dont know any more
i done shrooms for the last 2 days and ill probably do it a gain tommorow. im going to sell some books to pay for it. but im a dope fiend and im trying to find my next fix. im not sure anymore on what to do. i kinda wish i was younger and shit. i kinda wish i had some one to hold. im going to die alone and be nothing my entire life and ill do nothing. its kinda sad that im going to be nothing ever in my life. im not sure even if there are people that love me. some times i cry because im alone. my sister lives with my dad and my mom livess at work. sometimes i wonder if im even really here. i just want some one to hold me. no one is even around me know. some day i might change but for now i suppose i wallow in my own self pity. my moms broke. like seriously broke. she doesnt have money to pay for bills. nothing. i need to get a job next week. im going to give my mom half of what i make a week. or twwo weeks. what ever they give me ill give my mom. i love my parents. even though i might have said things in the past that would say other wise or whatever. they are the best things in the world. i dont want to be nothing. i want to build something or do something significally special in the world. but ill just grow up to be nothing. i can see it in peoples eyes. they can tell that your going to be nothing in the world. all in their eyes. its the key to the soul. im not even significally special to anyone in this world. if i just vanished tommorow no one would even knoew i was gone.maybe my parents or my sister, you know the family but tyhe world would not even know i was gone. im out of cigarettes, damn it. do you know what it feels like to jack-off in an amor'e?