fic: Falling - chapter 5
Tiitle: Falling
Author: anwamane13
Genre/Type: Romance/ Drama
Rating:NC-17
Betas: rajcajn , traciamc , eimeark
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Reid , Noah, Bob, Holden, Lily, Katie
Warnings: violence/sex/strong language
Chapter V
Two weeks later and Luke’s days had fallen into a routine: wake up, have breakfast, go to the Foundation to get some work done. At eleven, take Noah to therapy, wait for him while chatting with Casey or Alison, take Noah back home, have lunch with him. After lunch, go back to the Foundation, work some more. At five, take Noah to therapy again, wait for him, take him home, and make him rest a little until dinner. Have dinner with Noah, Lily and the kids. Chat with Noah in the living room, sometimes watch a DVD until ten. Go to bed, sleep, dream. Wake up. Do it all over again.
There was only one different thing about his days: Reid. The doctor would send him a message every night, scheduling something for the next day. Sometimes it would be breakfast at a diner or at the hospital’s cafeteria, sometimes just a cup of coffee at Java; other times Reid would ask Luke to meet him at the now under construction neurology wing so they could discuss the project. The doctor wasn’t even pretending anymore that Bob Hughes was fully in his place in the project. Whenever Reid called and said he wanted to discuss the project, Luke would go eagerly, anxious to hear Reid’s opinions about the new wing. Reid didn’t go to the meetings with the architects anymore, but he was still very much in control of the wing. Luke couldn’t call their meetings a ‘date’, but they did meet every single day, including weekends.
During the whole time they spent together, they didn’t kiss once. Luke was glad for that, because he needed some time to put his life into perspective. Well, partially glad. Being with Reid everyday and keeping away from his touch was a very hard thing to do. Not that Reid tried to start anything, the doctor would always keep his hands to himself; but a part of Luke, deep down, expected him to do it and got a little too much frustrated when he didn’t. .His moments with the doctor were light, full of banter and smiles - Reid had such a beautiful smile and, because it was so rare, Luke loved to see it, especially when he was the one causing it. Whenever he was with Reid, Luke felt peaceful, giddy and smiled a lot.
Things with Noah were…fine. Luke was glad that Noah was okay. Noah was happy and really, in Luke’s dictionary, that was all that mattered. He felt a profound love for Noah that, he suspected, would never go away. Luke needed to know that Noah was happy and alright. It made him feel really good, like something in this world was fair, was as it was supposed to be. Noah had gone through so much…he deserved all the happiness in the world. He was raised without a mother, with a psycho authoritarian asshole as a father, realizing he was gay and without anyone to talk about it. It must’ve been hard. Luke knew how lucky he was having Lily and Holden, even if Lily initially didn’t accept him being gay and had let Damien get in the way. He still had his friends, like Will, and Holden was the best father ever.
Noah was one of the most important people in Luke’s life. Luke loved the time they spent together, chatting until late at night, like they had no worries in the world. Whenever he picked up Noah from therapy, the brunette would talk the whole time like an excited little boy until they got home, Luke found this completely endearing and irresistibly cute. He loved to spend time with Noah, he had been his first love, his first everything, and also was his best friend.
So…why couldn’t Luke kiss him? Every time Noah tried to give him a kiss on the mouth, Luke would turn his face and the kiss would end up on Luke’s cheek. Luke didn’t understand how he could think about Reid kissing him - even if it hadn’t happened lately - but he couldn’t think about Noah’s kisses? Noah’s kisses, which he used to love so much and missed like hell when they broke up?
Fearing that he was subconsciously punishing Noah for pushing him away when he was blind, Luke redoubled his efforts and tried to be extra nice and attentive. It wasn’t the same Noah anymore, Luke kept telling himself. This one was the old Noah, the sweet guy who would never hurt Luke, and not the blind one who seemed to be always looking for new ways to push him away. This Noah deserved his boyfriend back. But Luke couldn’t be that old guy anymore, because he had changed too much in the last months, and for that, he felt sorry, and guilty. So, whenever he was with Noah, Luke felt confused, guilty and torn between deep affection and a little bit of resentment.
When Reid’s message didn’t come one Wednesday night, Luke missed it, but didn’t care. Maybe Reid was in a night shift, maybe in surgery, maybe with a patient. But the following night Reid didn’t call again and Luke started to worry. He wanted to call him, but he didn’t want to make a fool of himself, because Reid had never said that they would see each other every day; they just did, and that was it.
Luke tried to ask Noah if he had seen the doctor at the hospital but Noah didn’t answer and Luke assumed the other man hadn’t heard him, and didn’t ask again. Thinking about it, I was a little ridiculous to ask of Noah about Reid. Luke felt bad hiding from Noah what was going on between him and the doctor. And, truth to be told, he wasn’t sure what was going on anymore. From the way it looked, he and Reid were only good friends, who had kissed each other a couple of times. Or, it could be that Reid was respecting his need to decide things by himself and giving him time.
Luke felt bad, like a cheating boyfriend, when he waited for Noah to sleep and grabbed his cell phone, deciding to call Reid, when he hadn’t heard from the doctor three days later. This was completely bull, because Luke and Noah were not boyfriends. Neither were Luke and Reid. He told himself that he was just worried that Reid hadn’t sent him any messages. He was worried about his friend; that was it. So, when Noah went to bed, Luke called the doctor, and when the call went straight to voicemail, Luke got even more worried.
…
On Wednesday morning, Reid had left the ICU with the hint of a smile on his face. His patient was getting better, already out of the mechanical ventilator, fully awake and starting to eat small amounts of food. Life was good. Reid was glad that she had pulled through the surgery; now it was time for recovery and therapy. Like Noah.
The doctor frowned when he thought about his patient. He didn’t dislike Noah, he truly didn’t. Noah was polite, had an easy smile and seemed to be a good guy in general. And, Reid thought, he had to be special, or Luke wouldn’t love him so much. Had loved. Still loved. Was in love with. Wasn’t. Shit, this was so confusing that it was getting ridiculous. Anyway, what Reid didn’t like was the fact that Noah treated Luke like he was an insect. Or at least had treated, before he regained his sight.
Shaking his head, Reid went to his office and sat down behind his desk. Opening his day planner, he looked at the name of his next patient. “MAYER, Noah - Follow up.” Reid sighed. Speaking of the devil…the last thing he wanted today was to see Noah and Luke together, because the blond would probably come with his…with Noah.
Luke. Reid allowed him a moment to think about him. Since deciding he would win Luke - as ridiculous as the term ‘win’ someone sounded - Reid also decided he wasn’t going to kiss Luke anymore. Unless the blond wanted to kiss him and initiated something, because it wasn’t fair to himself. Reid knew he was completely into Luke and, knowing Luke was still undecided between him and Noah, it would hurt much more if he tasted Luke’s kiss again and had to let him go. He found a way to penetrate Reid’s walls, and now the doctor was a little lost, without knowing what to do with the fact that Luke was on his mind all the time, the only exception being when Reid was in the operating room.
Reid had never been in a real relationship, not one that lasted, but he wanted one with Luke. He couldn’t remember wanting something not related to medicine so much before. But the thing was that…he wanted Luke to want him back. He didn’t want to force anything, or start something with the blond just to see Luke regretting it later. Luke already knew what Reid wanted; it was time for the blond to decide what he wanted. So Reid figured he would just be around, see Luke every day, and try to be less acerbic and more - ugh - nice. Just so Luke wouldn’t forget him. If Luke wanted him, he was confident the blond would tell him so, or Reid would get the hint, because Luke wore his heart on his sleeve. If Luke chose Noah, Reid would know, because Luke would never be able to hide it; his eyes and his open manners would tell.
Reid had entered his office by the back door; he hated when he walked in by the front door and had to listen to the patients in the waiting room complaining that they had been waiting too long. Every patient in the world should know that doctors never arrive on time, because they’re often with other patients who need their attention too. Especially someone like Reid, with a waiting list so long he couldn’t even count. He was very dedicated to his patients but he would be very glad if they understood, if he didn’t arrive on time, it wasn’t because he was lazy or sleeping or having fun; it was because he was taking care of someone else.
“Helen” he said to his secretary through the speaker, “Has Mr. Mayer arrived?”
“Yes, doctor.”
“Send him in.”
Noah arrived alone. He shook Reid’s hand, sat down in front of him and gave him the report about his progress that the therapist had sent to Reid. He remained silent during the time it took for Reid to read the report. Then, they started a polite conversation in which Reid tried to avoid Luke’s name at all costs, telling himself that he didn’t care and wasn’t going to have his hopes up just because Luke hadn’t come with Noah.
When the time for the physical examination came, Reid called his nurse assistant, basically because he wanted to keep his time alone with Noah to a minimum. He told himself again that he wasn’t dislike for his patient - just the way he treated Luke - but in face of the animosity Noah had recently showed towards him -which was surprisingly absent today - Reid thought it would be wiser to have someone else with him during the exam.
Noah was fine; in fact, he was great. Reid made a complete physical examination and Noah’s condition was excellent; his sight had returned almost completely; it was up to 95% now. His right hand’s movement was still slow, but it was considerably better. Only Noah’s memory had made no progress, but Reid wasn’t worried, considering that Noah’s brain had bled and he could’ve ended up as a vegetable if Reid hadn’t stopped the bleeding in time. The memory loss could revert in time; or not. But it wouldn’t affect Noah’s physical progress or his ability to fully live his life.
Reid thanked the nurse and asked her to leave them alone after Noah put his clothes back on. Then he sat behind his desk again and motioned for Noah to sit down while he wrote on Noah’s clipboard.
“Here,” he said, while writing a new prescription for Noah’s eyes. “Use this drops every four hours. And I want to see you in a month; unless you feel anything, then just call Helen and say you’re coming.”
“Thanks, Dr. Oliver,” Noah said, appearing grateful and relieved.
“Any questions?” Reid asked, relieved that he had been able to go through this without Noah’s animosity coming back and without talking about a certain blond.
“Yeah, I have a question; in fact, I have two.”
“Okay.”
Noah’s back straightened anxiously and he leaned a bit forward. “Can I go back to college?”
Reid considered that for a few seconds. “As long as you don’t over-do it, and don’t take too many classes…yes, you can go back; it may be even good for you.”
“Thanks, doctor,” Noah got up smiling and shook Reid’s hand. “It was a pleasure seeing you.”
“Wait…didn’t you say you had another question?”
“Oh, yeah! That’s right, I have!” Noah’s face lit up like a boy on Christmas Eve. He sat down again, smiling at Reid. “My boyfriend and I, we…want to move in together. Do you think I can?”
Reid felt a pang in his chest and he had to make a real effort not to wince. “I don’t see why it would be a problem, Mr. Mayer.”
“The thing is…I love his mom and the kids, but…we need some time alone. We have an apartment, I mean, we had. We were living together when the accident happened. Gosh, it’s so strange to talk about it in the past! It feels like it was yesterday since we were in our own home.”
“I’m sure you’ll get used to it,” Reid said, not moving a muscle of his face.
“When I knew it had been so many months since the accident, I was worried that Luke had…given up on me, on us. But today he told me our apartment is in the same condition we left it. Luke left everything the way it was when we were living together. I guess that says a lot about his feelings for me, don’t you think?”
“I’m not a sentimental advisor, Mr. Mayer.”
“Okay, sorry.” Noah smiled sheepishly. “I, um, I forgot that your bedside manners suck. I was just…I’m so happy that he waited all his time, that he kept our house intact, waiting for us and that now we can get back to it, reconnect and start again.”
“Again,” Reid said, “I see no point in you telling me this.”
“Well, you see…now that we’re really going to spend time alone, with no one to interrupt us…I was wondering if…I’m allowed to…you know, if I’m allowed to…”
Reid felt a cold hand a cold hand gripping his insides. “Have sex?” he decided to be direct and be done with it.
Noah blushed. “Um…yeah, that’s it.”
Reid refrained from sighing tiredly. “If you take it easy…yes, you’re allowed to have sex.”
Thank you, Dr. Oliver!” Noah got up in a rush, shook Reid’s hand enthusiastically and left the room.
Reid didn’t even blink. “Helen,” he said to the speaker,” Send the next patient in.”
…
When Reid’s cell phone went to voicemail, Luke decided to call the hospital. He wasn’t going to ask to talk to Reid or anything, but he wanted to know if the doctor was working the night shifts that week. It would explain why Reid had suddenly disappeared for three days after two weeks of seeing each other constantly. But Reid wasn’t there, and Luke’s anxiety grew, inexplicably. He knew Reid had a very busy life, hectic even, and if he couldn’t call because he was working, it was okay. But he wasn’t working and he wasn’t answering his calls. What the hell could the reason for this be?
Luke thought about it for some time and decided to call Katie’s apartment. Again, no one answered. Looking at is watch, he flinched. It was already nine PM. Katie was probably sleeping. But he knew that Reid never slept early, so why wasn’t he answering? Luke decided to throw caution to the wind and called Katie’s cell phone.
“Luke?” said Katie, worry in her voice.
“Sorry to call you at this time, Katie…But I need to talk to Reid and…he’s not answering his cell phone.”
“Something happened to Noah?” she wanted to know.
“Oh, no! Don’t worry. It’s just that…we…I have an important meeting tomorrow and I want to talk to him about the…uh…the new wing.” Luke closed his eyes, flinching at the lame excuse.
“Oh.” She said with a knowing voice. “He was home when I left. Chris invited me and Jacob to have dinner with him, Bob and Kim.”
“Well, I’ll keep trying. I’ll call him again.”
“Don’t waste your time. He said he was going to leave his cell phone inside his briefcase. I think he can be reached through his beeper, but only the hospital has the number, and tonight he left someone else in his place in case someone needs it. Oh, and I doubt he heard the phone ringing at home, considering the way he was.”
“The way he was?”
“He has been having this monster headache, I think since…Wednesday. Today he came home with a strong painkiller, said another doctor was covering for him and disappeared inside his bedroom. He didn’t even eat.”
“Look, I really need to talk to him.”
“Can’t you wait until tomorrow?”
Luke couldn’t explain why, but he needed to talk to Reid tonight. He had to. In fact, he needed to see him. “No. it can’t.”
“Gosh…Look, if it’s this urgent, why don’t you go there?”
…
Luke did as Kate had told him and looked for the key inside the plant vase. Apparently she left it there for Henry, who lost his keychain. When he got inside, the first thing he noted was that the house was completely dark, not even a light in the kitchen. He closed the door softly and went straight to Reid’s bedroom.
He didn’t know what he expected to find there. It was dark too, except from the moonlight coming from the open window. Reid was lying on the bed, covered just from his waist down, apparently sleeping calmly. Luke sighed and prepared to leave, because obviously he wouldn’t be inconsiderate and wake the man up, but then Reid’s beeper went off.
Luke stood there, paralyzed, while Reid’s hand appeared from under the covers, grabbed the beeper, turned it off, then picked up his cell phone and pressed speed dial. Then the doctor put the phone on his ear, not even bothering to open his eyes while doing all this. He had obviously done it countless times in his life.
“Yes, this is Dr. Oliver.” his voice was low and laced with sleep, but the words were clear. “Okay, put him on. Hello, Jameson, what happened? Yeah, he’s not my patient but I’ve heard of the case. No, I don’t believe its encephalitis, but if he has brain swelling…have you started Mannitol and Dexamethasone already? What about the CT? Oh. Okay, then it may be bacterial or viral. Why don’t you start Cefotaxime and Gancyclovir? Is he stable? Alright, I see, schedule a MRI for tomorrow morning then. I’ll be there first thing in the morning.”
It was only when Reid opened his eyes and turned to put the phone back on the bedside table that he saw Luke standing there. “What the hell?” he said, turning on the small lamp on the bedside table. “You almost gave me a heart attack,” he said, sitting up, rubbing his eyes.
“I…Um…I - I’m sorry.” Luke stammered, uncomfortable. What excuse did he have for invading Reid’s privacy like that? None that he could think of. “I.....I just…never mind. I’m leaving. Sorry again.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I…I was worried about you,” Luke said, body half-turned to go.
“Worried? Why?”
“You didn’t call.”
“And? Is that a reason to come here in the middle of the night to watch me sleep? This is freaking weird, even for you.”
“Uh…It’s only nine-thirty.”
“Oh.” Reid frowned, looking around. “Whatever. You couldn’t have waited until tomorrow? I’m sure whatever it is that you want could - “
“You would keep ignoring my calls like you did today. I had to come, I wanted to…talk.”
Reid looked annoyed, but motioned for Luke to get inside. “Sit down,” he said, and the blond looked around seeing that there was no chair in the room. “You can sit on the bed,” the doctor deadpanned, while grabbing a t-shirt from the headboard and putting it on. “I won’t try anything against your virtue.”
Luke sat down on the corner of the bed, the farthest from Reid that he could manage.
“Okay,” Reid said, wearing his usual blank face. “You said you wanted to talk. Then talk.”
Suddenly all thought fled Luke’s mind and jumped out the window. All he could think of saying was the true reason for his sudden visit. “I haven’t heard from you for three days.”
Reid arched his eyebrows and pursed his lips, but his eyes didn’t change from their blank expression. “I thought I should give you some time to adjust to your new home. Or…your old home. Whatever.”
Luke frowned, puzzled. “New home?”
“Oh, you didn’t move to your love nest yet?”
Luks scratched his head. “What the hell you’re talking about?”
“Yours and Noah’s love nest, obviously. Haven’t you moved yet?”
“I - I’m not moving, especially with Noah. What gave you that idea?” Reid got up and Luke had to avert his eyes, because the man was only in his cotton boxers and his t-shirt and looked incredibly sexy, especially with bed head.
“Your boyfriend kindly informed me during his follow-up consultation.” Reid’s face was like set in stone when he turned to face Luke.
“What?”
The genuine puzzlement on Luke’s face made Reid’s face soften a little. “Noah had a follow-up consultation on Wednesday with me.” The doctor started, patiently. “During which he informed me you kept the old apartment you lived in together and now you’re moving in again. Both of you,” the last sentence was more like an accusation, even if Reid tried to keep the neutral tone.
..
“What about our old apartment, Luke?” Noah wanted to know one night.
“It’s still there,” Luke said, smiling a little. “It’s still exactly the way we left it.” The truth was that Luke was unable to force himself to go back there, since the accident. He knew the empty place would make him more sad, especially when Noah started to treat him badly and pushed him away.
“So…it’s still there…” Noah smiled brightly.
“Yep. I wanted to wait for you to get better, so we could decide what to do with the place.” Luke shrugged. “I’m almost sure that some of your stuff is still there.”
“Can you take me there?” Noah wanted to know.
“Sure…I’ll ask Mrs. Yates to clean it and we’ll go there one of these days.”
..
“Reid…” Luke said, confused. “I don’t know why Noah said that to you. We talked about the apartment, but all he said was that he wanted me to take him there some time and I said I would. We never spoke about moving back in together.”
“You didn’t even…You left the place the way it was when you two lived there.” Reid didn’t want to sound like a jealous guy, but he couldn’t help it. “What, you’ve been paying the rent all this time?” Reid went to the window, his back turned to Luke, so the blond wouldn’t see the anger written all over his face.
“Um…I never had to pay for it. The apartment is my mother’s. Noah doesn’t know that. He was always too proud for his own good.”
Reid didn’t say anything else. He just stood there facing the dark street through the window trying to keep calm. Luke got up and went to him, stopping one step from the doctor.
”Reid…I left everything the way it was because I didn’t want to go there, after the accident. I didn’t want to see what I had lost, especially since Noah blamed me and pushed me away. And when you arrived in Oakdale, and all the uncertainty about the surgery, the neurology wing, us working together…the truth is that I completely forgot about the place. I didn’t even think about it anymore…just the other day when Noah asked about it.”
Reid still didn’t answer. Luke tentatively put a hand on his shoulder and smiled when Reid didn’t shrug his hand off. “You believe me, don’t you?”
“It’s not as if you owe me any explanation,” Reid said softly. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“Maybe I don’t. But I owe it to myself…to do what I want; to be with someone when I want to.”
Reid sighed, but didn’t turn around, not wanting Luke to see the turmoil in his face.
“I’m not moving in with Noah. He totally misunderstood our conversation. We’re not back together.” Luke slowly forced Reid to turn around and face him. “And I’m here,” he whispered.
“I can see that, but…Why are you here, Luke?” Reid asked, eyes storming.
“Because I missed you. And I…can’t stop this feeling any longer. I want to be with you.”
Reid’s eyes locked on Luke’s and for a few seconds they didn’t move.
“I care about you Reid, and I hope you’re okay with the fact that I’m going to kiss you now,” Luke said in a low and husky tone.
“Thank God,” Reid said, in a soft breath.
The kiss started as a tender one, a simple brush of their lips, and they held each other, wanting to be closer. When Luke couldn’t suppress a small moan, Reid immediately pushed his tongue inside Luke’s mouth, eager to taste him, and his hand went to the back of Luke’s neck, deepening the kiss.
Luke felt like he was floating. His heart was beating fast and he couldn’t control it. He didn’t even want to move, afraid to break the kiss, wake up and realize that he was dreaming. He knew what he wanted to happen, and it was almost hard to believe that it looked like it was actually going to happen.
They broke the kiss, but they didn’t move at first. Reid looked at the blond and it was as if he was silently asking for permission to go on. Luke held Reid’s gaze and smiled, trying to say yes, he wanted to be here, he wanted this, but he couldn’t say a word. So he nodded a little and kissed Reid’s lips softly. Reid’s face lit up with a small but beautiful smile and he returned the kiss, resting his hands possessively on the small of Luke’s back.
They stared at each other for a few seconds, and then Reid started to unbutton Luke’s shirt slowly, trying to give the young man time to adjust to the situation. But, as more skin was exposed, their breaths turned to soft gasps because they wanted each other with an intensity that amazed both men. Reid’s movements became more urgent and soon the shirt was slipping to the floor. Luke’s trembling hands grabbed the hem of Reid’s t-shirt and he took it off Reid in one fluid movement. Bodies touched and they moved together, kissing again. Luke’s pants and underwear joined the shirts on the floor, followed by Reid’s boxers, neither man wanting to stay away from the other for even a second.
Reid’s hands were like fire on Luke’s skin. He traced every inch of Luke’s back and torso, then his arms and shoulders, stopping at the back of Luke’s neck. He started kissing Luke’s neck, marveling at the ivory skin, smiling a little at Luke’s soft gasps. The redhead could hardly believe that Luke, the brat with a silver spoon that he used to dislike so much, the most accurate personification of Richie Rich he had ever known, had transformed in a person he wanted so much, someone whose opinion and feelings mattered so much to him. Having Luke in his arms felt right like nothing else and Reid knew that he was going to do anything to keep him there.
Luke trembled under Reid’s touch, head spinning madly like a crazy carousel. He had no idea that Reid’s touch could turn him on like that, but deep down he knew it wasn’t just lust. Something inside his heart was fluttering; a pleasant and warm feeling long forgotten after months of loneliness and uncertainty. For the first time in what he knew was a very long time, he felt like everything was alright.
Reid broke the kiss and eyed Luke again with such intensity that the blond felt his heart stop at the want he saw there. No one, not even Noah, had looked at him like that. Luke tried to transmit the same message with his eyes, as he silently took Reid’s hand and walked a few steps back until they reached the bed. Reid followed him, eyes glued to his, seeming to search inside Luke’s very soul. Luke sat and slowly lay on the bed, Reid silently following him, their hands still intertwined.
There were no clothes between them, but the initial urgency had gone for now. Their hands softly and slowly explored each other’s every curve, learning contours and mapping muscles they didn’t want to forget. It was beautiful, peaceful and at the same time, the most sexy thing they had ever experienced.
Reid’s hand traveled slowly to Luke’s back and the young man arched, giving him access. When Reid touched Luke’s bare ass, Luke closed his eyes and threw his head back, exposing his throat, and Reid shuddered, because it had to be the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Heart beating fast, Reid kissed Luke’s neck and, hearing Luke’s soft moan made him growl, although he didn’t even noticed. But Luke heard it and opened his eyes, staring intently at him.
“Reid…”
Reid shuddered at his name on Luke’s lips. The things this guy could do to him amazed and scared him at the same time. He knew it was his fault that he had never allowed himself to feel what he was feeling now; but he didn’t regret it, because it was almost as if he had been waiting the whole time for this, for this man in his arms, this annoying kid, to finally make his walls come crashing down one by one.
“Reid…” Luke said again, this time pleading.
“Luke…” Reid closed his eyes, trying to control himself, or this would end too fast. He took a few breaths and opened his eyes again. “What do you want, Luke? Tell me.”
“I want you,” Luke breathed.
Without a word, Reid stretched his arm until he reached the bedside table’s small drawer. He retrieved a condom and lube and put them beside Luke’s head. It wasn’t time for words, and even if Reid wanted, he knew there was no words that would be enough for what he was feeling when he heard Luke wanted him; because he wanted Luke so, so badly it was getting hard to breath.
When Reid’s coated fingers started to prepare him, Luke gave a small whimper, wanting to close his eyes and simply feel. He was glad he didn’t, because when he looked at Reid, what he read in the other’s blue eyes made everything stop. In that moment, Luke Snyder didn’t need any words to know he had found a true treasure; the heart of someone who protected his feelings like a lion. And he knew he would never, could never throw that treasure away.
Luke grabbed the condom, not wanting Reid’s touch to leave him, and put it slowly on Reid. Only then, Reid’s hand left him and the older man hovered over Luke. “Are you okay?” he asked. Luke could only nod, because he didn’t trust himself to speak.
Then Reid went slowly inside, inch by inch, until all he could feel, smell, hear and see was Luke, around him, separating him from the rest of the world, leaving space for nothing else. He kissed Luke slowly, feeling their connection so strongly any sudden movement would be too much.
Luke’s hand searched for his, a silent indication that he was fine, and their fingers linked again, palms sweaty and hot. It was Reid who started to move, at first just a little, barely thrusting inside, taking his time, wanting this to last forever. Luke arched his back and threw his head back, lost in the feeling of Reid everywhere. It was slow at first, but when Reid increased the pace, Luke’ grabbed his shoulders, fingers leaving marks on Reid’s skin.
“Oh God,” Luke moaned, unable to remain silent.
It was like breaking a dam. With a guttural moan, Reid started to go faster and deeper with each thrust, and suddenly it was all heat and storm and now, like a giant wave crashing around them drowning both men in a spiral of movement and sweat. They couldn’t stop now, both completely lost in each other, the previous silent bedroom filled by moans, until Luke opened his mouth in a silent gasp, stars exploding behind his eyes. Reid kissed him, swallowing his moans, his brain turning to jelly as his whole body trembled with the strength of his own release.
It took them some time to come back down to Earth. Reid recovered first, disentangling himself slowly from Luke, who had his eyes closed, the pure image of bliss. The older man discarded the condom on the nearby trash can and grabbed some tissues to clean them both. Only when he felt Reid’s hands on him, Luke opened his eyes and smiled.
Reid kissed Luke softly on the lips. “Will you stay a while?”
Luke didn’t even think twice. Smiling, he threw his arms around Reid’s neck. “Yeah.” He wanted to say that it had been wonderful, that he had never imagined he would feel that kind of emotion - that crazy mix of lust and tenderness - again, but looking at Reid he knew the other man understood. Luke closed his eyes and turned to one side, Reid molding himself behind him, holding Luke as close as possible. Together, they drifted off to sleep, soft smiles on their lips.
Author: anwamane13
Genre/Type: Romance/ Drama
Rating:NC-17
Betas: rajcajn , traciamc , eimeark
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Reid , Noah, Bob, Holden, Lily, Katie
Warnings: violence/sex/strong language
Chapter V
Two weeks later and Luke’s days had fallen into a routine: wake up, have breakfast, go to the Foundation to get some work done. At eleven, take Noah to therapy, wait for him while chatting with Casey or Alison, take Noah back home, have lunch with him. After lunch, go back to the Foundation, work some more. At five, take Noah to therapy again, wait for him, take him home, and make him rest a little until dinner. Have dinner with Noah, Lily and the kids. Chat with Noah in the living room, sometimes watch a DVD until ten. Go to bed, sleep, dream. Wake up. Do it all over again.
There was only one different thing about his days: Reid. The doctor would send him a message every night, scheduling something for the next day. Sometimes it would be breakfast at a diner or at the hospital’s cafeteria, sometimes just a cup of coffee at Java; other times Reid would ask Luke to meet him at the now under construction neurology wing so they could discuss the project. The doctor wasn’t even pretending anymore that Bob Hughes was fully in his place in the project. Whenever Reid called and said he wanted to discuss the project, Luke would go eagerly, anxious to hear Reid’s opinions about the new wing. Reid didn’t go to the meetings with the architects anymore, but he was still very much in control of the wing. Luke couldn’t call their meetings a ‘date’, but they did meet every single day, including weekends.
During the whole time they spent together, they didn’t kiss once. Luke was glad for that, because he needed some time to put his life into perspective. Well, partially glad. Being with Reid everyday and keeping away from his touch was a very hard thing to do. Not that Reid tried to start anything, the doctor would always keep his hands to himself; but a part of Luke, deep down, expected him to do it and got a little too much frustrated when he didn’t. .His moments with the doctor were light, full of banter and smiles - Reid had such a beautiful smile and, because it was so rare, Luke loved to see it, especially when he was the one causing it. Whenever he was with Reid, Luke felt peaceful, giddy and smiled a lot.
Things with Noah were…fine. Luke was glad that Noah was okay. Noah was happy and really, in Luke’s dictionary, that was all that mattered. He felt a profound love for Noah that, he suspected, would never go away. Luke needed to know that Noah was happy and alright. It made him feel really good, like something in this world was fair, was as it was supposed to be. Noah had gone through so much…he deserved all the happiness in the world. He was raised without a mother, with a psycho authoritarian asshole as a father, realizing he was gay and without anyone to talk about it. It must’ve been hard. Luke knew how lucky he was having Lily and Holden, even if Lily initially didn’t accept him being gay and had let Damien get in the way. He still had his friends, like Will, and Holden was the best father ever.
Noah was one of the most important people in Luke’s life. Luke loved the time they spent together, chatting until late at night, like they had no worries in the world. Whenever he picked up Noah from therapy, the brunette would talk the whole time like an excited little boy until they got home, Luke found this completely endearing and irresistibly cute. He loved to spend time with Noah, he had been his first love, his first everything, and also was his best friend.
So…why couldn’t Luke kiss him? Every time Noah tried to give him a kiss on the mouth, Luke would turn his face and the kiss would end up on Luke’s cheek. Luke didn’t understand how he could think about Reid kissing him - even if it hadn’t happened lately - but he couldn’t think about Noah’s kisses? Noah’s kisses, which he used to love so much and missed like hell when they broke up?
Fearing that he was subconsciously punishing Noah for pushing him away when he was blind, Luke redoubled his efforts and tried to be extra nice and attentive. It wasn’t the same Noah anymore, Luke kept telling himself. This one was the old Noah, the sweet guy who would never hurt Luke, and not the blind one who seemed to be always looking for new ways to push him away. This Noah deserved his boyfriend back. But Luke couldn’t be that old guy anymore, because he had changed too much in the last months, and for that, he felt sorry, and guilty. So, whenever he was with Noah, Luke felt confused, guilty and torn between deep affection and a little bit of resentment.
When Reid’s message didn’t come one Wednesday night, Luke missed it, but didn’t care. Maybe Reid was in a night shift, maybe in surgery, maybe with a patient. But the following night Reid didn’t call again and Luke started to worry. He wanted to call him, but he didn’t want to make a fool of himself, because Reid had never said that they would see each other every day; they just did, and that was it.
Luke tried to ask Noah if he had seen the doctor at the hospital but Noah didn’t answer and Luke assumed the other man hadn’t heard him, and didn’t ask again. Thinking about it, I was a little ridiculous to ask of Noah about Reid. Luke felt bad hiding from Noah what was going on between him and the doctor. And, truth to be told, he wasn’t sure what was going on anymore. From the way it looked, he and Reid were only good friends, who had kissed each other a couple of times. Or, it could be that Reid was respecting his need to decide things by himself and giving him time.
Luke felt bad, like a cheating boyfriend, when he waited for Noah to sleep and grabbed his cell phone, deciding to call Reid, when he hadn’t heard from the doctor three days later. This was completely bull, because Luke and Noah were not boyfriends. Neither were Luke and Reid. He told himself that he was just worried that Reid hadn’t sent him any messages. He was worried about his friend; that was it. So, when Noah went to bed, Luke called the doctor, and when the call went straight to voicemail, Luke got even more worried.
…
On Wednesday morning, Reid had left the ICU with the hint of a smile on his face. His patient was getting better, already out of the mechanical ventilator, fully awake and starting to eat small amounts of food. Life was good. Reid was glad that she had pulled through the surgery; now it was time for recovery and therapy. Like Noah.
The doctor frowned when he thought about his patient. He didn’t dislike Noah, he truly didn’t. Noah was polite, had an easy smile and seemed to be a good guy in general. And, Reid thought, he had to be special, or Luke wouldn’t love him so much. Had loved. Still loved. Was in love with. Wasn’t. Shit, this was so confusing that it was getting ridiculous. Anyway, what Reid didn’t like was the fact that Noah treated Luke like he was an insect. Or at least had treated, before he regained his sight.
Shaking his head, Reid went to his office and sat down behind his desk. Opening his day planner, he looked at the name of his next patient. “MAYER, Noah - Follow up.” Reid sighed. Speaking of the devil…the last thing he wanted today was to see Noah and Luke together, because the blond would probably come with his…with Noah.
Luke. Reid allowed him a moment to think about him. Since deciding he would win Luke - as ridiculous as the term ‘win’ someone sounded - Reid also decided he wasn’t going to kiss Luke anymore. Unless the blond wanted to kiss him and initiated something, because it wasn’t fair to himself. Reid knew he was completely into Luke and, knowing Luke was still undecided between him and Noah, it would hurt much more if he tasted Luke’s kiss again and had to let him go. He found a way to penetrate Reid’s walls, and now the doctor was a little lost, without knowing what to do with the fact that Luke was on his mind all the time, the only exception being when Reid was in the operating room.
Reid had never been in a real relationship, not one that lasted, but he wanted one with Luke. He couldn’t remember wanting something not related to medicine so much before. But the thing was that…he wanted Luke to want him back. He didn’t want to force anything, or start something with the blond just to see Luke regretting it later. Luke already knew what Reid wanted; it was time for the blond to decide what he wanted. So Reid figured he would just be around, see Luke every day, and try to be less acerbic and more - ugh - nice. Just so Luke wouldn’t forget him. If Luke wanted him, he was confident the blond would tell him so, or Reid would get the hint, because Luke wore his heart on his sleeve. If Luke chose Noah, Reid would know, because Luke would never be able to hide it; his eyes and his open manners would tell.
Reid had entered his office by the back door; he hated when he walked in by the front door and had to listen to the patients in the waiting room complaining that they had been waiting too long. Every patient in the world should know that doctors never arrive on time, because they’re often with other patients who need their attention too. Especially someone like Reid, with a waiting list so long he couldn’t even count. He was very dedicated to his patients but he would be very glad if they understood, if he didn’t arrive on time, it wasn’t because he was lazy or sleeping or having fun; it was because he was taking care of someone else.
“Helen” he said to his secretary through the speaker, “Has Mr. Mayer arrived?”
“Yes, doctor.”
“Send him in.”
Noah arrived alone. He shook Reid’s hand, sat down in front of him and gave him the report about his progress that the therapist had sent to Reid. He remained silent during the time it took for Reid to read the report. Then, they started a polite conversation in which Reid tried to avoid Luke’s name at all costs, telling himself that he didn’t care and wasn’t going to have his hopes up just because Luke hadn’t come with Noah.
When the time for the physical examination came, Reid called his nurse assistant, basically because he wanted to keep his time alone with Noah to a minimum. He told himself again that he wasn’t dislike for his patient - just the way he treated Luke - but in face of the animosity Noah had recently showed towards him -which was surprisingly absent today - Reid thought it would be wiser to have someone else with him during the exam.
Noah was fine; in fact, he was great. Reid made a complete physical examination and Noah’s condition was excellent; his sight had returned almost completely; it was up to 95% now. His right hand’s movement was still slow, but it was considerably better. Only Noah’s memory had made no progress, but Reid wasn’t worried, considering that Noah’s brain had bled and he could’ve ended up as a vegetable if Reid hadn’t stopped the bleeding in time. The memory loss could revert in time; or not. But it wouldn’t affect Noah’s physical progress or his ability to fully live his life.
Reid thanked the nurse and asked her to leave them alone after Noah put his clothes back on. Then he sat behind his desk again and motioned for Noah to sit down while he wrote on Noah’s clipboard.
“Here,” he said, while writing a new prescription for Noah’s eyes. “Use this drops every four hours. And I want to see you in a month; unless you feel anything, then just call Helen and say you’re coming.”
“Thanks, Dr. Oliver,” Noah said, appearing grateful and relieved.
“Any questions?” Reid asked, relieved that he had been able to go through this without Noah’s animosity coming back and without talking about a certain blond.
“Yeah, I have a question; in fact, I have two.”
“Okay.”
Noah’s back straightened anxiously and he leaned a bit forward. “Can I go back to college?”
Reid considered that for a few seconds. “As long as you don’t over-do it, and don’t take too many classes…yes, you can go back; it may be even good for you.”
“Thanks, doctor,” Noah got up smiling and shook Reid’s hand. “It was a pleasure seeing you.”
“Wait…didn’t you say you had another question?”
“Oh, yeah! That’s right, I have!” Noah’s face lit up like a boy on Christmas Eve. He sat down again, smiling at Reid. “My boyfriend and I, we…want to move in together. Do you think I can?”
Reid felt a pang in his chest and he had to make a real effort not to wince. “I don’t see why it would be a problem, Mr. Mayer.”
“The thing is…I love his mom and the kids, but…we need some time alone. We have an apartment, I mean, we had. We were living together when the accident happened. Gosh, it’s so strange to talk about it in the past! It feels like it was yesterday since we were in our own home.”
“I’m sure you’ll get used to it,” Reid said, not moving a muscle of his face.
“When I knew it had been so many months since the accident, I was worried that Luke had…given up on me, on us. But today he told me our apartment is in the same condition we left it. Luke left everything the way it was when we were living together. I guess that says a lot about his feelings for me, don’t you think?”
“I’m not a sentimental advisor, Mr. Mayer.”
“Okay, sorry.” Noah smiled sheepishly. “I, um, I forgot that your bedside manners suck. I was just…I’m so happy that he waited all his time, that he kept our house intact, waiting for us and that now we can get back to it, reconnect and start again.”
“Again,” Reid said, “I see no point in you telling me this.”
“Well, you see…now that we’re really going to spend time alone, with no one to interrupt us…I was wondering if…I’m allowed to…you know, if I’m allowed to…”
Reid felt a cold hand a cold hand gripping his insides. “Have sex?” he decided to be direct and be done with it.
Noah blushed. “Um…yeah, that’s it.”
Reid refrained from sighing tiredly. “If you take it easy…yes, you’re allowed to have sex.”
Thank you, Dr. Oliver!” Noah got up in a rush, shook Reid’s hand enthusiastically and left the room.
Reid didn’t even blink. “Helen,” he said to the speaker,” Send the next patient in.”
…
When Reid’s cell phone went to voicemail, Luke decided to call the hospital. He wasn’t going to ask to talk to Reid or anything, but he wanted to know if the doctor was working the night shifts that week. It would explain why Reid had suddenly disappeared for three days after two weeks of seeing each other constantly. But Reid wasn’t there, and Luke’s anxiety grew, inexplicably. He knew Reid had a very busy life, hectic even, and if he couldn’t call because he was working, it was okay. But he wasn’t working and he wasn’t answering his calls. What the hell could the reason for this be?
Luke thought about it for some time and decided to call Katie’s apartment. Again, no one answered. Looking at is watch, he flinched. It was already nine PM. Katie was probably sleeping. But he knew that Reid never slept early, so why wasn’t he answering? Luke decided to throw caution to the wind and called Katie’s cell phone.
“Luke?” said Katie, worry in her voice.
“Sorry to call you at this time, Katie…But I need to talk to Reid and…he’s not answering his cell phone.”
“Something happened to Noah?” she wanted to know.
“Oh, no! Don’t worry. It’s just that…we…I have an important meeting tomorrow and I want to talk to him about the…uh…the new wing.” Luke closed his eyes, flinching at the lame excuse.
“Oh.” She said with a knowing voice. “He was home when I left. Chris invited me and Jacob to have dinner with him, Bob and Kim.”
“Well, I’ll keep trying. I’ll call him again.”
“Don’t waste your time. He said he was going to leave his cell phone inside his briefcase. I think he can be reached through his beeper, but only the hospital has the number, and tonight he left someone else in his place in case someone needs it. Oh, and I doubt he heard the phone ringing at home, considering the way he was.”
“The way he was?”
“He has been having this monster headache, I think since…Wednesday. Today he came home with a strong painkiller, said another doctor was covering for him and disappeared inside his bedroom. He didn’t even eat.”
“Look, I really need to talk to him.”
“Can’t you wait until tomorrow?”
Luke couldn’t explain why, but he needed to talk to Reid tonight. He had to. In fact, he needed to see him. “No. it can’t.”
“Gosh…Look, if it’s this urgent, why don’t you go there?”
…
Luke did as Kate had told him and looked for the key inside the plant vase. Apparently she left it there for Henry, who lost his keychain. When he got inside, the first thing he noted was that the house was completely dark, not even a light in the kitchen. He closed the door softly and went straight to Reid’s bedroom.
He didn’t know what he expected to find there. It was dark too, except from the moonlight coming from the open window. Reid was lying on the bed, covered just from his waist down, apparently sleeping calmly. Luke sighed and prepared to leave, because obviously he wouldn’t be inconsiderate and wake the man up, but then Reid’s beeper went off.
Luke stood there, paralyzed, while Reid’s hand appeared from under the covers, grabbed the beeper, turned it off, then picked up his cell phone and pressed speed dial. Then the doctor put the phone on his ear, not even bothering to open his eyes while doing all this. He had obviously done it countless times in his life.
“Yes, this is Dr. Oliver.” his voice was low and laced with sleep, but the words were clear. “Okay, put him on. Hello, Jameson, what happened? Yeah, he’s not my patient but I’ve heard of the case. No, I don’t believe its encephalitis, but if he has brain swelling…have you started Mannitol and Dexamethasone already? What about the CT? Oh. Okay, then it may be bacterial or viral. Why don’t you start Cefotaxime and Gancyclovir? Is he stable? Alright, I see, schedule a MRI for tomorrow morning then. I’ll be there first thing in the morning.”
It was only when Reid opened his eyes and turned to put the phone back on the bedside table that he saw Luke standing there. “What the hell?” he said, turning on the small lamp on the bedside table. “You almost gave me a heart attack,” he said, sitting up, rubbing his eyes.
“I…Um…I - I’m sorry.” Luke stammered, uncomfortable. What excuse did he have for invading Reid’s privacy like that? None that he could think of. “I.....I just…never mind. I’m leaving. Sorry again.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I…I was worried about you,” Luke said, body half-turned to go.
“Worried? Why?”
“You didn’t call.”
“And? Is that a reason to come here in the middle of the night to watch me sleep? This is freaking weird, even for you.”
“Uh…It’s only nine-thirty.”
“Oh.” Reid frowned, looking around. “Whatever. You couldn’t have waited until tomorrow? I’m sure whatever it is that you want could - “
“You would keep ignoring my calls like you did today. I had to come, I wanted to…talk.”
Reid looked annoyed, but motioned for Luke to get inside. “Sit down,” he said, and the blond looked around seeing that there was no chair in the room. “You can sit on the bed,” the doctor deadpanned, while grabbing a t-shirt from the headboard and putting it on. “I won’t try anything against your virtue.”
Luke sat down on the corner of the bed, the farthest from Reid that he could manage.
“Okay,” Reid said, wearing his usual blank face. “You said you wanted to talk. Then talk.”
Suddenly all thought fled Luke’s mind and jumped out the window. All he could think of saying was the true reason for his sudden visit. “I haven’t heard from you for three days.”
Reid arched his eyebrows and pursed his lips, but his eyes didn’t change from their blank expression. “I thought I should give you some time to adjust to your new home. Or…your old home. Whatever.”
Luke frowned, puzzled. “New home?”
“Oh, you didn’t move to your love nest yet?”
Luks scratched his head. “What the hell you’re talking about?”
“Yours and Noah’s love nest, obviously. Haven’t you moved yet?”
“I - I’m not moving, especially with Noah. What gave you that idea?” Reid got up and Luke had to avert his eyes, because the man was only in his cotton boxers and his t-shirt and looked incredibly sexy, especially with bed head.
“Your boyfriend kindly informed me during his follow-up consultation.” Reid’s face was like set in stone when he turned to face Luke.
“What?”
The genuine puzzlement on Luke’s face made Reid’s face soften a little. “Noah had a follow-up consultation on Wednesday with me.” The doctor started, patiently. “During which he informed me you kept the old apartment you lived in together and now you’re moving in again. Both of you,” the last sentence was more like an accusation, even if Reid tried to keep the neutral tone.
..
“What about our old apartment, Luke?” Noah wanted to know one night.
“It’s still there,” Luke said, smiling a little. “It’s still exactly the way we left it.” The truth was that Luke was unable to force himself to go back there, since the accident. He knew the empty place would make him more sad, especially when Noah started to treat him badly and pushed him away.
“So…it’s still there…” Noah smiled brightly.
“Yep. I wanted to wait for you to get better, so we could decide what to do with the place.” Luke shrugged. “I’m almost sure that some of your stuff is still there.”
“Can you take me there?” Noah wanted to know.
“Sure…I’ll ask Mrs. Yates to clean it and we’ll go there one of these days.”
..
“Reid…” Luke said, confused. “I don’t know why Noah said that to you. We talked about the apartment, but all he said was that he wanted me to take him there some time and I said I would. We never spoke about moving back in together.”
“You didn’t even…You left the place the way it was when you two lived there.” Reid didn’t want to sound like a jealous guy, but he couldn’t help it. “What, you’ve been paying the rent all this time?” Reid went to the window, his back turned to Luke, so the blond wouldn’t see the anger written all over his face.
“Um…I never had to pay for it. The apartment is my mother’s. Noah doesn’t know that. He was always too proud for his own good.”
Reid didn’t say anything else. He just stood there facing the dark street through the window trying to keep calm. Luke got up and went to him, stopping one step from the doctor.
”Reid…I left everything the way it was because I didn’t want to go there, after the accident. I didn’t want to see what I had lost, especially since Noah blamed me and pushed me away. And when you arrived in Oakdale, and all the uncertainty about the surgery, the neurology wing, us working together…the truth is that I completely forgot about the place. I didn’t even think about it anymore…just the other day when Noah asked about it.”
Reid still didn’t answer. Luke tentatively put a hand on his shoulder and smiled when Reid didn’t shrug his hand off. “You believe me, don’t you?”
“It’s not as if you owe me any explanation,” Reid said softly. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“Maybe I don’t. But I owe it to myself…to do what I want; to be with someone when I want to.”
Reid sighed, but didn’t turn around, not wanting Luke to see the turmoil in his face.
“I’m not moving in with Noah. He totally misunderstood our conversation. We’re not back together.” Luke slowly forced Reid to turn around and face him. “And I’m here,” he whispered.
“I can see that, but…Why are you here, Luke?” Reid asked, eyes storming.
“Because I missed you. And I…can’t stop this feeling any longer. I want to be with you.”
Reid’s eyes locked on Luke’s and for a few seconds they didn’t move.
“I care about you Reid, and I hope you’re okay with the fact that I’m going to kiss you now,” Luke said in a low and husky tone.
“Thank God,” Reid said, in a soft breath.
The kiss started as a tender one, a simple brush of their lips, and they held each other, wanting to be closer. When Luke couldn’t suppress a small moan, Reid immediately pushed his tongue inside Luke’s mouth, eager to taste him, and his hand went to the back of Luke’s neck, deepening the kiss.
Luke felt like he was floating. His heart was beating fast and he couldn’t control it. He didn’t even want to move, afraid to break the kiss, wake up and realize that he was dreaming. He knew what he wanted to happen, and it was almost hard to believe that it looked like it was actually going to happen.
They broke the kiss, but they didn’t move at first. Reid looked at the blond and it was as if he was silently asking for permission to go on. Luke held Reid’s gaze and smiled, trying to say yes, he wanted to be here, he wanted this, but he couldn’t say a word. So he nodded a little and kissed Reid’s lips softly. Reid’s face lit up with a small but beautiful smile and he returned the kiss, resting his hands possessively on the small of Luke’s back.
They stared at each other for a few seconds, and then Reid started to unbutton Luke’s shirt slowly, trying to give the young man time to adjust to the situation. But, as more skin was exposed, their breaths turned to soft gasps because they wanted each other with an intensity that amazed both men. Reid’s movements became more urgent and soon the shirt was slipping to the floor. Luke’s trembling hands grabbed the hem of Reid’s t-shirt and he took it off Reid in one fluid movement. Bodies touched and they moved together, kissing again. Luke’s pants and underwear joined the shirts on the floor, followed by Reid’s boxers, neither man wanting to stay away from the other for even a second.
Reid’s hands were like fire on Luke’s skin. He traced every inch of Luke’s back and torso, then his arms and shoulders, stopping at the back of Luke’s neck. He started kissing Luke’s neck, marveling at the ivory skin, smiling a little at Luke’s soft gasps. The redhead could hardly believe that Luke, the brat with a silver spoon that he used to dislike so much, the most accurate personification of Richie Rich he had ever known, had transformed in a person he wanted so much, someone whose opinion and feelings mattered so much to him. Having Luke in his arms felt right like nothing else and Reid knew that he was going to do anything to keep him there.
Luke trembled under Reid’s touch, head spinning madly like a crazy carousel. He had no idea that Reid’s touch could turn him on like that, but deep down he knew it wasn’t just lust. Something inside his heart was fluttering; a pleasant and warm feeling long forgotten after months of loneliness and uncertainty. For the first time in what he knew was a very long time, he felt like everything was alright.
Reid broke the kiss and eyed Luke again with such intensity that the blond felt his heart stop at the want he saw there. No one, not even Noah, had looked at him like that. Luke tried to transmit the same message with his eyes, as he silently took Reid’s hand and walked a few steps back until they reached the bed. Reid followed him, eyes glued to his, seeming to search inside Luke’s very soul. Luke sat and slowly lay on the bed, Reid silently following him, their hands still intertwined.
There were no clothes between them, but the initial urgency had gone for now. Their hands softly and slowly explored each other’s every curve, learning contours and mapping muscles they didn’t want to forget. It was beautiful, peaceful and at the same time, the most sexy thing they had ever experienced.
Reid’s hand traveled slowly to Luke’s back and the young man arched, giving him access. When Reid touched Luke’s bare ass, Luke closed his eyes and threw his head back, exposing his throat, and Reid shuddered, because it had to be the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Heart beating fast, Reid kissed Luke’s neck and, hearing Luke’s soft moan made him growl, although he didn’t even noticed. But Luke heard it and opened his eyes, staring intently at him.
“Reid…”
Reid shuddered at his name on Luke’s lips. The things this guy could do to him amazed and scared him at the same time. He knew it was his fault that he had never allowed himself to feel what he was feeling now; but he didn’t regret it, because it was almost as if he had been waiting the whole time for this, for this man in his arms, this annoying kid, to finally make his walls come crashing down one by one.
“Reid…” Luke said again, this time pleading.
“Luke…” Reid closed his eyes, trying to control himself, or this would end too fast. He took a few breaths and opened his eyes again. “What do you want, Luke? Tell me.”
“I want you,” Luke breathed.
Without a word, Reid stretched his arm until he reached the bedside table’s small drawer. He retrieved a condom and lube and put them beside Luke’s head. It wasn’t time for words, and even if Reid wanted, he knew there was no words that would be enough for what he was feeling when he heard Luke wanted him; because he wanted Luke so, so badly it was getting hard to breath.
When Reid’s coated fingers started to prepare him, Luke gave a small whimper, wanting to close his eyes and simply feel. He was glad he didn’t, because when he looked at Reid, what he read in the other’s blue eyes made everything stop. In that moment, Luke Snyder didn’t need any words to know he had found a true treasure; the heart of someone who protected his feelings like a lion. And he knew he would never, could never throw that treasure away.
Luke grabbed the condom, not wanting Reid’s touch to leave him, and put it slowly on Reid. Only then, Reid’s hand left him and the older man hovered over Luke. “Are you okay?” he asked. Luke could only nod, because he didn’t trust himself to speak.
Then Reid went slowly inside, inch by inch, until all he could feel, smell, hear and see was Luke, around him, separating him from the rest of the world, leaving space for nothing else. He kissed Luke slowly, feeling their connection so strongly any sudden movement would be too much.
Luke’s hand searched for his, a silent indication that he was fine, and their fingers linked again, palms sweaty and hot. It was Reid who started to move, at first just a little, barely thrusting inside, taking his time, wanting this to last forever. Luke arched his back and threw his head back, lost in the feeling of Reid everywhere. It was slow at first, but when Reid increased the pace, Luke’ grabbed his shoulders, fingers leaving marks on Reid’s skin.
“Oh God,” Luke moaned, unable to remain silent.
It was like breaking a dam. With a guttural moan, Reid started to go faster and deeper with each thrust, and suddenly it was all heat and storm and now, like a giant wave crashing around them drowning both men in a spiral of movement and sweat. They couldn’t stop now, both completely lost in each other, the previous silent bedroom filled by moans, until Luke opened his mouth in a silent gasp, stars exploding behind his eyes. Reid kissed him, swallowing his moans, his brain turning to jelly as his whole body trembled with the strength of his own release.
It took them some time to come back down to Earth. Reid recovered first, disentangling himself slowly from Luke, who had his eyes closed, the pure image of bliss. The older man discarded the condom on the nearby trash can and grabbed some tissues to clean them both. Only when he felt Reid’s hands on him, Luke opened his eyes and smiled.
Reid kissed Luke softly on the lips. “Will you stay a while?”
Luke didn’t even think twice. Smiling, he threw his arms around Reid’s neck. “Yeah.” He wanted to say that it had been wonderful, that he had never imagined he would feel that kind of emotion - that crazy mix of lust and tenderness - again, but looking at Reid he knew the other man understood. Luke closed his eyes and turned to one side, Reid molding himself behind him, holding Luke as close as possible. Together, they drifted off to sleep, soft smiles on their lips.