Don't Drop the Key (Spander, PG-13 ficlet)
Title: Don't Drop the Key
Author: frk_werewolf
Fandom: Buffyverse
tamingthemuse Prompt #5: Arcade
Pairing: Spander
Rating: PG-13
Warning: slash, herpes ointment, and handcuffs
Word Count: 583
Summary: In which there is a horny human, a lost key, a vampire, and a small town.
Author's Notes: This fic doesn't really have much of a plot to it. It's purpose is to make you laugh. Oh, it takes place post-Season 7, though that doesn't really matter.
From U.S. Gazetteer Places (2000) :
Arcade, NY -- U.S. village in New York
Population (2000): 2,026
Xander didn't know how he got himself into these sorts of messes. Really, it just wasn't fair. One moment he was being a brave Watcher's Council...employee? No, he wasn't quite that. He wasn't a Watcher, either.
A Slayer Searching Fellow, perhaps? Xander blinked. This was getting off topic.
Though, it really was a good question. "I'm Xander Harris, Slayer Searching Fellow!"
...It sounded like an advertisement for herpes ointment.
"Hello, Harris." Xander looked up to find Spike walking passed the bedroom door. The vampire didn’t even glance over. He wanted to cry out for help, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to let Spike see him sitting on the bed naked, one hand still attached to the headboard. Sex filled and happy relationship aside, Xander wasn't ready for Spike to laugh at him.
Time passed. Xander thought about how upsetting it was that he had dropped the key to the handcuffs behind the bed. He wanted to blame Spike, because most things were Spike's fault. However, he knew that it wasn't the case for once. Xander had calmly told Spike that he could go ahead and go out on patrol, while Xander cleaned up their mess. How was he supposed to know that he'd drop the key?
...And why did they need to patrol in such a puny town like Arcade, New York, anyway? Oh, right. He was waiting on the latest Slayer to appear and vampires had begun to pop out of the woodwork when Xander had arrived in town. It kind of proved the theory about Xander being a demon magnet. Normally vampires and demons would ignore a small place like this.
Xander was glad he had Spike to keep him company. Spike was nice--occasionally--and sexy. Very sexy, in fact. Xander pondered the pure sexiness that was Spike.
This of course made him horny and, well, he was already naked so...
"Xander, are you touching yourself with me in the other room?" Spike called through the wall.
How did he know?
"How do you know?" Xander returned.
"I can smell it," Spike informed him. "It's making me hungry."
Okay, too much information right there, buddy. Xander stopped touching himself and sighed. He looked up at the ceiling and imagined that all of the little bumps up there formed naked people. The naked people started dancing. Xander hummed, providing the music.
"Oi, whelp!" Spike yelled. "What did you do with the Fruit Loops?"
"I ate them," Xander replied.
He could hear Spike sigh dramatically. For a guy who didn't need air, Spike sure did make loud breathing noises, especially in bed. Oh, yes, Spike in bed…
"Xander, you're touching yourself again, aren't you?" Spike asked with a low chuckle.
Damn it!
"So what if I am?" Xander retorted.
"Well, then I suppose--" Spike stopped talking when he walked into the bedroom. He immediately burst out laughing. "Blood hell, whelp, what are you still doing tied up?"
"I, umm, dropped the key," Xander mumbled.
"Oh, that's too bad, pet." Xander watching, a little worried, as Spike slinked over and began crawling up the bed toward him. Spike licked at his knee and smirked. "I suppose the mature thing to do is find the key and let you go, yeah?"
"Yeah," Xander agreed. He gave Spike a hopeful look.
"Alright, then. I'll just do that...later," Spike said with a grin. Xander started to protest.
Then, he started to moan. After a while, Xander completely forgot about being released at all.
Author: frk_werewolf
Fandom: Buffyverse
tamingthemuse Prompt #5: Arcade
Pairing: Spander
Rating: PG-13
Warning: slash, herpes ointment, and handcuffs
Word Count: 583
Summary: In which there is a horny human, a lost key, a vampire, and a small town.
Author's Notes: This fic doesn't really have much of a plot to it. It's purpose is to make you laugh. Oh, it takes place post-Season 7, though that doesn't really matter.
From U.S. Gazetteer Places (2000) :
Arcade, NY -- U.S. village in New York
Population (2000): 2,026
Xander didn't know how he got himself into these sorts of messes. Really, it just wasn't fair. One moment he was being a brave Watcher's Council...employee? No, he wasn't quite that. He wasn't a Watcher, either.
A Slayer Searching Fellow, perhaps? Xander blinked. This was getting off topic.
Though, it really was a good question. "I'm Xander Harris, Slayer Searching Fellow!"
...It sounded like an advertisement for herpes ointment.
"Hello, Harris." Xander looked up to find Spike walking passed the bedroom door. The vampire didn’t even glance over. He wanted to cry out for help, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to let Spike see him sitting on the bed naked, one hand still attached to the headboard. Sex filled and happy relationship aside, Xander wasn't ready for Spike to laugh at him.
Time passed. Xander thought about how upsetting it was that he had dropped the key to the handcuffs behind the bed. He wanted to blame Spike, because most things were Spike's fault. However, he knew that it wasn't the case for once. Xander had calmly told Spike that he could go ahead and go out on patrol, while Xander cleaned up their mess. How was he supposed to know that he'd drop the key?
...And why did they need to patrol in such a puny town like Arcade, New York, anyway? Oh, right. He was waiting on the latest Slayer to appear and vampires had begun to pop out of the woodwork when Xander had arrived in town. It kind of proved the theory about Xander being a demon magnet. Normally vampires and demons would ignore a small place like this.
Xander was glad he had Spike to keep him company. Spike was nice--occasionally--and sexy. Very sexy, in fact. Xander pondered the pure sexiness that was Spike.
This of course made him horny and, well, he was already naked so...
"Xander, are you touching yourself with me in the other room?" Spike called through the wall.
How did he know?
"How do you know?" Xander returned.
"I can smell it," Spike informed him. "It's making me hungry."
Okay, too much information right there, buddy. Xander stopped touching himself and sighed. He looked up at the ceiling and imagined that all of the little bumps up there formed naked people. The naked people started dancing. Xander hummed, providing the music.
"Oi, whelp!" Spike yelled. "What did you do with the Fruit Loops?"
"I ate them," Xander replied.
He could hear Spike sigh dramatically. For a guy who didn't need air, Spike sure did make loud breathing noises, especially in bed. Oh, yes, Spike in bed…
"Xander, you're touching yourself again, aren't you?" Spike asked with a low chuckle.
Damn it!
"So what if I am?" Xander retorted.
"Well, then I suppose--" Spike stopped talking when he walked into the bedroom. He immediately burst out laughing. "Blood hell, whelp, what are you still doing tied up?"
"I, umm, dropped the key," Xander mumbled.
"Oh, that's too bad, pet." Xander watching, a little worried, as Spike slinked over and began crawling up the bed toward him. Spike licked at his knee and smirked. "I suppose the mature thing to do is find the key and let you go, yeah?"
"Yeah," Xander agreed. He gave Spike a hopeful look.
"Alright, then. I'll just do that...later," Spike said with a grin. Xander started to protest.
Then, he started to moan. After a while, Xander completely forgot about being released at all.