(no subject)
ETA the fourth--bonus computer, not phone! So--I feel a bit like my point has been missed on some parts, so I wanted to clarify. I have absolutely no problem with cis-women-only rituals. What I have a problem with is when a ritual that is purported to be for "all women" or, in the case of Z's ritual, "the beauty and grace of the feminine form in all of her infinite variety", is limited to cis women only. This exclusion of trans women from rituals stated to be for ALL women invalidates trans women's identities AS WOMEN. It is NOT enough that trans people have their own trans-centric rituals and spaces, though these have great value to many trans people. "Transgender" is not a third sex separate from "men" and "women". A transgender woman is a woman, and if your ritual is specifically stated to be for ALL women, then you need to include ALL women, cis and trans.
That's what I'm trying to convey. I could also go on about how I feel so many cis women are ignoring the fact that trans women's issues ARE women's issues. I could add in how transphobic it is for cis women who have been raped, abused, or assaulted by men (and I include myself in that demographic as a sexual assault and abusive relationship survivor) use our trauma as a weapon against trans women simply because they were born into male bodies. I could emphasize that cisgender women do have privileges that trans women do not, simply for being cis--no one doubts that we cis women are women because we were born with vulvas, but trans women have their identities as women questioned all the time, within and outside of paganism. But I feel that these issues have been more than adequately covered in the many comments and discussions as a response to this post, for which I am very grateful.
So I am just going to leave this as my main point: have cis-women-only rituals if you want. Or cis-men-only. Or trans-women, or trans-men, or genderqueer, etc. There is space for sharing unique experiences. However, don't call your cis-women-only ritual one that is for ALL WOMEN. That is where I get angry, and why I was protesting this weekend.
ETA the third: Hey, you all really, really need to read this comment about the men who stood next to Z during her statement. It apparently wasn't what I had felt.
ETA the second: just wanted to tell you all you have been awesome with how well you've been handling discussions in the comments. Will catch up more later but in the meantime, thank you.
ETA: forgot to unscreen comments--my apologies! You still need a LJ or OpenID account so no completely anonymous comments are allowed.
I went to the protest at the Sacred Body of a Woman ritual tonight here at PantheaCon, and you can read about my experiences here.
First, I want to emphasize that this is only my opinion, not that of any organization I am a part of or write or otherwise work for. This is me, as an individual, speaking.
Second, this is raw material-emotionally and otherwise. PantheaCon ends tomorrow (Monday), and I need to release this from myself before I make the long, rejuvenating journey back up the 101 to enjoy the coast as I return to Portland. If there is time to process further, then I will continue to share the distillations when and as I can. Such as it is, I will be reading comments as they come into my inbox, but may not respond immediately. In the meantime, if you feel the need to comment, please keep it as civil as you can; I realize this is an emotionally charged topic for a lot of people on all sides.
Finally, I do have to thank PantheaCon for allowing room for continued discussion, debate, and demonstration. I know it's easy to say that they just shouldn't have allowed the ritual to occur due to discrimination, but they're in a tough place with a lot of pressures and people coming at them from all directions. So I want to thank the PCon people for the space for everything that has occurred this weekend, and handling it as well as they could under the circumstances.
So. I was not at PCon last year, so I did not firsthand experience the controversy surrounding the Lilith Rite, which was limited to cisgender women only, though this was not made clear, to my understanding, until people were turned away at the door for being male or transgender women. If you wish to read more about that, just Google “PantheaCon 2011” “Lilith Rite” and you'll get plenty of observations from people who were there; it may be helpful just to familiarize yourself with what's fueled this year's theme. I will say that I found out about the controversy from people who were here and experienced the situation firsthand, but I would prefer to speak of my own firsthand experience here tonight.
First, what I observed happen:
At 9pm tonight (Sunday), there was a ritual scheduled-I'll just give you the exact description from the official program guide:
The Sacred Body of Woman (Self-Blessing) 11:00 PM
Z Budapest
This skyclad rite honors the body of each and every woman
present, the beauty and grace of the feminine form in all of
her infinite variety. Allow yourself to be embraced by the glorious
love of your sisters, with voices raised in sacred song in this central
ritual of the Dianic Tradition. Genetic women only.
As a response to this ritual, Thorn Coyle organized a silent protest starting fifteen minutes before the ritual began, out in the hallway by the room in which it would be happening. I joined in; after a few minutes of what appeared to be several dozen people getting settled in, Thorn sat down and began to silently meditate. The rest of us followed suit, some appearing to meditate and some, like yours truly, quietly observing and being present.
The attendees of the Sacred Body of Woman ritual, who had been lining up across the hallway from our protest, then were invited into the room to begin the ritual. Once they were in, Z Budapest, along with several staff from PantheaCon, stood out before the half-opened door and faced us. A number of Z's supporters, who appeared to be primarily men, showed up from down the hall; they were only around as long as she spoke, and then went away again.
A video camera captured Z's official statement to us. The statement differed in form from the written official statement that was then passed out, though the thing I remember the most about her spoken words were her emphasizing multiple times that “I am not the enemy”. The video is not yet online, though it's barely an hour old as I write this. However, this is the written statement as I have it here in hand:
[First, PantheaCon's official statement.]
This year, once again the community is talking about trans issues and there are strong opinions on all sides of the issue. At PantheaCon we appreciate and honor many points of view. We have provided space for as many of those voices as we can. Some of those voices disagree.
Last year there was a ritual that caused quite a bit of controversy which led to two statements from the Z Budpest [sic]. Some false statements may have been attributed to Z. Please forward any quotes that are purport [sic] to have been authored by Z about this issue to programming@pantheacon.com. Thank you so much for understanding as we grow and learn as a community.
[Then Z Budapest's official statement.]
This is a statement from Z. Budapest to be read outside the door of her ritual The Sacred Body of a Woman on February 19, 2012:
“I know you are here for me. I come out to say something to all of you. I am sorry for [sic] if I have hurt anyone's feelings. I apologize.
I stand for your right of sacred space for the trans community. I stand with my life's work for the women to have the right to their sacred space equally.
I have supported PantheaCon [sic] goals for unity and diversity for the 18 years this conference has existed and an opportunity to have everyone express themselves in a safe place.
Peace.”
After her spoken statement, Z went into the room and the door was shut. Then one of the PantheaCon staff read the written statement as above. We the protesters continued to sit in silence; copies of the written statement were passed around. Some protesters chose not to take one when offered, if they were not meditating.
We sat from approximately 8:45 pm to 9:20 pm, if I recall correctly. Then Thorn stood and addressed us, thanking us for being there, and one of the protesters handed out Girl Scout cookies to some of us. Then the protesters quietly dispersed down the hallway.
And now, my initial impressions, still fresh and raw in my mind and heart.
First, I feel a little as though we protestors may have been seen as potential threat, as protesters often are. I admit I felt rather threatened when Z, who already had a number of PCon staff arranging for taping and distribution of her statement, and all of the women in the ritual area who supported her views, additionally had even more people, primarily men, show up simply to back her up. Was it not enough that she had a room full of women who had spoken by their actions that they were behind her, that she also had to have additional people who showed up solely to stand next to her for the duration of her statement? Fair enough if it helped her be brave enough to make her statement, but I felt personally the same way about these extra people that I've felt about an extra dose of police at a peaceful anti-war protest: you are already the majority. Do you really need to show off your power even more?
Anyway. That was just one thing I wanted to get off my chest as a personal experience.
I am not a transgender person; despite my genderfluid identity, I still primarily identify as a cisgender woman and my gender expression tends toward that for the most part these days. So I cannot speak as a trans person, and all I know of what affects trans people is what my trans friends, acquaintances, and others have told me. But I consider myself as much as an ally as I can be (and hope that my support is welcome). To my mind, “Grace of the feminine form in all of her infinite variety” does not match “Genetic women only”. And this is the first part of why I joined the protest tonight.
This reason, standing with the transgender community, was further strengthened for me when I read and heard Z's statement. From her written one, the thing that stands out to me the most is “I stand for your right of sacred space for the trans community. I stand with my life's work for the women to have the right to their sacred space equally.”
I am not the only person to observe the hypocrisy of speaking of “transgender people” and “women” as entirely separate communities. Transgender women ARE women. For Z to officially draw a distinction between “women”, and “the transgender community” as two separate sacred spaces just highlights the problem. From what I understand, “the transgender community” exists both as a place for trans people to be able to talk about what is unique to their experiences of not being born into a body of the sex they identify as-and also as a safe haven from discrimination. The first? Completely understandable. The second? Ought not even have a reason, because there is no excuse for that discrimination.
If you want to have a cisgender-women only space, then say so. But don't speak of it in terms of “we include all women” when you're really only including some women. If you absolutely have to, start with the knowledge that “all women” includes both cis and trans women, and then state that you are specifically excluding trans women. At least that's more honest.
Further, listen to the women who have been hurt by being told by cisgender women, to include pagans and to include in supposed “women-only” spaces, that they are “just men in dresses”, or they “aren't real women because they have penises” or even “just men trying to infiltrate women's space”. AND ADDRESS THAT. Don't just say “I'm sorry, mea culpa, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings” over and over again. Quit dodging the issue. Because trans women issues ARE women's issues.
Z spoke in her spoken statement about how she starts with the concept that every minute a (cisgender) woman dies in childbirth and that's what informs her work. Well, transgender people are at a much higher than average risk for being murdered specifically for being trans. And they're more likely to commit suicide directly because of issues related to being trans. There is a higher ratio of trans people who work in the sex industry because of discrimination in other forms of work, and so they face the disproportionate risks of sex work as well. And so on.
And yet so many cis women ignore these issues that face trans women (and men). And it's that ignorance that I saw perpetuated tonight in the statements, and in every statement that “only cis women are real women” and “trans issues are separate issues”. I feel so much that the point was missed entirely tonight.
So why should I, as a cisgender woman who would have been perfectly welcome in tonight's ritual, even care? Why didn't I just exercise my privilege as a cis woman to waltz into that room, strip off my clothing, and stand in perfect comfort with women I knew would have more or less similar bodies to mine, even if the details-weight, color, etc-may have been a bit different here and there? Why was I sitting at that protest across the hallway in silence, with my feet falling asleep and my partner waiting for me in the hotel restaurant while my supper cooled?
Because I had that choice, to be in that room or not. And others didn't. And I felt it was important to exercise my choice to highlight that disparity. I can't speak as a trans woman, or a black woman, or a disabled woman, nor can I speak as a man, cis or trans, who feels that patriarchy also oppresses him, and where all these experiences intersect. But at the very least I can help make these issues more visible, to fight for room in feminism for these often-silenced voices. I hope that's using my privilege wisely.
And, not as long, but a very important second part of why I was at that protest-I felt, this weekend, the distinct absence of people who either chose not to be here for this convention, or cokould not be here, who were hurt and traumatized by last year's experience. While some were trans women, some were also men, and while my experience this year dealt primarily with transphobia, I include them all knowing that there were even more gender and sex controversies last year which I cannot speak of, which led to their absences this year.
For those of you who are reading this: My experience of PantheaCon was lessened because you weren't here, and although I cannot speak for you or say whether you would have protested too, I was protesting your lack of safe space here this year. And while I respect your reasons and decisions, I do have to say “Wish you were here. Miss you.”
That's what I'm trying to convey. I could also go on about how I feel so many cis women are ignoring the fact that trans women's issues ARE women's issues. I could add in how transphobic it is for cis women who have been raped, abused, or assaulted by men (and I include myself in that demographic as a sexual assault and abusive relationship survivor) use our trauma as a weapon against trans women simply because they were born into male bodies. I could emphasize that cisgender women do have privileges that trans women do not, simply for being cis--no one doubts that we cis women are women because we were born with vulvas, but trans women have their identities as women questioned all the time, within and outside of paganism. But I feel that these issues have been more than adequately covered in the many comments and discussions as a response to this post, for which I am very grateful.
So I am just going to leave this as my main point: have cis-women-only rituals if you want. Or cis-men-only. Or trans-women, or trans-men, or genderqueer, etc. There is space for sharing unique experiences. However, don't call your cis-women-only ritual one that is for ALL WOMEN. That is where I get angry, and why I was protesting this weekend.
ETA the third: Hey, you all really, really need to read this comment about the men who stood next to Z during her statement. It apparently wasn't what I had felt.
ETA the second: just wanted to tell you all you have been awesome with how well you've been handling discussions in the comments. Will catch up more later but in the meantime, thank you.
ETA: forgot to unscreen comments--my apologies! You still need a LJ or OpenID account so no completely anonymous comments are allowed.
I went to the protest at the Sacred Body of a Woman ritual tonight here at PantheaCon, and you can read about my experiences here.
First, I want to emphasize that this is only my opinion, not that of any organization I am a part of or write or otherwise work for. This is me, as an individual, speaking.
Second, this is raw material-emotionally and otherwise. PantheaCon ends tomorrow (Monday), and I need to release this from myself before I make the long, rejuvenating journey back up the 101 to enjoy the coast as I return to Portland. If there is time to process further, then I will continue to share the distillations when and as I can. Such as it is, I will be reading comments as they come into my inbox, but may not respond immediately. In the meantime, if you feel the need to comment, please keep it as civil as you can; I realize this is an emotionally charged topic for a lot of people on all sides.
Finally, I do have to thank PantheaCon for allowing room for continued discussion, debate, and demonstration. I know it's easy to say that they just shouldn't have allowed the ritual to occur due to discrimination, but they're in a tough place with a lot of pressures and people coming at them from all directions. So I want to thank the PCon people for the space for everything that has occurred this weekend, and handling it as well as they could under the circumstances.
So. I was not at PCon last year, so I did not firsthand experience the controversy surrounding the Lilith Rite, which was limited to cisgender women only, though this was not made clear, to my understanding, until people were turned away at the door for being male or transgender women. If you wish to read more about that, just Google “PantheaCon 2011” “Lilith Rite” and you'll get plenty of observations from people who were there; it may be helpful just to familiarize yourself with what's fueled this year's theme. I will say that I found out about the controversy from people who were here and experienced the situation firsthand, but I would prefer to speak of my own firsthand experience here tonight.
First, what I observed happen:
At 9pm tonight (Sunday), there was a ritual scheduled-I'll just give you the exact description from the official program guide:
The Sacred Body of Woman (Self-Blessing) 11:00 PM
Z Budapest
This skyclad rite honors the body of each and every woman
present, the beauty and grace of the feminine form in all of
her infinite variety. Allow yourself to be embraced by the glorious
love of your sisters, with voices raised in sacred song in this central
ritual of the Dianic Tradition. Genetic women only.
As a response to this ritual, Thorn Coyle organized a silent protest starting fifteen minutes before the ritual began, out in the hallway by the room in which it would be happening. I joined in; after a few minutes of what appeared to be several dozen people getting settled in, Thorn sat down and began to silently meditate. The rest of us followed suit, some appearing to meditate and some, like yours truly, quietly observing and being present.
The attendees of the Sacred Body of Woman ritual, who had been lining up across the hallway from our protest, then were invited into the room to begin the ritual. Once they were in, Z Budapest, along with several staff from PantheaCon, stood out before the half-opened door and faced us. A number of Z's supporters, who appeared to be primarily men, showed up from down the hall; they were only around as long as she spoke, and then went away again.
A video camera captured Z's official statement to us. The statement differed in form from the written official statement that was then passed out, though the thing I remember the most about her spoken words were her emphasizing multiple times that “I am not the enemy”. The video is not yet online, though it's barely an hour old as I write this. However, this is the written statement as I have it here in hand:
[First, PantheaCon's official statement.]
This year, once again the community is talking about trans issues and there are strong opinions on all sides of the issue. At PantheaCon we appreciate and honor many points of view. We have provided space for as many of those voices as we can. Some of those voices disagree.
Last year there was a ritual that caused quite a bit of controversy which led to two statements from the Z Budpest [sic]. Some false statements may have been attributed to Z. Please forward any quotes that are purport [sic] to have been authored by Z about this issue to programming@pantheacon.com. Thank you so much for understanding as we grow and learn as a community.
[Then Z Budapest's official statement.]
This is a statement from Z. Budapest to be read outside the door of her ritual The Sacred Body of a Woman on February 19, 2012:
“I know you are here for me. I come out to say something to all of you. I am sorry for [sic] if I have hurt anyone's feelings. I apologize.
I stand for your right of sacred space for the trans community. I stand with my life's work for the women to have the right to their sacred space equally.
I have supported PantheaCon [sic] goals for unity and diversity for the 18 years this conference has existed and an opportunity to have everyone express themselves in a safe place.
Peace.”
After her spoken statement, Z went into the room and the door was shut. Then one of the PantheaCon staff read the written statement as above. We the protesters continued to sit in silence; copies of the written statement were passed around. Some protesters chose not to take one when offered, if they were not meditating.
We sat from approximately 8:45 pm to 9:20 pm, if I recall correctly. Then Thorn stood and addressed us, thanking us for being there, and one of the protesters handed out Girl Scout cookies to some of us. Then the protesters quietly dispersed down the hallway.
And now, my initial impressions, still fresh and raw in my mind and heart.
First, I feel a little as though we protestors may have been seen as potential threat, as protesters often are. I admit I felt rather threatened when Z, who already had a number of PCon staff arranging for taping and distribution of her statement, and all of the women in the ritual area who supported her views, additionally had even more people, primarily men, show up simply to back her up. Was it not enough that she had a room full of women who had spoken by their actions that they were behind her, that she also had to have additional people who showed up solely to stand next to her for the duration of her statement? Fair enough if it helped her be brave enough to make her statement, but I felt personally the same way about these extra people that I've felt about an extra dose of police at a peaceful anti-war protest: you are already the majority. Do you really need to show off your power even more?
Anyway. That was just one thing I wanted to get off my chest as a personal experience.
I am not a transgender person; despite my genderfluid identity, I still primarily identify as a cisgender woman and my gender expression tends toward that for the most part these days. So I cannot speak as a trans person, and all I know of what affects trans people is what my trans friends, acquaintances, and others have told me. But I consider myself as much as an ally as I can be (and hope that my support is welcome). To my mind, “Grace of the feminine form in all of her infinite variety” does not match “Genetic women only”. And this is the first part of why I joined the protest tonight.
This reason, standing with the transgender community, was further strengthened for me when I read and heard Z's statement. From her written one, the thing that stands out to me the most is “I stand for your right of sacred space for the trans community. I stand with my life's work for the women to have the right to their sacred space equally.”
I am not the only person to observe the hypocrisy of speaking of “transgender people” and “women” as entirely separate communities. Transgender women ARE women. For Z to officially draw a distinction between “women”, and “the transgender community” as two separate sacred spaces just highlights the problem. From what I understand, “the transgender community” exists both as a place for trans people to be able to talk about what is unique to their experiences of not being born into a body of the sex they identify as-and also as a safe haven from discrimination. The first? Completely understandable. The second? Ought not even have a reason, because there is no excuse for that discrimination.
If you want to have a cisgender-women only space, then say so. But don't speak of it in terms of “we include all women” when you're really only including some women. If you absolutely have to, start with the knowledge that “all women” includes both cis and trans women, and then state that you are specifically excluding trans women. At least that's more honest.
Further, listen to the women who have been hurt by being told by cisgender women, to include pagans and to include in supposed “women-only” spaces, that they are “just men in dresses”, or they “aren't real women because they have penises” or even “just men trying to infiltrate women's space”. AND ADDRESS THAT. Don't just say “I'm sorry, mea culpa, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings” over and over again. Quit dodging the issue. Because trans women issues ARE women's issues.
Z spoke in her spoken statement about how she starts with the concept that every minute a (cisgender) woman dies in childbirth and that's what informs her work. Well, transgender people are at a much higher than average risk for being murdered specifically for being trans. And they're more likely to commit suicide directly because of issues related to being trans. There is a higher ratio of trans people who work in the sex industry because of discrimination in other forms of work, and so they face the disproportionate risks of sex work as well. And so on.
And yet so many cis women ignore these issues that face trans women (and men). And it's that ignorance that I saw perpetuated tonight in the statements, and in every statement that “only cis women are real women” and “trans issues are separate issues”. I feel so much that the point was missed entirely tonight.
So why should I, as a cisgender woman who would have been perfectly welcome in tonight's ritual, even care? Why didn't I just exercise my privilege as a cis woman to waltz into that room, strip off my clothing, and stand in perfect comfort with women I knew would have more or less similar bodies to mine, even if the details-weight, color, etc-may have been a bit different here and there? Why was I sitting at that protest across the hallway in silence, with my feet falling asleep and my partner waiting for me in the hotel restaurant while my supper cooled?
Because I had that choice, to be in that room or not. And others didn't. And I felt it was important to exercise my choice to highlight that disparity. I can't speak as a trans woman, or a black woman, or a disabled woman, nor can I speak as a man, cis or trans, who feels that patriarchy also oppresses him, and where all these experiences intersect. But at the very least I can help make these issues more visible, to fight for room in feminism for these often-silenced voices. I hope that's using my privilege wisely.
And, not as long, but a very important second part of why I was at that protest-I felt, this weekend, the distinct absence of people who either chose not to be here for this convention, or cokould not be here, who were hurt and traumatized by last year's experience. While some were trans women, some were also men, and while my experience this year dealt primarily with transphobia, I include them all knowing that there were even more gender and sex controversies last year which I cannot speak of, which led to their absences this year.
For those of you who are reading this: My experience of PantheaCon was lessened because you weren't here, and although I cannot speak for you or say whether you would have protested too, I was protesting your lack of safe space here this year. And while I respect your reasons and decisions, I do have to say “Wish you were here. Miss you.”