(no subject)
I'm trying REALLY hard not to get upset because it doesn't matter, right? He doesn't HAVE to call me. He's not obligated. I'm not his girlfriend. Am I? I don't know what I am. But wouldn't you think it was a little weird if someone texted/called repeatedly for weeks--always good morning, always good night--and then suddenly just STOPPED?
Does this sound familiar? Remember that time C. did this to me and I called all of the area hospitals totally panicked? I remember sitting in Advanced Magazine Writing and whispering solemnly to the girl sitting next to me: "I have lost my boyfriend." HA. Yes, Emily, you "lost" your boyfriend. Your BOYFRIEND is fucking his "ex"-girlfriend right now while you are worried that he has died. (No disrespect, ex-girlfriend--completely not your fault.)
But HONESTLY? I need to get a freaking grip.
These boyfriends of mine are not DYING...they are LYING.
I thought that if you came from a nurturing household you were attracted to nurturing men. Aren't you supposed to be attracted to people like your dad? Well, first of all--my dad's white. Secondly, HE DOESN'T CHEAT ON HIS WIFE.
(Not that you're cheating on me, Current Man. Not that it would even be cheating if you were. I'm just really damaged and bitter and I'm not sure it will ever go away. I promise to keep my anxieties and yelling to this blog only and try not to scream in your face. To all future "current men," that all goes for you guys too. If you'd like my ex's number, I'd be willing to share it. I think it would only be fair if all complaints went directly to him. Thank you.)