Frankly, I think they're all poor. You're trying to say too much in one sentence in both cases.
In the first case, your two sentences mean different things. One says you have to perform the steps sequentially which is mildly redundant with having them numbered. The other says that you need to do something on each appliance sequentially. But, I don't think my appliances are necessarily numbered.
"Working on one appliance at a time, perform steps 1-2 on all appliances." is what I think you're going for?
As for the second thing, your tech writer should also know that they should be telling me what I am doing before telling me with what. So, if they're going to get really tech writer-y on you, they should be pushing for: "On the standby appliance, use the CLI command "Cluster Scan" to associate the standby appliance with each active appliance in the cluster." But, since this kind of blows for readability, I don't recommend it. It can be shortened, in a blatant disregard for strict adherence to rules with something like: "Use the CLI command "Cluster Scan" on the standby appliance to associate it with each active appliance in the cluster."
In the first case, your two sentences mean different things. One says you have to perform the steps sequentially which is mildly redundant with having them numbered. The other says that you need to do something on each appliance sequentially. But, I don't think my appliances are necessarily numbered.
"Working on one appliance at a time, perform steps 1-2 on all appliances." is what I think you're going for?
As for the second thing, your tech writer should also know that they should be telling me what I am doing before telling me with what. So, if they're going to get really tech writer-y on you, they should be pushing for:
"On the standby appliance, use the CLI command "Cluster Scan" to associate the standby appliance with each active appliance in the cluster." But, since this kind of blows for readability, I don't recommend it. It can be shortened, in a blatant disregard for strict adherence to rules with something like: "Use the CLI command "Cluster Scan" on the standby appliance to associate it with each active appliance in the cluster."
*shrug*
Reply
Leave a comment