it's hard to get by just upon a smile

[lunerose]

so,
tomorrow night is new year's eve.

it's just,
i don't feel like i've accomplished enough to call it a year.
and all this about new beginnings,
it's just a new title,
that's it.
the seasons will begin a new progression,
and the world will be another year older,
but nothing disappears and nothing is born.
nothing changes, really.

i'd love for a new beginning,
to take everything that i've done up to this point,
and just erase it like words on a page.
but the beginning of a new year can't do that.
nothing can do that.

we're all temporary,
but everything that we do is permanent.
we'll come and go like a movie played out from beginning to end,
but everything we ever say or think or do will linger,
hang here long after we've come and gone.
there's no taking anything back.
and i guess that's what scares me the most about the new year,
there's symbolism but there's no significance.
it doesn't mean anything.