Abraham Lincoln - Better president than fictional character.
So, I went to see Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter today, on the basis that it was too awesome a concept to not see. I was going to review it, because apparently that's now what I do on this journal. I wanted to, but couldn't quite manage it.
Because the only thing I could think in the cinema was, "Terrible movie."
"Teeeerrible movie."
"How is this movie so terri-- Holy shit that vampire just threw a horse at Abraham Lincoln! And Lincoln got on the horse and rode after him, that was awesome!"
"And now, back to the characters that you couldn't persuade me to care about if they were all played by Tom Hiddleston and Hayley Atwell."
I think the main problem the film had was that they didn't actually establish any of the characters'.. well, characters. I couldn't tell you any of their defining character traits. Instead we have guy who knows how to fight vampires, who the writers pretended wasn't really obviously a vampire, we have shopkeeper, free black guy who works on the railroad, woman, other woman... Even Abraham Lincoln himself, who actually historically did have a personality, was played by a cardboard cutout with a stovepipe hat. Also, it felt like each of the actors read out their lines alone in front of a green screen and then they edited them into scenes. There was no chemistry. Negative chemistry.
I don't know. I usually like to find at least one nice thing to say about a creative endeavour. Um. Dominic Cooper wears period dress really well?
Oh my god, it took me ten minutes to come up with something to say that wasn't bitchy, this was such a terrible movie.
Because the only thing I could think in the cinema was, "Terrible movie."
"Teeeerrible movie."
"How is this movie so terri-- Holy shit that vampire just threw a horse at Abraham Lincoln! And Lincoln got on the horse and rode after him, that was awesome!"
"And now, back to the characters that you couldn't persuade me to care about if they were all played by Tom Hiddleston and Hayley Atwell."
I think the main problem the film had was that they didn't actually establish any of the characters'.. well, characters. I couldn't tell you any of their defining character traits. Instead we have guy who knows how to fight vampires, who the writers pretended wasn't really obviously a vampire, we have shopkeeper, free black guy who works on the railroad, woman, other woman... Even Abraham Lincoln himself, who actually historically did have a personality, was played by a cardboard cutout with a stovepipe hat. Also, it felt like each of the actors read out their lines alone in front of a green screen and then they edited them into scenes. There was no chemistry. Negative chemistry.
I don't know. I usually like to find at least one nice thing to say about a creative endeavour. Um. Dominic Cooper wears period dress really well?
Oh my god, it took me ten minutes to come up with something to say that wasn't bitchy, this was such a terrible movie.