I stole this...
First and foremost, your AIM screen name should be
some rad song title and/or lyric. Remember, the more
x's you have in it, the more scene you are.
Next, go buy yourself some girl's jeans. Face it, the
tighter your jeans are, the more scene you will be,
and the more the hardcore kids will hate you for it.
Try on a pair of jeans and find that you're a perfect
woman's 2? Buy a woman's 0 and suck it in.
After you buy your jeans, go straight to Hot Topic and
buy every single band shirt they have. Even if you've
never listened to the band, or worse, never head of
them either. [Being scene, you're supposed to know
every single band in the scene. Duh.] If people ask
you about them, just say you like the "old stuff" and
no one will ever know that you actually hate Norma
Jean. Never buy anything larger than a Youth Medium.
Ever.
Dont forget to pick up a white leather belt on your
way out!
So, now you're dressed pretty scene, but how's your
hair? Is it dyed black? Maybe with some bleach-blonde
streaks? Do your bangs cover one of your eyes? If you
answered no to any of these, shut up, grab a pair of
scissors, and chop away. Never go and get your hair
done, ALWAYS do it yourself.
Good job. Now your hair is the sex. But, your look
wont get you anywhere if you dont know how to dance.
And by dance, I mean beat the crap out of people.
First of all, you need to make sure you claim your
space in the pit. As the band starts, push everyone
back and scream something obscene. Then you need to
start to pace the pit just so everyone knows that you
can move in your pants. Pacing the pit involves doing
a half walk-half skip across the room, while looking
downwards and shaking your head. But dont mess up your
hair.
Then, when the time is right [trust me, you'll know
when] throw your arm back and hopefully, you'll hit
someone in the face.
5 scene points if his nose bleeds.
Begin two-stepping. If you dont know how to two-step,
you might as well leave and go practice in your living
room in front of a mirror until you get it. Add some
sweet floor-punches and a couple spin-kicks into the
crowd, and you're set. Notice how I didnt mention the
windmill. It's because that everyone knows that
everyone is able to do the windmill. Too bad.
Now for the pile up! As everyone runs up to the stage,
make sure you go last so you can be that cool kid on
top of the pile. If you dont know the words to the
song, fake it, and hope that its just screaming.
Your job is done.
Stand in the middle of the floor, with your arms
crossed and survey the scene.
Good job, scene. Good job.
So you're offically labeled an bunshole now that
you've given a couple of people black eyes. That's ok,
that's the point.
Now that you're back home, go straight for your
computer and immediately check your myspace. Get
really pissed off when you dont have any friend
requests, and get even more pissed off when no one has
left you a comment in the 6 hours you werent home.
Figure its because you havent updated your pictures in
a couple of weeks and go take some more. Take about
80, but use the 2 most flattering ones. Remember, the
more skin you show, or if you're sitting on the
toilet, the more comments you will get.
Go outside and have a cig break and redraw the black
X's on your hands. Afterall, you ARE straightedge.
Everyone KNOWS cigs dont count!
Look up at the stars, sigh, and thank god that you're
not emo.
Even though you really are.
some rad song title and/or lyric. Remember, the more
x's you have in it, the more scene you are.
Next, go buy yourself some girl's jeans. Face it, the
tighter your jeans are, the more scene you will be,
and the more the hardcore kids will hate you for it.
Try on a pair of jeans and find that you're a perfect
woman's 2? Buy a woman's 0 and suck it in.
After you buy your jeans, go straight to Hot Topic and
buy every single band shirt they have. Even if you've
never listened to the band, or worse, never head of
them either. [Being scene, you're supposed to know
every single band in the scene. Duh.] If people ask
you about them, just say you like the "old stuff" and
no one will ever know that you actually hate Norma
Jean. Never buy anything larger than a Youth Medium.
Ever.
Dont forget to pick up a white leather belt on your
way out!
So, now you're dressed pretty scene, but how's your
hair? Is it dyed black? Maybe with some bleach-blonde
streaks? Do your bangs cover one of your eyes? If you
answered no to any of these, shut up, grab a pair of
scissors, and chop away. Never go and get your hair
done, ALWAYS do it yourself.
Good job. Now your hair is the sex. But, your look
wont get you anywhere if you dont know how to dance.
And by dance, I mean beat the crap out of people.
First of all, you need to make sure you claim your
space in the pit. As the band starts, push everyone
back and scream something obscene. Then you need to
start to pace the pit just so everyone knows that you
can move in your pants. Pacing the pit involves doing
a half walk-half skip across the room, while looking
downwards and shaking your head. But dont mess up your
hair.
Then, when the time is right [trust me, you'll know
when] throw your arm back and hopefully, you'll hit
someone in the face.
5 scene points if his nose bleeds.
Begin two-stepping. If you dont know how to two-step,
you might as well leave and go practice in your living
room in front of a mirror until you get it. Add some
sweet floor-punches and a couple spin-kicks into the
crowd, and you're set. Notice how I didnt mention the
windmill. It's because that everyone knows that
everyone is able to do the windmill. Too bad.
Now for the pile up! As everyone runs up to the stage,
make sure you go last so you can be that cool kid on
top of the pile. If you dont know the words to the
song, fake it, and hope that its just screaming.
Your job is done.
Stand in the middle of the floor, with your arms
crossed and survey the scene.
Good job, scene. Good job.
So you're offically labeled an bunshole now that
you've given a couple of people black eyes. That's ok,
that's the point.
Now that you're back home, go straight for your
computer and immediately check your myspace. Get
really pissed off when you dont have any friend
requests, and get even more pissed off when no one has
left you a comment in the 6 hours you werent home.
Figure its because you havent updated your pictures in
a couple of weeks and go take some more. Take about
80, but use the 2 most flattering ones. Remember, the
more skin you show, or if you're sitting on the
toilet, the more comments you will get.
Go outside and have a cig break and redraw the black
X's on your hands. Afterall, you ARE straightedge.
Everyone KNOWS cigs dont count!
Look up at the stars, sigh, and thank god that you're
not emo.
Even though you really are.