im jus a drug head who likes to huff whos hopeless
ya so thats all i am. its all ill ever b. cuz i cant stop n "i dont wana". i fuck up everything. its all i can do. jus fuck up ppls lives. n mine the worse. im jus a failure. i cant make ne one happy. n if i cant start by makin myself happy then its neva gona happen. i always try to make others happy but it jus fucks up sumthin w/sumone else. i jus wana b happy w/myself. n its impossible. pills cant even make me happy. i cant even keep friends cuz i fuck things up w/them too. i duno if i want but mayb 2 friends. cuz i dont wana fuck up ne one elses life. i cant stand fuckin up my own let alone know im fuckin up other ppls too. i shouldn't even have a journal or aim. i should jus stop talkin to everyone so i dont fuck up ne thing else. i jus duno wut to think ne more. i feel like im outa control n i cant do ne thing to help myself. let alone ne one else help me. i wana get away. jus leave. but i cant. i jus need someone who actually cares. someone who loves me no matter wut. but theres no one who does. no one. i cant pretend ne more. i cant act like im happy. it doesnt work. it makes things worse for me. if all i do is fuck things up then i duno y i should bother to care wut i do. cuz no matter wut im fuckin someone in some way. mainly myself. n who cares if i hurt myself. obviously i dont. i could careless. i already have 3 scars. why not add to it. no one noticed b4. n no one really cared. i cant even eat ne more. i make myself sick. mom knos how much i eat usually n she hasnt' even noticed i havnt' been eatin. or she doesnt care. im so drained. all i wana do ne more is sleep. or go out n party. im stuck. n i dont kno wut to do. mayb its true. mayb i am jus a drug head who likes to huff n whos hopeless.