done it again
and by "it" i mean "become pretty pathetic because of a dude."
so i had pretty much resigned myself to never hearing from "jonathan" again because where at one time he was calling and texting me CONSTANTLY, he had not initiated contact since last sunday... so like a week and a half. i had texted him a few times and he responded. at amy's party last saturday i met a million and a half dudes... none of whom REMOTELY interested me (pissed me off, yes, interested me, no) which made me realize that even though we don't know each other very well yet, and there are things that i don't particularly like about him, i like him enough to want to see him again. so at the end of the party, after texting back and forth a few times, i pretty much put it all out there and said that we should go out again sometime. he responded, but no going out inquiries, so i assumed it was done.
i am sure suzie will think this is very feministy of me, but really, this is just how i roll. i don't want to be the girl waiting by the phone for a guy to call. i don't want it to be up to him when we stop seeing each other; i don't need to completely control the situation, but i believe i should get at least half of the input regarding things that directly affect me. so in my mind, i went for it, it didn't happen, but i tried and that's the best i can do. you can't make somebody go out with you if he doesn't like you.
but i got a text from him tonight asking if i wanted to go out tomorrow and eeeeee. i am once again pathetic. i mean, 1. it's a text, hardly the most personal form of communication. i'll let it slide because he did ask me out in person twice. 2. it's about a week and a half since he last contacted me. i really wanted to say no because i don't want him (or anyone else) to think that they can just ask me out and i'll jump to say yes. but i am going to see PANIC AT THE DISCO (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) TWICE this weekend (connecticut and massachusetts) so i won't be around, and i know he's gone next weekend, so i'd rather not leave it hanging for even longer. oh well.
next order of business: putting out. hahaha jk. well, not jk, but i'll figure it out. this may be the hardest dude-decision of my life. because while i have no problem spending the night with random dudes on occasion, i don't ever expect (or want) to see them ever again. but that's not the case here; i would like to keep seeing him. so i don't want him to think i'm trashy. but i really do like sex. and it's the forth time we'll be going out. but they've pretty much all been at bars. i don't know.
in other, aforementioned news, PANIC AT THE DISCO! and fratellis tickets go on sale tomorrow and i love love love love love love them and they're so cheap and i am SO. EXCITED.
i like how i have these stretches of time where i do literally NOTHING, and then stretches where i am busy every single second.
so i had pretty much resigned myself to never hearing from "jonathan" again because where at one time he was calling and texting me CONSTANTLY, he had not initiated contact since last sunday... so like a week and a half. i had texted him a few times and he responded. at amy's party last saturday i met a million and a half dudes... none of whom REMOTELY interested me (pissed me off, yes, interested me, no) which made me realize that even though we don't know each other very well yet, and there are things that i don't particularly like about him, i like him enough to want to see him again. so at the end of the party, after texting back and forth a few times, i pretty much put it all out there and said that we should go out again sometime. he responded, but no going out inquiries, so i assumed it was done.
i am sure suzie will think this is very feministy of me, but really, this is just how i roll. i don't want to be the girl waiting by the phone for a guy to call. i don't want it to be up to him when we stop seeing each other; i don't need to completely control the situation, but i believe i should get at least half of the input regarding things that directly affect me. so in my mind, i went for it, it didn't happen, but i tried and that's the best i can do. you can't make somebody go out with you if he doesn't like you.
but i got a text from him tonight asking if i wanted to go out tomorrow and eeeeee. i am once again pathetic. i mean, 1. it's a text, hardly the most personal form of communication. i'll let it slide because he did ask me out in person twice. 2. it's about a week and a half since he last contacted me. i really wanted to say no because i don't want him (or anyone else) to think that they can just ask me out and i'll jump to say yes. but i am going to see PANIC AT THE DISCO (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) TWICE this weekend (connecticut and massachusetts) so i won't be around, and i know he's gone next weekend, so i'd rather not leave it hanging for even longer. oh well.
next order of business: putting out. hahaha jk. well, not jk, but i'll figure it out. this may be the hardest dude-decision of my life. because while i have no problem spending the night with random dudes on occasion, i don't ever expect (or want) to see them ever again. but that's not the case here; i would like to keep seeing him. so i don't want him to think i'm trashy. but i really do like sex. and it's the forth time we'll be going out. but they've pretty much all been at bars. i don't know.
in other, aforementioned news, PANIC AT THE DISCO! and fratellis tickets go on sale tomorrow and i love love love love love love them and they're so cheap and i am SO. EXCITED.
i like how i have these stretches of time where i do literally NOTHING, and then stretches where i am busy every single second.