When It's Time 6/?
After their first kiss, Luke and Reid wanted nothing more than to continue as if Nate never existed. Reid was enjoying being able to kiss Luke whenever he liked, pretending that they were everything that mattered was each other. But of course Luke being Luke, he wanted to talk.
“But I want to get to know you.” Luke pouted when Reid leaned over to kiss him, partly to make him shut up, and partly to taste those delicious lips again.
“Why?” Reid sighed as he pulled away from Luke. “It’s a waste of valuable make-out time.”
“We’ll have plenty of time to suck face later, Reid” Luke laughed and playfully slapped him. “I just want to get to know you.”
“You know me better than anyone else.”
“I know close to nothing about you.” Luke replied and snuggled up to Reid. “Tell me something about yourself.”
“You really weren’t kidding when you said you were a ‘let’s talk about our feelings’ kind of guy, were you?” Reid dramatically sighed and rubbed his face. “I don’t know, what do you need to know?”
“I don’t know, how about…something about your family? That is standard ‘getting to know each other’ talk, isn’t it?” Luke asked.
“Family, well let’s see. Parents are dead, I’m an only child and I grew up with my Uncle after they passed.” Reid nodded, and looked at Luke.
“I’m so sorry” Luke whispered and leaned in closer. “How did they die?” Luke snuggled in even closer, wrapping his hands tightly around Reid.
“My father died of a brain tumor, and my mother died in a car accident a few years after.” ‘Accident’ was what they said it was. Reid never believed that.
He didn’t like talking about his family, nor did he find it necessary for people know about it, it didn’t matter, he was his own man. His past was in the past, where it should be.
“Oh God, that’s horrible” Reid could tell Luke was tearing up, and softly kissed him on the cheek.
“It was a long time ago.” Reid replied. It was. He had a good memory, he remembered them perfectly well; his parent’s reaction to him coming out, his father withering away from the cancer, the last words he heard his mother speak. He remembered. ‘I want you to know that I love you very much, Reid. Please promise me that you will take care of yourself when I’m gone.’
She gave him a kiss on the cheek and she was gone. He didn’t like letting people in, letting people love him. His mother loved him, but she left - and Reid did not believe it was an accident. Accident. No, it was no accident. She left him, he knew. She must have known that he would figure it out. She knew he was smart.
He usually tells people ‘I was born this way’. He was born a genius; he was a very smart kid and had always lacked social skills. But reasons for him being the way he was came from a long list of scenarios throughout his life. After watching his father slowly die from a brain tumor, he decided he wanted to become a neurologist, to save people’s lives. He had always been fascinated with the brain, but that was when he realized it was his calling in life. He was going to become a brilliant neurosurgeon - and he succeeded.
His unwillingness to let people love him, and to love them in return, that all came from his mother’s “accident”. ‘I want you to know that I love you very much, Reid. Please promise me that you will take care of yourself when I’m gone.’
Then there was dear old Uncle Angus; the master of ‘tough love’. One thing Reid knew for sure was that he never wanted to be like him. Angus wanted him to be a professional chess player, and did everything in his power to make that happen. Forcing Reid to play - punishing him when he lost. ‘This is what it feels like to lose.’
Reid shook his head at the memories. He would tell Luke in time, but not now. Right now he wanted to focus on the feel of Luke’s arms wrapped around him, the concerned, beautiful look in his eyes. On him.
“Let’s talk about something else.” Luke said and kissed Reid. He must have seen it on his face that it was painful to talk about. Who knew this boy could read him so well? Who knew there was somebody out there who could read him, period? That was always Nate’s complaint, that he could never tell what Reid was feeling, that after so many years - he still had no idea how to handle him.
“Fantastic” Reid let out a sigh of relief and smiled at Luke.
---
For the first time in his entire medical career Reid found it difficult to concentrate at work. Surgeries went as flawlessly as always, but once he stepped out of the operating room, it was close to impossible. Once he’s cracked open somebody’s skull, he was in another world. The brain. It makes us walk, talk, think…love. Whatever love is. Outside of the operating room however, Reid can’t for the life of him concentrate on his work. A pile of papers is sitting on his desk, staring at him, mocking him.
Luke. Luke. Luke. Paperwork. Luke. Luke. Luke.
“Shit” He sighed. Nothing has ever affected him this way, ever. He was snapped out of his thoughts by his cell phone, and a text from Luke.
Luke Snyder: When is your shift over? Want to go eat something after?
Reid smiled, as he wrote his reply.
It’s over in an hour. Sure, I can never resist food. When and where?
Luke Snyder: Sure it’s the food. ;) I’ll pretend part of the reason is me! I’ll meet you at the hospital.
Reid chuckled, and once again wrote a reply.
Well food and a hot man with delicious lips and a mouth to stick my tongue inside whenever I’d like, I’ll take that. I love stuffing things into my mouth. Okay, I will see you there.
Luke Snyder: Naughty, Reid. ;)
Reid didn’t get it. Naughty? He re-read his reply and once again started chuckling.
Oh get your mind out of the gutter.
---
“Hi!” Luke said as he walked towards Luke. “Am I too early?”
“No, you’re right on time.” Reid said and put down his chart. “Where to?”
“I was thinking Dakota’s steakhouse?”
“Lead the way!” Reid smiled and patted his belly.
“You’re going out?” A voice behind them said. Nate, of course. There he was, frowning, arms crossed - and red with fury.
“Nate” Luke sighed and took a step away from Reid.
“Twinkie boy.” Nate hissed.
“If you’re here to be rude to Luke, you’d better leave right now” Reid said coldly as he crossed his hands over his chest.
“Who the hell are you?” Nate asked and stared at Reid. “You are not the man I knew weeks ago. Hell, ever since you met this, this-“ Nate was trying to find the right words. “home-wrecker of a man, you’ve lost touch with who you are. These are just facts, Reid - I would think you of all people would appreciate that.”
“I’m sorry” Luke whispered, as he looked down. “I didn’t mean to-“
“Are you seriously going to apologize, Luke? You, hell, we don’t have anything at all to apologize for.”
“Are you serious?” Nate laughed, and stared at Reid in disbelief. “Before you met him, we were happy. We were a couple, and we had been for years. It was amazing. And now because of him, all of that is gone.”
“Things change, people move on.” Reid replied.
“Reid, don’t be-“
“Luke, please. He is well of aware of the fact that I am an ass. He can handle it.”
“In all honesty, do you really think Luke will be willing to put up with all your mood swings, your work hours and you generally being an asshole?”
“I am willing to take that chance.” Reid replied and looked at Luke.
“You finding him to be a hot piece of ass does not equal him being willing to put up with someone like you. You should be lucky that I did, asshole.”
“I think I should go, I’m sorry…I can’t-“
“Luke, you can stay.” Reid said and smiled softly at Luke, before turning back to Nate. “If you think I left you to just fuck him, then that really shows how much you do not know about me.” Reid stated. “This, your reaction - it really shows why we would never work, Nate. I don’t hide the fact that I’m an asshole. You on the other hand…”
“I am not an asshole; I am pissed off that you would throw away what we had because of somebody you don’t even know. From what I can tell, he’s a goody two shoes idiot.”
“Okay, that’s it!” Luke snapped, surprising both Reid and Nate. “I am standing right here; don’t talk about me like I’m not. Nate, I’ve been trying to be nice to you, feeling guilty as hell because I started having feelings for your ex-boyfriend, but now - I don’t care anymore. I want Reid and Reid wants me. Back the hell off and leave us alone. Move on with your own life! Reid didn’t love you, and he never will!”
“And he loves you? I don’t think so.” Nate shook his head; his whole body was shaking with fury. “Reid doesn’t love; he won’t let you in. I know him, he won’t. What he and I had was the best he’ll ever have - because I didn’t care that he didn’t love me, I loved him - we were together.”
“Don’t you think that’s a little selfish of you? Staying with somebody who doesn’t love you back, just because you want to be together with him? And for someone who supposedly loves him, you don’t have very much faith in him.” Luke said and glared at Nate.
“He could have left!”
“I did!” Reid exclaimed and rolled his eyes. “Now that you have managed to insult both me and my boyfriend, why don’t you scamper on home, huh?”
“Boyfriend?” Luke asked and smiled at Reid, ignoring the death glare Nate was giving the both of them.
“I’ve been sticking my tongue down your throat for the past couple of weeks; I think it’s only fair to update our status.” Reid said and cupped Luke’s cheek, before suddenly turning serious. “I mean, if that is what you want-”
“Wow, you two are seriously going to have this conversation right in front of me, aren’t you?” Nate sighed. “I’m done. I am, I don’t even…” Nate sighed again as tears formed in his eyes. “I tried to make you happy Reid, I did. I tried my hardest to make sure you would want to stay.” Nate explained. “I thought maybe one day you would love me the way I love you, that time could make it all better. But no.”
“Reid, I really think you two should talk this out alone.” Luke said and put a hand on Reid’s shoulder, rubbing it gently. “I am going outside, and I’ll wait for you there. Go, talk this out.” Luke nodded and gave Reid a reassuring smile.
---
Once Luke left the two of them alone, there were a few long awkward moments before any of them spoke.
“Look, Reid. I’m sorry for my behavior.” Nate sighed and looked back at Reid. “I am well aware that you have been completely honest from the very beginning, so it’s not fair of me to punish you and your…boyfriend, just because I love you.”
“That is correct.” Reid agreed. “I’ve been honest throughout our entire relationship. I never once gave you reason to believe that I loved you. But, just because I don’t love you, doesn’t mean that I don’t care.” Reid sighed. “What I am about to say might make matters even worse for you, so please just try and take it as a compliment. Okay?”
“I don’t want to promise anything.” Nate said. “But sure, try me.”
“Good. I’m going to step way out of my comfort zone here, and talk about…feelings” Reid shrugged. “I may not have loved you the way you love me, but I am very grateful that we have been together. Believe it or not, despite the way I handled our breakup, I am.” Reid smiled. “Knowing that you loved me made me realize that I might be deserving of love after all, and that maybe someday I will be able to love someone back. I haven’t known Luke that long, but I have strong feelings for him, and I feel the walls around me crumble, and it is scary. I don’t want to let them fall, I do not want to love, I don’t.” Reid’s voice was breaking, and he had to take a deep breath. “If I fall in love with him, and he breaks my heart - I won’t ever be able to love again.”
“Reid.” Nate sighed and grabbed Reid’s hand. “Why don’t you get it? You are deserving of love. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever known. I love you. I do hope that you will be able to find someone to love as much as I love you. Luke is right; I have been selfish. I can’t hold onto you for my own selfish needs. If this guy, this Luke is your shot at love…Go for it.”
“What?” Reid asked surprised. “Why the sudden 180? Just a few moments ago, you said-“
“I know” Nate interrupted. “I know, but I can’t do this. Not to you, not to myself. If Luke does let you in, and you fall in love with him - I sincerely hope he won’t break your heart the way you broke mine. It hurts, and it sucks.” A tear ran down to Nate’s chin. “But know this, you deserve to be loved, and you deserve to love. I hope you find happiness, I just wish it could have been with me.”
---
When Nate left, Reid was left alone with his thoughts. He did care about Nate, and felt really guilty that he had hurt him.
“Reid?” Luke asked, and Reid turned around. “I saw Nate leave, how did it go?” Just then, when he saw Luke’s concerned eyes staring at him, he knew. He was indeed falling in love.
“We had a good talk.” Reid replied and walked over to Luke, grabbing his head and kissing him softly, breathing him in. “Thank you.” Reid said as he rested his forehead against Luke’s.
“So, what do you say - you want to take your boyfriend out for dinner?” Luke smiled, and playfully nudged Reid’s shoulder.
“You bet.” Reid replied, his own smile matching Luke’s.
Luke, my boyfriend. It does sound kind of nice, Reid thought as he walked out of the hospital with his beautiful boyfriend by his side.
previous chapters;
chapter 1; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1202472.html
chapter 2; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1208312.html
chapter 3; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1212974.html
chapter 4; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1214828.html
chapter 5; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1219268.html
“But I want to get to know you.” Luke pouted when Reid leaned over to kiss him, partly to make him shut up, and partly to taste those delicious lips again.
“Why?” Reid sighed as he pulled away from Luke. “It’s a waste of valuable make-out time.”
“We’ll have plenty of time to suck face later, Reid” Luke laughed and playfully slapped him. “I just want to get to know you.”
“You know me better than anyone else.”
“I know close to nothing about you.” Luke replied and snuggled up to Reid. “Tell me something about yourself.”
“You really weren’t kidding when you said you were a ‘let’s talk about our feelings’ kind of guy, were you?” Reid dramatically sighed and rubbed his face. “I don’t know, what do you need to know?”
“I don’t know, how about…something about your family? That is standard ‘getting to know each other’ talk, isn’t it?” Luke asked.
“Family, well let’s see. Parents are dead, I’m an only child and I grew up with my Uncle after they passed.” Reid nodded, and looked at Luke.
“I’m so sorry” Luke whispered and leaned in closer. “How did they die?” Luke snuggled in even closer, wrapping his hands tightly around Reid.
“My father died of a brain tumor, and my mother died in a car accident a few years after.” ‘Accident’ was what they said it was. Reid never believed that.
He didn’t like talking about his family, nor did he find it necessary for people know about it, it didn’t matter, he was his own man. His past was in the past, where it should be.
“Oh God, that’s horrible” Reid could tell Luke was tearing up, and softly kissed him on the cheek.
“It was a long time ago.” Reid replied. It was. He had a good memory, he remembered them perfectly well; his parent’s reaction to him coming out, his father withering away from the cancer, the last words he heard his mother speak. He remembered. ‘I want you to know that I love you very much, Reid. Please promise me that you will take care of yourself when I’m gone.’
She gave him a kiss on the cheek and she was gone. He didn’t like letting people in, letting people love him. His mother loved him, but she left - and Reid did not believe it was an accident. Accident. No, it was no accident. She left him, he knew. She must have known that he would figure it out. She knew he was smart.
He usually tells people ‘I was born this way’. He was born a genius; he was a very smart kid and had always lacked social skills. But reasons for him being the way he was came from a long list of scenarios throughout his life. After watching his father slowly die from a brain tumor, he decided he wanted to become a neurologist, to save people’s lives. He had always been fascinated with the brain, but that was when he realized it was his calling in life. He was going to become a brilliant neurosurgeon - and he succeeded.
His unwillingness to let people love him, and to love them in return, that all came from his mother’s “accident”. ‘I want you to know that I love you very much, Reid. Please promise me that you will take care of yourself when I’m gone.’
Then there was dear old Uncle Angus; the master of ‘tough love’. One thing Reid knew for sure was that he never wanted to be like him. Angus wanted him to be a professional chess player, and did everything in his power to make that happen. Forcing Reid to play - punishing him when he lost. ‘This is what it feels like to lose.’
Reid shook his head at the memories. He would tell Luke in time, but not now. Right now he wanted to focus on the feel of Luke’s arms wrapped around him, the concerned, beautiful look in his eyes. On him.
“Let’s talk about something else.” Luke said and kissed Reid. He must have seen it on his face that it was painful to talk about. Who knew this boy could read him so well? Who knew there was somebody out there who could read him, period? That was always Nate’s complaint, that he could never tell what Reid was feeling, that after so many years - he still had no idea how to handle him.
“Fantastic” Reid let out a sigh of relief and smiled at Luke.
---
For the first time in his entire medical career Reid found it difficult to concentrate at work. Surgeries went as flawlessly as always, but once he stepped out of the operating room, it was close to impossible. Once he’s cracked open somebody’s skull, he was in another world. The brain. It makes us walk, talk, think…love. Whatever love is. Outside of the operating room however, Reid can’t for the life of him concentrate on his work. A pile of papers is sitting on his desk, staring at him, mocking him.
Luke. Luke. Luke. Paperwork. Luke. Luke. Luke.
“Shit” He sighed. Nothing has ever affected him this way, ever. He was snapped out of his thoughts by his cell phone, and a text from Luke.
Luke Snyder: When is your shift over? Want to go eat something after?
Reid smiled, as he wrote his reply.
It’s over in an hour. Sure, I can never resist food. When and where?
Luke Snyder: Sure it’s the food. ;) I’ll pretend part of the reason is me! I’ll meet you at the hospital.
Reid chuckled, and once again wrote a reply.
Well food and a hot man with delicious lips and a mouth to stick my tongue inside whenever I’d like, I’ll take that. I love stuffing things into my mouth. Okay, I will see you there.
Luke Snyder: Naughty, Reid. ;)
Reid didn’t get it. Naughty? He re-read his reply and once again started chuckling.
Oh get your mind out of the gutter.
---
“Hi!” Luke said as he walked towards Luke. “Am I too early?”
“No, you’re right on time.” Reid said and put down his chart. “Where to?”
“I was thinking Dakota’s steakhouse?”
“Lead the way!” Reid smiled and patted his belly.
“You’re going out?” A voice behind them said. Nate, of course. There he was, frowning, arms crossed - and red with fury.
“Nate” Luke sighed and took a step away from Reid.
“Twinkie boy.” Nate hissed.
“If you’re here to be rude to Luke, you’d better leave right now” Reid said coldly as he crossed his hands over his chest.
“Who the hell are you?” Nate asked and stared at Reid. “You are not the man I knew weeks ago. Hell, ever since you met this, this-“ Nate was trying to find the right words. “home-wrecker of a man, you’ve lost touch with who you are. These are just facts, Reid - I would think you of all people would appreciate that.”
“I’m sorry” Luke whispered, as he looked down. “I didn’t mean to-“
“Are you seriously going to apologize, Luke? You, hell, we don’t have anything at all to apologize for.”
“Are you serious?” Nate laughed, and stared at Reid in disbelief. “Before you met him, we were happy. We were a couple, and we had been for years. It was amazing. And now because of him, all of that is gone.”
“Things change, people move on.” Reid replied.
“Reid, don’t be-“
“Luke, please. He is well of aware of the fact that I am an ass. He can handle it.”
“In all honesty, do you really think Luke will be willing to put up with all your mood swings, your work hours and you generally being an asshole?”
“I am willing to take that chance.” Reid replied and looked at Luke.
“You finding him to be a hot piece of ass does not equal him being willing to put up with someone like you. You should be lucky that I did, asshole.”
“I think I should go, I’m sorry…I can’t-“
“Luke, you can stay.” Reid said and smiled softly at Luke, before turning back to Nate. “If you think I left you to just fuck him, then that really shows how much you do not know about me.” Reid stated. “This, your reaction - it really shows why we would never work, Nate. I don’t hide the fact that I’m an asshole. You on the other hand…”
“I am not an asshole; I am pissed off that you would throw away what we had because of somebody you don’t even know. From what I can tell, he’s a goody two shoes idiot.”
“Okay, that’s it!” Luke snapped, surprising both Reid and Nate. “I am standing right here; don’t talk about me like I’m not. Nate, I’ve been trying to be nice to you, feeling guilty as hell because I started having feelings for your ex-boyfriend, but now - I don’t care anymore. I want Reid and Reid wants me. Back the hell off and leave us alone. Move on with your own life! Reid didn’t love you, and he never will!”
“And he loves you? I don’t think so.” Nate shook his head; his whole body was shaking with fury. “Reid doesn’t love; he won’t let you in. I know him, he won’t. What he and I had was the best he’ll ever have - because I didn’t care that he didn’t love me, I loved him - we were together.”
“Don’t you think that’s a little selfish of you? Staying with somebody who doesn’t love you back, just because you want to be together with him? And for someone who supposedly loves him, you don’t have very much faith in him.” Luke said and glared at Nate.
“He could have left!”
“I did!” Reid exclaimed and rolled his eyes. “Now that you have managed to insult both me and my boyfriend, why don’t you scamper on home, huh?”
“Boyfriend?” Luke asked and smiled at Reid, ignoring the death glare Nate was giving the both of them.
“I’ve been sticking my tongue down your throat for the past couple of weeks; I think it’s only fair to update our status.” Reid said and cupped Luke’s cheek, before suddenly turning serious. “I mean, if that is what you want-”
“Wow, you two are seriously going to have this conversation right in front of me, aren’t you?” Nate sighed. “I’m done. I am, I don’t even…” Nate sighed again as tears formed in his eyes. “I tried to make you happy Reid, I did. I tried my hardest to make sure you would want to stay.” Nate explained. “I thought maybe one day you would love me the way I love you, that time could make it all better. But no.”
“Reid, I really think you two should talk this out alone.” Luke said and put a hand on Reid’s shoulder, rubbing it gently. “I am going outside, and I’ll wait for you there. Go, talk this out.” Luke nodded and gave Reid a reassuring smile.
---
Once Luke left the two of them alone, there were a few long awkward moments before any of them spoke.
“Look, Reid. I’m sorry for my behavior.” Nate sighed and looked back at Reid. “I am well aware that you have been completely honest from the very beginning, so it’s not fair of me to punish you and your…boyfriend, just because I love you.”
“That is correct.” Reid agreed. “I’ve been honest throughout our entire relationship. I never once gave you reason to believe that I loved you. But, just because I don’t love you, doesn’t mean that I don’t care.” Reid sighed. “What I am about to say might make matters even worse for you, so please just try and take it as a compliment. Okay?”
“I don’t want to promise anything.” Nate said. “But sure, try me.”
“Good. I’m going to step way out of my comfort zone here, and talk about…feelings” Reid shrugged. “I may not have loved you the way you love me, but I am very grateful that we have been together. Believe it or not, despite the way I handled our breakup, I am.” Reid smiled. “Knowing that you loved me made me realize that I might be deserving of love after all, and that maybe someday I will be able to love someone back. I haven’t known Luke that long, but I have strong feelings for him, and I feel the walls around me crumble, and it is scary. I don’t want to let them fall, I do not want to love, I don’t.” Reid’s voice was breaking, and he had to take a deep breath. “If I fall in love with him, and he breaks my heart - I won’t ever be able to love again.”
“Reid.” Nate sighed and grabbed Reid’s hand. “Why don’t you get it? You are deserving of love. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever known. I love you. I do hope that you will be able to find someone to love as much as I love you. Luke is right; I have been selfish. I can’t hold onto you for my own selfish needs. If this guy, this Luke is your shot at love…Go for it.”
“What?” Reid asked surprised. “Why the sudden 180? Just a few moments ago, you said-“
“I know” Nate interrupted. “I know, but I can’t do this. Not to you, not to myself. If Luke does let you in, and you fall in love with him - I sincerely hope he won’t break your heart the way you broke mine. It hurts, and it sucks.” A tear ran down to Nate’s chin. “But know this, you deserve to be loved, and you deserve to love. I hope you find happiness, I just wish it could have been with me.”
---
When Nate left, Reid was left alone with his thoughts. He did care about Nate, and felt really guilty that he had hurt him.
“Reid?” Luke asked, and Reid turned around. “I saw Nate leave, how did it go?” Just then, when he saw Luke’s concerned eyes staring at him, he knew. He was indeed falling in love.
“We had a good talk.” Reid replied and walked over to Luke, grabbing his head and kissing him softly, breathing him in. “Thank you.” Reid said as he rested his forehead against Luke’s.
“So, what do you say - you want to take your boyfriend out for dinner?” Luke smiled, and playfully nudged Reid’s shoulder.
“You bet.” Reid replied, his own smile matching Luke’s.
Luke, my boyfriend. It does sound kind of nice, Reid thought as he walked out of the hospital with his beautiful boyfriend by his side.
previous chapters;
chapter 1; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1202472.html
chapter 2; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1208312.html
chapter 3; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1212974.html
chapter 4; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1214828.html
chapter 5; community.livejournal.com/lure_atwt/1219268.html