ABCDEFUCK

[lust13]

           Since I'm home during the day by myself now...I have done a lot of thinking.  Last night I got emotional, suprise? Nah...I was talking to Chris Marshall and he told me that Bobby, Trin, and Katie were over right before I called him.  Why were they over? Not to hang out with Chris, but because they were too fucked up to go home.  I told Chris I wouldn't have let them stay.  But Bobby and me had something really good going, and all of a sudden, after Chris's party, it just stopped.  Right there. Which left me in a lot of deep thought, why the hell does this always happen to me? Wtf did I do wrong? Obviously it was just him, but only God knows why I can never get over the guys who fuck me over time and time again, it's so relentless.  So now, I'm just sitting at home.  I have A LOT of shit to do today, and I wanna go out tonite.  I haven't been out in a while, and I've been sober (besides when I got high Monday) since like Saturday.  Chelsea's get-together would have been better if everyone wasn't so fucking selfish.  Oh well. I'm done with the bullshit, I just wanna go out and have fun, and whatever's stopping me is about to be moved right the hell out of my way.

Went Xmas shopping last night, me and Robyn got into a fight when we got to the mall...so I walked away and went shopping alone untill they found me.  Saw some guy who looked like Peter Pan or Zorrow rather, and chased him to get a picture.  Ended up seeing Sally in Target, talk about akward.  I bought everyone a bath, spa kind a thing. (Shaving thing for dad..hope he likes it) and with each gift some kind of candy.  Hope it works...Xmas is in 3 days. *Yawn*