Fan Fiction
Title: Reid Slowly Tortures Chris
Rating PG
This is a future fic as the present is too depressing for me to think about. Reid is dead. It’s hard for me even to write that down. Please let me know what you think as I am a pretty nervous about this one. I miss Reid!
Six months after Reid’s death Luke was just starting to come out of his grief. He was still mourning Reid deeply, but he was starting to notice that life was still going on around him.
He was still living at the farm so that every morning he could go out to the pond and talk quietly with Reid. He was looking forward to the summer when they could finally take that swim together.. He was planning to have picnics with Reid where he would make himself one of Reid’s disgusting sandwiches and try to eat it all. These were the kinds of things that he looked forward to now.
He knew that his parents were worried about him. His mother had even tried to fix him up with someone new. Even Holden was getting impatient with him and kept insisting that Reid would have wanted Luke to be happy and move on. Luke knew in his heart that his dad was at least half right, Reid would have wanted Luke to be happy, but he was none to sure that Reid would have wanted Luke to move on with someone else. Both of his parents had suggested that he try to work things out with Noah, but Luke had no interest in reconnecting with Noah in any kind of relationship, other than friendship.
In the past six months Luke did little other than work at the foundation and at the Snyder-Oliver Pavilion. He had managed to divest himself of his interest in Grimaldi shipping with the help of Lucinda. He was happy to be done with all things Grimaldi and he felt lighter than he had in a while when he left the shipping company for the last time.
Luke still worked for the foundation, but his main focus, after Reid’s death was the Snyder-Oliver Neurosurgery Wing. He had insisted on being part of the team that would ultimately hire the neurosurgeon who would take on Reid’s dream job. It was very important to Luke to make sure that the person they hired was worthy of Reid’s position.
Bob had agreed to let Luke in on the decision making process at a moment of weakness. He had assumed that Luke would be a passive participant in the proceedings as he had no medical background. He soon found out that Luke was anything but passive in the hiring phase, and in fact found fault with each candidate, primarily because they weren’t Reid. Unfortunately, Bob couldn’t get rid of Luke, because Luke was still the one providing 80% of the funding so his hands were tied.
Bob was really at a loss as to how to deal with a grieving Luke, who was so unreasonable. He tried many different strategies in order to get Luke to agree to a particularly talented surgeon, but Luke would not budge. Bob tried everything he could think of from cajoling Luke, to placating Luke to arguing forcefully with Luke. Nothing worked. The reason for this was fairly simple. Luke remembered how cold Bob had been to Luke right after Reid had died. He remembered that Bob’s concern was only for Chris and not for Reid, when Reid had needed Bob the most. For these reasons, Luke saw no need to make life easier for Bob.
Bob, finally realized that Luke was simply not going to agree to any of his candidates so he decided that it was time for him to step down and let his son, Chris take over. He was hopeful that his son would have more luck with Luke than he had.
Just as things were starting to change inside of Luke as his grief diminished, ever so slightly, and he began to imagine that one day he might be able to move on from Reid. Things began to noticeably change inside of Chris as well. Ever since he had gotten Reid’s heart he had worried that he might take on some of Reid’s loathsome personality traits. He knew that he should be grateful to Reid, but he had hated him so much in life that it was difficult to have that burden after his death. He knew that Katie had loved Reid, albeit in a platonic, sisterly way, but he knew that he had to watch himself around Katie as she wanted him to give thanks to Reid everyday. Like that was ever going to happen Chris thought to himself. Chris was grudgingly thankful to Reid, but he also felt that he would have been okay even without all of Reid’s heroics. Chris rationalized that these were the cards that he had been given and so he would make the best of it.
Nine months to the day that Chris got his heart transplant; Bob called him into the office. Chris was pretty certain that his dad was finally going to step down and name him as chief of staff. He felt elated as he headed of to find his father’s office.
As soon as he stepped in to the room, he knew that he had been correct because not only was his dad there, but also Tom, Margo, Katie, Jacob, and his mom. “Congratulations Son, you are officially named the chief of staff at Memorial,” Bob intoned.
“Thanks Dad” Chris responded “this means so much to me, especially coming from you!”
As the other family members stood and hugged him, Chris’s enthusiasm began to wain. ‘Something doesn’t feel right about this’ Chris realized suddenly, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was..
“I had asked Luke, to join us, but he politely declined.” Bob said. “I’m quite worried about him. I don’t understand why he is still so affected by Reid’s death.”
Chris stood stock still. ‘What is going on with me today? Why did my heart skip a beat when my dad mentioned Luke’s name? Oh my god it did it again’
“Is everything alright, Chris?” Bob asked with concern as Chris had suddenly gone white.
“I’m fine, Dad” Chris tried to smile. “I’m just a little overwhelmed by all this. It is a big honour and a big responsibility.”
“Yes it is, but I wouldn’t have recommended you for the job if I didn’t think that you could handle it.”
“Oh I wish Reid could be here too. He would be so proud of you Chris. He’d be so glad that you were successful at becoming chief of staff! Chris, what is it? You just went pale are you sure that you are feeling okay?”
“I’m fine. I just can’t imagine Reid being happy for me.” Chris smiled wanly. ‘Oh my god, what is happening to me, my heart literally pulled when Katie said his name and did it again when I said it.’
Chris decided it was best to just ignore these twinges and enjoy the celebration. He was really excited about being the big boss of the hospital. Everyone had a glass of champagne to celebrate and then went to the Lakeview for a celebratory dinner.
“Is Luke joining us for dinner at the Lakeview, Bob?” Katie asked as Chris’s heart began to flutter.
“I certainly hope so” Bob replied with a frown on his face. “It would be very rude of him not to come and show his support for Chris.”
“I agree” replied Kim. “It would be very rude, if Luke didn’t come at all.”
“I won’t be offended if he is unable to make it,” Chris said. “This is probably a difficult day for him.”
“That’s nonsense” Tom said, emphatically “he should be able to put aside his personal feelings to congratulate you on your new position.”
“Let’s not push him, you know how sensitive he can be.” Chris said and everyone laughed at that.
Truthfully, Chris hoped that Luke would just stay away from him. ‘If the mere mention of his name was making his heart jump, he worried about what would happen if he saw him in person.’
“You’re so considerate, Chris and that’s why I love you” Katie said smiling radiantly.
Chris just smiled weakly back.
As luck would have it, you know who, did not come to the Lakeview. His family complained about this some more, but mercifully they stopped saying his name and Chris’s heart settled down and he was able to enjoy the celebration.
The next day when Chris woke up, he felt great. Very relaxed and he was sure that whatever had caused his heart to respond to his name would have stopped by now. Chris wasn’t quite ready to test this theory, but he was confident that everything would be fine.
As he walked into the hospital, Chris was greeted with congratulations and warm smiles from his staff. He quickly went to what was now his office and was pleased to see that it was his name that now adorned the door.
He was in the middle of finishing up some paper work when there was a light knock on the door.
“Come in, please’ Chris called out. A moment later the door opened and his dad walked in.
“Hi Dad, come on in” Chris said gesturing for his father to have a seat.
“Chris, we need to talk. One of your most difficult tasks as chief of staff is going to be dealing with Luke. I have had absolutely no luck in having him agree to a neurosurgery candidate for the new wing. I am afraid that he might never agree to anyone.”
“Well it will be nearly impossible to find anyone as good as Reid” he replied, surprising himself as much as his father. ‘Where did that come from?’
“Reid was an amazing surgeon, but he was hardly a god. Everyone can be replaced” Bob said kindly.
“Bastard” muttered Chris.
“I beg your pardon? Don’t call Reid a bastard in front of Luke or you won’t get anywhere with him.” Bob warned.
Chris let out a snort of laughter, “I won’t” he assured his father, knowing full well that he had unconsciously been referring to his father, not Reid. What he didn’t know was why.
“When is my next meeting with Luke scheduled for?” Chris heard himself ask.
“Today at 3, that is if he shows up. Well if he doesn’t let me know and maybe we can finally get him removed from the decision making process.”
“I’m sure that everything will work out Dad. Please don’t worry.”
“Good luck, Chris”
Luke was dreading the meeting with Chris. He still blamed him for Reid’s death whether Chris deserved it or not. It just seemed so unfair to him that Chris got to have a full life with Katie and Jacob and when Reid got nothing.
Everyone kept pestering Luke to get over Reid and on with his life, but Luke simply didn’t know how to do that. Last night he was expected to go and celebrate Chris becoming the chief of staff, but how was he supposed to congratulate Chris for taking one more thing from Reid. No one acknowledged that the promotion coincided with the nine month anniversary of Reid’s death and no one acknowledged that Reid deserved the position more than Chris ever would. Everyone just wanted Luke to forget about Reid like they had. Luke couldn’t do it, he didn’t even want to.
At exactly 3 o’clock Luke tapped lightly on Chris’s door.
“Come in, please” Chris replied a little nervously. He was still worried about what reaction his heart might have to the sight of Luke.
Luke sighed and entered into Chris’s office.
“Congratulations, Chris” Luke said wearily.
Chris smiled warmly at Luke “Thanks” he finally said. “Please have a seat.” Chris was starting to relax as his heart remained remarkably calm. ‘That’s more like it’ he smiled to himself ‘I am back in control.’
Chris had gone through the candidates that his father had vetted and knew which ones were his choices, but to his surprise, once he and Luke started discussing the merits of the applicants he realized that the two they agreed on were most decidedly Reid like. Chris had initially dismissed them out of hand as being too Reid like. Somehow as he began discussing things with Luke, he found himself being persuaded by the blonde one.
This turn of events was most unsettling for him. He wanted Luke to go away and leave him alone so that he could contemplate this turn of events, but he also wanted Luke to stay as he felt comforted by his presence. ‘Oh my god, where did that thought come from?’
Luke on the other hand was pleased at how well the discussions had gone. Chris was far more reasonable than Bob had ever been. Luke felt confident at last that they would be able to find a worthy candidate.
“Will you set up the interviews for us? Please send me the details so that I can be present for those meetings. I’m really glad that we were able to agree on the candidates.” Luke smiled and got up to leave.
“I’ll contact you with the details when everything is settled.” Chris forced himself to say, when what he wanted to say was don’t go, please stay. ‘I’m losing my mind’ Chris thought to himself.
“Bye Chris”
“See ya, Luke”
Chris quickly closed the door and took some calming breaths. He could feel that his heart was missing Luke. He finally knew why. It wasn’t his heart it truly was Reid’s. ‘The heart wants what the heart wants’ a voice, not unlike Reid’s whispered in his head.
‘Okay, I need a plan. I must avoid Luke as much as possible’ his heart clenched and Chris tried to ignore it. “I’ll spend as much time with Katie as I can” he muttered aloud as if that might help. ‘I’m going to phone her and arrange for us to have nice romantic night together. Sex with Katie, that’s what I need!’ But even as he thought it, his body betrayed him. He now found the idea of having sex with Katie somewhat distasteful. Instead, he tried to picture Luke naked.
Chris quickly shoved that image out of his head and called Katie.
He phoned Katie quickly.
“Hi Chris, are you coming home soon? I have a special evening planned for us.” She said with a noticeable leer in her voice.
Chris actually felt himself recoil at the invitation in her voice. “Uh, no I really need to work late tonight. I think that I may have to sleep in the on call room. Sorry to disappoint you.”
“That’s okay Chris, I understand I’m sure you’ll make it up to me soon!” she said in what Chris had always thought of as her sexy voice, but really it was just scary now.
‘How am I going to avoid Katie? I just don’t think that I can do that anymore.’ Chris shuddered; he actually shuddered at the idea of having sex with Katie. ‘Damn you, Reid what have you done to me? Am I gay now?’ the only response he received was the sound of Reid chuckling inside his head.
For the next two and a half months Chris tried to maintain his relationship with Katie with out actually having to have sex with her. He was running out of excuses, Katie actually asked him to see “someone” about his problem. Ugh!!! He should probably just break up with her, but he just couldn’t make himself do it.
At the same time he was outwardly trying to avoid Luke as well except when he had to meet with him, but secretly he was practically stalking the blonde man. He couldn’t stand being a part from Luke, but he was afraid to be with him at the same time. Luke was starting to notice Chris’s bizarre behaviour toward him if the funny looks were anything to go by. Chris didn’t know what to do.
Unfortunately, Chris had more pressing things to worry about. He and Luke had managed to hire a neurosurgeon to run the new wing and they were having a grand opening in less than two weeks. It was on the first anniversary of Reid’s death, and Luke had insisted that the party be on that day to honour him. Chris had been unable to refuse Luke. It was terrifying the power his brown eyes had over Chris.
As the date of the party grew closer Chris got more and more agitated.
“What’s wrong with you?” Katie asked reasonably the night before the big event.
“Nothing” Chris replied, terrified that she was going to pressure him for sex.
“Are you worried about the party tomorrow night?” Katie tried again.
“Yes, it’s a lot of pressure. I really want it to go well in order to honour Reid” he blurted out before he could stop himself.
“Ah Chris, that’s so sweet of you. You deserve a very special reward for that” she said in her scary sexy voice. “I’ll be right back!” she teased/warned.
‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god she is definitely going to expect something from me tonight. I’ll get into bed and pretend to be asleep. Hopefully that will head her off’ he thought hopefully.
Chris was trapped. He was going to have to perform tonight or Katie was going to haul his ass to a specialist.
So Chris did what he had to do. He had sex with Katie while he fantasized about Luke. Thinking about Luke was so erotic that he accidentally called out Luke when he came.
“Did you just call out Luke’s name while you were in bed with me???” Katie said astonished.
‘I am going to hell’ he thought hearing Reid’s self satisfied smirk in his head.
“No, of course not, why would I do that? I called out you, because I love you Katie” Chris tried desperately to placate her.
“Alright, I’ll let it go, but don’t do it again! My name is Katie and that’s what I want to hear, okay?”
“Yes, Katie” he said with a smile.
The day of the opening had arrived and Luke was feeling nervous and excited. He really wanted tonight to go well so that everyone could celebrate Reid’s accomplishments. He knew that many people would not think of tonight in that way, but he would and that was what mattered to him. Tonight was his way of saying a public good-bye to Reid. He felt that he was finally ready to move on and at least think about being with someone new. He knew that he would always love Reid, but sadly Reid was dead and Luke really needed to rejoin the living. So tonight was an ending for Luke, as well as a beginning.
Luke was starting to worry about Chris. He hadn’tseen much of the other man in the last three months, but every time he happened to run into Chris he felt himself being watched. It was creepy. It always felt like Chris was cruising him, which of course wasn’t possible as Chris was straight. None the less, it made Luke very uncomfortable. He hoped that Chris would just leave him alone tonight.
As soon as Luke walked into the ballroom he felt people staring at him. He was used to that and it didn’t really bother him. He knew without turning around that Chris was staring at him with that weird, haunted look of wanting. Luke didn’t want to have to deal with Chris tonight so he decided that he would just ignore the other man and work the room.
Chris couldn’t tear his eyes away from Luke, he was so beautiful tonight. Luke was wearing a custom made black tuxedo with a crisp white linen shirt and a black bow tie and cumber bun. Chris had never seen anyone look as perfect as Luke Snyder.
“Who are you staring at?” Katie asked pointedly.
“Uh…no one, I was just thinking of you” he smiled weakly at her.
Katie didn’t buy it, she followed Chris’s sight line and saw to her surprise that Chris had been staring at Luke.
“Oh my god, Chris you were staring at Luke Snyder!!! You’re in love with Luke!!” Katie screamed hysterically as everyone, including Luke turned to stare at the couple.
“Katie, I can explain…” he pleaded with her quietly.
“Explain??? You called out Luke when we were having sex last night. Explain that” she demanded.
Bob, trying to maintain some semblance of decorum quickly walked over to his son. “So Chris are you gay? It’s okay to be gay, you know” he said gently trying desperately to diffuse the situation.
“I’m not gay, Dad” Chris began.
“Well you’re not straight either. You won’t have sex with me for months, and then when you finally do you call out Luke’s name! Call me crazy, but I think that may be a sign that you’re gay.” Katie hollered.
Bob put a comforting hand on Chris’s shoulder.
“It’s not me, Dad it’s Reid” Chris tried to explain.
Bob just gazed back at him with a patronizing look on his face.
“I know it sounds crazy, but Reid is in my head and his heart belongs to Luke”
Luke had come over to Chris and Katie to hear this latest development. “Can’t you feel the pull of Reid’s heart when you are near me? I can feel it. I can feel it right now. There is a special warmth that floods my body whenever you are close to me. "Don’t you feel it too?”
“No, I felt that when I was with Reid, though.”
“Well, his heart still feels it, believe me. It won’t let me go. He really loved you Luke.”
“I know” Luke whispered back. “I really loved him too.”
“I have never felt this way about anybody before. It’s almost painful to be separated from you. Oh my god. Is this why it is so hard for you to get over Reid? I am so sorry, I had no idea.”
“Well, you must have had some idea; you knew that they were in love. It can’t be a total surprise” Katie sniped at Chris.
“I’ve been in love before, I have never felt like this before. My god, I feel like Luke is the other half of my soul. I feel completely alive and whole when I’m near Luke. Oh thank god I’ve figured it out. We can be together, just the two of us from now on.”
“No, we can’t Chris. I don’t want to be with you. Reid was my soul mate and you are decidedly not Reid.” Luke replied.
“But…but…I’ll never feel whole without you. What am I supposed to do?”
“The same thing that I’ve had to do, move onto something else.”
“I can’t, I don’t want anyone else, just you, forever.”
“I’m sorry Chris, but I don’t want you at all, ever.”