(no subject)
maybe you were all faster than me
we gave each other up so easily
these silly little wounds will never mend
i feel so far from where i've been
so i go, and i will not be back here again
i'm gone as the day is fading
last night was really nice :) mimi slept over and we talked for hours. like honestly, we talked about so many things, it was great. it's crazy how much everything has changed, and how suddenly they do. i think its even crazier that things can change so much without you even noticing until you sit there and you're like, damn, what happened? thats like what happens to me.. cause i live this life everyday so i dont really notice any changes because they happen right infront of me, but when i actually think about it, everything is different. it happened so fast too. "it hurts so bad, but its missed when its gone." i totally relate to that quote, because it applies to a lot of things in my life. i think the craziest part of this all is that the better i start doing in life, like in school and relationship wise, friendship wise and everything, the more im falling apart. i seriously dont get it. i guess im just not used to certain things, and new things in my life and itll take some adjusting. mimi and i were gunna go to the womens health center today for some *stuff* lol but it was closed :( thats ok though cause i can go on tuesday with her. theres just so much i want to and NEED to say and its like trapped within me, i have no outlet. i could write it over a million times and still not be able to let it out. i want to scream at the top of my lungs and just release myself but i cant. we talked a lot about something thats been going on with me, thats really serious and shes pretty worried about. so am i, i mean its really bad but i cant stop. it's getting so bad too, and i know the risks but i dont think of it at the time im doing it. when will i learn? i swear i think if i was on my deathbed i still wouldn't realize what i do to myself. i tell mimi about someone because i want her to feel like theres hope. like i love talking about it cause i can see it on her face that she wants it so bad, and i think she loses sight of it sometimes. no one wants to be alone, not anybody.
its crazy when we look back on how things were cause its like we grew up so fast, but we're not really even grown yet. we have a whole life ahead of us, as much as we think we've lived and experienced, it's nothing compared to what we're gunna see. last night she was talking about how it feels like nothing changes, and i used my life as an example and she was like "whoa" and so was i going over it, cause even i forget things that have happened. like over the past year, we were thinking about it.. and so MUCH has gone on and so much has changed, its insane.
we gave each other up so easily
these silly little wounds will never mend
i feel so far from where i've been
so i go, and i will not be back here again
i'm gone as the day is fading
last night was really nice :) mimi slept over and we talked for hours. like honestly, we talked about so many things, it was great. it's crazy how much everything has changed, and how suddenly they do. i think its even crazier that things can change so much without you even noticing until you sit there and you're like, damn, what happened? thats like what happens to me.. cause i live this life everyday so i dont really notice any changes because they happen right infront of me, but when i actually think about it, everything is different. it happened so fast too. "it hurts so bad, but its missed when its gone." i totally relate to that quote, because it applies to a lot of things in my life. i think the craziest part of this all is that the better i start doing in life, like in school and relationship wise, friendship wise and everything, the more im falling apart. i seriously dont get it. i guess im just not used to certain things, and new things in my life and itll take some adjusting. mimi and i were gunna go to the womens health center today for some *stuff* lol but it was closed :( thats ok though cause i can go on tuesday with her. theres just so much i want to and NEED to say and its like trapped within me, i have no outlet. i could write it over a million times and still not be able to let it out. i want to scream at the top of my lungs and just release myself but i cant. we talked a lot about something thats been going on with me, thats really serious and shes pretty worried about. so am i, i mean its really bad but i cant stop. it's getting so bad too, and i know the risks but i dont think of it at the time im doing it. when will i learn? i swear i think if i was on my deathbed i still wouldn't realize what i do to myself. i tell mimi about someone because i want her to feel like theres hope. like i love talking about it cause i can see it on her face that she wants it so bad, and i think she loses sight of it sometimes. no one wants to be alone, not anybody.
its crazy when we look back on how things were cause its like we grew up so fast, but we're not really even grown yet. we have a whole life ahead of us, as much as we think we've lived and experienced, it's nothing compared to what we're gunna see. last night she was talking about how it feels like nothing changes, and i used my life as an example and she was like "whoa" and so was i going over it, cause even i forget things that have happened. like over the past year, we were thinking about it.. and so MUCH has gone on and so much has changed, its insane.