Retrograde CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Title: Retrograde
Author Lure247 (AKA Laura)
Characters/Pairings: previous Noah/Luke, but there'll be none of that continuing in the story Luke / Reid
Summary: Luke ends up in Parkland hospital Dallas, severely injured, luckily one of the world's top neurosurgeons is on call that night. Unfortunately for Luke, he seems to have lost something......... however, this may not be quite so unfortunate for Reid ;-)
Warnings: This chapter has language, this is AU, chapters vary from PG 13 to NC 17
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters; if I did then things would be different
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Never in my career as a neurosurgeon have I ever not wanted to be in the operating room, never, this is what I live for, what I get out of bed in the morning for.............except now. My mind isn’t here, I know where it is, I just can’t seem to get it back, it’s still in that room, “his” room, where he is, where I was, where I left him. I keep tasting him, a strange, unexpected taste, not at all what I had been expecting....had I been expecting it, had I wanted it?
I keep sensing his lips against mine, I’m back in that room, his body close to mine, I’m holding him, more to keep him steady than anything else as I can feel the wobble in his knees reverberate through his whole body, he’s trembling in my arms and I want to keep him safe, still and steady.
The way he looked at me had me nervous……… I’m never nervous, never unsure of myself, my next move, I play people like pawns on a chess board, always knowing how to counter attack, to fool them, to get the upper hand…..but not with him, I never know where to make my next move, my pieces are abandoned without me, left stranded to be taken, but willingly so, I want him to take them, all of them, all my pieces.
What was I doing, what was I thinking? He’s my patient, I’m his doctor, I should never have listened to Kyle, I knew that, before I went in, I knew, that’s why I’ve been distant, keeping my distance, safe and comfortable, getting my life back to normality.......which was what exactly Reid, what is normal?
The conclusion to my predicament is clear however, the only thing I am sure about is that Mr Snyder needs to be out of my orbit, whether he transfers to another hospital or I recommend him to Doctor Richards, both of which causes me pain to even consider, but I can’t continue like this........can’t continue to feel like...........shit, I should have clamped that......focus Reid, Jesus!
As the nurse mops my brow, I know she suspects something; I can hear her brain thinking “Doctor Oliver isn’t on form today.” I know I’m not, do you not think that I don’t know that and it’s all Luke Snyder’s fault, the way he looks at me, the way he teases me, makes me want something I know I can’t have, something which I know is impossible, out of my reach, but which I know could be good, I know because it felt good, when I had my lips to his chest it felt right, felt warm. Why is he doing this to me?
“it’s not a life, it’s an existence. “ His words twist and turn like a snake in my mind, each time I think it’s forgotten it slithers it’s way back around again to bite me, reminding me that in some part I agree with him, that I do just exist, I don’t live, but I prefer being this way, doing what I want, when I want, on my own, I prefer that……don’t I?
*********************************************************************************************************
“You paged me?” Reid questioned the nurse, having once more been dragged back to Mr Snyder’s room, although, Reid hadn’t seemed to realise, that he’d hardly been kicking and screaming. It’d been 8 hours ago, one long surgery, one quick lunch, one brief chat with his chief of staff and two lavatory visits since that kiss and not for one solitary second had it left Reid’s thoughts.
“Yes, Mr Snyder has a little bleeding from his stitches, I wondered if you could please check, I’m pretty sure they need re-stitching” The nurse replied
“He’s been scratching?” Reid implied
The nurse shrugged “I asked, he looked sheepish, but denied it.”
“Hmm, well if he is either the bandage is going back on or he’ll have to wear mittens….excuse me!” Reid replied, attempting to walk past the nurse, who stood in his way.
“Sorry Doctor, but where are you going...Mr Snyder? I need you to check on his stitches, that’s why I paged you.”
Reid sighed, his mind had taken over, not wanting to step back inside that room, wanting to take him far away from here, home, where he could sleep, process, think his next move through, his strategy, how to deal with Mr Snyder. He’d thought he’d be able to sleep on it, but no, he kept being brought back here, outside this room, as he glanced up at the window he saw Luke catch his gaze and he smiled, a nervous smile. Luke had a packet in his hand, small white cards within which he was looking through. Once more Reid left out a heavy breath and reached his hand for the door, turning to the nurse “You can go.” He then stepped into the room.
Neither man spoke for many seconds; if either of them had been counting they’d have realised that it was precisely sixty nine seconds before Luke let a little sigh escape and he opened his mouth.
“Hi”
After all that, all the waiting, the awkwardness, hi, was all he could think of to say, where did they go from where they’d left it earlier, how could they move forwards from that, if Reid wasn’t prepared to go down that path, where did that leave them now, Luke thought.
Reid’s voice was shaky as he spoke, slightly broken in places as he walked closer to the bed, now realising that what Luke had in his hands was a packet of photographs, the top most one was of Noah and Luke, Noah with his arm around Luke’s shoulder, Reid noted that they actually looked pretty happy “I’m…….just here to check on your stitches Luke, that’s all, one minute, then I’ll be gone.” Reid reached into a drawer by Luke’s bedside and pulled out a couple of gloves, slipping them onto his hands with one quick motion he then parted Luke’s hair at where he’d made the incision on the operating table over a week ago, Luke shivered slightly at the touch. “You’ve been scratching!”
“No” Luke replied
“It wasn’t a question Mr Snyder, it was a statement, you have been scratching, I can see blood under your fingernails.”
“It’s so itchy.” Luke stated as he clenched his hands into the sheet, the doctor touching that sensitive area was just heightening his need to scratch.
“It will be, but…….I can see tissue Mr Snyder, you’ve scratched your stitches out, if you continue to do this I’ll have to bandage your head again and you wouldn’t want that now would you?”
Luke turned quickly, Reid’s hands falling from Luke’s head and landing by his side, he looked up at the doctor who looked a little startled “What are you doing?”
Reid narrowed his eyes at Luke and stepped back from the bed slightly “I’m being a responsible Neurosurgeon protecting my patient from his own reckless
behaviour……..what are you doing?”
“I……I…..no you’re not…..you’re doing anything other than discussing the fact that you kissed me!” Luke replied.
“We kissed each other.”
“Yeah, but I don’t feel guilty about it, you do! That’s why you’re pretending that everything’s normal, pretending that nothing happened, you want to forget that the whole thing went down?” Luke’s voice didn’t sound angry; in fact Reid noted that it sounded more sad than angry.
“I haven’t forgotten” Reid replied, his voice was deep, dark, sensual, but he hadn’t meant for it to be that way, he’d meant to turn around, walk back out of the door, stop talking, but he just couldn’t stop himself, I don’t owe him an explanation, Reid thought, we shouldn’t be discussing this.
“Good to know!” Luke stated, smiling lightly, reaching a hand out to Reid’s, his still gloved hand, which he brought behind him, away from Luke.
“All I said Luke was that I hadn’t forgotten, but…..I think it would be best for everyone if things went back to how they were before this morning! Actually…” Reid paused for a second as he swallowed, then continued “I think it would be best if I transferred you to another doctor.”
“What? But you told me you’re the best, why would you do that? You’d risk my health over your self worth, over your need to constantly be in control of everything….?”
Luke stopped, gripped in panic, he needed Reid, apart from his Grandmother he was the only person he felt a connection with, someone who he felt was on his side, against his will he felt tears trickle down his cheek and he turned to Reid “I need you…..as a doctor, first and foremost, I don’t want anyone else.”
“Me continuing as your doctor Luke, you don’t see how that could cause a problem?”
“I won’t let it be, I promise.”
“OK” Ok? Reid couldn’t understand why he’d just said OK, he’d had himself convinced before entering Luke’s room, Luke would be transferred to Doctor Richards, he could dust his hands clean, get some space between him and Mr Snyder, time to breathe again, time to re-focus, why was he now saying OK? “Let’s just see how the next ten minutes go, shall we? After that I’ll make my decision”
Luke didn’t agree, in fact he didn’t actually say anything, a small whimper escaped and after that the next ten minutes where spent in silence as Reid carefully re-stitched Luke’s open wound. Luckily Luke hadn’t burrowed deep enough to get to the staple stitching, just the top layer and Reid closed the opening with expert precision.
“It’s almost like you’ve done that before” Luke stated, if anything he said it to break the silence, the uneasiness.
“Hmm.” Reid replied, then looking down at the pictures in Luke’s lap he stated “I see Noah always had that slight squint to his eyes.” Reid pointed at the picture; he had to admit to himself that Luke looked hot! Nice smile, showing his dimples, turning slightly towards Noah, who was looking outwards at the camera.
“I don’t remember any of these being taken……….it’s crazy, I remember being there.” Luke took out a picture of Luke and Noah with a gang of friends, all dancing, laughing “I can picture the night as if it happened yesterday, we were celebrating my 21st……but I don’t remember being there with Noah! My Grandmother brought them in this morning, just after you and I…………..” Luke coughed nervously “Anyway………she thought they might help jog my memory, but they haven’t helped at all.”
“Are there any of your parents?” Reid asked, finishing the stitching and throwing the needle and his gloves into the sterilisation bin.
“Some! Why’d you ask?” Luke enquired, slightly puzzled.
“Err” Reid replied confused, sitting himself onto the edge of the bed, Luke’s legs crossed he fitted in the big space at the bottom of the bed “Your Grandmother has actually given very smart advice, seeing picture’s may help you remember.”
Luke laughed a little “But I remember my parents, it’s Noah I don’t remember.”
“No! I mean, it may help to remember what happened, not their memory, but the accident.”
Luke didn’t seem to be listening, he muttered slightly under his breath and Reid felt suddenly cold as he noticed the blank spaced out look upon Luke's face, it was a horrifyingly chilling sight, Luke was staring at a spot in the distance, Reid turned his head to see, but there was nothing there, just wall, as he turned back to look at Luke he caught the last part of the sentence he was mumbling “……wish she'd reply to my text.”
“Who? Reply to what text?” Reid asked
“What?” Luke responded, he hadn’t said anything, had he?
“You just said, I wish she’d reply to my text…………who?”
“No I didn’t” Luke protested.
“Give me your phone!” Reid demanded of Luke and Luke immediately searched his side table, finding his phone and handing it over to Reid.
Reid searched through the phone, it bleeped and blurped for several seconds as he tried to figure out the settings, then he found the messages, getting into the sent texts he searched through the last few entries, then he saw it and he instantly felt sick, a lump at the back of his throat, which only grew as he continued to read..
TO: MUM
Hey! Grandmother says you and Dad aren’t reachable, where are you? I’m in hospital, in Dallas….. don’t panic, I’m fine, just ring me, please!
Love you
Luke
X
“Oh my god….Luke.” Reid looked at the date on the text, three days ago, after Luke had been told about the death of his parents “Please tell me you remember what happened to your parents?”
Luke clenched his fists tight “I know you are pissed at me Doctor Oliver, for making you, no…I take that back, I didn’t make you…..you’re pissed at me for the fact that you feel something towards me, like it’s my fault, but don’t make fun of me because of it.”
“I’m not Luke….I’m….”
Luke interrupted “Then why would you even ask me that? Why would you? You know my parents are dead….I don’t understand, why are you doing this?”
“Because of this” Reid replied, handing the phone back to Luke, the message still showing brightly on the display and Reid watched as Luke read the message.
“Wha……I didn’t type that.” Luke looked up at Reid, his eyes now full of water, tears streaming readily down his face, “I didn’t, I swear, you must believe me, I didn’t write that, I know they’re dead, we spoke about it just this morning…......”
“Luke, I just heard you say it, I heard you ask yourself why she hasn't replied to your text and then instantly I saw the look on your face, that you didn’t know where you’d been, like you’d blacked out for a few seconds.”
“I don’t understand…..what does this mean?”
“It means two things Luke” Reid consciously called him Luke and not Mr Snyder, he didn’t deserve the Mr Snyder, he knew that now “Firstly it means that there’s been more damage to your brain then I originally concluded, which unfortunately for me also means that secondly……….. I’ve failed to do my job" Reid sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I promised myself when I graduated that I would always do my job to the best of my abilities, but not this time, with you I’ve failed, because I let other factors get in the way, I shouldn’t have done that……” Reid was shaking his head furiously, so angry with himself.
Luke reached his hand forward and laid it to rest above Reid’s “You haven’t failed Doctor Oliver, just tell me how I get through this……I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Reid shook his head “Obviously I can’t state it as a fact without some initial scans, but I fear Luke that there’ll be nothing we can do" Reid saw Luke's face fall, he quickly added "....but let’s get the scans done first before……..”
"Are you saying that you'll continue to be my doctor?" Luke asked, just about managing to raise a very small smile.
"Of course! Like you said Luke, I'm the best.............."Reid said, sounding sure of himself and then much much softer he added "you need the best!" he kept his eyes down, at the bedsheets, not making eye contact with Luke.
“Reid” Luke spoke, returning the softness in his voice now, his hand still on Reid’s he stroked his thumb across his overturned palm lightly “If you feel anything for me at all, tell me the worst………tell me how bad it could be!”
Reid now made eye contact and smiled at Luke, whose face still had tears readily falling down it, it was whilst looking at Luke in this state that Reid considered for a moment the possibility that resistance was useless, he was irrevocably drawn to him, whether he liked it or not, the question was whether Reid’s will power would win out.
“Worst case……” Reid stated, pulling his hand from underneath Luke’s and scratching his head, his willpower was holding out, for now….”Your brain won’t be able to process new memories, you’ll forget them moments after they’ve been created, you’ll forget …”
Reid stopped; there was a knock at the door.
“GO AWAY!” Reid shouted, but as he turned to the door he saw Kyle’s face appear in the window next to it, Reid shook his head and waved Kyle into the room, as his head peeped through the door Reid asked in his most annoyed tone “What?”
“Err…..I’m sorry but this is important” Kyle responded stepping into the room.
“Oh! That’s good Kyle, because this isn’t” Reid stated, pointing between him and Luke.
“We’ve got CCTV footage of your attack Luke.” Kyle said softly, looking at Luke and ignoring Reid’s comment completely “Do you think you’d be OK to take a look at it?”
Luke didn’t speak for a moment; he was receiving too much information in such a short space of time, Reid’s revelation had left him dumfounded and now this……the possibility of seeing the faces of the men who’d done this to him. Reid had been the bearer of news of the outcome and now Kyle bringing him news of the cause, how he’d gotten into this state and would it help? Would it change things? No, but did he want to see that tape……Luke new the answer to that……
“Yes”
Author Lure247 (AKA Laura)
Characters/Pairings: previous Noah/Luke, but there'll be none of that continuing in the story Luke / Reid
Summary: Luke ends up in Parkland hospital Dallas, severely injured, luckily one of the world's top neurosurgeons is on call that night. Unfortunately for Luke, he seems to have lost something......... however, this may not be quite so unfortunate for Reid ;-)
Warnings: This chapter has language, this is AU, chapters vary from PG 13 to NC 17
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters; if I did then things would be different
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Never in my career as a neurosurgeon have I ever not wanted to be in the operating room, never, this is what I live for, what I get out of bed in the morning for.............except now. My mind isn’t here, I know where it is, I just can’t seem to get it back, it’s still in that room, “his” room, where he is, where I was, where I left him. I keep tasting him, a strange, unexpected taste, not at all what I had been expecting....had I been expecting it, had I wanted it?
I keep sensing his lips against mine, I’m back in that room, his body close to mine, I’m holding him, more to keep him steady than anything else as I can feel the wobble in his knees reverberate through his whole body, he’s trembling in my arms and I want to keep him safe, still and steady.
The way he looked at me had me nervous……… I’m never nervous, never unsure of myself, my next move, I play people like pawns on a chess board, always knowing how to counter attack, to fool them, to get the upper hand…..but not with him, I never know where to make my next move, my pieces are abandoned without me, left stranded to be taken, but willingly so, I want him to take them, all of them, all my pieces.
What was I doing, what was I thinking? He’s my patient, I’m his doctor, I should never have listened to Kyle, I knew that, before I went in, I knew, that’s why I’ve been distant, keeping my distance, safe and comfortable, getting my life back to normality.......which was what exactly Reid, what is normal?
The conclusion to my predicament is clear however, the only thing I am sure about is that Mr Snyder needs to be out of my orbit, whether he transfers to another hospital or I recommend him to Doctor Richards, both of which causes me pain to even consider, but I can’t continue like this........can’t continue to feel like...........shit, I should have clamped that......focus Reid, Jesus!
As the nurse mops my brow, I know she suspects something; I can hear her brain thinking “Doctor Oliver isn’t on form today.” I know I’m not, do you not think that I don’t know that and it’s all Luke Snyder’s fault, the way he looks at me, the way he teases me, makes me want something I know I can’t have, something which I know is impossible, out of my reach, but which I know could be good, I know because it felt good, when I had my lips to his chest it felt right, felt warm. Why is he doing this to me?
“it’s not a life, it’s an existence. “ His words twist and turn like a snake in my mind, each time I think it’s forgotten it slithers it’s way back around again to bite me, reminding me that in some part I agree with him, that I do just exist, I don’t live, but I prefer being this way, doing what I want, when I want, on my own, I prefer that……don’t I?
*********************************************************************************************************
“You paged me?” Reid questioned the nurse, having once more been dragged back to Mr Snyder’s room, although, Reid hadn’t seemed to realise, that he’d hardly been kicking and screaming. It’d been 8 hours ago, one long surgery, one quick lunch, one brief chat with his chief of staff and two lavatory visits since that kiss and not for one solitary second had it left Reid’s thoughts.
“Yes, Mr Snyder has a little bleeding from his stitches, I wondered if you could please check, I’m pretty sure they need re-stitching” The nurse replied
“He’s been scratching?” Reid implied
The nurse shrugged “I asked, he looked sheepish, but denied it.”
“Hmm, well if he is either the bandage is going back on or he’ll have to wear mittens….excuse me!” Reid replied, attempting to walk past the nurse, who stood in his way.
“Sorry Doctor, but where are you going...Mr Snyder? I need you to check on his stitches, that’s why I paged you.”
Reid sighed, his mind had taken over, not wanting to step back inside that room, wanting to take him far away from here, home, where he could sleep, process, think his next move through, his strategy, how to deal with Mr Snyder. He’d thought he’d be able to sleep on it, but no, he kept being brought back here, outside this room, as he glanced up at the window he saw Luke catch his gaze and he smiled, a nervous smile. Luke had a packet in his hand, small white cards within which he was looking through. Once more Reid left out a heavy breath and reached his hand for the door, turning to the nurse “You can go.” He then stepped into the room.
Neither man spoke for many seconds; if either of them had been counting they’d have realised that it was precisely sixty nine seconds before Luke let a little sigh escape and he opened his mouth.
“Hi”
After all that, all the waiting, the awkwardness, hi, was all he could think of to say, where did they go from where they’d left it earlier, how could they move forwards from that, if Reid wasn’t prepared to go down that path, where did that leave them now, Luke thought.
Reid’s voice was shaky as he spoke, slightly broken in places as he walked closer to the bed, now realising that what Luke had in his hands was a packet of photographs, the top most one was of Noah and Luke, Noah with his arm around Luke’s shoulder, Reid noted that they actually looked pretty happy “I’m…….just here to check on your stitches Luke, that’s all, one minute, then I’ll be gone.” Reid reached into a drawer by Luke’s bedside and pulled out a couple of gloves, slipping them onto his hands with one quick motion he then parted Luke’s hair at where he’d made the incision on the operating table over a week ago, Luke shivered slightly at the touch. “You’ve been scratching!”
“No” Luke replied
“It wasn’t a question Mr Snyder, it was a statement, you have been scratching, I can see blood under your fingernails.”
“It’s so itchy.” Luke stated as he clenched his hands into the sheet, the doctor touching that sensitive area was just heightening his need to scratch.
“It will be, but…….I can see tissue Mr Snyder, you’ve scratched your stitches out, if you continue to do this I’ll have to bandage your head again and you wouldn’t want that now would you?”
Luke turned quickly, Reid’s hands falling from Luke’s head and landing by his side, he looked up at the doctor who looked a little startled “What are you doing?”
Reid narrowed his eyes at Luke and stepped back from the bed slightly “I’m being a responsible Neurosurgeon protecting my patient from his own reckless
behaviour……..what are you doing?”
“I……I…..no you’re not…..you’re doing anything other than discussing the fact that you kissed me!” Luke replied.
“We kissed each other.”
“Yeah, but I don’t feel guilty about it, you do! That’s why you’re pretending that everything’s normal, pretending that nothing happened, you want to forget that the whole thing went down?” Luke’s voice didn’t sound angry; in fact Reid noted that it sounded more sad than angry.
“I haven’t forgotten” Reid replied, his voice was deep, dark, sensual, but he hadn’t meant for it to be that way, he’d meant to turn around, walk back out of the door, stop talking, but he just couldn’t stop himself, I don’t owe him an explanation, Reid thought, we shouldn’t be discussing this.
“Good to know!” Luke stated, smiling lightly, reaching a hand out to Reid’s, his still gloved hand, which he brought behind him, away from Luke.
“All I said Luke was that I hadn’t forgotten, but…..I think it would be best for everyone if things went back to how they were before this morning! Actually…” Reid paused for a second as he swallowed, then continued “I think it would be best if I transferred you to another doctor.”
“What? But you told me you’re the best, why would you do that? You’d risk my health over your self worth, over your need to constantly be in control of everything….?”
Luke stopped, gripped in panic, he needed Reid, apart from his Grandmother he was the only person he felt a connection with, someone who he felt was on his side, against his will he felt tears trickle down his cheek and he turned to Reid “I need you…..as a doctor, first and foremost, I don’t want anyone else.”
“Me continuing as your doctor Luke, you don’t see how that could cause a problem?”
“I won’t let it be, I promise.”
“OK” Ok? Reid couldn’t understand why he’d just said OK, he’d had himself convinced before entering Luke’s room, Luke would be transferred to Doctor Richards, he could dust his hands clean, get some space between him and Mr Snyder, time to breathe again, time to re-focus, why was he now saying OK? “Let’s just see how the next ten minutes go, shall we? After that I’ll make my decision”
Luke didn’t agree, in fact he didn’t actually say anything, a small whimper escaped and after that the next ten minutes where spent in silence as Reid carefully re-stitched Luke’s open wound. Luckily Luke hadn’t burrowed deep enough to get to the staple stitching, just the top layer and Reid closed the opening with expert precision.
“It’s almost like you’ve done that before” Luke stated, if anything he said it to break the silence, the uneasiness.
“Hmm.” Reid replied, then looking down at the pictures in Luke’s lap he stated “I see Noah always had that slight squint to his eyes.” Reid pointed at the picture; he had to admit to himself that Luke looked hot! Nice smile, showing his dimples, turning slightly towards Noah, who was looking outwards at the camera.
“I don’t remember any of these being taken……….it’s crazy, I remember being there.” Luke took out a picture of Luke and Noah with a gang of friends, all dancing, laughing “I can picture the night as if it happened yesterday, we were celebrating my 21st……but I don’t remember being there with Noah! My Grandmother brought them in this morning, just after you and I…………..” Luke coughed nervously “Anyway………she thought they might help jog my memory, but they haven’t helped at all.”
“Are there any of your parents?” Reid asked, finishing the stitching and throwing the needle and his gloves into the sterilisation bin.
“Some! Why’d you ask?” Luke enquired, slightly puzzled.
“Err” Reid replied confused, sitting himself onto the edge of the bed, Luke’s legs crossed he fitted in the big space at the bottom of the bed “Your Grandmother has actually given very smart advice, seeing picture’s may help you remember.”
Luke laughed a little “But I remember my parents, it’s Noah I don’t remember.”
“No! I mean, it may help to remember what happened, not their memory, but the accident.”
Luke didn’t seem to be listening, he muttered slightly under his breath and Reid felt suddenly cold as he noticed the blank spaced out look upon Luke's face, it was a horrifyingly chilling sight, Luke was staring at a spot in the distance, Reid turned his head to see, but there was nothing there, just wall, as he turned back to look at Luke he caught the last part of the sentence he was mumbling “……wish she'd reply to my text.”
“Who? Reply to what text?” Reid asked
“What?” Luke responded, he hadn’t said anything, had he?
“You just said, I wish she’d reply to my text…………who?”
“No I didn’t” Luke protested.
“Give me your phone!” Reid demanded of Luke and Luke immediately searched his side table, finding his phone and handing it over to Reid.
Reid searched through the phone, it bleeped and blurped for several seconds as he tried to figure out the settings, then he found the messages, getting into the sent texts he searched through the last few entries, then he saw it and he instantly felt sick, a lump at the back of his throat, which only grew as he continued to read..
TO: MUM
Hey! Grandmother says you and Dad aren’t reachable, where are you? I’m in hospital, in Dallas….. don’t panic, I’m fine, just ring me, please!
Love you
Luke
X
“Oh my god….Luke.” Reid looked at the date on the text, three days ago, after Luke had been told about the death of his parents “Please tell me you remember what happened to your parents?”
Luke clenched his fists tight “I know you are pissed at me Doctor Oliver, for making you, no…I take that back, I didn’t make you…..you’re pissed at me for the fact that you feel something towards me, like it’s my fault, but don’t make fun of me because of it.”
“I’m not Luke….I’m….”
Luke interrupted “Then why would you even ask me that? Why would you? You know my parents are dead….I don’t understand, why are you doing this?”
“Because of this” Reid replied, handing the phone back to Luke, the message still showing brightly on the display and Reid watched as Luke read the message.
“Wha……I didn’t type that.” Luke looked up at Reid, his eyes now full of water, tears streaming readily down his face, “I didn’t, I swear, you must believe me, I didn’t write that, I know they’re dead, we spoke about it just this morning…......”
“Luke, I just heard you say it, I heard you ask yourself why she hasn't replied to your text and then instantly I saw the look on your face, that you didn’t know where you’d been, like you’d blacked out for a few seconds.”
“I don’t understand…..what does this mean?”
“It means two things Luke” Reid consciously called him Luke and not Mr Snyder, he didn’t deserve the Mr Snyder, he knew that now “Firstly it means that there’s been more damage to your brain then I originally concluded, which unfortunately for me also means that secondly……….. I’ve failed to do my job" Reid sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I promised myself when I graduated that I would always do my job to the best of my abilities, but not this time, with you I’ve failed, because I let other factors get in the way, I shouldn’t have done that……” Reid was shaking his head furiously, so angry with himself.
Luke reached his hand forward and laid it to rest above Reid’s “You haven’t failed Doctor Oliver, just tell me how I get through this……I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Reid shook his head “Obviously I can’t state it as a fact without some initial scans, but I fear Luke that there’ll be nothing we can do" Reid saw Luke's face fall, he quickly added "....but let’s get the scans done first before……..”
"Are you saying that you'll continue to be my doctor?" Luke asked, just about managing to raise a very small smile.
"Of course! Like you said Luke, I'm the best.............."Reid said, sounding sure of himself and then much much softer he added "you need the best!" he kept his eyes down, at the bedsheets, not making eye contact with Luke.
“Reid” Luke spoke, returning the softness in his voice now, his hand still on Reid’s he stroked his thumb across his overturned palm lightly “If you feel anything for me at all, tell me the worst………tell me how bad it could be!”
Reid now made eye contact and smiled at Luke, whose face still had tears readily falling down it, it was whilst looking at Luke in this state that Reid considered for a moment the possibility that resistance was useless, he was irrevocably drawn to him, whether he liked it or not, the question was whether Reid’s will power would win out.
“Worst case……” Reid stated, pulling his hand from underneath Luke’s and scratching his head, his willpower was holding out, for now….”Your brain won’t be able to process new memories, you’ll forget them moments after they’ve been created, you’ll forget …”
Reid stopped; there was a knock at the door.
“GO AWAY!” Reid shouted, but as he turned to the door he saw Kyle’s face appear in the window next to it, Reid shook his head and waved Kyle into the room, as his head peeped through the door Reid asked in his most annoyed tone “What?”
“Err…..I’m sorry but this is important” Kyle responded stepping into the room.
“Oh! That’s good Kyle, because this isn’t” Reid stated, pointing between him and Luke.
“We’ve got CCTV footage of your attack Luke.” Kyle said softly, looking at Luke and ignoring Reid’s comment completely “Do you think you’d be OK to take a look at it?”
Luke didn’t speak for a moment; he was receiving too much information in such a short space of time, Reid’s revelation had left him dumfounded and now this……the possibility of seeing the faces of the men who’d done this to him. Reid had been the bearer of news of the outcome and now Kyle bringing him news of the cause, how he’d gotten into this state and would it help? Would it change things? No, but did he want to see that tape……Luke new the answer to that……
“Yes”