(no subject)
i really wish i understood girls intentions. why they decide to yank on my heart strings left and right for what seems to be for their simple amusement. how can you seem interested in me and then bail out on me TWICE in a fucking a row. twice. for god's sake, you are the one that made the plans to begin with. you didn't even have to agree with them. they were your fucking idea, i simply agreed because i guess im stupid and naive and thought you might actually keep them. what the hell was i thinking? sheesh, im obviously an idiot. i guess im learned one simple and important fact: when girls ask you to hang out, they really dont want to hang out with you. it is all a ploy. it really makes me angry too considering i took a good hour or so and helped you clean out and take pictures of your studio when i could have been doing something better with my time, and nevermind the fact i probably would have been sitting on my ass staring blankly at my computer screen like a gloried zombie, all that matters is i generously helped you out because i am a benevolent human being and i *gasp* like you. and hurts even more to walk you towards the subway and have you say you will call me straight to my face THAT night only to blatantly lie to me. for christ's sake, if you dont want to hang out with me, just tell me. i dont care, ill forget about it eventually, but dont do this wishy washy shit. dont act interested in you really arent. dont make plans if you cant keep them. dont ask me for favors and not return the gesture. it is really very simple, or at least in my eyes it is. maybe i am overreacting and maybe there is some grandiose excuse why you never called, but even so, i am going to find it hard to recuperate from this. two nights in a row is not a good track record. how am i supposed to trust you in the future? and why do girls insist on doing this to me? i can name three girls right now who have done this very same thing to me and caused the very same emotions i am now purging out of my disgruntled body. i wish i knew what quality was in me that makes girls what to take advantage of me. for god's sake you heartless bastards, i am human too.