Short~!
I like it. What was once a thing of occasional exhastion and annoyance is now something of simplicity, practicallity, and freshness. It's a breeze that sweeps in a light feeling of confidence, a dabble of giggles here and there, and an occasional sigh of bliss.
Yes, I cut my hair.
It's not like my hair was really that long to begin with: it probably wasn't even down to my shoulders. But now, it's shorter than it ever was before. Like, really. I've had it short plenty of times, but this style is completely diffrent than anything I've done before. It's short, choppy, and almsot looks like a boy's cut. ^^ And I love it. Seriously, it's so easy to maintain now. Why didn't I do this before? XD I just shower, get out, and rub a towel vigerously through the short (now naturally colored) locks, and viola, I'm done. XD Though I'm sure I can get some nasty bedhaed, but who cares? It's short and simple, and SO nice in thie weather. ^^ I can feel wind on my neck, lol. And I no longer have to tuck it behind my ears, or wear a headband to keep it out of my eyes.
Nope. Short, with bangs. Choppy bangs. Huzzah. *o*
But really, I have been thinking of myself diffrently lately. Like... my hygeine and whatnot. I've been washing my face with stuff to get rid of my acne every night, I've been taking showers almsot every day, instead of every other day, I've been nearly putting on foundation in the morning. I'm trying to start eating right, but that's a little harder... I'm going to start that after school get's out.
I've been, like, seeing life a little more seriously now. Seriously telling myself I'm going to get a job, and get money, because I need it. Working out school and stuff in my head. But, so far, it's all in my head. I need to start actually doing it. But I think once I sort it out in my brain, I can act it. Because I've realized I have some weird tempermental junk in my head. XD I get mad at things for no reason. I shy away from things just because of the sound of them, even though my brain is like 'What? It's nothing, you can do it. And you need to do it.' But I'm like 'Nooooo,' whine whine whine crap. I need to buck up, and start seriously going about my life. I think this summer will bring a new wind for me. A job means structure, and structure means not being an internally whiny girl. XP I don't like being whiny. I'm not whiny verbally, but man, if you could hear the stuff that goes on in my head sometimes. Like, I keep it all bottled inside, and never say it out loud. Which can be a good thing, because I known if I said some of the things I think, well, some events would not have happened as they did.
I've got some mental sorting to do. And I'm going to do my best. It feels like I've lost part of my personality somewhere, lol. A part of me that only comes out when I'm with certain people. And that part is the real me. When did I become so quiet? When did I become so nervous? When did I become such a weak willed person? I wasn't always like this. And I'm not like this around some people I know and love. It's a really weird feeling, to look at myself like this. I know I'm stronger than this. I know I'm better than this. So why am I not?
Huh. XD This turned into some crazy post, ne? Self assertation 101, part three.
So let's move on too dollies, or sort of. Since I forgot to post this before, you may have it now. ^^ A story of epic sillyness. ( I posted this on dA, for those of you who watch me there. ^^)
Yes, he really is like this.
A smile lit his pink eyes, delicate hands hovering above the wide package set on the bed’s deep plush comforter. He bit on his bottom lip, a happy whimper humming in his throat as he carefully set his hands on the edge of the large, tan cardboard structure, fingers rubbing softly over the sandy surface. Pointed ears picked up a condemning snort from his doorway, his head turning to look at the person standing there. “What the hell is that?” Alex smiled wide, turning and moving back and forth on his bare feet in an excited sway, a giggle set on a high school girl level leaving his lips. “My package! Look look, it’s my package, Lorien!” The red headed teen looked mildly nauseous at his actions, his strong fingers tightening on the soda can in his grasp. “I can see that. What’s in it?” Alex spun in a circle, his long, frilled sleeves floating about him as he let out a happy sigh, finishing his flourished spin and pointing a hand dramatically at the large box.
“My woman hood.”
Lorien choked, even though he hadn’t been drinking the soda in his grasp, a look of complete horror crossing his face, horror on a level Alex hadn’t seen until this point. He felt proud. “Y-your what?!” The vampire felt his smile widen, his hand falling on the tape coated parcel, petting it fondly. “Lorien, you know how people say ‘Women have all the fun’, or ‘Women have it easy’?” Lorien’s face spoke volumes of how uneasy he was with this entire conversation, his body screaming he really wanted to turn and pretend he never saw or heard anything that transpired in the last few seconds. “…Yes?” Alex giggled again, his nail puncturing into the tape, and sliding down, effectively cutting through the sticky substance. “Well, both of us know women have it just the same as us men-“ Alex blinked as the redhead in the doorway interrupted flatly, “‘Us’ being a very uncertain term at the moment.” Alex laughed, winking at his friend jovially. “Aw Lorien, you see right through me, don’t you?” The teen looked about ready to find a nice sharp object and end his existence as Alex opened his package, hands diving down into the crunchy peanut packaging bit. He laughed happily, spinning and proudly holding out the item in his grasp. “Viola! Behold, Lorien, my escalation in life!”
“…It’s a dress.” Alex peeked over the soft, deep purple cloth, feeling another swell of pride at the look of pure headache on Lorien’s face. “Yes! Your observation skills have not fallen in any manner, Lorien.” The fighter carefully set his can of soda on the desk beside him, one hand resting on the smooth surface, his other hand lifting, fingers pressing against his temple. “Alex, I know I’m going to regret asking, but why do you have a dress?” “It was sent to me!” “Is it a present for someone?” “Yes! A present for me!” “Are you going to wear it?” Alex had already spread the item on his bed, and was busy untying his shirt as he smiled back at the blue eyed teen. “Silly Lorien, why else would I receive a gift of clothing but to wear it?” He laughed as Lorien heaved a heavy sigh, pulling his shirt over his head. “Oh Lorien, you look like you’re in pain. Are you sick?” His housemate looked up, blue eyes tracing over his muscled chest. “Alex, I don’t believe this half of the time, but you are a guy. Why are you going to wear a dress?”
Alex laughed brightly, his hands reaching up and gathering his long blond hair behind his head, fingers running with practiced ease through the soft locks. “Lorien, it’s really not hard to understand. Why shouldn’t I wear a dress? Women can wear pants, why can’t men wear skirts?” “Because they shouldn’t.” “Aw, that isn’t a good argument at all.” “Because dresses are to show off a women’s figure, which men do not have.” “That’s a little better. But it sounds old fashioned.” “No, it sounds understandable. But that word’s isn’t in your vocabulary.” Alex shook his head in disagreement, pulling the supple dress over his head. “Yes it is, it just has a different meaning.” Lorien was obviously leaning on the desk now, looking ready to fall over from the pain that was undoubtedly echoing in his thoughts. “Like a lot of other things in your life.”
“A-Alex, why are you wearing a dress?” The two looked at Shin, who was suddenly standing behind Lorien in the doorway, a pot of some warm substance held in his mitten covered gloves. His soft green eyes were wide, a gentle tint of pink brushed along his cheeks as he looked at Alex, obviously confused and flabbergasted to see the vampire who he thought was a guy standing in his house, looking every inch a woman. Alex smiled at his adorable presence, walking across the carpet and standing before Shin, pulling on his long sleeves. “Shin, you know that magazine article I was in, where it was just a picture of my back and profile?” Shin nodded mutely, Lorien’s head lifting beside him. “Apparently, all the letters they got in the last few months were calling for more pictures of the ‘beautiful girl shown in the article’.” Alex smiled, laughing as he adjusted the dress about his shoulders. “So, the editor and I thought it would be a wonderful joke to see how many shoots I could do before someone noticed my true gender.”
He giggled, twirling in place, the dress’ silken skirt fluttering about his legs before swishing against his skin as he fell still, smiling at Shin. “Don’t I look pretty?” Shin smiled, nodding his head, though he was obviously not completely understanding what was going on. “Oh, it’s for the magazine! Yes, Alex, you look just like a girl!” Alex giggled as Lorien’s fingers rubbed his temple again, pink eyes looking down at the pot in Shin’s hands. “Ah, that smells good. Is dinner ready?” Shin made a sound, nodding as he turned towards the stairs. “Yes, it is! That’s what I came to tell you.” Alex smiled, turning and moving back into his room. “Alright, let me change out of this, and I’ll be right down.” Shin nodded, moving and carefully stepping back down the steps to the first floor of their home.
Alex pulled the dress off, feeling Lorien’s blue gaze burning holes in his skin. “Aren’t you going down, Lorien?” “You know, if you had just told me that in the beginning, you would have saved me this headache.” Alex laughed, grabbing his shirt from the bed, turning and moving to Lorien, lifting a hand and resting it on Lorien’s cheek fondly. “But Lorien, that isn’t fun at all.” The redhead’s eyes narrowed, smacking the vampire’s hand away as he grumbled, snagging his soda as he pushed off the desk, heading for the stairs. Alex giggled, lacing his shirt as he looked back to the clothing on his bed, eyes twinkling in anticipation.
Now, all he needed to do was go buy some underwear…
Author's Comments:
Lol, this is pure sillyness. I was staring at all the stuff I need to catch up on, and was feeling overwhelemed. SO I opened word, and started typing.
^^ And this popped out. And may be scrapped, I just felt like posting it.
It works though, becasue I don't think I've accurately expressed Alex's strangeness. He's really random and eccentric, and he would seriously wear a dress for the simple sake of wearing one, without thinking it was gay at all.
Escpecially because he can pull it off. When he wore that dress to the magazine shoot, everyone was fooled, and he got nine phone numbers at work that day.
He's proud of it. Jeez, he has no morals. *laugh*
Now, on to more rant.
I've come to the realization that I can have whatever kind of characters I want. The prime example being? ALEX. A few years ago, I would never have had a guy who would willingly wear a dress. At least, not so openly. XD I still think it's foolish and silly, and I don't think men should wear dresses, but it's Alex. He's his own, and he's charging ahead with his crazyness, pulling me baffled and laughing behind him. But you know, he's my character. It's the way he is. Should a character reflect on the person that made them? I mean, I know every character has a little bit of the maker in them and whatnot. But just because a character is flamboyant and crazy, or a scycopathic killer, does not mean the writer is neccesarily like that, or promotes it. There are thousands of types of people in the world, and all of them are special. And if you really want to enjoy writing, or having characters at all, I think it's neccesary that you take in everyone as a whole, and play around with all diffrent types of things. The most trouble I've had is with the idea of him being gay, or bi. But just because you are not personally gay or bi is not a good reason to completely erradicate such characters from your story... is it? It makes it less beleiveable, I think.... it's like psychopaths and murderers. XD We have those all the time, yet when it happens in real life, of course we find it horrifying. Not that gay's and bi's are horrifying or anything, I'm not bashing it at all. I just don't personally swing that way, and I have an annoying past with people not beleiving that. So when I think of a character of mine being bi, it's not that I'm against it per say. It's like... meh, I don't know. I've been raised so that thinking that is kind of a taboo thing...
Back to the murderer's point, I have plenty of those types of characters, who do horrible horrible things that I sometimes despise. But some of my most beloved characters are completely evil and insane. And Alex isn't like anyone else... he's special to me. He's a free character, who is one fo the first to do whatever he wants, with whomever he wants, however he want's it. Everyone seems to think he's terrible, lol. XD But he isn't really that bad of a guy. He's a wonderful guy... just insane, mischivious, and really energetic and flamboyant. ^^ I love him so. He's wonderfully easy to play with, lol, and sometimes will do the crazyest things in my head. And I'm quite proud of his story, like his backgrond and stuff. XD If only I could get it properly written out...
I wonder if that all made sense to you people... *laugh*
Well, the title completely lies about the post. XD Did I deceive you? I did not intend for it to be so long, lol. Or confusing... or serious. *laugh*
Also, I watched a movie called 'The Manturian Candidate' tonight. It had Frank Sinatra in it, and another guy who I absolutely LOVED. Man, I really loved his character!!! it was so sad and wonderful. It's a wonderful and well made movie, and I strongly reccomend it to all. <33 (ESCPECIALLY you, Say. XD Your gonna love the characters.)
Ok, I shall stop now. XD Well, ta ta!