(no subject)
I'm still giddy about Lance's Coming Out!!!! For whatever resaon it makes me really happy.
Okay rather then clutter up your friends post with my venting it's under a ljcut.
Whats the point? Of anything? Of people? Of life? Everyone tells me to enjoy being 20 that everything just gets harder from here on out. Well it's allready been hard and I don't see the point of life if it just gets harder. I don't have any intention of killing my self there are still books to read and my little sister to watch grow up but if all life is, is pain then whats the point? Whats the point of letting any one close to you if in the end everyone just screws you over? Whats the point of caring about anyone when most times they only care about them selves. I've lived through my parents very nasty divorce when I was 5, a bitter custody battle between them was I was 8 of which I was used as a tool by my mother against my dad, an abusive stepfather when I was 9, having an autisic brother, almost losing my mother when I was 10 to breast cancer, actually losing her to a mental institution when I was 11, going to live with my dad who my mom had brain washed m against, and more or less put the fear of god into me about my dad, havng to deal with being adopted, being an outcast all through high school, and more. if it gets harder then all that then what is the fucking point? If it doesn't get easier or better then why be here at all. Everytime I think it's starting to get better, things stop hurting as much, the rug gets pulled out from under me again and it goes back to being bad. :Sigh:
Sorry things are just really bad right now and I needed to vent. Hope everyone is keeping cool during this heat wave.
Okay rather then clutter up your friends post with my venting it's under a ljcut.
Whats the point? Of anything? Of people? Of life? Everyone tells me to enjoy being 20 that everything just gets harder from here on out. Well it's allready been hard and I don't see the point of life if it just gets harder. I don't have any intention of killing my self there are still books to read and my little sister to watch grow up but if all life is, is pain then whats the point? Whats the point of letting any one close to you if in the end everyone just screws you over? Whats the point of caring about anyone when most times they only care about them selves. I've lived through my parents very nasty divorce when I was 5, a bitter custody battle between them was I was 8 of which I was used as a tool by my mother against my dad, an abusive stepfather when I was 9, having an autisic brother, almost losing my mother when I was 10 to breast cancer, actually losing her to a mental institution when I was 11, going to live with my dad who my mom had brain washed m against, and more or less put the fear of god into me about my dad, havng to deal with being adopted, being an outcast all through high school, and more. if it gets harder then all that then what is the fucking point? If it doesn't get easier or better then why be here at all. Everytime I think it's starting to get better, things stop hurting as much, the rug gets pulled out from under me again and it goes back to being bad. :Sigh:
Sorry things are just really bad right now and I needed to vent. Hope everyone is keeping cool during this heat wave.