Chaos.
So I'm no longer unemployed, and that's great, unfortunately it was a "scraping the bottom of the barrel" situation as I'm back in the security biz, which I FUCKIN DESPISE. But what can you do? I was out of work for almost three months. On a personal level is where this blog's title comes from. I got together with this girl named Melissa who I used to work with at the Irish Mist. Things were going strong, I thought that maybe I found someone that could share my tiny, minute life with. I'm starting to have second thoughts. She's been distant with me lately, we've been intamate only four times since we've together (3 months) and I feel extremely awkward around her, like she's a stranger that I'm shy around. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to call it quits, because I've invested so much into this relationship. I feel sick inside. My depression is on overdrive, and the booze isn't as helpful as it used to be. I just feel like the relationship is one sided, like she doesn't care for me anymore, but she doesn't want to deal with the recoil of the break-up. Fuck, i don't want to type anymore