Of Birds and Men (beware the hyperbole)
Today for lunch I had decided that it would be nice to go out and sit out in the shade at Hyde Park (also helped that we happened to be right near there). It was a simple lunch, sandwich, an apple and a drink, nothing special just sitting under a tree, hanging out, enjoying the fresh air and good bite to eat. Then I spotted it. A big fat pigeon slowly stalking its way towards where I was sitting. It slowly waddled its way closer and closer, hoping that it had avoided being spotted, and when it finally realized that it would not be able to sneak up and grab a piece of the sandwich it began to sulk away. Feeling kind of bad for the bird (not really sure why, perhaps strangely manipulated foreign values) I broke off a piece of my apple and tossed it the lone animal who was wandering about 15 feet away. Thinking that I had done a kind deed and provided a healthy lunch for this animal I went about my business with my half finished lunch in front of me. That's when it happened. Without having made a sound, or gone anywhere, more birds began to appear out of nowhere. Flying in from trees unknown and there distant perches they swarmed about this chunk of broken off apple that had been only destined for the one lone bird who had acknowledged our presence at the park. The flock quickly became unsettled at the realization that there was only a tiny bit of food for their masses and quickly began to march over in our direction and what was left of our lunches. They moved with suprising pace and were almost ontop of us within a very short time after arriving. Being surrounded by these hungry rats with wings, and disappointed in the apple I was eating, I threw it a couple trees down to stave off this assault. The birds quickly thinking they had achieved their goal of attaining a great, tasty food source flew over to the spot where the apple had come to a rest. But their victorious attitudes were soon dashed apparently as they were quite displeased with their triumph. The flock disappated back into the unknown as they did not apparently want an apple, which lay untouched by a birds beak on the ground. After we had finished eating I walked over to the apple, picked it up and hurled it at another tree where a crow was residing. This gracious bird took the gift with great pleasure and was devouring it as we left the park to continue on our travels to see the sites of London. So in conclusion, fuck pigeons, they're ungrateful, rat with wings bastards who apparently don't take kindly on gifts of food they had seemingly desired. And when possible, help a crow, they seem to be nice and appreciative birds.