*smiles*
My life feels so wonderful. You have no idea. Well... actually... I hope most of you have some sort of an idea. o.o'' I just wanna feel special =Þ
Though I do feel bad for not talking to Graham as often as I probably should. I think he needs me as someone to daily vent to. He's just so numb-like and depressing most of the time. Even his laugh is empty. Everytime I feel a hint of happiness in him, it's only because I lifted things off his chest for a moment. In that moment he's happy but in that moment he misses me as I miss making him happy. I -can't-let it get to me. So in essence I fear talking to him. I do want to see him though. I know this is only a phase and soon he'll be like BOOM and be Graham again ^______^ I'll try calling him tonight.
I saw Shalane the other day after work. Couldn't stay... Ron sounded like he needed me more than Shalane did. I bought Shalane and the household there 'bout $10.00 in Taco Bell. Still I felt like I should have bought more. They were apperantly hungry and ate it up really quick o.o'' even argued over it a lill. Made me feel spoiled yet thankful for what I have. I didn't see the puppy there anymore... nor did I ask where it was. It's always some sort of horror story hearing what happened to their pets and I get sick hearing them.
Thanksgiving was awesome ^_____^ yet again I did not spend it with my family. I spent mine this year with Ron. Good times ^___^ especially when we went back to his place ^.~ We officially started going out on Thanksgiving... WHICH just so happened to be the day of his 18th b-day aswell! Yahno what this means... p0000000000rn!! Wheee ^______^ I'm excited *lol*
Sean... Ron and I's first son died while I was at work. *tears* So I had a new one! This one is named Raven but we still keep calling him Sean *lol* (Tamagotchi's y0) Speaking of 'kids' Ron's ex Stephy informed him that she might be pregnant with his child. Whatta blow. I was frozen in my bed for hours at 'round 2:30am. I didn't know what to think or say and I bet Ron felt more lost and confused and screwed than I did. I was horribly worried that now he'll have to leave. I didn't want him to go at all. So I simply told him that if it's true... I'll leave. He didn't seem happy with the thought (I certainly did not... but I didn't want to make things complicated). After I heard his response I decided that I'll stay no matter what... kid or no kid. (Though I honestly don't think there is any kid). I guess we'll know soon enough. Ron is going to buy her a testy thingy today...
Wow... a child... living breathing innocense... I hope it's not true. ;-;
Meow. I've grown rather fond of Ron.
The other night while laying in his brothers bed (so he could play Code of Honor) He lifted the raven pendent off my chest and examined it for a moment. I worried he was going to take it off. Parting with that necklace would be gut wrenching to me. It means so much. I asked him if he wanted it back. He responded with "Not now..." Leaving to think that one day he will take it off. *sigh* Until then... I'm happy.
School is going meh. I want to do so well. Math brings me down big time. I'm strating to draw my goddess and ants today. The goddess are for my Mythology class and the Ants are for Graphic Arts. I <3 my GA class ^_____^ Right now I have to draw ant(s) in 100 different ways and choose the 5 that I think are the best, enlarge them, and CG 'em. Fun stuff ^______^
Ron is writing a book based on how to make a woman want you. *lol* He's an amazing kisser and well... just plain amazing in general. I hope someday I won't feel like he's going to leave. It's just that, my fear of him leaving, that holds me back from relaxing and loving like I know I'm well capable of. I think he knows it too. But anyways... about his book. I'm helping him with it through 'experiments' and what not. Wow... love helping him with this book of his. Hehe.
Work is getting busier and I love it that way ^_____^ I love the people and finding similar interests so quickly. However a lady the other day was going to report me. ME!! She said I was rude ;-; If you know me AT ALL I'm the furthest from RUDE. I barely know how to be o.o'' Well, it ruined my night... until I later went to Ron's place ^______^ Brightened it all again!
And my journal would not be complete without a shout to Julia =Þ Love you girlie!!! *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs* I just discovered that I DID put your number in my Dad's cell. Ringy ringy soon ^_____^ We have mucho catching up to do love ^_________^
Now... wasent that just the most boring thing ever =Þ
Actually... right now I just want to use my journal as more of a date reminder... jotting down what things have happened and feelings and what not. Not supposed to be entertaining IN THE SLIGHTEST. Yesh. I might make another account for that. I'm not sure yet. I dhunn think I can keep up with TWO accounts o.o'' I amaze myself that I've kept this one for as long as I have ^^;
ANYWAYS
I'm out... gotta draw ^______^
:hearts to Ron:
Yours Truly,
Neko
Though I do feel bad for not talking to Graham as often as I probably should. I think he needs me as someone to daily vent to. He's just so numb-like and depressing most of the time. Even his laugh is empty. Everytime I feel a hint of happiness in him, it's only because I lifted things off his chest for a moment. In that moment he's happy but in that moment he misses me as I miss making him happy. I -can't-let it get to me. So in essence I fear talking to him. I do want to see him though. I know this is only a phase and soon he'll be like BOOM and be Graham again ^______^ I'll try calling him tonight.
I saw Shalane the other day after work. Couldn't stay... Ron sounded like he needed me more than Shalane did. I bought Shalane and the household there 'bout $10.00 in Taco Bell. Still I felt like I should have bought more. They were apperantly hungry and ate it up really quick o.o'' even argued over it a lill. Made me feel spoiled yet thankful for what I have. I didn't see the puppy there anymore... nor did I ask where it was. It's always some sort of horror story hearing what happened to their pets and I get sick hearing them.
Thanksgiving was awesome ^_____^ yet again I did not spend it with my family. I spent mine this year with Ron. Good times ^___^ especially when we went back to his place ^.~ We officially started going out on Thanksgiving... WHICH just so happened to be the day of his 18th b-day aswell! Yahno what this means... p0000000000rn!! Wheee ^______^ I'm excited *lol*
Sean... Ron and I's first son died while I was at work. *tears* So I had a new one! This one is named Raven but we still keep calling him Sean *lol* (Tamagotchi's y0) Speaking of 'kids' Ron's ex Stephy informed him that she might be pregnant with his child. Whatta blow. I was frozen in my bed for hours at 'round 2:30am. I didn't know what to think or say and I bet Ron felt more lost and confused and screwed than I did. I was horribly worried that now he'll have to leave. I didn't want him to go at all. So I simply told him that if it's true... I'll leave. He didn't seem happy with the thought (I certainly did not... but I didn't want to make things complicated). After I heard his response I decided that I'll stay no matter what... kid or no kid. (Though I honestly don't think there is any kid). I guess we'll know soon enough. Ron is going to buy her a testy thingy today...
Wow... a child... living breathing innocense... I hope it's not true. ;-;
Meow. I've grown rather fond of Ron.
The other night while laying in his brothers bed (so he could play Code of Honor) He lifted the raven pendent off my chest and examined it for a moment. I worried he was going to take it off. Parting with that necklace would be gut wrenching to me. It means so much. I asked him if he wanted it back. He responded with "Not now..." Leaving to think that one day he will take it off. *sigh* Until then... I'm happy.
School is going meh. I want to do so well. Math brings me down big time. I'm strating to draw my goddess and ants today. The goddess are for my Mythology class and the Ants are for Graphic Arts. I <3 my GA class ^_____^ Right now I have to draw ant(s) in 100 different ways and choose the 5 that I think are the best, enlarge them, and CG 'em. Fun stuff ^______^
Ron is writing a book based on how to make a woman want you. *lol* He's an amazing kisser and well... just plain amazing in general. I hope someday I won't feel like he's going to leave. It's just that, my fear of him leaving, that holds me back from relaxing and loving like I know I'm well capable of. I think he knows it too. But anyways... about his book. I'm helping him with it through 'experiments' and what not. Wow... love helping him with this book of his. Hehe.
Work is getting busier and I love it that way ^_____^ I love the people and finding similar interests so quickly. However a lady the other day was going to report me. ME!! She said I was rude ;-; If you know me AT ALL I'm the furthest from RUDE. I barely know how to be o.o'' Well, it ruined my night... until I later went to Ron's place ^______^ Brightened it all again!
And my journal would not be complete without a shout to Julia =Þ Love you girlie!!! *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs* I just discovered that I DID put your number in my Dad's cell. Ringy ringy soon ^_____^ We have mucho catching up to do love ^_________^
Now... wasent that just the most boring thing ever =Þ
Actually... right now I just want to use my journal as more of a date reminder... jotting down what things have happened and feelings and what not. Not supposed to be entertaining IN THE SLIGHTEST. Yesh. I might make another account for that. I'm not sure yet. I dhunn think I can keep up with TWO accounts o.o'' I amaze myself that I've kept this one for as long as I have ^^;
ANYWAYS
I'm out... gotta draw ^______^
:hearts to Ron:
Yours Truly,
Neko