In All Your Darkest Hours, Ch. 26/?
Title: In All Your Darkest Hours, Ch. 26/?
Author:
jacob1206
Rating: This chapter is R, for language. Ratings will vary by chapter.
Warnings: Angsty angst.
Summary: Luke and Reid react to Reid's announcement that he is marrying Tosh.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, mean no harm and make no money from this fic. I am not a medical professional nor do I play one on TV (though I do lust after someone who played one on TV). I’ve put enough research into the medical details here to be dangerous so please take all that with a grain of salt.
Author's notes: I bet you'd thought I'd abandoned this story, right? Not so fast! I've been posting it on LRO all this time and had just neglected to keep up over here. I've written through Chapter 49, so I'll begin to catch up on my journal.
When we last left In All Your Darkest Hours:
Luke and Reid's happy life together is turned upside down due to the misdeeds of others in the past. After Spencer Whitfield threatens Luke and everyone he cares about, Reid complies with his demand to propose to his son Tosh. Unable to tell Luke the truth, Reid walks out after lying that he's been cheating all along.
In All Your Darkest Hours
Chapter 26
He lay near the water as it lapped at his toes, barely registering the sensation of dampness that seeped through his shoes and the back of his trousers from hem to waist. He’d been here for a while now, finally realizing why he’d been drawn down this path as the sun was beginning to set over the horizon. He’d been nursing a bottle of scotch as he threw rocks out onto the pond, skimming the surface. It was quiet here, save for the chirps of a few tree frogs and the occasional owl.
Hoot the fucking hoo.
It was what he needed. Quiet. Darkness. Nothing.
His ear twitched when he heard the small crunch of a leaf, or maybe it was a twig, back behind him.
“Luke?”
Fuck.
He didn’t respond, but rather continued to lay there hoping that he’d simply heard the name lifted on the breeze rather than from the mouth of an actual person, especially this person, saying it. Or perhaps he’d have the good fortune to be overlooked.
“Oh, good God, Reid? Is that you?”
No such luck.
Yes, it’s fucking me.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice tinged with concern and curiosity.
She doesn’t know, he thought.
He didn’t respond, continuing to recline on the soft soil, hoping for a reprieve from the inquisition. It was not to be.
“Reid, are you drinking?”
She stepped close by him, peering down. His fantasies of being invisible or unapproachable or ignored were all quickly dissipating. She squatted down now, distressed by the fact that Reid hadn’t spoken. It was unlike him, to say the least.
He’s here alone? she thought. Without Luke?
“Yeah…yeah. There’s no need to get so close Lily. I’m breathing.”
She pushed air from side to side in front of her face. “Yeah, I’ll say. It smells like you’ve been breathing that scotch for a while now.”
He waved his hand in the air, dismissing her comment, then let it fall with a thud back to the ground.
“Reid…is something wrong? Where’s Luke?”
Luke.
Luke.
LUKE.
He could hear the sounds roll around in his head, his throbbing head, and they tingled on the tip of his tongue. He held them there, not willing to let them go.
The “L”, like in laugh. Lips. Love. Lifetime. Lonely.
The “U”. It sounded like those damned owls, taunting him at this pond, Luke's special place. OOO…OOO. OOO…OOO.
The “K”, sharp and taut, like his beautiful form. Angles and edges and planes, all for Reid. At least they once were. Whose would they be now?
The “E”. It was silent. He needed to be silent. Silent, to protect Luke.
He rolled on his side and placed a palm on the ground, raising himself up on a wobbly bicep. “Listen, you’ll need to talk to Luke about that.”
“Reid, is everything alright? What’s going on?” The pitch of Lily’s voice was elevating with panic.
“I need to get out of here. You know…leave you Snyders to your….Snyder…-ish….things.”
As he lumbered to his feet, he finally met her eyes. “Lily, just listen to me. Just listen. What I said to you…when we talked a few months ago…about Luke….”
Her eyes darted back and forth, trying to find some meaning in his words. “You mean when you told me that you loved him? And wanted him happy? That conversation?”
“Yes, that one.” Walking towards her, he placed both hands firmly on her shoulders. “Don’t ever forget it. Ever.”
“I…I…won’t. Reid…come, let me drive you home. You shouldn’t be on the road like this.”
“I’m fine to drive. I’ve been nursing that bottle for hours so it’s out of my system. Besides, you wouldn’t know where to go. I don’t know where to go myself. There’s no home for me now.”
He placed a light kiss on her cheek and left her, mouth agape, as he disappeared into the black night.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Susan continued her search, opening the cabinets throughout the house, collecting anything with small traces of alcohol to prevent Luke from getting a taste. She gathered up cough syrup and mouthwash from all the bathrooms, then ensured that the kitchen and closets were free of hidden bottles. As a drunk, she knew where Luke might hide an emergency stash.
After dumping all the liquids down the sink, she rejoined Luke in the living room. “So…” she remarked, “you don’t have any bottles of booze in the house? I’m impressed.”
“I haven’t really had the urge to drink…since…since….” His eyelids closed down heavily, trying to pinch out the image of his first meeting with Reid.
He felt a hand gently cover his own as he absorbed the darkness. “Luke, listen. I’m going to stay here tonight. Just in case.”
“It’s just too much Susan. I can’t ask you to do that…I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe you will and maybe you won’t, but there’s only one way for me to be sure. I’m staying. Besides, you didn’t ask. And don’t argue with your elders. It’s not polite.”
He opened his eyes to see her smiling gently.
“Let’s just get through today. One day at a time.”
“One day at a time,” he agreed, nodding. “Susan, can I ask you something? It’s going to involve something pretty personal.”
“Of course. Anything.”
“OK. Well, Reid and I….we had made a commitment to one another. Months ago. A really significant commitment. We’d decided to stop using….protection. Reid had never…well, he’d never had sex before without using a condom. Ever.”
Susan continued to watch Luke, nodding her head with understanding but remaining quiet so he could continue.
“It was a major step for him. I hadn’t either, but I’d only been with Noah. But… Do you… Do you think….” The remaining words in his questions wouldn't form on his lips.
“Luke.” Susan’s voice was very quiet. He knew she was a strong, opinionated woman and an excellent doctor, but her gentle tone commanded such attention. “I can’t promise you anything. You know that. But the Reid Oliver that I know would never take that risk unless he was sure. Totally invested. In it for the long haul.”
His lips quivered as tears began seeping out of his eyes again. “I just…I don’t know what to think...”
“One day at a time Luke. One day at a time.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Susan had given him good advice - Luke definitely needed time to process all that was happening. Just a few days….
He had to take care of himself and control his urge to drink, first and foremost. He was angry, crushed, devastated. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to open himself up for more pain.
Perhaps I could have stopped it, but at the same time, I had given Reid my word. But there was no other way for Luke to know what Spencer was doing and how it would effect Reid over the next few days.
By the time he found it, tucked in one of Reid’s shoes in the bedroom closet as he was boxing up some of his belongings, Reid and I were on our way to New York.
Author:
jacob1206
Rating: This chapter is R, for language. Ratings will vary by chapter.
Warnings: Angsty angst.
Summary: Luke and Reid react to Reid's announcement that he is marrying Tosh.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, mean no harm and make no money from this fic. I am not a medical professional nor do I play one on TV (though I do lust after someone who played one on TV). I’ve put enough research into the medical details here to be dangerous so please take all that with a grain of salt.
Author's notes: I bet you'd thought I'd abandoned this story, right? Not so fast! I've been posting it on LRO all this time and had just neglected to keep up over here. I've written through Chapter 49, so I'll begin to catch up on my journal.
When we last left In All Your Darkest Hours:
Luke and Reid's happy life together is turned upside down due to the misdeeds of others in the past. After Spencer Whitfield threatens Luke and everyone he cares about, Reid complies with his demand to propose to his son Tosh. Unable to tell Luke the truth, Reid walks out after lying that he's been cheating all along.
In All Your Darkest Hours
Chapter 26
He lay near the water as it lapped at his toes, barely registering the sensation of dampness that seeped through his shoes and the back of his trousers from hem to waist. He’d been here for a while now, finally realizing why he’d been drawn down this path as the sun was beginning to set over the horizon. He’d been nursing a bottle of scotch as he threw rocks out onto the pond, skimming the surface. It was quiet here, save for the chirps of a few tree frogs and the occasional owl.
Hoot the fucking hoo.
It was what he needed. Quiet. Darkness. Nothing.
His ear twitched when he heard the small crunch of a leaf, or maybe it was a twig, back behind him.
“Luke?”
Fuck.
He didn’t respond, but rather continued to lay there hoping that he’d simply heard the name lifted on the breeze rather than from the mouth of an actual person, especially this person, saying it. Or perhaps he’d have the good fortune to be overlooked.
“Oh, good God, Reid? Is that you?”
No such luck.
Yes, it’s fucking me.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice tinged with concern and curiosity.
She doesn’t know, he thought.
He didn’t respond, continuing to recline on the soft soil, hoping for a reprieve from the inquisition. It was not to be.
“Reid, are you drinking?”
She stepped close by him, peering down. His fantasies of being invisible or unapproachable or ignored were all quickly dissipating. She squatted down now, distressed by the fact that Reid hadn’t spoken. It was unlike him, to say the least.
He’s here alone? she thought. Without Luke?
“Yeah…yeah. There’s no need to get so close Lily. I’m breathing.”
She pushed air from side to side in front of her face. “Yeah, I’ll say. It smells like you’ve been breathing that scotch for a while now.”
He waved his hand in the air, dismissing her comment, then let it fall with a thud back to the ground.
“Reid…is something wrong? Where’s Luke?”
Luke.
Luke.
LUKE.
He could hear the sounds roll around in his head, his throbbing head, and they tingled on the tip of his tongue. He held them there, not willing to let them go.
The “L”, like in laugh. Lips. Love. Lifetime. Lonely.
The “U”. It sounded like those damned owls, taunting him at this pond, Luke's special place. OOO…OOO. OOO…OOO.
The “K”, sharp and taut, like his beautiful form. Angles and edges and planes, all for Reid. At least they once were. Whose would they be now?
The “E”. It was silent. He needed to be silent. Silent, to protect Luke.
He rolled on his side and placed a palm on the ground, raising himself up on a wobbly bicep. “Listen, you’ll need to talk to Luke about that.”
“Reid, is everything alright? What’s going on?” The pitch of Lily’s voice was elevating with panic.
“I need to get out of here. You know…leave you Snyders to your….Snyder…-ish….things.”
As he lumbered to his feet, he finally met her eyes. “Lily, just listen to me. Just listen. What I said to you…when we talked a few months ago…about Luke….”
Her eyes darted back and forth, trying to find some meaning in his words. “You mean when you told me that you loved him? And wanted him happy? That conversation?”
“Yes, that one.” Walking towards her, he placed both hands firmly on her shoulders. “Don’t ever forget it. Ever.”
“I…I…won’t. Reid…come, let me drive you home. You shouldn’t be on the road like this.”
“I’m fine to drive. I’ve been nursing that bottle for hours so it’s out of my system. Besides, you wouldn’t know where to go. I don’t know where to go myself. There’s no home for me now.”
He placed a light kiss on her cheek and left her, mouth agape, as he disappeared into the black night.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Susan continued her search, opening the cabinets throughout the house, collecting anything with small traces of alcohol to prevent Luke from getting a taste. She gathered up cough syrup and mouthwash from all the bathrooms, then ensured that the kitchen and closets were free of hidden bottles. As a drunk, she knew where Luke might hide an emergency stash.
After dumping all the liquids down the sink, she rejoined Luke in the living room. “So…” she remarked, “you don’t have any bottles of booze in the house? I’m impressed.”
“I haven’t really had the urge to drink…since…since….” His eyelids closed down heavily, trying to pinch out the image of his first meeting with Reid.
He felt a hand gently cover his own as he absorbed the darkness. “Luke, listen. I’m going to stay here tonight. Just in case.”
“It’s just too much Susan. I can’t ask you to do that…I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe you will and maybe you won’t, but there’s only one way for me to be sure. I’m staying. Besides, you didn’t ask. And don’t argue with your elders. It’s not polite.”
He opened his eyes to see her smiling gently.
“Let’s just get through today. One day at a time.”
“One day at a time,” he agreed, nodding. “Susan, can I ask you something? It’s going to involve something pretty personal.”
“Of course. Anything.”
“OK. Well, Reid and I….we had made a commitment to one another. Months ago. A really significant commitment. We’d decided to stop using….protection. Reid had never…well, he’d never had sex before without using a condom. Ever.”
Susan continued to watch Luke, nodding her head with understanding but remaining quiet so he could continue.
“It was a major step for him. I hadn’t either, but I’d only been with Noah. But… Do you… Do you think….” The remaining words in his questions wouldn't form on his lips.
“Luke.” Susan’s voice was very quiet. He knew she was a strong, opinionated woman and an excellent doctor, but her gentle tone commanded such attention. “I can’t promise you anything. You know that. But the Reid Oliver that I know would never take that risk unless he was sure. Totally invested. In it for the long haul.”
His lips quivered as tears began seeping out of his eyes again. “I just…I don’t know what to think...”
“One day at a time Luke. One day at a time.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Susan had given him good advice - Luke definitely needed time to process all that was happening. Just a few days….
He had to take care of himself and control his urge to drink, first and foremost. He was angry, crushed, devastated. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to open himself up for more pain.
Perhaps I could have stopped it, but at the same time, I had given Reid my word. But there was no other way for Luke to know what Spencer was doing and how it would effect Reid over the next few days.
By the time he found it, tucked in one of Reid’s shoes in the bedroom closet as he was boxing up some of his belongings, Reid and I were on our way to New York.