It rains the hardest on the people who deserve the sun...
I moved out of my house today and moved in with a guy. Wow at that. i never though that this is where i would be, would be laying, would be calling home. I guess life throws things at you when you at least expect it too. Mom moved in with my uncle reggie and i moved in with someone i felt safe and secure with. I know where im living for the time being will be okay and it will help me out in the long run. I told the guy im living with about everything...i told him about jamall, i told him i was gunna talk to other guys... i was completely totally honest and i think that helped in the long run. I thank my lucky stars everyday for the people God puts in my life....I dont pay rent here.. i dont do nothing except make sure the house is clean and make sure hes on track with everything hes suppose to be doing. He got back from Iraq not to long ago and his mother told me he hasnt been the same....and he just always seems distant. Im not planning on staying here a long time just untill mom finds a place and i get stable. I feel like i have so much on my back right now. My car isnt running right...my car payment is late, i have had other people put gas in my car for the last month..buy me food, my me cigs, anything and everything i have needed he and his mom have helped me and i thank God for that or i wouldnt know where i would be, or what i would be doing. i feel so bad that i dont have my own money my own everything.. but i know things will work out in the end. I want to pay everything off and get in school as soon as possible. I want to be able to make it on my own and not worry about a damn thing.. or not worry about whos going to take care of me or how im going to afford to put gas in my car. i hate to say this but my own mother is pulling me in the wrong direction.....If i continue to live with her.. and do the things she does.. my credit is going to look like hers by the time im 30, and i dont want that. i want better for myself and my family when i choose to have one.
-I got a job i finally like. i work in a office with about 8 other girls and talk on the phone all day...what girl wouldnt like that? i love it. decent pay and great hours and i have my weekend off... I have been waiting for a job like this for a very long time.
pray for me. My phone is cut off right now, maybe thats a good thing.....noone knows exactly where im living not even my mother and i like it this way.
Rachel