Chapter I
I hate school but am dealing. I've started writing....
The rain trickles down the dirty window echoed by the night wind. I stare blankly into the moonlight. I feel in my bones I am not as others are, yet I can not harness what is within. I can not uncover the mystery. So much hatred, so much pain hidden inside and clouded by smiles and kindness. Do unto others what you want done unto you repeats in my mind. I am kind, loyal and even loving. But what is love in this darkened heart? Have I known love?
My eyes glow of fire and embers, pain through the years and anger bottled away. Fear that I will endanger those close to me, perhaps that is what is preventing me from seeing my true self. Born out of wedlock with a childhood shattered with perverseness and violence I am not surprised I seek solitude.
The moon calls me, yet I can not answer. I am only stuck in a trance. The night is my comfort yet I still fear the unknown. Such human emotions. Looking away from the window I sigh. The term to describe me would be Emo, that I may be. But I harness my demise and darkness, unable to let it go and forgive myself. I have done so much in the past, still trying to repent in the future. What has it brought me though? Unanswered questions and a plague of confusion.
My only comfort is the angel lying still under the red silk sheets. I watch as she breathes. We are kindred spirits. She radiant with beauty, eyes like the ocean and hair as dark as the night sky. Her carmel skin unblemished. I don't deserve her, yet she remains. Convinced we are soul mates. I don't believe in such things, but I agree nonetheless, how else do we have so much in common and think alike. Never have I thought I'd be in a relationship. I so dark and morbid. I suppose the sunny disposition I let the world see displaces that.
"Garren..."
"Yes."
She looks at me with such innocence, she doesn't know what I feel. I'm living a lie, yet I can not go. Maybe our souls are bound. I don't know how much longer I can bare the pain.
"It's nearly three in the morning, what are you doing up?"
"I can't sleep."
That's a lie, the night is young and my comfort. I bask in the twilight of stars and enjoy the sounds of suburbia. I hate sleeping in the night, only the day. I walk towards the massive bed and pull the blanket over her, placing a kiss on her forehead.
"Sleep Adia, no worries about me."
As if in a trance, she obeys shutting her droopy eyes. My name is Garren, I was born to an aristocrat and a whore in Ireland, that much I knew. I was abandoned at an early age and left at the door step of strangers. My father cared enough to tuck away a note explaining where I can access funds in my later years. Though I was left with money I had no desire to keep his name or stay in the same country. I fled to the states and embarked on a military career to satiate my violent needs. There I met Adia the Colonel's daughter.
The rain trickles down the dirty window echoed by the night wind. I stare blankly into the moonlight. I feel in my bones I am not as others are, yet I can not harness what is within. I can not uncover the mystery. So much hatred, so much pain hidden inside and clouded by smiles and kindness. Do unto others what you want done unto you repeats in my mind. I am kind, loyal and even loving. But what is love in this darkened heart? Have I known love?
My eyes glow of fire and embers, pain through the years and anger bottled away. Fear that I will endanger those close to me, perhaps that is what is preventing me from seeing my true self. Born out of wedlock with a childhood shattered with perverseness and violence I am not surprised I seek solitude.
The moon calls me, yet I can not answer. I am only stuck in a trance. The night is my comfort yet I still fear the unknown. Such human emotions. Looking away from the window I sigh. The term to describe me would be Emo, that I may be. But I harness my demise and darkness, unable to let it go and forgive myself. I have done so much in the past, still trying to repent in the future. What has it brought me though? Unanswered questions and a plague of confusion.
My only comfort is the angel lying still under the red silk sheets. I watch as she breathes. We are kindred spirits. She radiant with beauty, eyes like the ocean and hair as dark as the night sky. Her carmel skin unblemished. I don't deserve her, yet she remains. Convinced we are soul mates. I don't believe in such things, but I agree nonetheless, how else do we have so much in common and think alike. Never have I thought I'd be in a relationship. I so dark and morbid. I suppose the sunny disposition I let the world see displaces that.
"Garren..."
"Yes."
She looks at me with such innocence, she doesn't know what I feel. I'm living a lie, yet I can not go. Maybe our souls are bound. I don't know how much longer I can bare the pain.
"It's nearly three in the morning, what are you doing up?"
"I can't sleep."
That's a lie, the night is young and my comfort. I bask in the twilight of stars and enjoy the sounds of suburbia. I hate sleeping in the night, only the day. I walk towards the massive bed and pull the blanket over her, placing a kiss on her forehead.
"Sleep Adia, no worries about me."
As if in a trance, she obeys shutting her droopy eyes. My name is Garren, I was born to an aristocrat and a whore in Ireland, that much I knew. I was abandoned at an early age and left at the door step of strangers. My father cared enough to tuck away a note explaining where I can access funds in my later years. Though I was left with money I had no desire to keep his name or stay in the same country. I fled to the states and embarked on a military career to satiate my violent needs. There I met Adia the Colonel's daughter.