In All Your Darkest Hours, Ch. 32/?
Title: In All Your Darkest Hours, Ch. 32/?
Author:
jacob1206
Rating: This chapter is rated R for language. Ratings will vary by chapter.
Summary: Katie’s visitor demands answers. Will she give them?
Disclaimer: I own nothing, mean no harm and make no money from this fic. I am not a medical professional nor do I play one on TV (though I do lust after someone who played one on TV). I’ve put enough research into the medical details here to be dangerous so please take all that with a grain of salt.
Author's notes: Things are starting to move along, I promise!
In All Your Darkest Hours
Chapter 32
The figure blew past me like a frosty tempest, moving silently and without one moment’s hesitation as it entered the kitchen. The sound of rubber-soled shoes slapped against the linoleum floor, pacing nervously back and forth and then in circles. The eyes were bloodshot, and rimmed with swollen pink flesh, though I wasn’t sure if that was due to tears or anger. Perhaps both. Long fingers carded through the soft spun hair and appeared to have been doing it for hours, as its usual perfection had been destroyed. So many things had been destroyed and I helplessly felt as though there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it.
He grabbed a shiny Granny Smith apple from the mosaic bowl on the counter and twirled it his hands.
“Tell me,” he said simply.
I wasn’t prepared for this, not at all. I had to stall. “How did you know I was home?”
“Don’t underestimate me. It doesn’t take an act of God to have someone staked out at the Oakdale Airport. ”
“Oh, right…sure. So anyway, I don’t….”
The words spat through the air, full of vitriol, as he finally forced himself to look at me. “Stop right there. Don’t even fucking say that you don’t know what I could possibly be talking about or what the problem is or…or…..,” He took a deep breath to refuel. “You are going to tell me what is going on with Reid right now.”
“Listen…Luke….”
“I went to the jewelry store Katie, like you said. I picked up the ring.” His voice seemed rusty as he interrupted, probably from the strident cries of pain that it had surely endured in recent days. “ It was for me. ME! Not Tosh. It said ‘always’.” Tears began to dot his eyelashes. “He loved me. He did….”
Then, the voice cracked into pieces. I watched as the rest of him followed suit.
“He did Luke. He did.”
He raised his face and captured my eyes, seeking an answer to a question so strong and clear that I couldn’t deny him.
“He stlll does,” I assured him.
As the realization hit, I could see the emotions run across his face like the changing air in a hurricane. The breeze started to blow ever so gently, the kind that puts a smile on your face and a spring in your step. Gradually though, the winds shifted harshly, whipping through him and reaching past the initial bliss. When they hit, rough and relentless, I could see slivers of his soul floating in the atmosphere as they ripped the shingles off of the roof. The wood siding from the cottage. The mailbox from its cemented spot in the soft earth. Finally, the slats of the white picket fence took flight until they disappeared out of view.
“You mean….he loves me? But he still….went to New York?” he choked, between gasps for air. “It’s…done?” “He’s really…”
He stopped. And then he whispered, as softly as I had ever heard him speak, or anyone for that matter.
“I can’t say it.”
“I know Luke.”
“I can’t.”
I laid my hand over his and he pulled away from me like a hot stove, unwilling. Comfort was a stranger to him now. “I’m so sorry.”
“Tell me Katie. I need to hear it… to know if it’s real.”
“It is.”
“What is? Say it.”
“Reid…he’s married to Tosh.”
The expression on his face was indescribable though I’d imagine it was what it might look like if someone had run face first into a brick wall. I saw the trembling take root first in his ankles, followed quickly by his knees and it spread throughout his body as his sunk to the floor in a heap. He rocked back and forth for several minutes, his body literally aching for the relief of body and soul that only Reid could provide. I wrapped him in my arms to give him human contact, but I was an unacceptable substitute. Anyone would have been. I didn’t take offense, by any means.
His tears continued until he finally regained his voice. “But why? Katie, WHY? How could he do that to me?”
“It’s not my story to tell Luke.”
He leapt up from the floor and pushed me away as the anger resurfaced.
“Not your story? Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of sick game are you two playing?” His face was red and splotchy from the tears and emotion. “Do you think this is funny Katie? You send me on a wild goose chase to the jeweler, just so I can figure out that he still loves me? And is that supposed to make me feel…better…or something? Even Lucinda had already told me that.”
“Wait, what? Lucinda?” Remembering her phone message, I immediately wondered what she’d been up to.
“Yes, she was with me at the jewelers. Anyway, stop trying to change the subject. You’re going to tell me that Reid still loves me, yet he just married another man, and then not explain why all this is happening?”
“He made me promise Luke. I’m trying to honor his wishes.”
And then the winds changed again, like an eyewall, blowing the whole fucking house down, hay, straw, or brick - it didn’t matter. He grabbed my shoulders and held on tight, screaming, almost out of control.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. Do you really think this is best for him? To be married to someone he doesn’t love?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Then why aren’t you telling me? Why won’t he tell me?”
I had to make him understand...somehow. “Because he’s convinced that it’s best for someone else. Someone he loves.”
Suddenly, the winds stopped and we were in the eye. Without the force to buoy him up, he collapsed again to the floor, with nothing but the flood of violent tears to prove that there was any life left at all.
“Please. I’m begging you. You have to tell me, now. You have to! He loves me Katie. Me! Why would you do this to me? Why would you do this to him??” He blinked quickly as his words processed through his mind.
“That’s it Luke. Think.” I grabbed his hands in mine and urged him on. “Who could he think this is best for?”
Confusion initially settled on his mind, but it was thankfully fleeting. “Is it…me?” He watched me closely, quickly finding what he needed. “It’s me, isn’t it? He thinks this is better for me? But that’s absurd. How could that be??”
I didn’t speak, fighting every instinct I had to tell him the whole story. My resolve was wavering and I’d begun to wonder just how it was helping Reid to keep the truth from Luke.
“I have to know. If I don’t, I just don’t know….I don’t know what I’ll do….”
“You have to understand….this isn’t just about you Luke. Or Reid. It’s complicated. There are a lot of other people that could be hurt…people that you care about…”
“Please,” he pleaded while tears continued to stream down his face. Its beauty was completely washed out by the winds and floods and wreckage. “Let me decide what I can handle.”
I thought of my friend, who had fallen apart in my arms when he’d lost the love of his life at the hands of a damaged soul, as well as the promise I’d made to him. He’d asked me not to tell Luke…but I knew with all my heart that his intention was protection. Reid passionately believed in honesty. If Luke’s friends and family had not been threatened, he would have never gone along with this charade at all.
As I looked at Luke there, full of love and torment, I could see the underlying strength that ran through him. He was a smart man, a trustworthy man, a resourceful man. Hell, he was a Grimaldi, for fuck’s sake.
It was a risk I had to take. After all, I had caused part of this mess to begin with. I only hoped Reid would forgive me.
Author:
jacob1206
Rating: This chapter is rated R for language. Ratings will vary by chapter.
Summary: Katie’s visitor demands answers. Will she give them?
Disclaimer: I own nothing, mean no harm and make no money from this fic. I am not a medical professional nor do I play one on TV (though I do lust after someone who played one on TV). I’ve put enough research into the medical details here to be dangerous so please take all that with a grain of salt.
Author's notes: Things are starting to move along, I promise!
In All Your Darkest Hours
Chapter 32
The figure blew past me like a frosty tempest, moving silently and without one moment’s hesitation as it entered the kitchen. The sound of rubber-soled shoes slapped against the linoleum floor, pacing nervously back and forth and then in circles. The eyes were bloodshot, and rimmed with swollen pink flesh, though I wasn’t sure if that was due to tears or anger. Perhaps both. Long fingers carded through the soft spun hair and appeared to have been doing it for hours, as its usual perfection had been destroyed. So many things had been destroyed and I helplessly felt as though there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it.
He grabbed a shiny Granny Smith apple from the mosaic bowl on the counter and twirled it his hands.
“Tell me,” he said simply.
I wasn’t prepared for this, not at all. I had to stall. “How did you know I was home?”
“Don’t underestimate me. It doesn’t take an act of God to have someone staked out at the Oakdale Airport. ”
“Oh, right…sure. So anyway, I don’t….”
The words spat through the air, full of vitriol, as he finally forced himself to look at me. “Stop right there. Don’t even fucking say that you don’t know what I could possibly be talking about or what the problem is or…or…..,” He took a deep breath to refuel. “You are going to tell me what is going on with Reid right now.”
“Listen…Luke….”
“I went to the jewelry store Katie, like you said. I picked up the ring.” His voice seemed rusty as he interrupted, probably from the strident cries of pain that it had surely endured in recent days. “ It was for me. ME! Not Tosh. It said ‘always’.” Tears began to dot his eyelashes. “He loved me. He did….”
Then, the voice cracked into pieces. I watched as the rest of him followed suit.
“He did Luke. He did.”
He raised his face and captured my eyes, seeking an answer to a question so strong and clear that I couldn’t deny him.
“He stlll does,” I assured him.
As the realization hit, I could see the emotions run across his face like the changing air in a hurricane. The breeze started to blow ever so gently, the kind that puts a smile on your face and a spring in your step. Gradually though, the winds shifted harshly, whipping through him and reaching past the initial bliss. When they hit, rough and relentless, I could see slivers of his soul floating in the atmosphere as they ripped the shingles off of the roof. The wood siding from the cottage. The mailbox from its cemented spot in the soft earth. Finally, the slats of the white picket fence took flight until they disappeared out of view.
“You mean….he loves me? But he still….went to New York?” he choked, between gasps for air. “It’s…done?” “He’s really…”
He stopped. And then he whispered, as softly as I had ever heard him speak, or anyone for that matter.
“I can’t say it.”
“I know Luke.”
“I can’t.”
I laid my hand over his and he pulled away from me like a hot stove, unwilling. Comfort was a stranger to him now. “I’m so sorry.”
“Tell me Katie. I need to hear it… to know if it’s real.”
“It is.”
“What is? Say it.”
“Reid…he’s married to Tosh.”
The expression on his face was indescribable though I’d imagine it was what it might look like if someone had run face first into a brick wall. I saw the trembling take root first in his ankles, followed quickly by his knees and it spread throughout his body as his sunk to the floor in a heap. He rocked back and forth for several minutes, his body literally aching for the relief of body and soul that only Reid could provide. I wrapped him in my arms to give him human contact, but I was an unacceptable substitute. Anyone would have been. I didn’t take offense, by any means.
His tears continued until he finally regained his voice. “But why? Katie, WHY? How could he do that to me?”
“It’s not my story to tell Luke.”
He leapt up from the floor and pushed me away as the anger resurfaced.
“Not your story? Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of sick game are you two playing?” His face was red and splotchy from the tears and emotion. “Do you think this is funny Katie? You send me on a wild goose chase to the jeweler, just so I can figure out that he still loves me? And is that supposed to make me feel…better…or something? Even Lucinda had already told me that.”
“Wait, what? Lucinda?” Remembering her phone message, I immediately wondered what she’d been up to.
“Yes, she was with me at the jewelers. Anyway, stop trying to change the subject. You’re going to tell me that Reid still loves me, yet he just married another man, and then not explain why all this is happening?”
“He made me promise Luke. I’m trying to honor his wishes.”
And then the winds changed again, like an eyewall, blowing the whole fucking house down, hay, straw, or brick - it didn’t matter. He grabbed my shoulders and held on tight, screaming, almost out of control.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. Do you really think this is best for him? To be married to someone he doesn’t love?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Then why aren’t you telling me? Why won’t he tell me?”
I had to make him understand...somehow. “Because he’s convinced that it’s best for someone else. Someone he loves.”
Suddenly, the winds stopped and we were in the eye. Without the force to buoy him up, he collapsed again to the floor, with nothing but the flood of violent tears to prove that there was any life left at all.
“Please. I’m begging you. You have to tell me, now. You have to! He loves me Katie. Me! Why would you do this to me? Why would you do this to him??” He blinked quickly as his words processed through his mind.
“That’s it Luke. Think.” I grabbed his hands in mine and urged him on. “Who could he think this is best for?”
Confusion initially settled on his mind, but it was thankfully fleeting. “Is it…me?” He watched me closely, quickly finding what he needed. “It’s me, isn’t it? He thinks this is better for me? But that’s absurd. How could that be??”
I didn’t speak, fighting every instinct I had to tell him the whole story. My resolve was wavering and I’d begun to wonder just how it was helping Reid to keep the truth from Luke.
“I have to know. If I don’t, I just don’t know….I don’t know what I’ll do….”
“You have to understand….this isn’t just about you Luke. Or Reid. It’s complicated. There are a lot of other people that could be hurt…people that you care about…”
“Please,” he pleaded while tears continued to stream down his face. Its beauty was completely washed out by the winds and floods and wreckage. “Let me decide what I can handle.”
I thought of my friend, who had fallen apart in my arms when he’d lost the love of his life at the hands of a damaged soul, as well as the promise I’d made to him. He’d asked me not to tell Luke…but I knew with all my heart that his intention was protection. Reid passionately believed in honesty. If Luke’s friends and family had not been threatened, he would have never gone along with this charade at all.
As I looked at Luke there, full of love and torment, I could see the underlying strength that ran through him. He was a smart man, a trustworthy man, a resourceful man. Hell, he was a Grimaldi, for fuck’s sake.
It was a risk I had to take. After all, I had caused part of this mess to begin with. I only hoped Reid would forgive me.