(no subject)
I'm back from a conference, Germany and visiting my brother. It was pretty exhausting, what with my sleep patterns not being particularly compatible with 9am starts. It was also pretty wearing for all the usual social reasons. In part, other mathematicians seem to find me intimidating as a person; wearing a Rob Zombie t-shirt gets the kind of reaction I might have if someone publicly demonstrated their copraphilia - a kind of fascinated horror. This seems a bit extreme to me, since I go out of my way to be pleasant, albeit with a tendency to actually express my opinions if asked, which is a little unusual in some gatherings (academic friends caricature me as patiently listening while someone explains some opinion at length, only to flatly say "no, I don't agree at all"). Anyhoo, that is tiring, as is the politicking that goes into deciding who gives a talk and how long - I gave a talk, but was given one of the shortest time slots as a sign that the organiser, a co-author of mine, didn't really rate me very highly. Its petty and small, but still worth paying attention to, and I'm getting a bit sick of being the ideas and knowledge guy behind the scenes, and getting so little recognition for it. Its not as if I give a bad presentation even - I'm pretty sure I am quite good, in fact - yet the level of "disrespect" I get (and have got over the years) is a little shocking by academic standards. Gah.
Then I went to see my brother, who always makes me feel like I am pretty crazy but he is a cool guy, so doesn't get all judgemental about it. Mind you, I didn't *want* to be the crazy one, but I guess its not really up to me.
Then I went to see my brother, who always makes me feel like I am pretty crazy but he is a cool guy, so doesn't get all judgemental about it. Mind you, I didn't *want* to be the crazy one, but I guess its not really up to me.