(no subject)
i think that was the attraction, if you know what i mean.
games. keep deleting his number so i won't contact him but then he keeps contacting me. 'watcha doin?' he is so cute when he doesn't know i'm there. if i weren't so lazy, this could be really passionate. my mom told me to look up the definition of self esteem. so i sat at the other end of the bar talked to everyone except him. he was into that which is so fucked up. leggings and boots tend to be my golden ticket. i didn't wear a coat so we would give me his which is also fucked. tried talking to him before i was drunk. not fun. kept drinking. he sang. he has such a pretty voice, considering he's a chain smoking alcoholoc. he played damien rice. so hot. he came and sat with me and jimmy which was cute cause he knew other people at the bar. he may not get along with simon, but he gets along with jimmy, and that's something. jimmy bought him a pack of cigarettes. he bought jimmy a shot of tequila. smoke smoke smoke drink drink drink. really shitty pool. got too drunk. don't remember much at all. the bar closed. i could barely walk. so drunk i forgot how to spell america. twice. i asked jimmy to drive me home, see mom, i'm responsible! jimmy said no that i had to go home with tommy. tommy said yeah. i didn't want to. i mean, i did ofcourse, but not that way. tommy drove a block home. he was drunk. i have to smoke a cigarette. you have to smaoke a cigarette? smoked on the front porch next to the red door. talked about alcohol. who knew an entire synthesis could be formed entirely upon alcohol enthusiasm. he showed me his gun. it was big and expensive and silver and heavy. excessive. i asked him what purpose this gun could possibly serve and he said to kill people. simple. THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DIE. drunkinly playing with guns. i told him i dont like guns, he told me he did. he let me choose which movie to watch and you know i chose what's eating gilbert grape. then louis ck. faggot. i told him i didn't believe in pre marital sex and he said i know then i said i just want to go to sleep and he said that's fine. so then we kissed and then we had sex. i'm obsessed with kissing him. his beard. i'm so into kissing him. too tired. texted my mom and apologized for taking her cigarettes and to expect me home early. he's so much fun to sleep with and not even in a sexual way. yes, a sexual way, but also in a resting way. woke up still drunk. couldn't find my scarf. kissed him. he kissed me. i never kissed miles the morning after. walked back to the bar to get my car. there was ice on my windshield.
games. keep deleting his number so i won't contact him but then he keeps contacting me. 'watcha doin?' he is so cute when he doesn't know i'm there. if i weren't so lazy, this could be really passionate. my mom told me to look up the definition of self esteem. so i sat at the other end of the bar talked to everyone except him. he was into that which is so fucked up. leggings and boots tend to be my golden ticket. i didn't wear a coat so we would give me his which is also fucked. tried talking to him before i was drunk. not fun. kept drinking. he sang. he has such a pretty voice, considering he's a chain smoking alcoholoc. he played damien rice. so hot. he came and sat with me and jimmy which was cute cause he knew other people at the bar. he may not get along with simon, but he gets along with jimmy, and that's something. jimmy bought him a pack of cigarettes. he bought jimmy a shot of tequila. smoke smoke smoke drink drink drink. really shitty pool. got too drunk. don't remember much at all. the bar closed. i could barely walk. so drunk i forgot how to spell america. twice. i asked jimmy to drive me home, see mom, i'm responsible! jimmy said no that i had to go home with tommy. tommy said yeah. i didn't want to. i mean, i did ofcourse, but not that way. tommy drove a block home. he was drunk. i have to smoke a cigarette. you have to smaoke a cigarette? smoked on the front porch next to the red door. talked about alcohol. who knew an entire synthesis could be formed entirely upon alcohol enthusiasm. he showed me his gun. it was big and expensive and silver and heavy. excessive. i asked him what purpose this gun could possibly serve and he said to kill people. simple. THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DIE. drunkinly playing with guns. i told him i dont like guns, he told me he did. he let me choose which movie to watch and you know i chose what's eating gilbert grape. then louis ck. faggot. i told him i didn't believe in pre marital sex and he said i know then i said i just want to go to sleep and he said that's fine. so then we kissed and then we had sex. i'm obsessed with kissing him. his beard. i'm so into kissing him. too tired. texted my mom and apologized for taking her cigarettes and to expect me home early. he's so much fun to sleep with and not even in a sexual way. yes, a sexual way, but also in a resting way. woke up still drunk. couldn't find my scarf. kissed him. he kissed me. i never kissed miles the morning after. walked back to the bar to get my car. there was ice on my windshield.