[#159] Zodiac.
Started reading about the Cancer sign here (directed from
ack_attack's journal) and ended up picking a bunch of paragpraphs that describe me and then bolding the particulary good bits. It's so nice for lazy old me when I can just get someone else to describe me and then copy&paste it :D
Lets start with a supercheesy paragraph!
The best time to hunt for human crabs is by the light of the silvery Moon. It's usually easier to recognize them at night, when they're all dressed up to go dreaming, wrapped in vivid imagination. Moonlight becomes them beautifully. It goes with their many moods, and it matches their changing emotions.
You may first come across him when he's laughing the "crazy lunar laugh." It's inescapably contagious. It runs up and down the scales with a deep, throaty undertone. It giggles and gurgles, then finally erupts in a loud cackle that sounds exactly like two hundred hens laying two hundred perfect eggs.No one likes a joke better than Cancer, and his funny side is all the more startling when it pops up so incongruously from his normally quiet, gentle personality. Lunar humor runs deep. It's never shallow or superficial, because it stems from the sensitive observation of human behavior. Cancer may not wear his lunar laugh every day, but he can always dig it out of his old trunk in the basement at a moment's notice.
--
These people don't pant after the spotlight like the extro-verted Leos or-clownish Sagittarians, but Cancerians have an uncanny sense of publicity, when it pleases them to be noticed. You won't find Cancer pursuing fame with passion (he pursues nothing with true passion), but he certainly won't shrink from it. Cancer may hide from things, but you can be sure that appreciation is not one of them.
--
Cancer can turn bluer than an inkwell, and drown you in depression deeper than the floor of the ocean. His fears are usually well covered by the nutty lunar humor, but they are always with him, haunting his days and nights with a vague sense of nameless dangers, lurking in the shadows. Pessimism is never far away, always ready to spoil those beautiful nights of fancy. A Cancerian can take the dreamiest trips to the stars on the gossamer wings of his imagination, if he leams to ignore that harping inner voice which keeps nagging him and warning him he might get lost in outer space.
His tears are never crocodile tears. They flow from the deep rivers of his fragile and vulnerable heart. You can wound his sensitive feelings with a harsh glance or a rough t- tone of voice. Cruelty can bring on brimming eyes or a complete withdrawal. It won't be easy to spot the crab in this mood, because when he's hurt, he disappears into reproachful silence. Sometimes, he can retaliate with an almost scorpion revenge, but he'll usually do it secretly, seldom openly with the Scorpio's fine contempt for consequences. Most of the time, however, hell turn away from getting even, content to hide under his protective shell.
--
He's also a well of secrecy. People automatically confide their secrets to the crab, but with his sensitive emotions he already knows what's on their minds. Cancerian compassion is deep and highly intuitive. There's hardly a secret he can't strip naked, if he chooses. It's a one-way street, however. He'll eventually soak up all there is to know about you, but you'll never guess his own private thoughts. He guards his inner feelings carefully from prying eyes. The typical Cancer person doesn't like to discuss his personal life, but he's delighted to hear about yours, as his lunar imagination lets him easily guess the parts you leave out. Cancer seldom judges, however. He simply gathers, absorbs, reflects.
--
Although the crab gives back emotions like a mirror, he won't give up tangible things without a struggle. Cancer will never relinquish a treasured object, and that can range all the way from a beloved friend or relative to a title or a position-from an old tintype photo to a pair of frazzled house slippers, with the soles half worn away.
--
Cancer's heart is too soft not to be touched by someone's need. He truly cares and he wants to help. But he'll sit back cautiously and wait to see if. there's anyone else who might move in first. Why should he foolishly squander his time or money if it is not necessary? Cancer will rescue the struggler at the last minute. He'll let you go down twice, but he'll save you just before you submerge the third time. He's too kind to watch you drown, but he's certainly not going to get all wet if there's a life guard around, or if it looks as if you can swim to shore yourself.
--
Cancer tends to brood over mistakes instead of shrugging off bad luck and trying again, and it will be some time before he takes another chance.
--
(This doesn't apply precisely, but I love, love, love water since forever).
You'll often find the Cancerian on the water. If he's not swimming, he's water-skiing or at the very least, wading.Whatever it is, he's never as moody when he's happily walking his own deck in the tennis shoes he bought when he graduated from college. (Don't ever suggest that he buy new ones. There's one thing you have to understand about these people. If it's old, it has value. If it's new, it's suspect.)
--
If they get a firm grip on happiness and refuse to let go, the crabs have the power to cling to life with the same tenacity that they cling to those old newspapers and pot holders. Cheerfulness, optimism and laughter, taken daily in large doses, will keep their minds and bodies healthy. As Cancer imagines himself to feel, so shall he actually feel. No other sign is so prone to let negative thoughts bring on illness, yet no other sign can create such miracles of self-healing. It's a strange contradiction, and it would immensely benefit all Cancerians to ponder it.
--
There's a touch of Moon madness in every Cancerian. He knows a wild and secret place where two lilies and seven white roses grow among the iris. Sometimes the memory of this faraway garden causes him to explode with laughter. Now and then it causes him to weep with sadness. Cancer patiently gathers the emeralds, pearls and moon-stones carelessly dropped in the sand by others, as he waits for the tides to wash his silver dreams ashore.
--
Female-Centric:
In the beginning, you'll have trouble deciding if your Cancerian girl is a gentle moon maiden or a wild loony-bird. In the end, you still won't know.
..
As you know from the other Sun signs, few women are perfect. The Aries girl is always running around hailing her own taxis and butting her head against brick walls, the Sagittarius girl is shockingly outspoken, the Scorpio girl can frighten you, Gemini can be fickle, Leo too proud- and so on. Cancer women ordinarily have none of these faults.
Nevertheless, there are some "don'ts" to remember with her. She hates to be criticized, she is deeply wounded by ridicule, and she just can't stand being rejected. One, two, three. They're basics. Seldom openly aggressive, the typical Cancerian hesitates. You'll have to make the first move. If she moves anywhere at all, it will be backwards or sideways. With her basically shy nature and fear that she won't be accepted, she echoes the male of the Sun sign.
..
Truthfully, after you've won the Cancerian female, she may be just a little tenacious-like, she'll never let go of you as long as she lives. That's not bad. There're men who starve for such loyalty. You'll never starve for either food or affection when you've been lucky enough to win her kind of love. The loony laugh that accompanies it can be kind of kicks, too.
There's nothing shallow or superficial about the sentiments of a Cancer woman. When she owns a man or a teacup, it's hers forever.
..
The trickiest aspect in handling her is to keep her from crawling into the always handy, tough Cancerian shell. Her feelings are so sensitive and tender, the slightest unintentional remark can wound her harshly. It's hard to know when she'll suddenly become vulnerable to hidden meanings. You could waltz in some night and say, "Your hair looks gorgeous," and she'll get a tear in her eye. Why? Because you insinuated her hair looked frightful the last time you saw her. Cancer women can be quite touchy. They cry a lot. Always have a fresh handkerchief ready.
(When people tell me I've lost weight, I always think, "How fat did I look before? :(" )
..
Females born under the sign of the crab aren't necessarily stingy, but they have this little habit of saving things. You could say it's a downright compulsion. She'll seldom throw away pieces of string, buttons, jars, cans, husbands, or old dress patterns. Who are you to say she won't find a purpose for those torn theater stubs, faded love letters and used tea bags? Someday in the unpredictable future, she may need the burned-out fuses she keeps in the drawer with those broken Christmas ornaments. Don't ask her how she's going to find a use for two hundred stockings and gloves, long divorced from their mates. She will, she will! This isn't the girl to take kindly to someone who burns a hole in the heirloom bedspread her great-aunt Matilda quilted. Everything has a sentimental value, including canceled checks from 1952 and her old Girl Scout badges. She treasures the things she owns and guards them jealously. That, of course, includes you. She's not so much jealous as possessive. There's a shade of difference.
ack_attack's journal) and ended up picking a bunch of paragpraphs that describe me and then bolding the particulary good bits. It's so nice for lazy old me when I can just get someone else to describe me and then copy&paste it :D
Lets start with a supercheesy paragraph!
The best time to hunt for human crabs is by the light of the silvery Moon. It's usually easier to recognize them at night, when they're all dressed up to go dreaming, wrapped in vivid imagination. Moonlight becomes them beautifully. It goes with their many moods, and it matches their changing emotions.
You may first come across him when he's laughing the "crazy lunar laugh." It's inescapably contagious. It runs up and down the scales with a deep, throaty undertone. It giggles and gurgles, then finally erupts in a loud cackle that sounds exactly like two hundred hens laying two hundred perfect eggs.No one likes a joke better than Cancer, and his funny side is all the more startling when it pops up so incongruously from his normally quiet, gentle personality. Lunar humor runs deep. It's never shallow or superficial, because it stems from the sensitive observation of human behavior. Cancer may not wear his lunar laugh every day, but he can always dig it out of his old trunk in the basement at a moment's notice.
--
These people don't pant after the spotlight like the extro-verted Leos or-clownish Sagittarians, but Cancerians have an uncanny sense of publicity, when it pleases them to be noticed. You won't find Cancer pursuing fame with passion (he pursues nothing with true passion), but he certainly won't shrink from it. Cancer may hide from things, but you can be sure that appreciation is not one of them.
--
Cancer can turn bluer than an inkwell, and drown you in depression deeper than the floor of the ocean. His fears are usually well covered by the nutty lunar humor, but they are always with him, haunting his days and nights with a vague sense of nameless dangers, lurking in the shadows. Pessimism is never far away, always ready to spoil those beautiful nights of fancy. A Cancerian can take the dreamiest trips to the stars on the gossamer wings of his imagination, if he leams to ignore that harping inner voice which keeps nagging him and warning him he might get lost in outer space.
His tears are never crocodile tears. They flow from the deep rivers of his fragile and vulnerable heart. You can wound his sensitive feelings with a harsh glance or a rough t- tone of voice. Cruelty can bring on brimming eyes or a complete withdrawal. It won't be easy to spot the crab in this mood, because when he's hurt, he disappears into reproachful silence. Sometimes, he can retaliate with an almost scorpion revenge, but he'll usually do it secretly, seldom openly with the Scorpio's fine contempt for consequences. Most of the time, however, hell turn away from getting even, content to hide under his protective shell.
--
He's also a well of secrecy. People automatically confide their secrets to the crab, but with his sensitive emotions he already knows what's on their minds. Cancerian compassion is deep and highly intuitive. There's hardly a secret he can't strip naked, if he chooses. It's a one-way street, however. He'll eventually soak up all there is to know about you, but you'll never guess his own private thoughts. He guards his inner feelings carefully from prying eyes. The typical Cancer person doesn't like to discuss his personal life, but he's delighted to hear about yours, as his lunar imagination lets him easily guess the parts you leave out. Cancer seldom judges, however. He simply gathers, absorbs, reflects.
--
Although the crab gives back emotions like a mirror, he won't give up tangible things without a struggle. Cancer will never relinquish a treasured object, and that can range all the way from a beloved friend or relative to a title or a position-from an old tintype photo to a pair of frazzled house slippers, with the soles half worn away.
--
Cancer's heart is too soft not to be touched by someone's need. He truly cares and he wants to help. But he'll sit back cautiously and wait to see if. there's anyone else who might move in first. Why should he foolishly squander his time or money if it is not necessary? Cancer will rescue the struggler at the last minute. He'll let you go down twice, but he'll save you just before you submerge the third time. He's too kind to watch you drown, but he's certainly not going to get all wet if there's a life guard around, or if it looks as if you can swim to shore yourself.
--
Cancer tends to brood over mistakes instead of shrugging off bad luck and trying again, and it will be some time before he takes another chance.
--
(This doesn't apply precisely, but I love, love, love water since forever).
You'll often find the Cancerian on the water. If he's not swimming, he's water-skiing or at the very least, wading.Whatever it is, he's never as moody when he's happily walking his own deck in the tennis shoes he bought when he graduated from college. (Don't ever suggest that he buy new ones. There's one thing you have to understand about these people. If it's old, it has value. If it's new, it's suspect.)
--
If they get a firm grip on happiness and refuse to let go, the crabs have the power to cling to life with the same tenacity that they cling to those old newspapers and pot holders. Cheerfulness, optimism and laughter, taken daily in large doses, will keep their minds and bodies healthy. As Cancer imagines himself to feel, so shall he actually feel. No other sign is so prone to let negative thoughts bring on illness, yet no other sign can create such miracles of self-healing. It's a strange contradiction, and it would immensely benefit all Cancerians to ponder it.
--
There's a touch of Moon madness in every Cancerian. He knows a wild and secret place where two lilies and seven white roses grow among the iris. Sometimes the memory of this faraway garden causes him to explode with laughter. Now and then it causes him to weep with sadness. Cancer patiently gathers the emeralds, pearls and moon-stones carelessly dropped in the sand by others, as he waits for the tides to wash his silver dreams ashore.
--
Female-Centric:
In the beginning, you'll have trouble deciding if your Cancerian girl is a gentle moon maiden or a wild loony-bird. In the end, you still won't know.
..
As you know from the other Sun signs, few women are perfect. The Aries girl is always running around hailing her own taxis and butting her head against brick walls, the Sagittarius girl is shockingly outspoken, the Scorpio girl can frighten you, Gemini can be fickle, Leo too proud- and so on. Cancer women ordinarily have none of these faults.
Nevertheless, there are some "don'ts" to remember with her. She hates to be criticized, she is deeply wounded by ridicule, and she just can't stand being rejected. One, two, three. They're basics. Seldom openly aggressive, the typical Cancerian hesitates. You'll have to make the first move. If she moves anywhere at all, it will be backwards or sideways. With her basically shy nature and fear that she won't be accepted, she echoes the male of the Sun sign.
..
Truthfully, after you've won the Cancerian female, she may be just a little tenacious-like, she'll never let go of you as long as she lives. That's not bad. There're men who starve for such loyalty. You'll never starve for either food or affection when you've been lucky enough to win her kind of love. The loony laugh that accompanies it can be kind of kicks, too.
There's nothing shallow or superficial about the sentiments of a Cancer woman. When she owns a man or a teacup, it's hers forever.
..
The trickiest aspect in handling her is to keep her from crawling into the always handy, tough Cancerian shell. Her feelings are so sensitive and tender, the slightest unintentional remark can wound her harshly. It's hard to know when she'll suddenly become vulnerable to hidden meanings. You could waltz in some night and say, "Your hair looks gorgeous," and she'll get a tear in her eye. Why? Because you insinuated her hair looked frightful the last time you saw her. Cancer women can be quite touchy. They cry a lot. Always have a fresh handkerchief ready.
(When people tell me I've lost weight, I always think, "How fat did I look before? :(" )
..
Females born under the sign of the crab aren't necessarily stingy, but they have this little habit of saving things. You could say it's a downright compulsion. She'll seldom throw away pieces of string, buttons, jars, cans, husbands, or old dress patterns. Who are you to say she won't find a purpose for those torn theater stubs, faded love letters and used tea bags? Someday in the unpredictable future, she may need the burned-out fuses she keeps in the drawer with those broken Christmas ornaments. Don't ask her how she's going to find a use for two hundred stockings and gloves, long divorced from their mates. She will, she will! This isn't the girl to take kindly to someone who burns a hole in the heirloom bedspread her great-aunt Matilda quilted. Everything has a sentimental value, including canceled checks from 1952 and her old Girl Scout badges. She treasures the things she owns and guards them jealously. That, of course, includes you. She's not so much jealous as possessive. There's a shade of difference.