4:16: On the Head of a Pin: The End Scene
Whilst waiting for season 8 to start, I am rewatching Destiel bits and (over) anaylzing them. Because it's just a bit of fun! :)
I’m quoting more dialogue than I usually do because IMHO it’s all quite significant. The first exchange, when Dean awakens, has a ‘teasing’ cadence that we commonly hear between friends joking around. Dean obviously doesn’t mean the ‘No thanks to you’ -he doesn’t sound angry or upset and his next comment, echoing the sentence structure of Cas’ comment, reinforces that teasing vibe.
Cas: Are you all right?
Dean: No thanks to you.
Cas: You need to be more careful.
Dean: You need to learn how to manage a damn devil’s trap.
Cas: That’s not what I mean. Uriel is dead.
Dean: Was it the demons?
Cas: It was disobedience. He was working against us.
It’s significant that when Cas tells him about Uriel, Cas uses “working against us,” as in working against the angels, Heaven, God plus Cas and Dean. It’s even more significant that Dean doesn’t ask for any details about Uriel, doesn’t follow up on how he was working against them or who killed him….
No, Dean goes straight to the question that has been consuming him since Alastair spit it at him. He asks Cas about the seal. Let’s consider this a moment. Dean could ask Bobby…or Sam… about this, and he knows that they will still care for him, they will give him an honest answer, and that they will be truthful. Neither Bobby or Sam will start hating him because he broke the first seal. And yet, Dean doesn’t say anything to them and asks Cas instead.
Why? Well, one reason could be because he doesn’t have to be strong for Cas. He doesn’t have to be Dean the big brother…Dean the best hunter in the world.. Dean the perfect son. He’s allowed to be vulnerable and weak around Cas, heck, he’s already been vulnerable around Cas.
Cas has seen him at his worst, probably covered in the blood of the victims that he tortured, and you know what? Cas still likes him. Cas is an Angel of the Freakin’ Lord. And Cas thinks that he’s worthy. That he’s the Righteous Man. If you don’t think that a large part of Dean is desperately clinging to Cas’ belief in him, hoping and wanting to believe it of himself…. Well, then you’re a lucky person who has never been at rock bottom.
And let’s take one moment to consider how easy it is for us humans to develop feelings… Romantic feelings for someone who thinks that we are awesome. Especially if we spend a lot of time thinking just the opposite.
Dean: Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?
Cas: Yes. When we discovered Lilith’s plan for you, we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to you before you-
Dean: Jump-started the apocalypse.
Cas: And we were too late.
Dean: Why didn’t you just leave me there, then?
Again, Dean shows Cas his vulnerability and his pain. He doesn’t reveal this stuff to just anyone, you know, but he does to Cas. And he trusts Cas-he doesn’t even think for a moment that Cas will use this against him, or mock him.
Cas, as best as he can, reassures Dean. It wasn’t his fault. It was meant to happen. Cas’ single-mindedness is amusingly on display here, for as much as he cares about Dean, he still doesn’t quite ‘get’ reassurances and displays of emotion.
Cas: It’s not blame that falls on you, Dean, it’s fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it.
Dean: Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean? Hey! Don’t you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean!
I have a feeling that up until Dean asks him about the details, Cas had not overtly questioned what was happening. Dean was the Righteous Man, Cas was fulfilling his orders, and if Cas had doubts or questions, that was Cas’ failure and weakness and he should learn to get over it.
But Dean is giving Cas another viewpoint-Dean wants, needs to know how he is supposed to accomplish this. Dean doesn’t think he’s strong enough. It’s one thing for Cas to consider his own private doubts and lack of faith, but it’s quite another when the Righteous Man does it. Dean validates Cas, in a way that no one else that Cas has met.
Cas: I don’t know. Dean, they don’t tell me much. I know our fate rests with you.
Dean: Well, then you guys are screwed. I can’t do it, Cas. It’s too big. Alastair was right. I’m not all here. I’m not strong enough. Well, I guess I’m not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It’s not me.
Dean is so raw and open here-he can’t do it, he admits it. He’s allowing himself to …well, Bobby would call it whine and cry… allowing himself to cry in front of Cas. Because he feels safe enough to do so.
And it’s interesting here that Dean draws such a parallel between his dad and Cas’ Father. It’s something we see time and time again between the two of them, the fact that they can relate to each other through their relationship with their fathers. Dean can’t relate to Sam in this way-Sam didn’t want to do what their father wanted, Sam didn’t want to be a ‘good son.’ Dean did and is haunted by his failures. Cas does and is driven by it.
Oh, and the familiarity in that comment- about the man both our dads wanted? Wow. When has this ever come up? When has this been a subject of conversation between them, that Dean can so easily refer to ‘our dads’ and know that Cas will get the reference and what it means to both of them? Over and over again, we see signs in season 4 that important points in their relationship are happening off-screen and this is yet one more indication.
It’s more evidence that Dean looks on Cas as an equal, someone that he can both confide in and as someone that understands him. Get it? Cas understands Dean, Cas gets Dean, and yet Cas still likes Dean. I’m harping on that, I know, but I firmly believe that it was crucial in this early stage of their relationship. Dean leans on Cas far more than we’ve seen him lean on other characters.
Cas shows pain when Dean says “It’s not me.” He swallows, blinks and looks down. And then he looks so thoughtful that I wonder if this was the point where he began a concerted effort to find out just what the Plan involved for the Wincesters. To find out for Dean’s sake so that he could reassure him. Which led to his decision to intervene on Dean’s behalf in the Rapture and all that followed from that. Which is another episode. :)