42 weeks and counting
My feet are killing me they are so swollen, my hands protest when I write because they are so swollen. Rolling over in bed is a heinous mission I'd rather not have to undertake anymore, but I can't stay on the one side too long or my hips get deep throbbing charlie horses in them. But that's usually ok cause I need to get up and pee anyway...
My first born was 41+6, my 2nd born 41+3... I was half hoping my 3rd born would be in the 40+ range but no. This weekend is the 42 week range (adjusted to suit the way hospitals do their calculations or technically I'm really 40 weeks since day of conception). The hospital would have admitted me 3 days ago and given me a cervical sweep or broken my waters if I would have let them. They keep threatening me with another c-section.
I've allowed their tests and they have NO medical reason why they need to hurry this along except the fact that the rate of fetal death increases ever so slightly after 42 weeks and by ever so slightly I mean 1-2 deaths out of every 1000. Not that they have much data on that sort of stuff because generally they don't let women get that far along!! Come 41 weeks they are all about getting that baby out of you. But I won't let them which I'm sure drives them a little insane.
My blood pressure is fine. Baby's heart rate is fine. Baby's movement is off the charts still, he is one active little bubbalicious. They did an ultrasound yesterday which showed there's still a decent amount of amniotic fluid present which indicates my placenta is still running efficiently. The doctor mentioned concerned about the fact that this baby is likely to be in the 11 pound range that 'they' just don't know how well my placenta can cope with baby's needs. Well... plenty of amniotic fluid indicates placenta is doing just fine coping with baby's needs. Fact baby got to grow that big to begin with indicates placenta is doing just fine coping with baby's needs. He said the bigger the baby the more it needs... I'm obviously doing great giving him what he needs!
So I'm super proud for sticking with what I want and not succumbing to what 'they' want and the hospital policies. Actually every time he mentioned how it's 'hospital policy' I could help but smile which might have infuriated him a little. Honestly, I don't give a fuck about hospital policy. I know my body, I know my baby very well after carrying him to full term, so I know all is well and they have absolutely no legitimate, medical reason to induce or c-section me.
So they begrudgingly let me come home on Thursday and again on Friday after I stayed adamant that no I did not want an internal examination from them so they could sneakily sweep and stretch me thank you very much! And no I do not want my waters ruptured thank you very much. I'm a VBAC and inducement increases my risk of uterine rupture, so why, why would I want to be induced?
Still, it's almost tempting to take up their offers. I'm so tired. So exhausted. My body isn't getting enough rest, I'm always uncomfortable. Walking to the toilet is excruciating if I've been laying or sitting down too long and my bladder is as full as it can get these days. During one of the many trips through the night I can almost not move at all the pain is so bad, like Freddy Krueger is up in there scraping me with his razor hand. I have to find hand holds to help bear some of this weight so I can walk into the toilet. I have to turn side on to do the dishes or to cook dinner. I can barely reach anyone to give them a good hug. Walking just a small way has me out of breath and tired beyond measure. I am almost incapable of doing any chores at all and forget grocery shopping - that's become my worst nightmare.
I love my baby boy. Already I love him to pieces and I am looking forward to seeing what he looks like and what he sounds like and what kind of personality he has. I'm happy that he's safe and secure in me and so comfy he's not ready to come out yet, but I'm not comfy. I'm over it. I want my body back. I've done so much research on birthing and so much work on myself that I really want to experience a natural hypnobirthing this time around but the longer he takes to arrive the less likely my chances of that happening are. I know in a couple weeks once he's here and keeping me up all night I'll be wishing I could put him back in but for right now I want him out!!!! I'm ready to go back to work and paint. I'm ready to be able to hug people up close. I'm ready to be able to exercise again - Oh how I miss my exercising.
So I keep begging my baby to arrive. He keeps threatening but then nothing. I don't think I have the strength to fight the hospital much longer and I really want a different birthing experience this time. I've had two traumatic ones, it's time for a good one, especially if he turns out to be my last. Also if I end up with a c-section again, they probably won't even let me try for VBAC next time. I've been talking up hypnobirthing and natural birthing so much I need this to happen. *sigh* I just want him to arrive already. Not sure what he's waiting for. I'm ready to hold him and rock him and feed him and get to know him, I wish he wanted to come out and meet all of us too.
My first born was 41+6, my 2nd born 41+3... I was half hoping my 3rd born would be in the 40+ range but no. This weekend is the 42 week range (adjusted to suit the way hospitals do their calculations or technically I'm really 40 weeks since day of conception). The hospital would have admitted me 3 days ago and given me a cervical sweep or broken my waters if I would have let them. They keep threatening me with another c-section.
I've allowed their tests and they have NO medical reason why they need to hurry this along except the fact that the rate of fetal death increases ever so slightly after 42 weeks and by ever so slightly I mean 1-2 deaths out of every 1000. Not that they have much data on that sort of stuff because generally they don't let women get that far along!! Come 41 weeks they are all about getting that baby out of you. But I won't let them which I'm sure drives them a little insane.
My blood pressure is fine. Baby's heart rate is fine. Baby's movement is off the charts still, he is one active little bubbalicious. They did an ultrasound yesterday which showed there's still a decent amount of amniotic fluid present which indicates my placenta is still running efficiently. The doctor mentioned concerned about the fact that this baby is likely to be in the 11 pound range that 'they' just don't know how well my placenta can cope with baby's needs. Well... plenty of amniotic fluid indicates placenta is doing just fine coping with baby's needs. Fact baby got to grow that big to begin with indicates placenta is doing just fine coping with baby's needs. He said the bigger the baby the more it needs... I'm obviously doing great giving him what he needs!
So I'm super proud for sticking with what I want and not succumbing to what 'they' want and the hospital policies. Actually every time he mentioned how it's 'hospital policy' I could help but smile which might have infuriated him a little. Honestly, I don't give a fuck about hospital policy. I know my body, I know my baby very well after carrying him to full term, so I know all is well and they have absolutely no legitimate, medical reason to induce or c-section me.
So they begrudgingly let me come home on Thursday and again on Friday after I stayed adamant that no I did not want an internal examination from them so they could sneakily sweep and stretch me thank you very much! And no I do not want my waters ruptured thank you very much. I'm a VBAC and inducement increases my risk of uterine rupture, so why, why would I want to be induced?
Still, it's almost tempting to take up their offers. I'm so tired. So exhausted. My body isn't getting enough rest, I'm always uncomfortable. Walking to the toilet is excruciating if I've been laying or sitting down too long and my bladder is as full as it can get these days. During one of the many trips through the night I can almost not move at all the pain is so bad, like Freddy Krueger is up in there scraping me with his razor hand. I have to find hand holds to help bear some of this weight so I can walk into the toilet. I have to turn side on to do the dishes or to cook dinner. I can barely reach anyone to give them a good hug. Walking just a small way has me out of breath and tired beyond measure. I am almost incapable of doing any chores at all and forget grocery shopping - that's become my worst nightmare.
I love my baby boy. Already I love him to pieces and I am looking forward to seeing what he looks like and what he sounds like and what kind of personality he has. I'm happy that he's safe and secure in me and so comfy he's not ready to come out yet, but I'm not comfy. I'm over it. I want my body back. I've done so much research on birthing and so much work on myself that I really want to experience a natural hypnobirthing this time around but the longer he takes to arrive the less likely my chances of that happening are. I know in a couple weeks once he's here and keeping me up all night I'll be wishing I could put him back in but for right now I want him out!!!! I'm ready to go back to work and paint. I'm ready to be able to hug people up close. I'm ready to be able to exercise again - Oh how I miss my exercising.
So I keep begging my baby to arrive. He keeps threatening but then nothing. I don't think I have the strength to fight the hospital much longer and I really want a different birthing experience this time. I've had two traumatic ones, it's time for a good one, especially if he turns out to be my last. Also if I end up with a c-section again, they probably won't even let me try for VBAC next time. I've been talking up hypnobirthing and natural birthing so much I need this to happen. *sigh* I just want him to arrive already. Not sure what he's waiting for. I'm ready to hold him and rock him and feed him and get to know him, I wish he wanted to come out and meet all of us too.