Another Year

[lupinremus]

I have to say that I am extremely glad to have everyone back at Hogwarts. There is something completely disturbing about the empty castle, it just isn't right. I mean, even during holidays there are still people here, and even if there aren't, you can imagine them just around the corner, and their spirit lingers in the air. The corridors were too

Comments

[smith_badger]

I wouldn’t complain about feeling numb if I were you. It’s a survival mechanism, when you simply can’t feel any more, else you’ll burn out. It’s entirely possible to feel too much, be entirely too perceptive, too empathetic, and you need the numbness, the not feeling, else…I don’t know. Something. I hear insanity’s fun, but I wouldn’t want to live there.

As for memories, call me a coward, call me anything you like. But I don’t like what I remember. I don’t like what I became from it. I wish I could wipe it clean. Count yourself lucky you have this opportunity.

[lupinremus]

Zach - are you alright?

I'd continue with our usual vein of sarcasm and debate, if it would make you feel better, but I'm not sure right now if that is waht you need.

And I am truly very sorry for Phoenix, Zach.

[smith_badger]

Fine. Happy. Absolutely brilliant. What do you want me to say? I'll say it. What do you want me to do? I'll do that too. I don't know what I want or what I need, but apparently everyone else does.

Everyone says they're sorry. They didn't do anything. It doesn't mean anything. It's all just pretty words to pretend that they mean something, when really, it's all going to be forgotten tomorrow. And all their stupid poetry that means absolutely fucking nothing, all their little inanities, all their little "Oh, let's hold a ceremony and skip around and throw flowers around" means nothing and I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Oh, Christ. I'm sorry, Remus.

[lupinremus]

I don't want you to do anything Zach, except what you want to do, and what you feel like doing. And if you don't know, then that is fine. You don't have to.

Don't apologize, Zach. I understand hate, and I understand the other side of it. If you want to hate right now, then hate. Hate is natural.

[smith_badger]

No, it's not. It's not natural, it's not in my nature, I don't hate anyone. Or so I thought. I don't hate. But I do, and it makes me sick because there's no reason for it. There's no reason, no point, no direction. It's just there and I don't want it. I...well...hate it. Ironic, no?

He was just a cat, and I have a sneaking suspicion that had my relatives died, I would be less messed up. This doesn't make any sense.