Feb 28, 2005 19:10
Didn't go to school today, because I was sick.. I've been sick for a week now, my voice is coming back a little bit though. I felt fine yesterday with just a little cough, I think Steve might have gotten me sick again. He was sick last nite, 'cuz he kept coughing during SAW. (Gross, but really good movie) Well when I woke up this morning I felt like crap. So my dad asked me if I was going to school since I still wasn't up at 6:45 and I told him I didn't want to. Well it turns out that Steve didn't go to school either hmm. Oh well, I have to go to school tomorrow though because I need to get all the work I missed today and from the days from last week, but if I don't then oh well. I don't really want to go to school. Life just feels different now days. Like obviously no one wants to go to school to learn, but I used to want to go to see everyone, and now I just don't care, like if I could stay home I would, but like it just feels different.. But, I'm so glad that I have Carver and now Steve and P-west in my life. I can be myself around all of them and whenever me and Chelsea hang out with them I always have a lot of fun, and I love all of the to death..
But now people are making a big deal out of me having friends and it's gay.. Seriously I don't care about these anonymous comments people are leaving that they think are hurting my feelings 'cuz really I just let them fly right by me, I don't care about it at all. It's just the anonymous comments that people are leaving saying that I've changed so much from coming home and how I'm "a bitch" are really getting to me I guess. Yeah, I know I'm a bitch, I can be when I need to be, but I would like to think that I'm not ALL the time.. And I don't see how I'm fake, I really don't so if someone would like to LEAVE THERE NAME and tell me how I'm fake, I would love it. Also, to all my friends, seriously you all know that I love you to death, and you should all know that I would do ANYTHING for you, because I say it all the time, and I always write about how you are my whole world and I would die, before I would let anyone hurt any of you. So, really I don't see why your worried about me bitching you guys out.. you should all also know that I've changed since last year, and all this fighting drama has stopped from me.. It's been like that all year, I haven't gotten to any stupid fights with anyone. And if you were all my real friends, you should be able to come to me and talk to me about something that is bothering you.. I don't care if you left a dumb anonymous comment in my journal (even though we ALL talk about how stupid it is, and how much unnecesary drama it causes) I just want to know what your all upset about.. and it hurts to know that my own FRIENDS can't come to me.. it really does. You are my whole life, I love all of you, and you can't even come to me about stuff.. it breaks my heart..