“Oh, good.. “ Gordon looked relieved, “I’m too busy today to take naps.”
He stood up and hesitated, Krista looked at him apologetically and kissed his cheek softly.
“We’ll talk tonight,” she promised him, “everything’s okay, I promise.”
Gordon smiled at her, she could tell it had lifted a huge weight from his shoulders already and David got to his feet.
“Ready?” David grabbed up his car keys.
“Yeah,” Gordon nodded to him, “let’s do this.”
“Please look after him, David,” Iman said softly.
“I will,” David said firmly, “don’t worry.”
He kissed her, deeply and passionately and Krista thought they’d never stop, but they eventually parted and David headed out after Gordon.
Krista looked at Iman, who was gathering Lexi up into her arms.
“Let’s put them to bed,” Iman suggested, “and watch a movie.”
“Ugh, Gordon makes the best popcorn,” Krista smiled as they walked to the girls’ bedroom.
“Pity he’s not here then,” Iman sympathized, “David is really coming along with his cooking since he and Gordon got back in touch.”
“Oh yeah?” Krista lay Savannah down, “what could he do before?”
“Burn water, that’s what,” Iman giggled.
“That’s a special kind of talent,” Krista chuckled, “how’d he manage that?”
“He just gets sidetracked very easily,” Iman replied, “no attention span, not unless he really concentrates.”
“Oh gosh,” Krista laughed quietly as they crept out of the bedroom, “he’s such a sweetheart though.”
“He is,” Iman agreed, “but he isn’t always so chipper, David suffers from depression and he needs a lot of love and affection and constant reassurance. I don’t want you to think that we are without our difficulties, Krista. We make it work because we are deeply in love and I can see that between you and Gordon.”
“I had no idea,” Krista looked at Iman with gratitude, “thank you. I know it must be hard for you guys to let people in.”
“Sometimes, yes,” Iman nodded, “we do enjoy our privacy these days, but I know we can trust you. Now, what do you want to watch?”
“Labyrinth,” Krista teased and Iman laughed amusedly.
“We do have that actually!” Iman smiled broadly, “oh alright, let’s watch it then.”
So they settled in to watch the film and Krista tried not to giggle too much, but Iman didn’t and they both ended up nudging each other whenever David’s scenes came up and his crotch seemed to steal the show.
*
“How do you think they’re doing?” Krista wondered, starting to worry about Gordon as the film ended, “oh I hope everything works out okay.”
“I’m sure they’re fine,” Iman reassured her, “would you like me to call David and find out what’s happening?”
“Alright,” Krista agreed, “it’s the not knowing and the waiting that gets to me.”
“Well I need to check in on David anyway,” Iman smiled, taking out her phone, “I know he can’t go for long without hearing my voice, it relaxes him.”
Krista smiled, they were so cute together and she really hoped things were alright with the guys. Iman looked curiously at her phone after a while and Krista lifted her brow, wondering what could be the matter.
“That’s strange,” Iman tried again, holding the phone back to her ear once more.
“What is?” Krista asked, suddenly worried again.
“David never lets me get to voice mail,” Iman frowned again as her husband failed to answer a second time, “something isn’t right.. “
****
(page 7: http://luv-bowie-luver.livejournal.com/56837.html)
***
“Darling, do you know what’s happened to my phone?” Gordon asked curiously. It was nearly lunchtime and everyone was up and about, getting ready to go out for a ski at the nearby lodge. Gordon was trying to access his phone, but it wouldn’t even switch on.
“No idea,” Krista spoke quickly, damning herself for lying to him but for some reason he did not catch her out, “do hurry or we’ll be late!”
“Huh.. “ Gordon threw his phone down onto the kitchen counter and left it there, “oh well. I’ll see if it’ll charge when we get back.”
David looked at Krista knowingly, she slowed down as she passed by him and he gently snagged her arm.
“Odd time for a phone to die,” David said quietly.
“You know?” Krista breathed nervously.
“I read the paper,” David said firmly.
“It’s in the paper!?” Krista panicked more, “oh God.. “
“Relax,” David reassured her, “it wasn’t exactly front page headlines.. It was in the gossip column.”
"What were you doing reading the gossip column?" Krista teased him gently.
David laughed quietly.
"I always say, if you haven't got anything nice to say about someone, come and sit next to me!" he told her amusedly, his grin fading only slightly due to the seriousness of the situation.
Krista smiled but sighed softly, running her fingers worriedly through her hair.
“So what happens now?” she wondered.
“Well,” David lifted his gaze to ensure Gordon wasn’t about to interrupt them, “he won’t come away from this smelling of roses, but he can opt for a press conference to clear up the facts.”
“And that’ll help?” Krista asked him pointedly.
“It won’t hurt,” David replied vaguely, “come on, we’d better get moving.”
He shifted away from her just as Gordon approached them, Krista looked up and Gordon smiled at her a little, looking curiously from her to David and back again.
“Something wrong?” Gordon wondered.
“Uhm.. “ Krista’s voice shook a little and her eyes darted to David, but he was still walking away and didn’t turn back. Gordon looked less amused now, his expression turning almost serious.
“Babe?” he prompted her.
“It’s not important right now,” Krista replied, not wanting to ruin what could potentially be a wonderful day out, “can we just go?”
Gordon sized her up for a moment and she held her breath, then he just smiled broadly at her and pulled her close to him.
“You are a funny, little thing sometimes,” he said amusedly, ruffling her hair and kissing her cheek with a laugh when she squealed in protest and swatted his hand away.
*
Watching David trying to teach Gordon how to ski was hilarious, Gordon kept falling over and in turn, David would sink to his knees in laughter. It eventually turned into a half hearted snowball fight, with Gordon stuffing snow down David’s back when he finally caught him and dragged him to the ground.
“Gordon! Be careful!” Krista shouted across the snowy ground, wobbling as Iman grabbed her arm and held her steady, she was learning too but was making a bit more progress because she wasn’t goofing off like the men had been all day long.
“It’s alright,” Iman reassured Krista, “David’s a big boy, he can handle a little rough housing.”
“He’s so much smaller in stature though,” Krista worried, “what if he gets hurt?”
“Trust me,” Iman spoke knowingly, “my David is tougher than he looks.”
She turned and continued on down the slope, Krista hoped she knew what she was talking about and followed her slowly, glancing back at the men once more and then continuing on after Iman. Lexi and Savannah were playing in the snow nearby, the slope was a small one for beginners and so they wouldn’t be able to go out of sight of their parents very easily.
“Fuck, that was freezing!” David shook the snow out of his clothes, “I can’t feel my back at all.. “
Gordon got up as well, shaking himself off a little and dusting the snow from his hair.
“Yeah well, I can hardly feel my arse,” Gordon complained with a grin, “how much did you manage to pack down there? Fuckin’ hell!”
David laughed a little harder as Gordon tried to discreetly scoop the snow from his pants and Gordon tried to tell him to shut up but dissolved into laughter himself in the end.
Back inside the lodge, they all drank some hot chocolate to warm up and admit to one another how much fun they’d had. Skiing had a romantic place in David and Iman’s hearts, they constantly held hands, smiled and kissed at every opportunity and Krista adored them for the way they behaved like newlyweds despite having been married for a long, long time. She gazed at Gordon, who was squeezing her thigh while he talked to some guy sitting close to him about the benefits of fennel and lemongrass on whatever dish the guy had queried him about. Krista hadn’t really been listening, her thoughts drifting back to that news piece and her heart skipping a beat as she tried to find the right way to tell Gordon about it.
She had no idea how he’d react, she knew that the longer she left it the more damage she might cause, but could she honestly destroy such an amazing holiday with such a shitty piece of information? Did she really want to look back on the photos of this trip (not to mention their wedding pictures!) and see that faraway look in Gordon’s eyes, as he thought distractedly about the headlines and forced a smile to his face just for the sake of the camera? She had to hand it to David, he was as cool as a cucumber and didn’t even seem remotely phased or look anything at all like he might be harboring such a secret. David would eventually tell Gordon if Krista did not, he was too good a friend to let one of his best mates down like that but he was giving her the opportunity to get in first. She looked at Gordon again, he was going to be a billionaire someday, she was certain of it and this would not be the only incident he would have to face. Might as well get it over with, it wasn’t just going to magically disappear all on it’s own.
“Gordon,” Krista spoke up and was quick to notice David ushering Iman away, leaving them alone to talk. Gordon turned away from the fan he was chatting with and gave her his complete attention.
“What’s the matter darling?” he asked her with concern in both his tone and expression, “you look pale.”
He was staring at her with such affection, love and worry, Krista hated to have to be the one to break the bad news to him. She touched his face and stroked his cheek softly, her bottom lip trembling and she snuggled up into his offered embrace.
“Hey,” Gordon consoled her gently, “what’s got you so upset sweetheart? Is it the baby?”
“No,” Krista let him know immediately, “no it’s not the baby.”
Gordon hugged her tighter.
“Whatever it is,” he assured her, rubbing her back and letting her cuddle up into him more, “I’ll fix it, I promise babe.”
Krista rubbed her cheek against his shirt, feeling his broad, muscular chest through the fabric and sighing deeply, relaxing into his arms. Even as she prepared to tell him his bad news, he was thinking only of her and promising to make it better. Selfless, it was a word she often used to describe him and she felt it right now, no matter what was happening, she always felt his immediate concern for her welfare before his own.
“You’re not going to like this,” Krista finally managed to speak. She drew back and he looked at her curiously, his warm, deep blue eyes catching the sunlight that reflected from the snow outside the window and taking her breath away momentarily. She took out her phone and shakily held it out to him, Gordon looked confused as he took it from her hesitantly, then he glanced down at the little screen and Krista watched as his brow began to furrow and his eyes got decidedly colder, the deep blue turning pale as if by magic and she shivered involuntarily. They had changed almost before her very eyes and they now looked so icy, it was utterly frightening..
Krista waited silently, she knew she shouldn’t be afraid of him but the way his eyes had just changed color like that, it really set her nerves on edge. She had seen it happen on television before, but she had merely assumed that it had been a trick of the camera or coincidental lighting fixtures in the right place at the right time. Now, she knew better and it was eerie to say the least. Gordon handed her phone slowly back to her and she instantly turned it off, trying to gauge how he might respond right then.
Gordon stood up and walked off, Krista got to her feet and felt someone snag the crook of her elbow. She turned her head, it was David.
“Best not, love,” David cautioned her quickly and quietly, before heading back over to Iman and sitting down once more.
Krista felt like crying, no.. Not crying, she felt like throwing herself onto the bed and sobbing until there were no more tears left to fall. She knew that Gordon would walk away when his anger threatened to get the better of him, for this she was thankful and could only hope that he returned soon, before some unlucky soul got in his way while he was trying to cool off.
Outside, Gordon wandered off towards the forested area where the snow lay on the ground like an undisturbed white carpet. He leaned against a tree and his knees felt suddenly weak, his hands trembled and he took in some deep breaths, long and slow. He was angry about the story in the news, anyone would be but it was the pain of knowing that Krista had withheld the information from him that had truly set him off and forced him to remove himself from her presence. She had drained the battery from his phone, let him sleep in and then hurried him out the door so he wouldn’t see the newspaper. It wasn’t something he would expect her to do to him, it made very little sense to the furious chef as he tried to calm himself down. He continued walking, too agitated to really concentrate much on where he was going until he finally glanced up and realized he had wandered quite a long distance from the lodge.
He went to grab his phone from his pocket, but then he remembered it wasn’t there and he sighed, the snow had begun to fall softly again, covering his tracks and preventing him from following them back the way he’d come. He swore explicitly under his breath and ran his fingers through his hair, struggling to get his bearings and grateful of his snow gear or else he’d have to also worry about freezing to death. He stared hard at the ground, trying to see if he could spot the telltale tracks of his footprints and he thought that he just barely could make them out but he wasn’t really sure. He glanced at his wristwatch, it would be dark in a few hours so he really needed to come up with a better plan.
Back at the lodge, everyone was ready to go home but Krista could not find Gordon anywhere.
“He’s been gone for hours!” she fretted, “where could he be for so long?”
“I don’t know,” David admitted, “he’s probably wandered into the woods, it’s really coming down thick and fast out there by now. Do you want to see if we can get someone out there looking for him?”
“Yes,” Krista nodded quickly, regretting causing his phone to die now more than ever, “I’ll never forgive myself if something has happened to him!”
David went to find someone in charge, while Iman consoled the high-strung Krista, trying to reassure her that Gordon was smart and would be just fine, but Krista couldn’t help worrying and fearing for his life.
“We will find him,” Iman spoke calmly, rubbing Krista’s back and arm, “you will see. David has told me about what was in the news, we will stick by you both, whatever the fallout.”
Krista was encouraged and thankful of this, normally celebs would distance themselves from any sort of scandal if they could help it but David and Iman, while no different in that area usually, were not budging and were standing firm and true to their loyalty and friendship with the Ramsays.
“Thank you,” Krista sighed softly, “I really appreciate that and so will Gordon, once we find him.”
“That is the spirit,” Iman hugged her again, “don’t worry yourself so much, the snow is settling down and he will be easier to find now.”
Krista glanced out of the window, the snow had stopped falling and she felt relieved but her chest was still tight with anxiety and fear of the unknown.
Outside, Gordon slowly turned around when he heard a soft growling sound to his left and he froze to the spot. There was a huge gray wolf, standing there and staring at him. Gordon swallowed dryly, he was about to see if he could perhaps frighten it off by lunging towards it and shouting, when several other wolves emerged from the trees and began to snarl and growl at him. Gordon dared not take his eyes off them, though he tried to remember which way he should run to the closest tree and hoped that it was easy to climb. He stole a quick glance around himself and realized he was right in the middle of a large clearing, he couldn’t outrun a wolf and the nearest tree was not near enough.
“Damn!” he cursed under his breath, suddenly aware of the wolves now closing in and circling around him, cutting off any and all hope of retreat.
The sound of a helicopter quickly sent the wolves running deeper into the woods, they headed for the mountains and Gordon shielded his eyes as he looked up and squinted. He breathed out a sigh of relief and the pilot indicated that he’d seen Gordon, he would be safe now.
Krista was relieved to be able to throw her arms around his neck and Gordon felt her trembling in his embrace, she’d been so worried about him and he felt instant regret at having wandered off so far from the lodge. He peppered her face with kisses, mumbling soft apologies against her cheeks and ears as he did so, the thought of never seeing her or Savannah again had enabled him to calm down from his fury pretty quickly. Krista forgave him of course, he didn’t set out to get lost on purpose, she felt very lucky to have such a wonderful little family, the thought of losing any of them was utterly terrifying.
“Let’s go home and get you warmed up,” Krista suggested, taking note of his teeth now chattering as it grew steadily darker and much colder. Gordon didn’t argue and they headed back to the car, where Iman and David were waiting for them. They had been very pleased to know Gordon was safe, but thought it best to let he and Krista have a moment to themselves before rushing over to make a fuss of him. Gordon took the attention in his stride, he understood their concern and he was silent for the trip back to the house. Krista thought he’d never cheer up, however he did seem to brighten up after a hot shower and when he’d started to cook dinner.
“Never fails,” Krista smiled to herself. Cooking seemed like work to most people, but Gordon found that it was more like an escape for him, he could focus every bit of his attention on what he was doing and none of his problems could bother him while he was in the zone. Tasting the food, it was impossible to tell that Gordon was distracted or furious at all, it melted in their mouths and their contentment soothed his angry soul. His stomach full and his palate pleased with good tasting food, Gordon ventured outside to sit for a while. Krista went to put little Savannah to bed, giving him his space because she sensed that he wasn’t just angry with Erica just now. His responses to her were short and while his tone wasn’t at all snippy, he wasn’t exactly giving her a warm, fuzzy feeling either. She came out of the bedroom and Iman was waiting for her, looking sympathetic.
“You must talk to him now,” Iman advised, “sometimes giving him space can be a good thing but you need to know when enough is enough. You don’t want him to deal with this alone, he’ll only end up bottling it away and that just isn’t healthy.”
Krista nodded, she would never turn down advice from Iman, she was quite happily married and seemed well versed in the ways of keeping a relationship strong and healthy. Iman touched her shoulder.
“Good luck,” Iman said softly, “and try not to force it, he’ll come around when he’s ready. Just make sure you’re there for him.”
Krista took this to heart as she went outside to stand near Gordon, who had been gazing up at the stars until he’d noticed her and was now looking at Krista curiously.
“What a day, uh?” he spoke first. Krista tried not to but she started to cry and just fell into his embrace the moment he opened his arms. He could have been a lot more hostile towards her, but she just knew he never would.
“I don’t want us to fight!” Krista sobbed into his chest, “I’m sorry, I never should have lied to you.”
Gordon felt badly for being so stiff towards her all evening, he rubbed her back comfortingly and kissed the top of her head.
“Babe, we’re going to be married in a couple of days,” Gordon reminded her gently, “we need to get past this and move on.”
Krista couldn’t have agreed more and she was glad that this wasn’t going to turn into one of those fights that could last for days or weeks. She and Gordon had always been upfront and honest with each other and while they did have their disagreements (it was only natural because they were both quite stubborn at the best of times) they had never actually fought to the point of storming out in tears or throwing things at each other. Gordon refused to allow any situation to escalate in such a way, he’d had enough of it growing up and while training, he had plenty of his fill of shouting at work, he didn’t need more of the same at home. Home was his refuge from such things, the place where he could just relax, goof off and be himself. It bothered him a great deal when something unsettled the harmony of the sanctuary that was his home and his family.
“It’s time to put this whole thing to rest,” Gordon said to her quietly and Krista shivered.
She knew what it would entail and she would stand right there at his side, she just wished it didn’t have to happen around their wedding day. Such conflicted emotions surrounding both events, she wasn’t sure she could cope.
“Should we perhaps delay the wedding?” Krista wondered.
“No,” Gordon refused, “I want to be with you forever and I can’t wait to slip that ring onto your finger and call you my wife.”
He drew back and gazed into her eyes so lovingly, she almost felt that she didn’t deserve him after what she’d done. She leaned up and kissed his lips softly, so he placed his hand at the back of her neck and encouraged her to make out with him. Krista relaxed and sighed, her tongue massaging with his and her hands trailing down over his back. She started to shuffle backwards towards the door, keen to get him to follow her upstairs and into the bed..
*
Erica was sitting in a restaurant with Scotty, he got up and went to the toilet and that’s when Erica suddenly heard the conversation going on in the booth directly behind her. She strained to listen, because Gordon’s name was being mentioned and she wanted to know if her story was being taken seriously. She had been promised front page and got the gossip column instead, the bastards.. There were several women sitting at the booth, giggling and making remarks about the article.
“I think it’s insane!” said a woman named Trudy, “how does Chef Ramsay even have a kid? He’s sooo young and hot!”
“Unf tell me about it, I was shocked!” said her friend Melanie, “and anyway, if it’s Gordon, it’s definitely not rape!”
They all giggled again and Erica’s face burned, she glared at the table and ground her teeth, why were they making fun of her?! She was the victim here, didn’t they care?!
“I feel sorry for that poor little girl though,” said Trudy, “she’s stuck in the middle of it all.”
“Yeah,” Melanie agreed, “I bet she’s cute as a button too.”
“She’s gotta be,” Trudy laughed, “I can’t wait to see if she’s got his eyes!”
“Oh my god I’d die!” Melanie spoke in a shrill tone, “aww how gorgeous is he?”
“He could fuck me any day of the week,” Trudy mused.
“Amen,” Melanie giggled, "everytime he says 'fuck me' I just want to jump into my television set and go for it!"
Erica clawed at her seat with her fingernails, feeling suddenly very apprehensive and regretting going public now. If these women were anything to go by, Gordon would only have to tell the press how neglected and abused Savannah was and everyone would be eating out of his hands. Scotty returned to the table and Erica stood up, grabbing her purse.
“Where are you going?” asked Scotty, “we haven’t eaten yet.”
“I’m suddenly not very hungry,” Erica said grumpily, “you can stay but I’m going home for an early night.”
Scotty nodded, he was starving so Erica headed home by herself and as she approached her car in the parking lot, a group of people surrounded her and kept her from getting into it.
“What do you want?” Erica asked them, looking from face to face wildly, “leave me alone!”
“We don’t like what you said about Chef Ramsay,” a thuggish looking woman stepped forwards, “we’re going to teach you a brutal lesson about fibbing.. Chef hates liars!!“
*
Krista smiled amusedly as Gordon followed her into the bedroom, she knew she could always lure him to bed, whether he was exhausted and being stubborn or not tired yet and keen for sex, she knew most of his weaknesses and had a few tricks up her sleeve.
“Ohh baby.. “ Krista ran her hands over his body, “you’ve been working out more than usual, haven’t you?”
“What’re you talking about?” Gordon laughed, “are you trying to.. Huhh.. “
She had reached his semi erect member and was stroking it firmly, just gently squeezing the head into her palm. Krista watched his eyes flutter and then stare down at her hazily, his breathing sped up a little and became uneven, she had him on the run now and she started to back away, forcing him to follow her up onto the bed. She gave him a coy smile, licking her lips provocatively and raising her eyebrows. Gordon shuffled forwards on his knees and Krista lowered herself down to take him into her mouth, she began to lick and tease first, suckling his tip and teasing precum from it. His soft hums of pleasure aroused her and she began to suck in earnest now, moving her head and relaxing her throat as best she could. Gordon swore and if he wasn’t already on his knees, she easily would have made them buckle.
He was always a pushover for a decent blow job and Krista had learned through trial and error just the exact way he liked it best. Gordon watched her intently, in between shutting his eyes and groaning, thrusting his hips and pleading her to keep going when she paused for breath. Krista continued to stroke his length while she took in a quick breather, not wanting him to feel the need to finish himself off. She reached down, fondling and probing at his soft, sensitive weights. His fingers ran through her hair, cupped the back of her head and she knew he was close.
“Krista.. I’m going to.. “ Gordon breathed heavily, “huhh.. fuuhhuhh.. “
Krista was amazed, he couldn’t even form a single expletive anymore and she soon felt his grip tighten in her hair as he suddenly came down her throat. Krista always felt a sense of smugness and accomplishment when she made Gordon come, she never fully understood why but she enjoyed it and smiled as she carefully withdrew from him, licking her lips in satisfaction. Gordon slumped down into the pillows and closed his eyes, Krista gazed down at him, flustered and in disbelief.
“Oh no you don’t,” she pulled at him, trying to get him to sit up again, “it’s my turn!”
Gordon suddenly lunged at her and she squealed, giggling as he tackled her gently so as not to cause too much distress to her pregnant body. It was still very early and the chance for miscarriage in the first trimester was higher than at any other stage of pregnancy, so he was going to have to be very mindful of this for some months to come yet.
Gordon started by kissing her softly, running his hands over her body sensuously and making her arch in anticipation. Krista whined and moaned, his kisses trailing from her mouth down to her neck and shoulder, then finally to her breasts.
“Ohh babbyy!” Krista called to him softly, feeling his tongue circling her nipple before he blew onto it softly and caused it to harden, “Gordonnn!”
He smiled, closing his eyes and taking the breast into his mouth, keen to savor it because when she was a little bit farther along he’d have to stop until the breastmilk was no longer an issue for him. Far too sweet for him, but then who knows? Maybe he would like it if it came from somebody he loved with his whole heart. Continuing his journey downwards, Gordon lavished her stomach with plenty of kisses and Krista giggled, ticklish and excited. He ran his hand over her tiny, barely 5 week bump and it brought tears to her eyes, because he just gazed at it so lovingly, as if to say ‘that is my baby in there and I love him or her so much already’.
Gordon kissed her inner thighs, using his hands now to sweep his thumbs over them and push them further apart. Krista had never really experienced such intimacy before she met Gordon, it was hard to find someone who took as much pleasure from giving oral as they did receiving it. Her mind was hazy as his tongue located her sweet spots with ease, he had mapped out her entire body within a few weeks and was quite familiar with each and every inch of her.
“Mmm,” his hum of delight sent her into an arch of desire, knowing he was enjoying himself turned her on until she was incredibly aroused.
“Yess!” Krista bucked her hips, “oh.. ohh!”
He was getting hard again, running his hands smoothly around to her rear so he could elevate it and dip his tongue deep inside of her. Krista whined and moaned, his suckling and licking were driving her to the edge and his muffled moans in response to her cries were just making her go over the edge that much faster. Krista felt her thighs shaking, she bucked hard and fast and taking the hint, Gordon targeted her clit exclusively. Krista panted and moaned loudly, her body rocked into orgasm and she encouraged Gordon to fuck her while she was still climaxing. He didn’t argue and was soon plunging into her, the twitching tightness of her inner walls and the way they seemed to massage and pull him further in, it was sheer ecstasy.
“Faster, harder!” Krista insisted and Gordon complied but not too hard or fast because he remembered that he had to be careful.
He pushed her onto her side, thrusting one of her knees up and holding it there while he lay behind her and continued to thrust into her. Krista panted and twisted her upper half right around, meeting his lips with hers and drawing him down into a deep, passionate kiss. His moans got louder, more desperate and she felt him throb and pulse inside of her, the way his body moved and the sudden feeling of hot between her legs indicated that he’d just came. It took them a while to calm after that, kissing and groping one another as they always did. Giving cheeky smiles and naughty giggles, it really was the best way to come down after such an intense climax. Krista stroked his face and looked at his eyes, she could not help but see how soft and deep azure-blue they were. The calm seas before the ice storm, she thought to herself.
“What will you do about the article?” Krista wondered to him, feeling terrible for bringing up such a thing right after she’d managed to get him to calm down.
“Nothing,” Gordon answered her quietly, “it’s just gossip darling.”
Krista nodded, relieved that he wasn’t going to have to endure invasive and personal questions at a press conference or feel the need to push Savannah out there into the public eye if he wasn’t comfortable in doing so just yet.
“I’m glad,” Krista encouraged his mature approach to the situation, it’d do them no good to draw attention to it if nobody was making a huge deal about it.
“I might make some sort of formal statement of course,” Gordon explained, “I can have someone else do it for me though.”
“Will you mention the abuse?” Krista asked him carefully, knowing the subject was a sensitive one.
“Not unless I have no other choice,” Gordon replied tiredly, “I don’t want her to get beaten to a bloody pulp, now that her face is splashed all over the bloody news.”
Krista nodded, it made sense to her that he’d want to protect someone from getting hurt if he could, even if it was Erica. They weren’t aware of it just then, but as they cuddled up and fell asleep in each other’s arms, Erica was slowly dragging her badly beaten self to the hospital. And her claim? Well, the tabloids the next morning were screaming the headlines: “Gordon Ramsay hired goons to shut me up!”
David was the first to awaken and noticed it immediately, shaking his head and furrowing his brow.
“What is it darling?” Iman asked him, sipping her coffee that David had brought in for her.
“It’s that crackpot ex-girlfriend of Gordon’s,” David replied, “she’s at it again!”
Iman looked worriedly at her husband.
“He’s going to have to say something,” Iman said firmly, “or she will just keep doing this until she ruins him, you know that, don’t you?”
David nodded, he knew it well.
“I’ll talk to him after breakfast,” David promised, “I really do feel badly for him, though. This is supposed to be a holiday for him and his family, they’re going to be married in a day or two and now this happens.”
“I agree the timing is awful,” Iman said quietly, “but I am certain that once he makes his statement, this will all blow over.”
David looked back down at the article, it had made page three rather than the gossip column this time and that could only mean Erica had become more than just a casual interest on a slow news day by now.
“Damn,” he grumbled, for even if Gordon mentioned the abuse now, he might not get people on his side because of the claims against him for abusing Erica in more ways than one.
Gordon was still asleep when Krista woke up, she gazed at him for a long time and finally had to just touch his peacefully resting face. He shifted and grunted, blinking open his eyes and looking at her half asleep and drowsy. Krista was certain that if they ever did have a big fight, all he would have to do is wake up beside her and she’d go all soft on him.
“Morning babe,” he mumbled, eyes closing once more. Krista leaned down and kissed his cheek, causing him to smile and open his eyes again.
“Good morning honey,” she grinned at him.
“Mmm, how are you feeling today?” Gordon slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“I’m fine,” Krista looked confused, he was the one who had got the bad news so why was he concerned about how she felt?
“Good,” Gordon cleared his throat, “I might get an early start.”
He kissed her lips briefly and wandered off for the bathroom.
“Gordon! You’re still naked!” Krista called but he was already out the door.
She sighed and bit her bottom lip, shrugging and snuggling back down into the warm blankets, it had snowed all night and it was freezing!
Gordon went into the bathroom and started the shower running, looking over to the sink where David was now cleaning his teeth.
“Sorry, didn’t see you there,” Gordon apologized.
“No problem,” David set down his toothbrush and began to floss, inching closer to the mirror, “bit nippy this morning.”
“Yeah, fancy a jog?” Gordon wondered.
David turned around and laughed, shaking his head.
“You still do that?” David asked him.
“Yeah,” Gordon nodded, “can’t you tell?”
“I noticed,” David have a coy smile and turned back to the mirror, “ah but I have to do a lot of work this morning.”
“Work? Aren’t you supposed to be on holiday?” Gordon stepped into the shower and began to wash himself.
“Intermittently,” David responded idly, “it’s one of my favorite ways to make an album. A change of scenery always inspires me.”
“Sounds alright,” Gordon rinsed his hair.
It went quiet and David eventually left the bathroom, he had to talk to Gordon seriously about the article but not in the bathroom. Gordon washed his hair and got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and walking back to the bedroom. Krista smiled at him as he wandered in, dropping the towel to tease her as he shut the door.
“Ohh baby.. “ Krista purred, sitting up suddenly, “c’mere.. “
Gordon grinned at her cheekily and Savannah started to call for Krista.
“I’ve got to go for a run anyway, darling,” Gordon said regretfully, “I’ll see you at breakfast.”
He got dressed and kissed her cheek, then he went out and Krista looked a little confused as to why he would go out for jog straight after taking a shower..
Gordon left the house and began to jog around the block, but then he stopped by a tree and leaned against it for a moment. He felt his chest tightening and found it difficult to breathe, so he sat down and tried to calm himself. It was a strange sensation, probably just a panic attack, he’d be alright in a minute. He was just under a lot of pressure and too much stress right now, he needed to vent and there just wasn’t anywhere safe around for him to do it. He wanted to punch the ground, or maybe the tree but he kept it bottled up and held it in, slowly getting back up onto his feet and continuing on his way. By the time he got back and had jumped back into the shower for a brief rinse, Gordon had pushed aside his concerns and focused on what he was supposed to be doing to help Krista finalize their wedding arrangements. He hurried downstairs to breakfast, David wasn’t too bad a cook and the discussion was light hearted as he sat down and kissed Krista on the cheek.
It was afterwards that really put a damper on Gordon’s spirit, as David took him aside and they went upstairs to sit together in David’s office. David quietly told Gordon about the new article, his tone was serious and his expression sympathetic yet supportive. Gordon ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily, burying his face into his hands and shaking his head. Was this nightmare ever going to end?
“I’ll do whatever I can of course,” David said firmly.
“Thank you,” Gordon said, appreciatively.
David put his hand on Gordon’s shoulder and Krista knocked softly, the door was open already and she slowly walked in. David got up and politely left them to it.
“Gordon?” Krista spoke softly. Gordon got up and walked over to the window, Krista frowned and approached him.
“Are you alright?” she asked.
Iman had filled her in and she had come up to check on him.
“I just need a minute,” Gordon said quietly.
“We can get through this,” Krista came closer, “Gordon.. “
“I said get out!” he snapped at her and Krista jumped in fright.
Her eyes widened and she backed away, he’d never shouted at her like that before, not ever, not even once..
“I-I’ll come back when you’ve calmed down,” she said to him, fighting back the tears in her eyes and turning sharply.
She left him there and Gordon sighed, staring out of the window and closing his eyes, a couple of tears slid down his face and he instantly regretted opening his mouth just now.
Krista ran to the bathroom and locked herself inside, she closed the lid of the toilet and sat down upon it, just sobbing heavily into her palms as she buried her face in them. Her chest was heaving and her heart was in pain, her eyes were puffy and her head began to throb. She and Gordon had disagreed before but this was the first time he had ever actually shouted at her like that, with his flashing eyes and screwed up face full of contempt. He generally reserved that expression for the TV shows, she never actually believed he was capable of making in earnest and certainly not directing at her.
Iman knocked softly on the bathroom door, calling gently for Krista to please open the door. She wiped her eyes and stood up, slowly approaching the door and unlocking it so Iman could enter, which she did and immediately hugged Krista.
“Are you alright, you poor thing?” Iman asked quietly, “oh honey, I’m so sorry.. I heard the shout from downstairs but I only came running because I thought David was making a nuisance of himself.. I never thought you’d be the one Gordon was shouting at.. “
Krista cried harder, shaking her head and just feeling so much more hurt.
“I know he’s going through alot right now,” Krista admitted, “I shouldn’t be so upset, he didn’t mean it, right?”
“Of course he didn’t,” Iman soothed her, “but it’s still not an excuse, he should apologize to you when he’s calmed down.”
“I just got so scared, Iman,” Krista shook all over her body, “I will never laugh at those poor contestants ever again!”
Iman rubbed Krista’s back comfortingly, easily prepared to stay there for as long as Krista needed.
*
Back in the other room, Gordon was clawing at the wooden window frame but he didn’t leave any marks on it, this was not his home and he was respectful of other people’s property. His head was hung low, ashamed of his sudden outburst at the one person he should be pulling closer to himself instead of pushing away. Krista had stuck with Gordon through his worst days, she had been there when nobody else wanted to have anything to do with him. She had supported and encouraged him to get off the floor and start looking up, she was the reason he’d not been found dead in his apartment a long time ago, possibly from choking on his own puke. She’d saved his life, perhaps without even realizing it and she’d never asked him for anything in return because she knew he was almost penniless and she’d even offered him a room. Gordon felt terrible, how could he have snapped at her?
Erica was the one he was pissed at, but she wasn’t here and he’d just lashed out at the love of his life.
“Fucking arsehole,” he grumbled to himself and he meant it, too.
His first instinct was to run, just turn away from the situation and hide, go down to the nearest bar and drink himself into a stupor. But of course, his mind didn’t work that way anymore, he knew the end results of such behavior and didn’t particularly want to go back there again. He was a big, strong and easily intimidating man but when he was drunk, he was reduced to almost infancy and needed looking after.
This was generally when he found out who his real friends were, if he happened to be with the wrong ones at the time well, he often woke up with serious regrets and his head in the toilet, alone and shaking. Gordon lifted his head, his logical thinking whirring back in to take over his more impulsive thoughts and he knew he had to apologize to Krista as soon as possible. He turned around and walked out of the room, but he wasn’t sure where she would be so he went downstairs and found David keeping the toddlers entertained.
David glanced up, still grinning from being amused at Lexi and Savannah’s giggles and gurgles.
“Is Krista around?” Gordon asked, ashamed of himself for even needing to ask.
“She hasn’t come down,” David responded calmly, “though I saw Iman pass me by on my way down the stairs, I daresay she’s up there with Krista.”
“Alright,” Gordon glanced at the stairs, so long as she wasn’t alone.
“David,” Gordon suddenly looked back down at his friend, “would you really come with me? To make that statement?”
“Of course,” David replied without hesitation.
“Thanks,” Gordon said honestly, “I appreciate it, I really do.”
David couldn’t possibly have an inkling of how much his support actually meant to Gordon, but David had been through this kind of shit before and he knew how to handle it without a bigger fuss being made out of things.
“I’ve got your back, son,” David promised him quietly, “don’t give it another thought.”
In his younger days, trouble was David’s middle name and he saw a lot of himself in Gordon at times.
“Thank you,” Gordon sighed with relief, he really didn’t want to have to face this alone, “I’d better go find Krista.. “
“Yes,” David said firmly with a short nod, “you’d better.”
Gordon walked back upstairs and listened carefully, he heard the sound of soft talking coming from the bathroom and he moved to stand just outside of the door. He cleared his throat, announcing his presence politely before he knocked on it softly. Krista and Iman glanced up at the door as Gordon made his presence known to them, Iman stood to her feet and smiled reassuringly at Krista.
“Be strong now,” she said firmly, “forgive him, Krista, but don’t let him get away with it.”
Krista nodded, wiping her eyes as Iman turned and quietly slipped out of the bathroom. Gordon looked around the door and Krista couldn’t help but bite back a smile at his hangdog expression.
“You can come in,” she said softly, sniffling and using some tissues to clear up her face a little. Gordon crept in and closed the door behind him, turning to look at her again. It took every ounce of her willpower not to just jump up and hug him, she was the one who needed comforting now, not Gordon.
“Krista, I’m sorry,” Gordon started with the obvious part, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you, darling.”
“But you did,” Krista wasn’t going to let him off so easily, “Gordon, you really frightened me.”
Gordon could see the way she was shaking all over again and he knelt down by her feet now, almost groveling there as his big blue eyes stared up at her pleadingly.
“Can you forgive me?” he asked her softly. Krista looked down at him and she did want to forgive him, oh but how could she?
“I don’t know,” she spoke with complete honesty, turning her eyes reluctantly away from his. Gordon waited patiently for a while, then he sat back and started to feel as though she was taking this whole thing a bit too far. He had only snapped at her briefly, it wasn’t like he had screamed at her and kicked something over, or thrown anything at her.
“Babe, I’m going to make a statement soon,” he said quietly, “it’s going to be alright.”
Krista felt more tears stinging into her eyes.
“You just don’t understand, do you?” she asked him, turning her gaze back to meet with his, “I know you can fix this thing with Erica, Gordon. I honestly believe in your capabilities and you have great friends who can back you up but this isn’t about that. This is about us.. “
Gordon’s puzzled expression only hurt Krista more, she needed him to get it but it just didn’t seem to be sinking in.
“Please,” Krista begged with him, “Gordon, tell me you know what I’m going on about?”
He remained silent, she could see him trying to figure it out and gave him some time to work on it, silently and patiently waiting for it to finally click. When it became obvious to her that he wasn’t following, Krista sighed and decided she would have to spell it out for him.
“Gordon you shouted at me,” she said firmly, “you don’t do that to someone you love.”
“It was just a little snap, darling,” Gordon inched closer to her on his knees, “it was nothing.”
“Maybe to you,” Krista bit back angrily, “but it was damn terrifying for me, Gordon!”
She stood up and pushed at him, unexpectedly he fell backwards and Krista stormed out of the bathroom. Gordon sat up and rubbed the back of his head where it had hit the tiles, he hadn’t been thinking she would actually get physical or violent with him, he’d only wanted to make it up to her but she just wouldn’t let him. He sat there, a little dazed and more than just a little confused, where had he gone wrong? Why wasn’t she accepting his apology?
Krista went to the bedroom and lay down on the bed, hugging her pillows tightly and facing away from the door. She couldn’t understand why she wasn’t just happy that he’d come to his senses and stopped being nasty in such a quick amount of time. She was actually quite proud of him for that, because she knew what he was like once before and he certainly had come a long way since then. So why couldn’t she just let go of this angry feeling inside of her? It didn’t make any sense to her, but she kept getting images of Gordon snapping at the baby and shouting at Savannah. It was a fearful thought, was she even ready to be a mother right now? Could she handle a newborn baby? Would Gordon stick around to help her out or would he be too busy doing his own thing and leave it all up to her?
She started to cry again, she felt so stupid and she wanted to just stop but she couldn’t help it.
Gordon slowly picked himself up off the floor, the urge to flee was stronger than ever and yet he felt drawn to follow Krista to the bedroom. She was aware that he had come silently into the room, but she didn’t turn to face him.
“Krista,” he spoke first.
“Go away, please.. “ she said softly, “I need to be alone right now, Gordon.”
“But I don’t,” Gordon said quietly, “don’t do that to me, baby, please. You know I can’t take it.. “
“Oh, you can’t take being alone?” Krista scoffed, “you can go away for a week or a month but you can’t take being alone? Who sleeps with you in your hotel bed then, huh?”
“That’s not fair,” Gordon furrowed his brow at her, “you know I sleep by myself darling and you know I have to work.. “
Krista did not respond and Gordon set his jaw as he turned and left the room, he was starting to get riled up and he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice in one day. He went downstairs and sat down on the sofa, pulling Savannah up onto his lap. She nuzzled his chest and yawned, ready for her nap.
“How’d it go?” David asked him, “she’s okay to go to sleep, I’ve already fed them both.”
“Thanks,” Gordon sighed tiredly, “it didn’t go so great, she won’t listen to me.”
Iman was standing nearby, but she soon left the room and headed back upstairs to find Krista. She adored the woman and David loved Gordon, these two were such a great couple and they were clearly made for each other, so this was going to be fixed somehow, one way or another.
“What did you say?” David asked.
“I said I was sorry,” Gordon replied, “what more is there?”
“Nothing mate,” David shook his head, “that should have been plenty enough to get the ball rolling at least.”
“Well it wasn’t,” Gordon sighed, “I just can’t understand it, am I really that bloody scary?”
David smiled faintly at him, he’d seen kids dress up as Gordon for Halloween but he decided that perhaps now wasn’t the right time to tease him about that.
“What are you going to do?” David wondered instead.
“I’m not sure yet,” Gordon replied honestly, “but I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do, I’m not going to give up. I love her, David.. I’m a fucking slave to that and it is killing me inside to have her so angry with me.”
“I know the feeling,” David sympathized, “I seriously do. Women just don’t seem to realize the power they can hold over guys like us.”
Gordon nodded, he certainly hoped this was true or else women were a lot more manipulative than he wanted to believe.
Iman found Krista on her bed and sat beside her, rubbing her back.
“What went wrong, hm?” Iman asked, “didn’t he say he was sorry?”
“He did, but that wasn’t it,” Krista sat up and looked at her worriedly, “Iman, I keep thinking he’s going to hurt the baby or shout at Savannah.. If he’s going to scream at me, what’s stopping him from doing it to them? What if he hurts them? What if - !!”
“Shh.. “ Iman embraced the now sobbing woman, “it’s alright, take a few deep breaths and listen to Iman.. “
Krista nodded and tried to stifle her sobs.
“What you’re feeling is completely normal,” Iman told her, “you’re insecure and while I hate to play the hormonal card, I’m afraid this is one of those times where the blame needs to be placed squarely upon it. Your body is going through such rapid and radical changes right now, you’ve never been pregnant before Krista but I have. Alexandria wasn’t my first child, so trust me when I tell you that I know what I’m talking about, alright?”
Krista nodded again, pulling back and looking at Iman’s gentle smile, it made her feel much better.
“So, I’m not being irrational because he shouted at me?” Krista asked softly.
“It may have triggered the feelings,” Iman replied wisely, “but you can overcome them. Gordon is a good man, you know that in your heart.”
“I do,” Krista agreed, “he’s never done anything to make me doubt that before, I don’t know why I’m blowing this all out of proportion.”
“It’ll take some getting used to,” Iman warned her, “but you must always talk to somebody about it when you feel this way, don’t bottle it up and hold it inside of you. It will only do more harm than good.”
“Thank you,” Krista smiled sadly, “you and David are so good to Gordon and I.. “
“We love you both very much,” Iman touched Krista’s cheek affectionately, “we were young too, once. We know the struggles and if we can help you to avoid the bigger obstacles then we will certainly do our best to help. You need only ask, Krista. We will always be there.”
Krista sighed and relaxed her shoulders.
“I think it’s my turn to apologize, huh?” Krista spoke sheepishly.
Iman smiled broadly, nodding slowly and standing up to walk with Krista back down to the living room.
David glanced up as the women walked into the living room and he placed his finger to his lips, they crept in and looked around the sofa at Gordon, who was asleep with Savannah curled up on his chest.
“Aww,” Iman smiled, “isn’t that cute?”
“It’s not like Gordon to fall asleep during the day,” Krista worried a little, unable to resist feeling his forehead for a temperature but he felt alright.
“Probably the stress, love,” David told her, “will you let him sleep?”
“He’ll have my guts if I do,” Krista looked warily at Gordon.
“Tough choice,” Iman said thoughtfully.
Krista sat beside Gordon and tried to take Savannah gently from him, so she could put the toddler to bed but the instant Savannah moved just a little, Gordon’s eyes snapped open and his arms embraced the little girl protectively. He looked around at Krista and blinked a few times, finally surrendering the child into her arms and sitting back again to try and recompose himself.
“How long was I out?” he frowned at his wrist watch.
“Just a minute,” David reassured him.
“Oh, good.. “ Gordon looked relieved, “I’m too busy today to take naps.”
He stood up and hesitated, Krista looked at him apologetically and kissed his cheek softly.
“We’ll talk tonight,” she promised him, “everything’s okay, I promise.”
Gordon smiled at her, she could tell it had lifted a huge weight from his shoulders already and David got to his feet.
“Ready?” David grabbed up his car keys.
“Yeah,” Gordon nodded to him, “let’s do this.”
“Please look after him, David,” Iman said softly.
“I will,” David said firmly, “don’t worry.”
He kissed her, deeply and passionately and Krista thought they’d never stop, but they eventually parted and David headed out after Gordon.
Krista looked at Iman, who was gathering Lexi up into her arms.
“Let’s put them to bed,” Iman suggested, “and watch a movie.”
“Ugh, Gordon makes the best popcorn,” Krista smiled as they walked to the girls’ bedroom.
“Pity he’s not here then,” Iman sympathized, “David is really coming along with his cooking since he and Gordon got back in touch.”
“Oh yeah?” Krista lay Savannah down, “what could he do before?”
“Burn water, that’s what,” Iman giggled.
“That’s a special kind of talent,” Krista chuckled, “how’d he manage that?”
“He just gets sidetracked very easily,” Iman replied, “no attention span, not unless he really concentrates.”
“Oh gosh,” Krista laughed quietly as they crept out of the bedroom, “he’s such a sweetheart though.”
“He is,” Iman agreed, “but he isn’t always so chipper, David suffers from depression and he needs a lot of love and affection and constant reassurance. I don’t want you to think that we are without our difficulties, Krista. We make it work because we are deeply in love and I can see that between you and Gordon.”
“I had no idea,” Krista looked at Iman with gratitude, “thank you. I know it must be hard for you guys to let people in.”
“Sometimes, yes,” Iman nodded, “we do enjoy our privacy these days, but I know we can trust you. Now, what do you want to watch?”
“Labyrinth,” Krista teased and Iman laughed amusedly.
“We do have that actually!” Iman smiled broadly, “oh alright, let’s watch it then.”
So they settled in to watch the film and Krista tried not to giggle too much, but Iman didn’t and they both ended up nudging each other whenever David’s scenes came up and his crotch seemed to steal the show.
*
“How do you think they’re doing?” Krista wondered, starting to worry about Gordon as the film ended, “oh I hope everything works out okay.”
“I’m sure they’re fine,” Iman reassured her, “would you like me to call David and find out what’s happening?”
“Alright,” Krista agreed, “it’s the not knowing and the waiting that gets to me.”
“Well I need to check in on David anyway,” Iman smiled, taking out her phone, “I know he can’t go for long without hearing my voice, it relaxes him.”
Krista smiled, they were so cute together and she really hoped things were alright with the guys. Iman looked curiously at her phone after a while and Krista lifted her brow, wondering what could be the matter.
“That’s strange,” Iman tried again, holding the phone back to her ear once more.
“What is?” Krista asked, suddenly worried again.
“David never lets me get to voice mail,” Iman frowned again as her husband failed to answer a second time, “something isn’t right.. “
****
(page 7: http://luv-bowie-luver.livejournal.com/56837.html)