got a problem that i can't fix, i just deal with it.
haha!
if you feel bad because i no longer read your livejournal, don't! i rarely read anything these days, let alone the newspaper.
christmas is the devil.
i got a laptop and a great pair of blue jeans. that was all i could have asked for, and in fact, i didn't ask for either of those things. my family passed the time coming up with a lie for why we couldn't spend time with my dad's cousins in southern virginia, and we bonded. today my dad made me cry, and i had to run upstairs into the bathroom so he wouldn't see. i can't believe i'm going to be living in my parent's house for another three weeks; shoot me.
one is silver and the other gold.
i met up with INTERNET FRIEND osa today. i've never used that phrase in my life, and hopefully i never will again. we had a really great two hour long discussion about how neither of us can ever imagine going to howard university because of all of the pain and rejection we would face from people who are supposed to be on our side. although i honestly have never assumed anyone is on my side, i can understand (from experience) the pain and fear of being backstabbed. it was nice to chat with another radical queer woman of color about women's studies departments and how black studies always seem to be really behind the times. she also talked up oakland a lot. more and more i think of going to the bay area. in fact, there's almost no reason for me not to at this point.
my best friend from high school and i have been hanging out a bunch. it's been nice, but the last time we were together she said some stuff that was incredibly ignorant, racist, and hurtful. my therapist has convinced me that i need to stop writing off the people in my life who are important to me and instead confront them when they do something that hurst. so i want to do this with old best friend. it's also been interesting for me because before she went to mali about five months ago, i'd always thought of her as mixed - half white half latina - because that is what she is and i assumed she thought of herself that way. but now that she is back, it's clear to me that she thinks of herself as white, or, at least, not as a person of color. this is a strange position for me to be in because i am usually pretty frustrated with mixed folks who live as white people [i recognize here that this is really complicated, and even that last statement doesn't really do justice to what is going on, but i don't feel like going into the nuances (many of which i don't even fully grasp) right now]. but i want to understand this part of her because i love her and think that she will be in my life for a long time. so i'm trying to confront some things, in her and in myself.
i've been here for years.
just to remind folks who missed the boat. i leave the country for six months in january. so if you wanna holla, step on it.
if you feel bad because i no longer read your livejournal, don't! i rarely read anything these days, let alone the newspaper.
christmas is the devil.
i got a laptop and a great pair of blue jeans. that was all i could have asked for, and in fact, i didn't ask for either of those things. my family passed the time coming up with a lie for why we couldn't spend time with my dad's cousins in southern virginia, and we bonded. today my dad made me cry, and i had to run upstairs into the bathroom so he wouldn't see. i can't believe i'm going to be living in my parent's house for another three weeks; shoot me.
one is silver and the other gold.
i met up with INTERNET FRIEND osa today. i've never used that phrase in my life, and hopefully i never will again. we had a really great two hour long discussion about how neither of us can ever imagine going to howard university because of all of the pain and rejection we would face from people who are supposed to be on our side. although i honestly have never assumed anyone is on my side, i can understand (from experience) the pain and fear of being backstabbed. it was nice to chat with another radical queer woman of color about women's studies departments and how black studies always seem to be really behind the times. she also talked up oakland a lot. more and more i think of going to the bay area. in fact, there's almost no reason for me not to at this point.
my best friend from high school and i have been hanging out a bunch. it's been nice, but the last time we were together she said some stuff that was incredibly ignorant, racist, and hurtful. my therapist has convinced me that i need to stop writing off the people in my life who are important to me and instead confront them when they do something that hurst. so i want to do this with old best friend. it's also been interesting for me because before she went to mali about five months ago, i'd always thought of her as mixed - half white half latina - because that is what she is and i assumed she thought of herself that way. but now that she is back, it's clear to me that she thinks of herself as white, or, at least, not as a person of color. this is a strange position for me to be in because i am usually pretty frustrated with mixed folks who live as white people [i recognize here that this is really complicated, and even that last statement doesn't really do justice to what is going on, but i don't feel like going into the nuances (many of which i don't even fully grasp) right now]. but i want to understand this part of her because i love her and think that she will be in my life for a long time. so i'm trying to confront some things, in her and in myself.
i've been here for years.
just to remind folks who missed the boat. i leave the country for six months in january. so if you wanna holla, step on it.