they wander all around, black and white

[lunerose]

a great big, empty house.

i've already explored every corner and cabinet in the basement.
and i've laid on the roof for hours in the summer,
when it's warm and you feel surrounded by friends even when there's none there.
i've done everything there is to do here.

i used to be able to walk the length of the loop and find a new clearing or feeling each time around,
but lately i've been living in my head as my feet take their own steps.
all i can remember are the things i wish i could change,
and everything i take comfort in seems to upset someone else.

if i still knew anyone anymore,
i'd tell them how great it was that they controlled their own limbs,
their own thoughts,
but to leave me alone.
and that's where the rip in the seam begins and tears right through my head,
i can't think straight anymore.

i suck everything you say up through a straw and try to be just as stable.
i put myself in her place and the movie plays out on the inside of my eyelids,
the script runs all through the night so i won't forget by morning
what it is i should do if i want to peel off my shadow.

if you were with me in this house right now,
we could crawl into the cracks in the ceiling and watch invisible hands pull invisible strings connected to everybody's joints.
i want to close my mind around this like interlocking fingers.
i want some certainty,
a time signature so i know this all won't just stop.