Overchay with Me- Chapter Five
Chapter One: Life in My Closet
Chapter Two: Let's Go, Just You and Me
Chapter Three: Pretend You Never Even Knew Me
Chapter Four: Guilt from the Necks You Bite Into
Chapter Five: You Can See the Darkest Side of Me
-October-
James slid out of the window, carefully, carefully, putting one toe out on the ground; testing the waters, if you will. Granted, the window was large enough for an-almost-seventeen-year-old boy to crawl out of, but it was only being held open by James's wand, and his mind really wasn't on the spell he'd just cast; it was on making sure he didn't get caught leaving the ball. So, to be honest, he was expecting a testicle-crushing accident to befall him any moment now.
Finally, both of James's feet hit the ground. “Whew!” he exclaimed, sliding out of the way of the window pane just in time to hear it crash down. “Ha!” He laughed, smug. He adjusted the thick piece of cloth in his right arm and hastily tried to grab it before it hit the ground. He'd made it scot-free. No one had even noticed that he'd left. (The category of “No One” included McGonagall, who could take points away, and Sirius, who could give him hell.)
He'd beaten the system again.
“Oy, James!”
Daaaaammmnnn...
James quickly ordered himself to act cool.
“Yes, Sirius?”
Sirius stood at the top of a nearby staircase and was staring down at his bespectacled friend with a raised eyebrow. James noticed then, not for the first time, that the dress robes that looked practically silly on him appeared devilishly handsome on his best friend. Lucky bastard.
“What are you doing?” Sirius continued, oblivious to James's inner envy.
“Errr...just taking a stroll.”
“Is that why you have your cloak with you?”
James looked at the bundle in his arm.
“Well, you know, sometimes you just like to be invisible.” He smiled a nice little smile to Sirius's utterly prattish face. He flung his cloak over him to demonstrate. “See! Being so invisible is so wondrous.”
“Hmmm...” Sirius said. James quickly used his wand to freeze his voice to where he stood and began to walk off. He could hear himself in the background, rattling on about something. Chocolate Frog Cards, he thought. Funny.
James walked up the stairs, past his friend, holding his breath and praying that Sirius’s attention was elsewhere, like on his automatic voice, and was halfway out onto the grounds when he became thoroughly confused. He'd expected his thrown voice to throw Sirius off- Not fool him completely. He turned back around to the castle and saw Sirius staring at him, laughing so hard he was wiping tears from his eyes.
“What's so funny!” he called, and then looked down at himself. Oh.
“I stepped your cloak off you when you walked by. Do you think I'm dense? I was throwing my voice when I was in diapers! You going out to the lake, then?”
James shook his head. “No, I'm not.”
“Liar. Here.” Sirius ran down to his friend, and held his cloak out to him. “I'm coming with you.”
“But, I---I made you promise----You swore----!”
“That I wouldn't let you spy on Lily anymore?”
“Well---yes, pretty much. And when I made you swear that, when I made you cross your heart, we both knew you wouldn't hold to it, but I'd at least think you'd put up more of a fight. Make me miserable for breaking, at least.”
“Do I not make you miserable enough as it is, Jamesy? Oh, come on, I'm bored.” He tugged his friend's arm. James flinched at the contact but both boys pretended to not notice. “The Halloween Ball's killing me. All those beautiful girls throwing themselves at me. It's horrid.”
“Don't pretend you don't relish the attention, Sirius, it doesn't suit you.”
“I'm not pretending anything, Jimbo. I love being the center of attention. I loved it when McGonagall made the 'Behave Yourself, Kiddos Speech,’ which we all know means 'Don't Fuck Anyone,' and then sent me that look that made the whole Hall crack up. I'm not pretending to be something I'm not. I just hated Remus's face every time I danced with another pretty girl, heartbroken little guy.”
“Hey! I thought you two were under strict orders not to mention anything even remotely YouandRemusy. Somehow he's succeeding while you manage to be failing miserably.”
“Ah, I just love making you squirm.” Sirius pretended to punch James in the gut, but James went on, undistracted.
“Why didn't you go and talk to Moony? Or why didn't you leave the Halloween Ball ages ago when he did and go up to the dorm, and, eww, snog him or whatever it is you two do that I don't want to know about?” Sirius shrugged and James pushed with a “Hmmm?”
“I dunno.” Sirius shrugged again. “I guess I just didn't feel like it.”
“You didn't feel like it!” James threw his hands up into the air in exasperation. “The guy says he didn't feel like it! You, Padfoot,” James pointed a finger at him, “are an awful whatever-you-are to Remus.”
“I am not an awful whatever-I-am to Remus!” Sirius put his hands on his hips, indignant and affronted. “And what about you!”
“What about me?”
“Your feelings for Lily are so---I dunno! You're obsessed with her, you really are. It's unhealthy, really. The girl's never even spoken to you, and, to be frank, isn't even that great. She's really rude, as a matter of fact. But everything she does is majestic to you, and I just don't get it! I mean, you don't take a date to the dance because of her, the only girls you've ever snogged you only snogged just to make her jealous. I mean, you leave your dance, a time you should be having fun, to follow her and her date out on their stroll to The Lake!”
“Well!” James yelled. “At least I snog girls!” He then stalked off, towards The Lake, eventually disappearing under his cloak, without saying another word or waiting for Sirius's rebuttal.
“I resent that, buddy! It was a low blow, and you know it!” Sirius yelled in frustration, knowing that the chances of James hearing him were slim and the chances of him getting a response in return were even slimmer.
“Trouble in paradise, Black?” an icy voice asked.
Sirius, caught off guard, turned around.
“Snivellus,” he growled.
The pale, thin boy raised his eyebrows at Sirius’s nickname and sneered, pushing a lock of greasy black hair behind his ear before continuing. “What? Not having enough fun whoring yourself inside, Black? And poor Potter, even that mudblood Evans sees what an utter idiot he is.”
“I'm not in the mood, Snivellus,” Sirius growled.
“Not in the mood for what?” Snape reached into the pocket of his pitch-black dress robes very quickly for his wand, Sirius assumed, but Sirius was too fast for him. Muttering something inaudibly, Sirius raised his wand and the resulting blue explosion caused the small boy to fly off in the opposite direction. Sirius chuckled and then set off to find James.
As he got closer, he thought he saw the outline of Lily and her date sitting down at the edge of The Lake, and he craned his neck to confirm, but not get to before being yanked to ground behind a rock. “Get down,” said the thin air.
“Oh, James, you're not too mad at me,” Sirius loudly whispered. “Good. Let me tell you- I just ran into Snivellus, and I think I threw on top of the Astronomy Tower or something! It was brilliant, you should’ve been---” An invisible hand placed itself over Sirius's mouth.
“Just shut up.” James removed his hand.
“Okay, okay. Whatsamatter?” Sirius rubbed his mouth as if it hurt, though it didn't.
“Lily's crying.”
“Really? The robot? Interesting. Is Darren there to comfort her?”
“She's not with her date, you moron. I think that's why she's crying. I can't tell.”
“Well, who's that bloke with her?”
“Remus.”
“Moony? My Moony, comforting your bird?”
“Somehow,” the disembodied voice said, “I think they'd both raise protest to being defined as belonging to someone else.”
“Maybe your bird.” Sirius stuck out his chest. “But not my Moony.”
“Anyway.” James chuckled, and Sirius thanked the stars that his best friend was incapable of anger for too extended of a time. “Let's listen in, okay?”
“Okay.”
Both boys leaned forward (well, at least Sirius assumed James did), and James pulled out his wand and held it in front of them. “You think I can cast an Eavesdropping Charm without them noticing?”
“You haven't mastered that wandless magic, yet, Potter? Really? I'm disappointed.”
“Oh, shut it. Should I? Could I get away with it?”
Sirius shrugged.
“Your way with words has always impressed me, old buddy,” James joked, but said the spell anyway. After both boys realized that Remus and Lily remained unaware of their presence, they silently cheered.
“Oh, Remus,” Lily said, wiping her nose between words. James unnecessarily shhhhed Sirius. “You're the most amazing boy in the whole world.”
“Oh, Lily. Any boy here with you would get that label. Even if it was Filch. Even if it was James.”
“Well.” Lily chuckled and nudged Remus in the shoulder playfully. Sirius gulped and looked over at his translucent best friend, suddenly remembering that Lily's feeling for Moony weren't completely platonic. “Maybe Filch. Why, I'd much rather be here with Filch than that---that other one you mentioned.”
“Hey!” James whispered.
“Maybe we should go.” Sirius pulled on what he assumed was James's arm.
“Padfoot, let go!” James shook him off.
“Oh, Remus. You're so smart and funny and---great. You're just great.”
“Why, thank you, Lily. I think you're rather---”
Lily cut off Remus by throwing herself at him, and meeting him in a rather sloppy, Sirius thought, kiss.
“What the hell!” James shrieked. Sirius could feel James stand up next to him and reached out to grab him but ended up falling on his face.
“James!” Sirius hissed, but it was too late. He watched as his friend’s footsteps faded off onto the grounds.
“What was that?” Lily tore herself apart from Remus and looked over in Sirius’s direction.
“I err--- I should go now, Lily.” Remus stood. Lily clutched onto his the front of his robes.
“Please don't, Remus.”
Ugh. Sirius was torn between wanting to go and check and see if James was all right (it appeared/sounded like he'd headed to the Shrieking Shack) and wanting to jump up and punch Lily into a bloody pulp; the excuse that she was a girl wouldn't even help her, he was so mad.
Stupid whore, Sirius thought Lily's way before sneaking off, back to the castle and to his dorm. Remus arrived not too long after him.
“Oh!” he said, walking in. “You're here, Sirius.”
“Yes, Moony. I'm here.” Sirius crossed his legs from his spot on his bed and stared down Remus, trying to look as intimidating as possible.
“Get tired of flirting with all those pretty girls?” Remus joked, plopping down on his own four-poster.
“I don't know. Get tired of snogging Lily?”
Remus gaped at Sirius.
“What---what did you say?”
“Oh, don't play coy, you jerk. James and I both saw you. James is off sulking right now. He'll kick your arse when he's in the right state, though, trust me.”
Remus stood up, still looking slightly shocked, but not embarrassed, as Sirius had first suspected he would.
“Where's Peter?” he asked, walking to the door and turning towards it.
“Peter!” Sirius exclaimed. “How can you care about Peter at a time like this! I'm chastising you, you know. He's out with Celia, I think,” Sirius answered anyway.
Remus locked the door to the dormitory.
“What are you doing that for?” Sirius asked. Remus whirled around and seemed infuriated. It was a weird look, one that Sirius had never seen, and it practically made him cringe.
“Privacy,” he growled. “I watched you, all night may I remind you, Sirius, with other girls. I saw you kiss a couple of them.” He pulled out his wand and ran it between his fingers. Sirius was tempted to say 'So?' but restrained himself.
“And you think,” he glared at Sirius, “that that didn't bother me.”
“No! Weeellllllluh----- I was looking at you and making funny faces all night! You knew I'd rather be with you!”
Remus smiled then, mean facade vanishing, and sat down on Sirius's bed.
“Well, then tell me that. Don't be all stupid and stuff. Be compassionate or something.”
“'And stuff.' 'Or something.' Your vernacular's at its peak, Moony, lemme tell you.”
“You ruined my Halloween Ball, Padfoot. Just tell me you like me and that I'm your wonderful whatever and you're sorry for being an inconsiderate git, for Christ's sake.”
Sirius chuckled. “I love you, Remus; you know that.” He leaned in to kiss him then and just stopped when he noticed the odd way Remus's face had contorted itself.
“You mean that?”
“Mean what?”
“What you just said?”
“What did I just say?”
“You said you loved me.”
“Oh. Did I? I guess I did. I love you.”
“Woah!” Remus stood up and towered over Sirius on his bed. “I just wanted you to say that you wanted this to be a serious thing. It's been driving me mad, how you told all the girls that you're engaged, and how you were still going on with that con today, at the ball, you were still throwing that story around, and then you hold my hand and stuff, but you've never cheated on me, I don't think, I just wanted you to confirm this, us, I was just teasing about you being jealous of me and Lily, which was totally innocent, by the way, which I'm assuming you know if you really saw, and then you were with all those girls and you were being a hypocrite and I was just gonna tickle you or something and you said love.”
“You're still using vague terminology.” Sirius stood and put his hand on Remus's forehead. “And run-on sentences. It's horrific. You sure you're fine?”
“I love you, too, Sirius. I've never been more sure of anything, ever. Ever. I love you, too.”
Sirius looked at his friend's eager face, confused as to the feeling in his stomach. It was like he felt sick and high at the same time. He felt like if he didn't do something, anything, and soon, he'd explode. If Remus was feeling this way, no wonder he was using run-on sentences.
He kissed Remus, quickly and passionately, and felt like it was their best kiss ever, even though his brain was partially distracted by how close Remus's nose was to stabbing him in the eye.
“This is---I love you, Sirius.”
“I love you, too, Remus.”
The boys kissed again, harder, and Sirius said against Remus's lips as he was prone to, “You like this better than Lily?”
“I dunno, you like feeling this better than cupping Frannie's breasts?” Remus grabbed Sirius's hand and put it on his crotch. Sirius pulled it back like it burned.
“When the hell did you become so forward?” He repeated his mantra; he felt like he had said that sentence to Remus again and again these last few weeks. Remus had taken to grabbing him in the most awkward places and throwing him against the wall for a quick kiss if no one was around. It terrified him that he had lost the control in their relationship, but he also liked the way Remus had opened up around him. He liked it a hell of a lot, actually.
He was suddenly feeling very nervous and very excited. He knew he should be almost ripping Moony's clothes off of him, but at the same time, he was also very scared and almost wished Moony would just stop and go back to his bed. Almost.
“Sit down,” Remus ordered him, pointing to his bed. Sirius obliged. “We---you wanna do something?”
“Something with our boy parts, you mean?”
Remus laughed. “Well-err, yeah.”
“I dunno how it all works,” Sirius admitted, and for him to admit to not knowing something was no small deal. “I mean, I understand the basic mechanics, but I've never read up on boys doing things, and---”
“I think we'll figure it out.” Remus nodded, though his eyes were planted firmly on Sirius's boots. “I dunno what to do either, but I thought it was just something you got, understood, in the spur of the moment.”
“Well, we're pretty 'spur' right now.”
“True. We should get undressed,” Remus decided aloud, and Sirius nodded. Sirius quickly unbuttoned his top and slipped out of his shoes and robe bottoms next, until he was just sitting on his bed clad in boxers.
“Damn it!” Remus stood up; he was having a bit more trouble getting undone.
“Here, let me,” Sirius said, reaching out to unbutton Remus's pants as Remus took off his own, very frilly, shirt. Sirius's hands were shaking, and it did not go unnoticed by Remus.
“You're so nervous.”
“I know.” Sirius laughed.
“Are you---Are you really scared?”
“I-I guess so. I'm just...I care about you so goddamn much, Moony.”
Remus sighed.
“This is it. This is what I want forever.” Remus grabbed Sirius's still shivering hands and kissed them both tenderly.
“Forever, eh?” Sirius chuckled, though his voice still held a nervous twinge to it. “That's kind of girly.”
“You're kind of girly,” Remus said before gently throwing himself onto Sirius, so they both were lying down. The boys kissed, and, Sirius decided, maybe all kisses after telling someone you love them are amazing because this one was just as good as the best one they'd previously had.
He was well-aware of his erection, and of Remus's, and this was a new feeling all together. He remembered that time, when he'd been with Diane, and she'd taken off her blouse and then pulled himself into her, and then, suddenly, he was imagining Remus, and then he'd been thrusting, harder and harder, all for Remus.
He started to thrust this time, and he heard Remus moan, and it was the most beautiful sound ever.
“You don't want to penetrate or anything?” Remus asked. What an unromantic and almost clinical sentence, Sirius thought, but yet, somehow, in the moment, shit could have come out of Remus’s mouth and he would have delighted in it, he was fairly sure.
“That sounds kind of painful.” Sirius was surprised he could speak at all, but Remus laughed so he must've.
“Yes, it does.”
Sirius was about to say something else, it was much easier to speak now that Remus was busy kissing his neck, but lost all thought when he felt Remus's hand grab him.
“Ohhh----” he said, or something to that effect.
“Is it okay if I do that?” Remus asked.
“I'd kill you if you stop.” Sirius closed his eyes and started thrusting harder, this time aware that it was Remus's hand touching him there.
Oh, God.
Then the hand was gone, and Sirius was aware that it was Remus there, with his there, rubbing against him there, and their boxers were gone. Remus must've peeled them away with his free hand, the sneaky fucker.
“I guess we could-do this---” Remus grunted.
“If you'd like.”
“Moro---oh! Ugh!”
Sirius was fairly sure Remus was about to call him a moron, but didn't quite make it. He would've teased him at that juncture, but wasn't sure that Remus would decipher “Oh, sweet GOD!” to mean, “Ha ha, I'm making you come.”
He instead settled for wrapping his arms around Remus's frail, pale form, the form he'd seen so many times, admired so many times, as the boy on top of him was rubbing against him, and decided that it was the most beautiful body ever and anyone who thought otherwise was blind. He kissed Remus's shoulder but was met with, “God, Sirius, I'm coming!”
“Then---do it! Ugh!”
Sirius came first, and then Remus did, though he continued rubbing slowly, breathing heavily into Sirius's ear. He nibbled it quickly before dropping to Sirius's side and laughing. “Our boxers are around our ankles,” Remus said, laughing and looking deliciously sweaty.
“We just---God! I can't believe we just did that!” Sirius rubbed his hair back from his sweat-soaked forehead. “What if James walked in? He could've just alohomorad and our arses would be out of this dorm!”
“He wouldn't come in.” Remus waved him off, yawning. “He's so afraid of us, if he wiggled the handle and it wouldn't open, he'd sleep out on the common couch. Homphobia that comes in handy. Besides, it was only ten minutes or so.”
“Why the hell did you do that?” Sirius asked, still not having his breath quite caught, as he tried to pull his boxers back up. “I was a jerk all night.”
“You weren't a jerk all night. Well, okay, you were. But, in fact, it was turning me on, watching you with all those girls, if that makes sense.”
“It doesn't.”
He felt Remus shrug.
“I can't elaborate- Sorry, Padfoot. Can I crash in your bed?” He yawned again. Sirius waved his curtains shut.
“You'd better.”
As the two cuddled together, Sirius broke into a smile. “I'm really in love with you. That's what this is. That's what people go on and on about- This. I'm in love with you.”
“You should know that now that I've gotten into your pants, I will leave you,” Remus joked without opening his eyes. He leaned over and kissed Sirius on the shoulder, mirroring what Sirius had done while they'd been together, and then kissed him on the lips. “I love you, too.”
---
“What are you doing out here, James?” Peter asked as he came into the common room, back from a post-ball snogging session with Celia, unable to contain the smile on his face. It had been a very good date indeed.
“Well, I'm making you room,” James said, pulling his legs back, “since I really don't think you want to go into our room right now.”
“Eww,” was all Peter said as he slipped down next to his friend.
---
Sequel to my Waiting a Long Time Quadrilogy
Chapter Two: Let's Go, Just You and Me
Chapter Three: Pretend You Never Even Knew Me
Chapter Four: Guilt from the Necks You Bite Into
Chapter Five: You Can See the Darkest Side of Me
-October-
James slid out of the window, carefully, carefully, putting one toe out on the ground; testing the waters, if you will. Granted, the window was large enough for an-almost-seventeen-year-old boy to crawl out of, but it was only being held open by James's wand, and his mind really wasn't on the spell he'd just cast; it was on making sure he didn't get caught leaving the ball. So, to be honest, he was expecting a testicle-crushing accident to befall him any moment now.
Finally, both of James's feet hit the ground. “Whew!” he exclaimed, sliding out of the way of the window pane just in time to hear it crash down. “Ha!” He laughed, smug. He adjusted the thick piece of cloth in his right arm and hastily tried to grab it before it hit the ground. He'd made it scot-free. No one had even noticed that he'd left. (The category of “No One” included McGonagall, who could take points away, and Sirius, who could give him hell.)
He'd beaten the system again.
“Oy, James!”
Daaaaammmnnn...
James quickly ordered himself to act cool.
“Yes, Sirius?”
Sirius stood at the top of a nearby staircase and was staring down at his bespectacled friend with a raised eyebrow. James noticed then, not for the first time, that the dress robes that looked practically silly on him appeared devilishly handsome on his best friend. Lucky bastard.
“What are you doing?” Sirius continued, oblivious to James's inner envy.
“Errr...just taking a stroll.”
“Is that why you have your cloak with you?”
James looked at the bundle in his arm.
“Well, you know, sometimes you just like to be invisible.” He smiled a nice little smile to Sirius's utterly prattish face. He flung his cloak over him to demonstrate. “See! Being so invisible is so wondrous.”
“Hmmm...” Sirius said. James quickly used his wand to freeze his voice to where he stood and began to walk off. He could hear himself in the background, rattling on about something. Chocolate Frog Cards, he thought. Funny.
James walked up the stairs, past his friend, holding his breath and praying that Sirius’s attention was elsewhere, like on his automatic voice, and was halfway out onto the grounds when he became thoroughly confused. He'd expected his thrown voice to throw Sirius off- Not fool him completely. He turned back around to the castle and saw Sirius staring at him, laughing so hard he was wiping tears from his eyes.
“What's so funny!” he called, and then looked down at himself. Oh.
“I stepped your cloak off you when you walked by. Do you think I'm dense? I was throwing my voice when I was in diapers! You going out to the lake, then?”
James shook his head. “No, I'm not.”
“Liar. Here.” Sirius ran down to his friend, and held his cloak out to him. “I'm coming with you.”
“But, I---I made you promise----You swore----!”
“That I wouldn't let you spy on Lily anymore?”
“Well---yes, pretty much. And when I made you swear that, when I made you cross your heart, we both knew you wouldn't hold to it, but I'd at least think you'd put up more of a fight. Make me miserable for breaking, at least.”
“Do I not make you miserable enough as it is, Jamesy? Oh, come on, I'm bored.” He tugged his friend's arm. James flinched at the contact but both boys pretended to not notice. “The Halloween Ball's killing me. All those beautiful girls throwing themselves at me. It's horrid.”
“Don't pretend you don't relish the attention, Sirius, it doesn't suit you.”
“I'm not pretending anything, Jimbo. I love being the center of attention. I loved it when McGonagall made the 'Behave Yourself, Kiddos Speech,’ which we all know means 'Don't Fuck Anyone,' and then sent me that look that made the whole Hall crack up. I'm not pretending to be something I'm not. I just hated Remus's face every time I danced with another pretty girl, heartbroken little guy.”
“Hey! I thought you two were under strict orders not to mention anything even remotely YouandRemusy. Somehow he's succeeding while you manage to be failing miserably.”
“Ah, I just love making you squirm.” Sirius pretended to punch James in the gut, but James went on, undistracted.
“Why didn't you go and talk to Moony? Or why didn't you leave the Halloween Ball ages ago when he did and go up to the dorm, and, eww, snog him or whatever it is you two do that I don't want to know about?” Sirius shrugged and James pushed with a “Hmmm?”
“I dunno.” Sirius shrugged again. “I guess I just didn't feel like it.”
“You didn't feel like it!” James threw his hands up into the air in exasperation. “The guy says he didn't feel like it! You, Padfoot,” James pointed a finger at him, “are an awful whatever-you-are to Remus.”
“I am not an awful whatever-I-am to Remus!” Sirius put his hands on his hips, indignant and affronted. “And what about you!”
“What about me?”
“Your feelings for Lily are so---I dunno! You're obsessed with her, you really are. It's unhealthy, really. The girl's never even spoken to you, and, to be frank, isn't even that great. She's really rude, as a matter of fact. But everything she does is majestic to you, and I just don't get it! I mean, you don't take a date to the dance because of her, the only girls you've ever snogged you only snogged just to make her jealous. I mean, you leave your dance, a time you should be having fun, to follow her and her date out on their stroll to The Lake!”
“Well!” James yelled. “At least I snog girls!” He then stalked off, towards The Lake, eventually disappearing under his cloak, without saying another word or waiting for Sirius's rebuttal.
“I resent that, buddy! It was a low blow, and you know it!” Sirius yelled in frustration, knowing that the chances of James hearing him were slim and the chances of him getting a response in return were even slimmer.
“Trouble in paradise, Black?” an icy voice asked.
Sirius, caught off guard, turned around.
“Snivellus,” he growled.
The pale, thin boy raised his eyebrows at Sirius’s nickname and sneered, pushing a lock of greasy black hair behind his ear before continuing. “What? Not having enough fun whoring yourself inside, Black? And poor Potter, even that mudblood Evans sees what an utter idiot he is.”
“I'm not in the mood, Snivellus,” Sirius growled.
“Not in the mood for what?” Snape reached into the pocket of his pitch-black dress robes very quickly for his wand, Sirius assumed, but Sirius was too fast for him. Muttering something inaudibly, Sirius raised his wand and the resulting blue explosion caused the small boy to fly off in the opposite direction. Sirius chuckled and then set off to find James.
As he got closer, he thought he saw the outline of Lily and her date sitting down at the edge of The Lake, and he craned his neck to confirm, but not get to before being yanked to ground behind a rock. “Get down,” said the thin air.
“Oh, James, you're not too mad at me,” Sirius loudly whispered. “Good. Let me tell you- I just ran into Snivellus, and I think I threw on top of the Astronomy Tower or something! It was brilliant, you should’ve been---” An invisible hand placed itself over Sirius's mouth.
“Just shut up.” James removed his hand.
“Okay, okay. Whatsamatter?” Sirius rubbed his mouth as if it hurt, though it didn't.
“Lily's crying.”
“Really? The robot? Interesting. Is Darren there to comfort her?”
“She's not with her date, you moron. I think that's why she's crying. I can't tell.”
“Well, who's that bloke with her?”
“Remus.”
“Moony? My Moony, comforting your bird?”
“Somehow,” the disembodied voice said, “I think they'd both raise protest to being defined as belonging to someone else.”
“Maybe your bird.” Sirius stuck out his chest. “But not my Moony.”
“Anyway.” James chuckled, and Sirius thanked the stars that his best friend was incapable of anger for too extended of a time. “Let's listen in, okay?”
“Okay.”
Both boys leaned forward (well, at least Sirius assumed James did), and James pulled out his wand and held it in front of them. “You think I can cast an Eavesdropping Charm without them noticing?”
“You haven't mastered that wandless magic, yet, Potter? Really? I'm disappointed.”
“Oh, shut it. Should I? Could I get away with it?”
Sirius shrugged.
“Your way with words has always impressed me, old buddy,” James joked, but said the spell anyway. After both boys realized that Remus and Lily remained unaware of their presence, they silently cheered.
“Oh, Remus,” Lily said, wiping her nose between words. James unnecessarily shhhhed Sirius. “You're the most amazing boy in the whole world.”
“Oh, Lily. Any boy here with you would get that label. Even if it was Filch. Even if it was James.”
“Well.” Lily chuckled and nudged Remus in the shoulder playfully. Sirius gulped and looked over at his translucent best friend, suddenly remembering that Lily's feeling for Moony weren't completely platonic. “Maybe Filch. Why, I'd much rather be here with Filch than that---that other one you mentioned.”
“Hey!” James whispered.
“Maybe we should go.” Sirius pulled on what he assumed was James's arm.
“Padfoot, let go!” James shook him off.
“Oh, Remus. You're so smart and funny and---great. You're just great.”
“Why, thank you, Lily. I think you're rather---”
Lily cut off Remus by throwing herself at him, and meeting him in a rather sloppy, Sirius thought, kiss.
“What the hell!” James shrieked. Sirius could feel James stand up next to him and reached out to grab him but ended up falling on his face.
“James!” Sirius hissed, but it was too late. He watched as his friend’s footsteps faded off onto the grounds.
“What was that?” Lily tore herself apart from Remus and looked over in Sirius’s direction.
“I err--- I should go now, Lily.” Remus stood. Lily clutched onto his the front of his robes.
“Please don't, Remus.”
Ugh. Sirius was torn between wanting to go and check and see if James was all right (it appeared/sounded like he'd headed to the Shrieking Shack) and wanting to jump up and punch Lily into a bloody pulp; the excuse that she was a girl wouldn't even help her, he was so mad.
Stupid whore, Sirius thought Lily's way before sneaking off, back to the castle and to his dorm. Remus arrived not too long after him.
“Oh!” he said, walking in. “You're here, Sirius.”
“Yes, Moony. I'm here.” Sirius crossed his legs from his spot on his bed and stared down Remus, trying to look as intimidating as possible.
“Get tired of flirting with all those pretty girls?” Remus joked, plopping down on his own four-poster.
“I don't know. Get tired of snogging Lily?”
Remus gaped at Sirius.
“What---what did you say?”
“Oh, don't play coy, you jerk. James and I both saw you. James is off sulking right now. He'll kick your arse when he's in the right state, though, trust me.”
Remus stood up, still looking slightly shocked, but not embarrassed, as Sirius had first suspected he would.
“Where's Peter?” he asked, walking to the door and turning towards it.
“Peter!” Sirius exclaimed. “How can you care about Peter at a time like this! I'm chastising you, you know. He's out with Celia, I think,” Sirius answered anyway.
Remus locked the door to the dormitory.
“What are you doing that for?” Sirius asked. Remus whirled around and seemed infuriated. It was a weird look, one that Sirius had never seen, and it practically made him cringe.
“Privacy,” he growled. “I watched you, all night may I remind you, Sirius, with other girls. I saw you kiss a couple of them.” He pulled out his wand and ran it between his fingers. Sirius was tempted to say 'So?' but restrained himself.
“And you think,” he glared at Sirius, “that that didn't bother me.”
“No! Weeellllllluh----- I was looking at you and making funny faces all night! You knew I'd rather be with you!”
Remus smiled then, mean facade vanishing, and sat down on Sirius's bed.
“Well, then tell me that. Don't be all stupid and stuff. Be compassionate or something.”
“'And stuff.' 'Or something.' Your vernacular's at its peak, Moony, lemme tell you.”
“You ruined my Halloween Ball, Padfoot. Just tell me you like me and that I'm your wonderful whatever and you're sorry for being an inconsiderate git, for Christ's sake.”
Sirius chuckled. “I love you, Remus; you know that.” He leaned in to kiss him then and just stopped when he noticed the odd way Remus's face had contorted itself.
“You mean that?”
“Mean what?”
“What you just said?”
“What did I just say?”
“You said you loved me.”
“Oh. Did I? I guess I did. I love you.”
“Woah!” Remus stood up and towered over Sirius on his bed. “I just wanted you to say that you wanted this to be a serious thing. It's been driving me mad, how you told all the girls that you're engaged, and how you were still going on with that con today, at the ball, you were still throwing that story around, and then you hold my hand and stuff, but you've never cheated on me, I don't think, I just wanted you to confirm this, us, I was just teasing about you being jealous of me and Lily, which was totally innocent, by the way, which I'm assuming you know if you really saw, and then you were with all those girls and you were being a hypocrite and I was just gonna tickle you or something and you said love.”
“You're still using vague terminology.” Sirius stood and put his hand on Remus's forehead. “And run-on sentences. It's horrific. You sure you're fine?”
“I love you, too, Sirius. I've never been more sure of anything, ever. Ever. I love you, too.”
Sirius looked at his friend's eager face, confused as to the feeling in his stomach. It was like he felt sick and high at the same time. He felt like if he didn't do something, anything, and soon, he'd explode. If Remus was feeling this way, no wonder he was using run-on sentences.
He kissed Remus, quickly and passionately, and felt like it was their best kiss ever, even though his brain was partially distracted by how close Remus's nose was to stabbing him in the eye.
“This is---I love you, Sirius.”
“I love you, too, Remus.”
The boys kissed again, harder, and Sirius said against Remus's lips as he was prone to, “You like this better than Lily?”
“I dunno, you like feeling this better than cupping Frannie's breasts?” Remus grabbed Sirius's hand and put it on his crotch. Sirius pulled it back like it burned.
“When the hell did you become so forward?” He repeated his mantra; he felt like he had said that sentence to Remus again and again these last few weeks. Remus had taken to grabbing him in the most awkward places and throwing him against the wall for a quick kiss if no one was around. It terrified him that he had lost the control in their relationship, but he also liked the way Remus had opened up around him. He liked it a hell of a lot, actually.
He was suddenly feeling very nervous and very excited. He knew he should be almost ripping Moony's clothes off of him, but at the same time, he was also very scared and almost wished Moony would just stop and go back to his bed. Almost.
“Sit down,” Remus ordered him, pointing to his bed. Sirius obliged. “We---you wanna do something?”
“Something with our boy parts, you mean?”
Remus laughed. “Well-err, yeah.”
“I dunno how it all works,” Sirius admitted, and for him to admit to not knowing something was no small deal. “I mean, I understand the basic mechanics, but I've never read up on boys doing things, and---”
“I think we'll figure it out.” Remus nodded, though his eyes were planted firmly on Sirius's boots. “I dunno what to do either, but I thought it was just something you got, understood, in the spur of the moment.”
“Well, we're pretty 'spur' right now.”
“True. We should get undressed,” Remus decided aloud, and Sirius nodded. Sirius quickly unbuttoned his top and slipped out of his shoes and robe bottoms next, until he was just sitting on his bed clad in boxers.
“Damn it!” Remus stood up; he was having a bit more trouble getting undone.
“Here, let me,” Sirius said, reaching out to unbutton Remus's pants as Remus took off his own, very frilly, shirt. Sirius's hands were shaking, and it did not go unnoticed by Remus.
“You're so nervous.”
“I know.” Sirius laughed.
“Are you---Are you really scared?”
“I-I guess so. I'm just...I care about you so goddamn much, Moony.”
Remus sighed.
“This is it. This is what I want forever.” Remus grabbed Sirius's still shivering hands and kissed them both tenderly.
“Forever, eh?” Sirius chuckled, though his voice still held a nervous twinge to it. “That's kind of girly.”
“You're kind of girly,” Remus said before gently throwing himself onto Sirius, so they both were lying down. The boys kissed, and, Sirius decided, maybe all kisses after telling someone you love them are amazing because this one was just as good as the best one they'd previously had.
He was well-aware of his erection, and of Remus's, and this was a new feeling all together. He remembered that time, when he'd been with Diane, and she'd taken off her blouse and then pulled himself into her, and then, suddenly, he was imagining Remus, and then he'd been thrusting, harder and harder, all for Remus.
He started to thrust this time, and he heard Remus moan, and it was the most beautiful sound ever.
“You don't want to penetrate or anything?” Remus asked. What an unromantic and almost clinical sentence, Sirius thought, but yet, somehow, in the moment, shit could have come out of Remus’s mouth and he would have delighted in it, he was fairly sure.
“That sounds kind of painful.” Sirius was surprised he could speak at all, but Remus laughed so he must've.
“Yes, it does.”
Sirius was about to say something else, it was much easier to speak now that Remus was busy kissing his neck, but lost all thought when he felt Remus's hand grab him.
“Ohhh----” he said, or something to that effect.
“Is it okay if I do that?” Remus asked.
“I'd kill you if you stop.” Sirius closed his eyes and started thrusting harder, this time aware that it was Remus's hand touching him there.
Oh, God.
Then the hand was gone, and Sirius was aware that it was Remus there, with his there, rubbing against him there, and their boxers were gone. Remus must've peeled them away with his free hand, the sneaky fucker.
“I guess we could-do this---” Remus grunted.
“If you'd like.”
“Moro---oh! Ugh!”
Sirius was fairly sure Remus was about to call him a moron, but didn't quite make it. He would've teased him at that juncture, but wasn't sure that Remus would decipher “Oh, sweet GOD!” to mean, “Ha ha, I'm making you come.”
He instead settled for wrapping his arms around Remus's frail, pale form, the form he'd seen so many times, admired so many times, as the boy on top of him was rubbing against him, and decided that it was the most beautiful body ever and anyone who thought otherwise was blind. He kissed Remus's shoulder but was met with, “God, Sirius, I'm coming!”
“Then---do it! Ugh!”
Sirius came first, and then Remus did, though he continued rubbing slowly, breathing heavily into Sirius's ear. He nibbled it quickly before dropping to Sirius's side and laughing. “Our boxers are around our ankles,” Remus said, laughing and looking deliciously sweaty.
“We just---God! I can't believe we just did that!” Sirius rubbed his hair back from his sweat-soaked forehead. “What if James walked in? He could've just alohomorad and our arses would be out of this dorm!”
“He wouldn't come in.” Remus waved him off, yawning. “He's so afraid of us, if he wiggled the handle and it wouldn't open, he'd sleep out on the common couch. Homphobia that comes in handy. Besides, it was only ten minutes or so.”
“Why the hell did you do that?” Sirius asked, still not having his breath quite caught, as he tried to pull his boxers back up. “I was a jerk all night.”
“You weren't a jerk all night. Well, okay, you were. But, in fact, it was turning me on, watching you with all those girls, if that makes sense.”
“It doesn't.”
He felt Remus shrug.
“I can't elaborate- Sorry, Padfoot. Can I crash in your bed?” He yawned again. Sirius waved his curtains shut.
“You'd better.”
As the two cuddled together, Sirius broke into a smile. “I'm really in love with you. That's what this is. That's what people go on and on about- This. I'm in love with you.”
“You should know that now that I've gotten into your pants, I will leave you,” Remus joked without opening his eyes. He leaned over and kissed Sirius on the shoulder, mirroring what Sirius had done while they'd been together, and then kissed him on the lips. “I love you, too.”
---
“What are you doing out here, James?” Peter asked as he came into the common room, back from a post-ball snogging session with Celia, unable to contain the smile on his face. It had been a very good date indeed.
“Well, I'm making you room,” James said, pulling his legs back, “since I really don't think you want to go into our room right now.”
“Eww,” was all Peter said as he slipped down next to his friend.
---
Sequel to my Waiting a Long Time Quadrilogy