Then There Was You Chapter 22
Title: Then There Was You Chapter 22
Author:gwennylou
Summary: Reid and Luke have a heart to heart. Very angsty/pain filled.
Rating: PG
Warning: I cried writing this chapter, so just be warned.
Two months later, Reid was sitting in his office finishing the rest of his paperwork.
He looked at his watch and realized how late it was getting. He really needed to eat.
He flipped his cell phone open then and called Luke,
“Hey Reid, what’s up?”
“Nothing, just finishing paperwork. I was gonna stop at Al’s on the way home to pick up dinner. What do you want?”
“Oh, umm, I’m not going to be here for dinner. Noah is having a screening of his movie at the college and I told Casey and Ali I’d meet them there.”
Reid sighed then and rubbed his eyes,
“So were you planning on telling me this to my face or were you just going to leave a note?”
Luke remained silent for a minute and then said,
“I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t want to upset you.”
“Luke, I’m more upset that you thought you had to keep it from me. I would’ve been fine with you going. “
“I’m sorry Reid, it’s just-“
“It’s just what, Luke?”
“It’s just that things have been going so well these past two months and we’re happy. I didn’t want to upset you by being there for Noah.”
“Luke, I told you a long time ago that I was willing to do that for you, because I knew you needed to be there for him and Noah needed you too. I don’t know why you refuse to trust that or me. But it’s getting really old.”
Luke said nothing, so Reid continued,
“Don’t worry about me, Luke. Go have fun with your friends. I’ll be fine; I’ll hang out with Katie tonight or something.”
“Actually she and Chris are sort of going to the screening too.”
“Well fine then. I’ll watch a baseball game and then go to bed early. Make sure not to wake me up when you get in, Luke.”
Reid hung up the phone then, irritated and slightly pissed off.
He went home with his dinner for one, ate it, and then fell asleep watching the Reds and Cubs.
Hours later, he woke up to the sound of an annoyingly loud man selling some sort of garden tool on an infomercial. He turned the television off and made his way to bed.
He looked at the clock to see it was 4 a.m.
He looked at the bed, no Luke.
He sighed then, Luke wasn’t coming.
He flipped over and focused on the parts of the brain, willing his heart to stop aching.
The next day he went back to work. Today was the last check up he would have with Mr. Mayer. He was grateful that he didn’t have to keep up appearances of professional decorum and be sickeningly polite to him after today.
He stepped into the room to see Luke standing there holding Mr. Mayer’s hand.
Reid felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach.
So that’s where Luke was last night.
He stood there like an idiot for a few seconds trying to remember what words he was supposed to say, when Luke cleared his throat.
The distraction broke Reid’s fog and he stepped forward,
“So, Mr. Mayer, are you ready for your last checkup?”
“Definitely, Dr. Oliver. I can’t wait to get the all clear and get back to my normal habits and life.”
Reid bitterly smiled thinking to himself, yeah so you can get Luke back and treat him just like you did before.
Reid looked over at Luke who was watching Reid inconspicuously out of the corner of his eyes. Reid could see tenderness and concern in those deep brown eyes. Reid couldn’t handle this.
“Mr. Snyder would you mind waiting outside, while I finish the rest of the exam? I promise you I’ll call you back in as soon as we are done.”
“But Reid- Dr. Oliver, I want to be here for Noah.”
“Luke, its fine. Really. Just do what Dr. Oliver asks, okay?”
Luke was clearly upset by the request and Reid hated seeing Luke like that, but secretly he sort of felt glad that Luke understood what he felt like every time he ran back to Noah and left him alone.
Reid got back to work then. He was looking into Noah’s eye when Noah spoke again,
“What is your relationship with Luke?”
Reid nearly dropped his penlight then but recovered quickly,
“We are colleagues, why?”
“I don’t know. I think Luke may be seeing someone and I thought maybe since you seem to patch things up in Dallas, he may have told you something. He made it seem like you two may even becoming friends.”
Reid turned around then and smiled a huge grin then. Luke had been talking about him to Noah.
Reid put his poker face back on and turned back to do more tests,
“Luke and I are civil now, yes. But we aren’t close enough to talk about sexual partners, Noah.”
“Oh, well I thought you might know since I’m pretty sure he works here at the hospital.”
Reid dropped the tool he was holding then and bent to pick it up. Damn, they were going to get caught.
“Why do you think that, Noah?”
“Cause Luke is running here like every other night for some reason or the other. At first, they made sense and were plausible because of his kidney, but now he’s not even coming up with good excuses anymore why he needs to go the hospital sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the middle of the afternoon. And he’ll be gone for like an hour and then come back.”
“Well, Noah. So what if Luke is seeing someone from the hospital? Does it matter? From what Luke has said, you two are no longer an item. So based on that it doesn’t seem like Luke is doing anything wrong.”
“Just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean my feelings for him just shut off. I can’t help but be jealous and sad when I think of Luke with another man. It makes me so angry I could punch through a wall.”
“Yeah, Luke does that affect.”
“Excuse me?”
Reid just realized he said that out loud and said,
“Oh nothing. I was talking about Luke making someone so angry they’d want to punch a wall.”
Noah looked at Reid then for a few seconds suspiciously but then went on,
“I just want Luke and if it turns out that he has someone else, I’m going to fight for him. We are meant to be, I just know it.”
Reid slammed the folder shut then and said,
“Well good luck with that, Mr. Mayer. You are all set here. Just make sure to sign your exit form and you are officially done with this surgery.”
Noah offered his hand then,
“Thanks for everything Dr. Oliver. I really appreciate you sticking around and putting up with Luke on my behalf.”
Reid shook his hand and said,
“I was just doing my job, Mr. Mayer, it’s all part of my Hippocratic oath. “
Noah left then and Reid slumped in his chair, emotionally exhausted.
Half an hour later, while Reid was staring at his computer screen trying to read an email, the door knocked.
Reid looked up to see Luke coming in,
Luke smiled and dropped into a seat across from his desk,
“So Noah has a clean bill of health and you don’t have to treat him anymore. How does that make you feel?”
“It makes me feel like my mission in life is complete and I can die a happy man.”
“Come on Reid, quit being a jackass.”
“I don’t know, Luke. I’m relieved to not have to treat your boyfriend anymore and I’m glad he’s doing well. But honestly, the other feelings are confusing and mixed up and they are messing with my head.”
“What do you mean, Reid?”
“I mean that I’m really glad on a personal level that Noah is okay. Honestly, I am. But I can’t help but feel as if you now have a choice between the love of your life who is healthy again and your fuck buddy, who is an asshole, whom you no longer have a need for. “
“What the hell are you talking about, Reid?”
“For the past two months I’ve seen you leave my bed straight for Noah’s side to help him through this. I’ve woken up nights to see a note saying you went to see Noah who needed someone, or come home nights to see find you not in our bed, and yes, I know that even though you don’t live with me, it is still our bed since no one else sleeps in it. I’ve even let you leave when we were about to make love, hell you even left once in the middle of sex and I let you go, because you needed to be there for Noah. But, I’m done. I know I said I’d let you have space and the time you needed, but now it’s time for to tell you what I need. I need you to stop running to Noah every time he beckons. I need you stop putting my feelings second. And mostly I need you stop telling me you love me only for you to run straight to Noah and make him feel the same way. “
Reid took a breath and continued with tears starting to form in his eyes,
“I may not be the nicest guy around and I may have a lot of flaws, Luke, but I deserve to be loved for me and to have someone love me enough to want to make sure I’m happy and taken care of, just like you clearly feel for Noah. I know you love me, but it’s clear that you don’t love me as much as you love him. So I’m letting you go. Go to Noah, tell him you love him, that you want him, and be with him freely. He loves you Luke and you love him. I’m tired of being the monkey in the middle who can never quite catch that ball. So I’m not going to be that person anymore. ”
Reid got up then walked over to Luke and pulled him into a tight embrace. He gently kissed Luke who was trembling he could taste the mix of their tears on his lips.
“Goodbye Luke, please be happy.”
Reid turned around left the hospital.
Author:gwennylou
Summary: Reid and Luke have a heart to heart. Very angsty/pain filled.
Rating: PG
Warning: I cried writing this chapter, so just be warned.
Two months later, Reid was sitting in his office finishing the rest of his paperwork.
He looked at his watch and realized how late it was getting. He really needed to eat.
He flipped his cell phone open then and called Luke,
“Hey Reid, what’s up?”
“Nothing, just finishing paperwork. I was gonna stop at Al’s on the way home to pick up dinner. What do you want?”
“Oh, umm, I’m not going to be here for dinner. Noah is having a screening of his movie at the college and I told Casey and Ali I’d meet them there.”
Reid sighed then and rubbed his eyes,
“So were you planning on telling me this to my face or were you just going to leave a note?”
Luke remained silent for a minute and then said,
“I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t want to upset you.”
“Luke, I’m more upset that you thought you had to keep it from me. I would’ve been fine with you going. “
“I’m sorry Reid, it’s just-“
“It’s just what, Luke?”
“It’s just that things have been going so well these past two months and we’re happy. I didn’t want to upset you by being there for Noah.”
“Luke, I told you a long time ago that I was willing to do that for you, because I knew you needed to be there for him and Noah needed you too. I don’t know why you refuse to trust that or me. But it’s getting really old.”
Luke said nothing, so Reid continued,
“Don’t worry about me, Luke. Go have fun with your friends. I’ll be fine; I’ll hang out with Katie tonight or something.”
“Actually she and Chris are sort of going to the screening too.”
“Well fine then. I’ll watch a baseball game and then go to bed early. Make sure not to wake me up when you get in, Luke.”
Reid hung up the phone then, irritated and slightly pissed off.
He went home with his dinner for one, ate it, and then fell asleep watching the Reds and Cubs.
Hours later, he woke up to the sound of an annoyingly loud man selling some sort of garden tool on an infomercial. He turned the television off and made his way to bed.
He looked at the clock to see it was 4 a.m.
He looked at the bed, no Luke.
He sighed then, Luke wasn’t coming.
He flipped over and focused on the parts of the brain, willing his heart to stop aching.
The next day he went back to work. Today was the last check up he would have with Mr. Mayer. He was grateful that he didn’t have to keep up appearances of professional decorum and be sickeningly polite to him after today.
He stepped into the room to see Luke standing there holding Mr. Mayer’s hand.
Reid felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach.
So that’s where Luke was last night.
He stood there like an idiot for a few seconds trying to remember what words he was supposed to say, when Luke cleared his throat.
The distraction broke Reid’s fog and he stepped forward,
“So, Mr. Mayer, are you ready for your last checkup?”
“Definitely, Dr. Oliver. I can’t wait to get the all clear and get back to my normal habits and life.”
Reid bitterly smiled thinking to himself, yeah so you can get Luke back and treat him just like you did before.
Reid looked over at Luke who was watching Reid inconspicuously out of the corner of his eyes. Reid could see tenderness and concern in those deep brown eyes. Reid couldn’t handle this.
“Mr. Snyder would you mind waiting outside, while I finish the rest of the exam? I promise you I’ll call you back in as soon as we are done.”
“But Reid- Dr. Oliver, I want to be here for Noah.”
“Luke, its fine. Really. Just do what Dr. Oliver asks, okay?”
Luke was clearly upset by the request and Reid hated seeing Luke like that, but secretly he sort of felt glad that Luke understood what he felt like every time he ran back to Noah and left him alone.
Reid got back to work then. He was looking into Noah’s eye when Noah spoke again,
“What is your relationship with Luke?”
Reid nearly dropped his penlight then but recovered quickly,
“We are colleagues, why?”
“I don’t know. I think Luke may be seeing someone and I thought maybe since you seem to patch things up in Dallas, he may have told you something. He made it seem like you two may even becoming friends.”
Reid turned around then and smiled a huge grin then. Luke had been talking about him to Noah.
Reid put his poker face back on and turned back to do more tests,
“Luke and I are civil now, yes. But we aren’t close enough to talk about sexual partners, Noah.”
“Oh, well I thought you might know since I’m pretty sure he works here at the hospital.”
Reid dropped the tool he was holding then and bent to pick it up. Damn, they were going to get caught.
“Why do you think that, Noah?”
“Cause Luke is running here like every other night for some reason or the other. At first, they made sense and were plausible because of his kidney, but now he’s not even coming up with good excuses anymore why he needs to go the hospital sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the middle of the afternoon. And he’ll be gone for like an hour and then come back.”
“Well, Noah. So what if Luke is seeing someone from the hospital? Does it matter? From what Luke has said, you two are no longer an item. So based on that it doesn’t seem like Luke is doing anything wrong.”
“Just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean my feelings for him just shut off. I can’t help but be jealous and sad when I think of Luke with another man. It makes me so angry I could punch through a wall.”
“Yeah, Luke does that affect.”
“Excuse me?”
Reid just realized he said that out loud and said,
“Oh nothing. I was talking about Luke making someone so angry they’d want to punch a wall.”
Noah looked at Reid then for a few seconds suspiciously but then went on,
“I just want Luke and if it turns out that he has someone else, I’m going to fight for him. We are meant to be, I just know it.”
Reid slammed the folder shut then and said,
“Well good luck with that, Mr. Mayer. You are all set here. Just make sure to sign your exit form and you are officially done with this surgery.”
Noah offered his hand then,
“Thanks for everything Dr. Oliver. I really appreciate you sticking around and putting up with Luke on my behalf.”
Reid shook his hand and said,
“I was just doing my job, Mr. Mayer, it’s all part of my Hippocratic oath. “
Noah left then and Reid slumped in his chair, emotionally exhausted.
Half an hour later, while Reid was staring at his computer screen trying to read an email, the door knocked.
Reid looked up to see Luke coming in,
Luke smiled and dropped into a seat across from his desk,
“So Noah has a clean bill of health and you don’t have to treat him anymore. How does that make you feel?”
“It makes me feel like my mission in life is complete and I can die a happy man.”
“Come on Reid, quit being a jackass.”
“I don’t know, Luke. I’m relieved to not have to treat your boyfriend anymore and I’m glad he’s doing well. But honestly, the other feelings are confusing and mixed up and they are messing with my head.”
“What do you mean, Reid?”
“I mean that I’m really glad on a personal level that Noah is okay. Honestly, I am. But I can’t help but feel as if you now have a choice between the love of your life who is healthy again and your fuck buddy, who is an asshole, whom you no longer have a need for. “
“What the hell are you talking about, Reid?”
“For the past two months I’ve seen you leave my bed straight for Noah’s side to help him through this. I’ve woken up nights to see a note saying you went to see Noah who needed someone, or come home nights to see find you not in our bed, and yes, I know that even though you don’t live with me, it is still our bed since no one else sleeps in it. I’ve even let you leave when we were about to make love, hell you even left once in the middle of sex and I let you go, because you needed to be there for Noah. But, I’m done. I know I said I’d let you have space and the time you needed, but now it’s time for to tell you what I need. I need you to stop running to Noah every time he beckons. I need you stop putting my feelings second. And mostly I need you stop telling me you love me only for you to run straight to Noah and make him feel the same way. “
Reid took a breath and continued with tears starting to form in his eyes,
“I may not be the nicest guy around and I may have a lot of flaws, Luke, but I deserve to be loved for me and to have someone love me enough to want to make sure I’m happy and taken care of, just like you clearly feel for Noah. I know you love me, but it’s clear that you don’t love me as much as you love him. So I’m letting you go. Go to Noah, tell him you love him, that you want him, and be with him freely. He loves you Luke and you love him. I’m tired of being the monkey in the middle who can never quite catch that ball. So I’m not going to be that person anymore. ”
Reid got up then walked over to Luke and pulled him into a tight embrace. He gently kissed Luke who was trembling he could taste the mix of their tears on his lips.
“Goodbye Luke, please be happy.”
Reid turned around left the hospital.