heavy cross (2/??)
Title: Heavy Cross (2/?)
Author: daknewwho (keri)
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Reid; and the usual LuRe peeps
Rating: R
Summary: Reid goes to Bay City to pick up the heart. However, the consequences are very very different...
Warnings: Character death
Disclaimer: :sigh: Not mine. I so wish.
A/N: Thanks for giving this story a chance! There is still a LOT of story left.
prologue | chapter 1
They say when you are faced with impending death, your mind drifts to some random memory. As Reid locked eyes with Luke, a memory he had kept deep and buried in his mind came roaring out....
*****
When Reid graduated from high school, his uncle Angus took him out for pizza. Well, more like dragged him out for pizza. At this point in their relationship, they barely spoke to one another. Angus was an alcoholic. He had no drive, no motivation in his life. Reid would come home from school every afternoon and find his uncle passed out on the couch, beer bottles cluttering on the floor, a cigarette in hand. It was the same thing, every day, for five years. His parents left behind a substantial amount of money and his dear, old Uncle Angus couldn’t put his greedy little hands on it quickly enough. His parents made it very clear that a portion of it was to pay for Reid’s schooling. And only he would have access to it, once he turned 18.
He hated his life. He hated Brooklyn. He hated Angus. He hated his school, his “friends”, his teachers. Angus assumed Reid would stay in Brooklyn after graduation, maybe go to a local community college and Reid let Angus think this. But he had bigger, better plans. Little did his uncle know, he applied and was accepted into John Hopkins University. He needed to prove to his uncle, to his parents, to himself, that he could be successful and make something of himself. One of his greatest fears is ending up like his uncle: broke, drunk, and useless. So not only did he decide on medicine, but he decided on the most prolific field in medicine: neurosurgery. John Hopkins had one of the best undergraduate neuroscience programs in the country. Afterwards, he planned on either going to MIT or Harvard University for medical school. Reid knew it would be extremely difficult and his personal life would be non-existent but he didn’t care. He made a promise to himself, that by the age of 30, he would be the most successful neurosurgeon in the country. Uncle Angus be damned.
Reid had humored his uncle and went with him to the local pizza place down the street. They sat, in silence, eating their pizza. It was uncomfortable. It was always uncomfortable. He never forgot, nor forgave Angus for the verbal abuse he had endured during his chess playing days. Every now and then, he could feel the sharp edges of the chess piece digging in his palm as his uncle went off on him about losing. When he quit the game (after his parents died), he took the knight piece out of the set and carried it with him. As a reminder of what failure feels like.
“So um, I was doing some thinking,” Angus finally said, taking a generous swig from his beer.
Reid looked at him, with raised eyebrows. “Oh? I didn’t realize such a thing was possible for you.”
Angus ignored him. “My buddy Tony is looking for a mechanic down at his garage. I know you want to do the college thing but it might be good for you to do this instead. At least for a couple of years. Get some real workin’ experience, you know?”
He stared at Angus. And then started laughing. “I’m sorry. You want me to work... as a mechanic? Are you serious?”
“What! A mechanic is a respectable job. I did it for 25 years before messing up my hand.”
Reid pushed aside his empty plate, shaking his head in disbelief. “Yeah, no. I’m not like you. I don’t want to be like you.”
Angus leaned over the table. “Listen you little shit. I have done a LOT for you. I took you in, gave you a place to stay. Now you gotta repay the favor and help ME out.” His voice was low but menacing.
He rolled his eyes at his uncle. “You have done nothing for me. You gave me a room. That’s it. The bed, the furniture, the money, was all from my parents. I don’t owe you a damn thing.” He threw his napkin onto the table and left the table.
“Don’t you walk away from me boy!”
Reid turned around. “Watch me.”
All of a sudden he was being pushed into the wall, the wind briefly knocked out of him. Angus had his hands on Reid’s chest and his face close. His uncle reeked of booze.
“You ungrateful bastard. Where you gonna go? You have NO ONE. You have no parents. No friends. Nobody likes you. You’re arrogant. Rude. Spiteful. You are going to craaaash and burn, nephew of mine. You’re not going to amount to anything.”
Reid shoved his uncle off of him. “I’m not going to amount to anything? I’m going to medical school, you jackass. I’m leaving in two days for Boston College. I’m going to be the best, most brilliant doctor in this country. Just you wait. And you know what’s funny is that it was YOU who inspired me. So thank YOU, dear uncle.”
Angus chuckled. “You are gonna be alone, Reid. For the rest of your miserable, fucking life. No one will want you. Look at you. You’re angry. You’re miserable. Who wants to be with someone like you? Get out of my face. And don’t ever think about showing yourself around these parts again.” He spat at Reid’s feet.
Instead of feeling anger, Reid felt confident and more sure of himself. Any little ounce of hesitation he had about leaving disappeared. He almost pitied the broken man standing in front of him. He knew, right then and there, that he would never, ever, end up like Angus.
“Oh believe me. I won’t. Maybe I will be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe no one will want me. But I can guarantee, I can promise, I will never be as miserable as you.” He walked out of that pizza place and never saw Uncle Angus again.
*****
The sound of Luke’s voice snapped him back to the present. He shook his head, trying to wipe the memory away. He’s not sure why he thought of that particular exchange. Perhaps it was because he finally proved his uncle wrong. He did amount to something. He did find someone who wanted to be with him, who loves him in spite of everything he is (and is not). He was not going to let Angus win. He was going to be happy with his career and with Luke. He wasn’t going to let some stupid train take all of that away from him -from them.
“Reid, help.... Reid, the train... my seatbelt!” Luke was pulling at the belt, trying to get it loose. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god,” he moaned.
Reid replaced Luke’s hands with his own but it wouldn’t budge. “Okay, maybe if you put the car in neutral, I can get out and push the car off the tracks. Luke, we gotta work quickly. We’re barely on the tracks so we can do this. We need to be fast.” He was babbling but he didn’t care. He reached for the door when he felt Luke’s hand on his shoulder.
“We don’t have time,” Luke murmured softly. “You need to get out and get away from the car bef--.”
“What? We have time. There’s time! We just need to be quick, Luke.” He leaned over to put the car in neutral but Luke grabbed his hand and kissed it. Reid looked at him again and started shaking his head, moaning softly. “No,” he pleaded. “No, Luke.”
“The train is coming and it’s coming fast. Reid, please please get out of the car and get to safety.”
“No, Luke! I’m not leaving you!” How dare he suggest such a thing.
“Please Reid, please save yourself. Get out of the car! I’m begging you. Please please please.” Luke pleaded frantically.
“You think I’m going to leave you in here? By yourself? Watch the train hit the car, hit you? No. No no no no no. I won’t, Luke. I won’t leave you. There’s still time to get you out!”
Reid continued to work on the seatbelt. Pulling, pushing, yanking, biting, trying to get it undone but it wouldn’t budge. He reached in the glove box and yanked out an old first aid kid. He dumped the contents onto the floor and pushed aside band-aids and gauze for a pair of scissors, a knife, something. But found nothing. “God dammit!” he yelled in frustration.
“Reid... please....” he heard softly. He turned back to Luke who was watching him with tears in his eyes.
He leaned back to Luke and folded him into his arms. How could this be happening? Was this a joke? Was this a cruel nightmare? He had just told Luke he loves him. God wouldn’t be that cruel to him, to Luke. Yes, he was an arrogant jackass who deserved anything he got. But Luke? Luke was perfect. Luke treated everyone fairly. Luke loved unconditionally. Was this punishment? Did Reid piss off God just a little too much and this was what he was doing as payback?
Reid knew one thing. He was not leaving Luke’s side. He could not leave the car and stand off to the side, watching the train hit his whole life, his whole future. Luke was an idiot for even suggesting it.
“I love you. I love you. I’m not going to leave you. God, I love you,” he kept murmuring in Luke’s hair. He felt Luke burrow his head into his neck and he mimicked the gesture. He inhaled deeply, breathing him in one last time. They clung to each other, shielding the other from the impending crash.
Reid felt hot tears on his neck and he knew Luke was crying. He kissed his neck, his cheek. He pulled his head away and kissed Luke’s eyes, his nose, the corner of his mouth, his lips. He could taste the hot tears on Luke’s lips but he didn’t care. If this was how it was going to end, he wanted it this way; in Luke’s arms, tasting him one last time. They pulled apart and stared into each other’s eyes, blue eyes on brown; conveying everything they were feeling into this one, single moment. Luke’s slowly brought his hands up to touch Reid’s face. His fingers lightly grazed his cheek, his thumb gently rubbing over his lips. Reid could see the fear escaping Luke’s eyes, the tears had stopped. He leaned into the touch. Kissed his palm.
“I love you. Always. Forever.” He wasn’t sure which man had said it. They both could have. They both did.
The train’s horn was blaring loudly but in that very moment, it felt like time had stood still. Reid hungrily feasted his eyes on Luke’s face, trying to memorize every single feature. The beautiful brown eyes with just a hint of green; the light freckles splayed across his nose; the thin pink lips he could feast on for all eternity; the flawless baby smooth skin. He tenderly cupped his cheek. “Smile, Luke,” he whispered. And when Luke smiled, he smiled. “Those dimples....” he said softly, gently running his fingers over them.
Instead of fear and panic, Reid felt calm and peaceful. This was where he wanted to be. With Luke, holding him, ending it all together. There was no other place he would rather be. No other way to go.
They folded into one another again, holding each other one last time. Reid could feel Luke’s heart against his chest, beating fast. He buried his face into Luke’s neck. He closed his eyes.
And then... darkness.