Hello Old Friend

[lusid_eyes]

Spiritual Alchemy; the merging of my ego and shadow self to become whole. That is what 2010 is supposed to represent for me. Well that is what the psychic told me anyway lol; but it is not far off what I was feeling anyway. I need to finish reading this book that two DIFFERENT psychics told me I needed to read; ‘The dark side of the light chasers’. It is all about spiritual alchemy; it is pretty interesting and I can see how it applies. There is an exercise at the end of the first chapter I need to do before I can go on; and I want to take this seriously cause it seems to have a lot of ground work in it that can help me deal with my personal demons. God knows I have a dark side lol. Into the new role at work… well sorta; I am stuck between a new role and my old role for a bit until they find a replacement; it is balls but I can deal with it for now; the change is coming and it is going to be a good one. Hopefully the raise is UBER good as well heh *crosses fingers*. So I have a feeling the single life is for me for awhile; I have been drained by my last couple of relationships and I KNOW I need to focus more on me. In the past my focus has never stayed on me because I have let others interfere with these goals or they have modeled different priorities. Another thing the psychic told me is that I need to start being better to myself; I know this is true; I have not been so good to myself over the years and I need to start treating myself better. I feel bad because I have kind of withdrawn from a lot of people as a result; especially some people that I really care about. I am making personal goals to better those relationships; I think of the people are care about very often but I know it will be a bit before I really start working on my goals with others. Babysteps; I need to stay in contact with more at the very least; I am failing at that and feel at times that people think that I have forgotten about them or don’t care about their friendship (which is NOT true at all). I have started eating better over the last couple weeks and started going to the gym this week; second day into it and I think I am enjoying the gym….. FREAKY!!!! I am NOT a gym person; but I am enjoying just going, working out, listening to my music and just tuning out for a bit you know? Typically I have made my New Years goals…. But for some reason I haven’t this year; I am leaving them pretty open actually; maybe it will work out better? Although last year I did all of them; which could be a good or bad thing lol. I know I want to go on a few little trips this year; I know I will be in Montreal at some point because a friend of mine moved out there and I promised to visit. Not sure where else to head; I think I will be heading to TO more often this year as well. Oh one goal that I am working on with the eating healthy and working out thing (although this sounds sickingly vain) is to get abs; the kind people want to eat ice cream off of hahahahaha. Is that a wrong thing to say? Honestly I would be happy losing the fat and looking lean. I REALLY just want to be comfortable in my own skin for once.

Well that is all for now…. The writing flow just ended but I will try to post another on sometime soon :)

Boo Bye!