Ponderings of an evening
Here I sit more asleep than awake and once more having a waking dream of you.
~ Why did you leave me? I know why really , but ,the knowing doesn't make the reality any easier. Do you have any idea how many times I call your name or look up to see the shadow of you entering my room?
~Our time was too short. You never knew I sat outside Azkaban and howled like the beast they say I am trying to reach you. I sat for weeks trying to figure out a way inside without being placed behind those walls myself. I hate that I was so weak.If I had been a true friend I would have joined you. I am afraid I never had the courage you did. I wish I had if so all of this might have been prevented.
~ I like to think you can see the things I dream and hear me when I speak to you. It is the only real comfort I have found. I know you are laughing at me for trying to even speak with that snarky bastard but he is all that is left to me of us besides Harry. And there is no way I can burden his young shoulders with my burden. It is best he know nothing of this.
"Last month that ebony eyed git slipped something into my wolfbane potion and I whizzed green for a week. Never fear my friend I have something all planned for him he will not soon forget. Just let me tell you it involves lots of liquor and glow in the dark paint.
Remus pulled the blanket up to his chin and let the fireplace warm his slender body. As he drifted once more into that twilight sleep before dreaming his head falling forward to his chest he once more caught the shadow of his lost lover sitting on the opposite chair.
~"You came. I missed you so much. I am glad you came. Happy Valentines Day. I was hoping you would come tonight so I could tell you. I... well ,you know. "
His head slumped to his chest and his soft breathing filled the room.