*headdesk*
Do you ever feel trapped? Like...maybe, there's something OUT there that's so unbelievably, insanely good but you're afraid you might not get to see it because you're stuck wherever you are?
I've been feeling like that a lot lately.
I graduated with my Bachelor's, my parents moved out of the house I've lived my entire life in, and they moved into a house they built right on the lake. Max moved in. I got a dog. I got married. It's like...life was just waiting to smack me in the face with everything and it didn't much matter if I wasn't ready, because I stayed still as everything changed around me.
Watertown's a small town. I feel like I'm pressed up against some sort of glass ceiling and a wall.
I used to be able to relate to my sisters-in-law (which was cool, since I don't have any siblings myself) and I don't now. They're either mothers or a mother-to-be and babble endlessly about kids and how I should have one. That's how his side of the family is, they're all about kids, which really isn't a bad thing. I just feel that they look at me like I'm a reproductive waste of space because I don't want to have kids, at least not right now. It's a lot of pressure.
Which is something my parents have always been completely fine with. I love my parents, they really are the fairest and the kindest people I've ever met, and I always wish I was more like them. I was more of a surprise to them when Mom found out she was pregnant. But they know how I feel about the whole having a kid thing. They've witnessed me get pressured, and they instantly stood up for me. My parents even have a plaque on their wall that says "Let me get this straight--my grandkid is a DOG?!" XD Wolfie even knows them by "Grandma" and "Grandpa."
I grew up at a very young age, emotionally, due to factors that weren't under my control and a couple bad experiences. I attended college for four years and never had a GPA lower than 3.5 and was the picture of responsibility (except for a day at my 4-year school, a halloween party where I got pretty drunk; hey, I was dressed up as a pirate wench so it was fitting XD but even with this, I had made triply sure I had a ride home with someone who was sober). I worked two and sometimes three jobs at a time, I was a tutor and a note taker for a developmentally disabled student, I was involved in student government and honor societies and local fund raisers for clubs at my school...hee, so, I was pretty boring. XD
Maybe I just feel this way because I never gave myself the chance to be irresponsible. :P I just hope that at 24, I'm not already "old."
I need to play moar video games. That'll make this go away. rofl.