Say what
Ok so my parents almost got separated.
It was weird. And freaky. I was watching a VMA MTV awards special, and then my dad calls me into the kitchen. So I go, and my dad says : "Your mom and I have decided to get separated. I've had it. Your mother is upset because a friend asked me to go and spend the week-end with him and she's had it and so have I". The thing is my parents always had this problem of my mom not standing my dad's best friend. She thinks...I don't know what she thinks. Fact is she's also had it with his constant stupid jokes and sometimes vulgar attitudes. But he's always joking. She's said that the man she married didn't act like this and if she would have known that he was gonna change that she wouldn't have married him. This was all said on mom's Bday 2 days ago by the way.
Anyway I just went all numb and weird and felt this pit in my stomach and I REALLY wanted to throw up. I went "ok" and headed upstairs. I sat down on the toilet seat for about a minute and then I started crying. I couldn't believe my parents were gonna get separated. And then I started going into panic mode, and also the frantic crying mode. You know the ones where you just sort of gasp for breath and splutter. Well I had that. Then I heard my mom shouting : "Why have you told her when we haven't even decided yet??"
And anyways I just started going "Ok you're gonna have to choose who to live with now!!!!!" and I was thinking about it. And then I just sort of thought..."Wow. I think I'm choosing my mom!" And I then the panic mode turned into guilty mode. My dad is the best dad ever. But I don't know I just sort of chose mom! He's not perfect but I just couldn't believe that I had chosen so...unproblematically (UM OK IS THAT EVEN A FREAKIN WORD?). I didn't know what was the matter with me! I love my dad so much!!! So I just felt like a bad daughter basically.
Then my dad came up and explained (though I already knew) that this did not change anything at all. That they still loved me no matter what. Then my mom came and explained to my shock that he had just said it in the spur of the moment, that I didn't have to decide anything (SHE READ MY MIND!) and that she was going to talk to him. You can't imagine how relieved at was. And a tad pissed as well. But I guess it's better to be prepared.
Anyway she went downstairs and dad went out to take the dog out. Mom followed him. I have no idea what they talked about, I was chatting with my dear Venetia and when they came back, my mom said that at the end everything was gonna be (sort of) ok-ish. He was going on the trip this week-end and she even thought it would do them good to get away like that. That she was going to just stay out of his things for a moment and he was going to do the same. I don't know what my dad thinks about this though, I didn't get to talk to him about it. But isn't "staying out of each other things" like forcing to be together? *sighs*
Anyways. I think it's partly because we bought our new house and all...I dunno. I'm kind of weirded out by today. My mom saw my face a while later and asked me if I was ok and I just sort of told about the whole choosing her thing. She said that I shouldn't feel guilty about it because I would have felt guilty if it were the other way around too! And then she went upstairs for a mo' and came down. I asked : "You didn't tell him did you?" She went : "No" and kept on ironing. I few minutes passed and I go : "You told him didn't you" and she went : "Yes" and I went "GOD MOM!!!" and she went " What?! OH come on, Lucia do you really think he's mad?? You just don't understand it yet. When you have kids you'll see that you will always support whatever they do. He's not mad, he understands". I seriously doubted that. But then after taking a shower I heard him brushing his teeth. And I wanted to talk to him. I just didn't want to look at him. But I had to. I couldn't be a coward like that, he's my father for God's sake!
So I went and said "Goodnight". He looked up and didn't answer. My heart was sinking. "Goodnight", I repeated, and went "Wait" with his hand and I breathed a sigh of relief. He then wiped his mouth but couldn't talk because he had this thing that cleans your mouth. He smiled and hugged me and kissed me. And I was just too happy. I kissed him and he almost fell and choked. I then went and brushed my own teeth.
I want to thank Venetia for comforting me and telling me the wise words of : "It's your female instinct" =)
/ends Oscar speech moment