Forcing It
As many of you know, I haven't regularly roleplayed since last year. Some of you know why. Those who don't... Well, sorry.
Either way, I've tried to start role playing again. It was very stimulating as per doing art and writing, even if it was focused around what I was doing. When casually RPing, PJ moved onward in leaps and bounds (and I only need one good bound and she's done) so... Yeah. I thought it might be a good idea.
Obviously my mind is just absolute trash because it's turned into it's own mini nightmare. Some of the players are far more experienced, NOT RUSTY AS A FORGOTTEN BIKE, and are just plain out better. Plus their characters are better. Everything's better about some of these people. Also, I'm completely different than everyone there, my style is loose, jittery and playful. I display things as they are in the character's mind, and most of my characters have questionable sanity, and are always going on about something. Everyone else is analytical, precisely explaining things in the most expert of ways, and all around just clean cut.
I'm not like that.
I don't think I can be like that. Even at work I was always the fruity one of the group, the playful magician of happy.
...yeah I was the happy one, shaddup 'bout it.
So anyway, I'm right now feeling a might bit inferior, and that makes me feel uncomfortable, and of course now I'm questioning ALL of my abilities, and wondering if everyone is just lying to me when they say I'm actually good at something.
Either way, I've tried to start role playing again. It was very stimulating as per doing art and writing, even if it was focused around what I was doing. When casually RPing, PJ moved onward in leaps and bounds (and I only need one good bound and she's done) so... Yeah. I thought it might be a good idea.
Obviously my mind is just absolute trash because it's turned into it's own mini nightmare. Some of the players are far more experienced, NOT RUSTY AS A FORGOTTEN BIKE, and are just plain out better. Plus their characters are better. Everything's better about some of these people. Also, I'm completely different than everyone there, my style is loose, jittery and playful. I display things as they are in the character's mind, and most of my characters have questionable sanity, and are always going on about something. Everyone else is analytical, precisely explaining things in the most expert of ways, and all around just clean cut.
I'm not like that.
I don't think I can be like that. Even at work I was always the fruity one of the group, the playful magician of happy.
...yeah I was the happy one, shaddup 'bout it.
So anyway, I'm right now feeling a might bit inferior, and that makes me feel uncomfortable, and of course now I'm questioning ALL of my abilities, and wondering if everyone is just lying to me when they say I'm actually good at something.