Thoughts
What is it with me? I hate being so vulnerable to love. No, nothing's happened. I just feel so deeply alone in my own little world. He's out there, I know. Within 20 miles...so why do I feel like he's so far away from me? I honestly thought that after Alex, that I would never fall in love like that again. Of course I was young, so I knew that my doubts were nothing but that cold-sad feeling that everyone experiences: heartbreak. That dickhead had the nerve to talk to me today. I hate looking at him now. I never in a million years [when we were together] thought that I could feel this way about him, but I do. I hate it when he looks me in the eye when we talk, because I know he's trying to give me that 'I-know-you'll-always-care-about-me'- look. Well, honestly...I will. Too bad it'll be a cold day in hell when I give him another chance. How stupid do you have to be to think that after you fuck someone over constantly for 2 years, that they'll fall back into your arms without any effort whatsoever? Pretty damn stupid I guess. I can't stop thinking about how much harder he made things for me since we were together. Brandon's done nothing but place me on a pedastol, [and suck at calling me] and I still can't seem to give myself to him 100 percent. Don't get me wrong, I'm head over heels for him, but I guess I'm just waiting for that stupid-something to happen that completely convinces me that he's forreal. And Joey's a fucking bastard. [excuse me.] I ought to ring his neck for opening his mouth....
Damn today isn't ever going to end.
Half day / Hung out with Melissa and Brandon / Port Huron for Need for Speed Underground 3 Dub Edition (by the way I'm borrowing that) / Melissa's house for pizza / Home. OOOH aren't I just special.
Damn today isn't ever going to end.
Half day / Hung out with Melissa and Brandon / Port Huron for Need for Speed Underground 3 Dub Edition (by the way I'm borrowing that) / Melissa's house for pizza / Home. OOOH aren't I just special.