Always Attract (Chapter 38)
Title: Always Attract (Chapter 38)
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,332
Chapter Summary: The Fallout
Notes: The sex technically took place in the late morning, so this is like evening time now. Y'all wanted it, so here it is!
Luke sat in the chair in the corner; legs tucked in and stared at the sleeping man in his bed. He couldn’t believe he actually let what happened, happen. Oh god, I’m gonna be sick. Luke ran into the adjoining bathroom and threw up. He continued throwing up for a good five minutes before it finally subsided. “I can’t believe I did that,” he said shaking.
Reid started to stir in his sleep. He woke up to find Luke gone. He heard a noise coming from the bathroom and he got up to check it out. It sounded like Luke was throwing up and Reid’s suspicions were correct when he opened the door to find a shaking Luke kneeling in front of the toilet. “Luke,” he said with a soft voice, “Are you sick? What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” Luke said loudly, tears pouring out. “You’re seriously going to ask me what’s wrong?”
“You’re shaking. Come here, you need to lie down.”
“Pssh, yeah, I’d bet you’d like that wouldn’t you?”
“What in the hell does that mean?” he asked, eyes narrowing.
“It means you got what you came for didn’t you? You wanted to fuck me. Mission accomplished. You’re free to go.”
“Don’t,” Reid said shaking his head. “Just don’t. You know that that’s not what this was about, so don’t pretend like it was.”
“Oh my god,” Luke said rubbing his hands over his face, “I let you fuck me in the apartment I share with Noah. I let you fuck me in our bed!”
“Yeah, you did,” Reid simply said.
“That’s not me,” Luke said defeated.
“I know it’s not, so you have to ask yourself why Luke.” Luke looked up at him, still shaking slightly and crying. “What I said to you earlier,” Reid carried on. “I meant it. I love you.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Luke conceded. “I shouldn’t have let it happen. You want more than I can give you.”
“I just want you,” Reid said growing frustrated. “I don’t care about anything else.”
“But I do,” he shouted. “What do you want Reid? You want forever with me? You want to grow old together and hold my hand in some corner of some small fucking restaurant? It’s never going to happen! I can’t give you forever!”
“Is he really worth that to you? Noah. He’s an ass Luke. You may not want to see it, but he is.”
“He’s not as bad as you think,” Luke said deflated.
“Yeah.” Reid gave a little nod. “Maybe you’re still a little light headed from the throwing up because you’re obviously delusional.” Neither one said anything for a moment and Reid just shook his head again and looked at Luke. “Do you love him?” he asked. Luke glanced up briefly before looking back down. He was playing with his bottom lip and his breath hitched when he saw Reid’s feet move forward. “Do you love me?” Luke stopped moving his hand and looked up at Reid, who had something in his eyes? Water? No, Reid doesn’t cry. He settled his eyes on Reid’s chest and gently shook his head from side to side. “I can’t answer that. I just….I need you to go.”
“That’s bullshit,” Reid said, his voice growing edgier. “You’re running away. What a fucking surprise.”
Luke’s head shot up. “And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, you left Chicago without even blinking an eye, so…”
“Oh,” Luke said shaking his head angrily. “FUCK YOU! I waited for you. You left me, remember. You fucked me, and you left.”
“I HAD TO GO IN TO WORK!”
“You promised you’d be back in time.”
“I promised we’d see each other again.”
“Well congratulations. Here we are. How many months later? Reid Oliver, ladies and gentlemen. Always fucking right!” he said sarcastically.
“I didn’t want to leave you, you know that. If I could’ve stayed, I would have. I had to go. What was your excuse?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“You’re some rich kid who has private cars and planes at your disposal anytime you need them. What the fuck was so important where you couldn’t wait a little longer. I missed you by five fucking minutes, did you know that? Five fucking minutes!”
“I had to get home. My family was expecting me.”
Reid let out a sigh. “Screw your family Luke. Don’t use them as an excuse. You didn’t want to stay because you were scared. Noah screwed you up so badly. I was a little late and you thought I had dismissed you because that’s exactly what he did over and over again. You should have had more faith in me. You knew me. You should’ve known I wouldn’t have done that. I’m not him.”
“Yeah, you’re right. You’re not. And I don’t need you to psychoanalyze me or blame me for what happened.”
“I’m not.”
“Really? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like. You missed me. Yeah, maybe I could’ve stayed, but what about you? Couldn’t you call? I guess it would’ve been too much to strain your fingers right after a long surgery, huh?” Luke shook his head. “You’re pathetic. I wasn’t the only one that was scared, but you could never admit something like that, could you? God forbid you let anyone realize you’re not perfect, let alone have feelings.”
“Yeah. That’s it,” he nodded. “I can’t admit that I’m not perfect, right?” he said as tears started to form in his eyes. “Because I don’t feel. I don’t care about anyone but myself. I don’t give a crap about my patients. Annie Judd, Karen Jacobs…..they’re just collateral damage on my record, along with the rest of them I couldn’t save. You. Yeah. I don’t love you. I can’t, right? Because that would also require me to have emotions. You were just another in a long string of occasional fucks. Putting myself out there. It’s just been for fun, right!?” he said wiping the tear falling down from his cheek. “By the way, when did you change your phone number?”
“What?” Luke asked.
“Was it before or after you and Noah got back together again? It was really nice of you by the way to text me or call me with the new one. Oh, well, it would have been if you had bothered to.” Luke continued to stare at him disbelieving. He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t. Oh god. Luke closed his eyes to try to keep the tears from escaping. “I may have been late Luke….in a lot of ways, but I tried. Eventually, I tried. Why didn’t you?” he wondered. Luke stared at him, almost willing himself to speak when Reid turned around to walk out of the room. Luke started walking after him. “Reid,” he said breathlessly.
“What?” he asked expectantly. Luke tried speaking again, but nothing would come out. “Just tell me Luke. Tell me what you want and tell me the truth.”
“I………I can’t,” he said defeated. “I care about you.”
“You care about me?”
“Yes, I just…..”
“I don’t want you to care about me Luke. You care about a friend or a fucking dog…….I want you to love me. I want you to promise forever with me. Can you do that?”
Luke watched him painfully before shaking his head and speaking softly. “No…..I can’t.”
He nodded knowingly. “Good thing I don’t feel right?” Reid said, sadly smirking before turning around and walking out the front door of the apartment.
As soon as the door shut, Luke’s knees hit the living room floor. He clenched his stomach and started rocking back and forth. There was no escaping the uncontrollable sobs. He hurt. Everywhere. He knew he’d hurt Reid eventually and it was better to do it sooner, rather than later, but it still didn’t stop the pain he felt. Eventually the tears subsided and Luke fell asleep curled up on the living room floor where he remained for the rest of the night….alone.
Extra A/N: Yes, I did cry while I wrote this. I think I might have been extremely emotional at the time or something because this just poured out of me, lol.